"That's if I get in." I close the book I just opened and wrap my arms around my legs.

"I'm just saying that maybe you could spend more time with your mum and I before you go away to start your own adventures." He sits on the bed and places his hand on my knee. "Your life for us has gone by far too quickly and I think it's wonderful that you're dedicating your time to an ill woman, who I know you care about. It makes me proud." It makes him proud? Shocking. "Don't roll your eyes at me."

"I'll try to spend more time with you and Mum." Maybe. I check my watch. "I really do have homework to do. I won't have time tomorrow. I have work straight after lunch."

"Okay." He relents and flicks me on the forehead. He moves to the door, but stops again. "How do you feel about dinner and a movie tomorrow?"

My brow quirks. "Like a Daddy date?"

"Yeah, like we used to do."

That doesn't sound so bad. "Sure. I finish work at five thirty. Pick me up?"

He nods with a smile. "Of course, my lady."

Now I feel bad for having a s.h.i.tty att.i.tude towards him. I reopen my book and quickly call as he descends the stairs, "Love you, Dad."

"I love you too," he calls back and I hear the smile in his voice.

Eloise: I can't come tonight. I have a feeling my dad will be checking on me.

I receive an image of him sticking his lower lip out. Giggle.

Eloise: And tomorrow he's taking me on a Daddy date after work, so I won't be able to meet you.

Isaac: So I won't see you until cla.s.s Friday?

This time I send him a picture of myself pouting.

Isaac: I'll need something a little racier to keep me going that long.

I send him a picture of my rabbit teddy.

Isaac: Remind me why I'm dating you again? I can't recall...

Eloise: Because I'm funny and cute. Now leave me be, I have a mountain of homework to get through.

Isaac: I have a surprise for you.

Eloise: Tying a ribbon around your p.e.n.i.s and offering me the chance to kiss it does not a good surprise make.

Isaac: That wasn't what I was doing, but that really doesn't sound like a bad idea...

Eloise: Stop distracting me!

Isaac: I'm serious, do you think you can get an alibi on Sunday?

Eloise: Why?

Isaac: You'll see.

I do love surprises.

We've never spent the day together before. We've not had the chance.

Now I really want to go and see him tonight, but I know I shouldn't risk it. My dad's in a good mood, which means him and Mum will probably have a late night tonight, so I won't be able to sneak out until there's just no longer a point to it.

Why is it that every eighteen year old I know is pretty much doing what they want when they want, yet I'm stuck inside like a criminal? It's so unfair. If I could afford my own place, I would so go for it, but Dad wouldn't let me anyway and I need money for university. I'm going to be living on campus in a co-ed dormitory allotment building I hope, so I need all of the money I can get.

I love my mum and dad and I'm lucky to have parents that care so much. I just hate how stifling their love is.

I sit with my dad at a cosy table in a restaurant on the outskirts of town. I've only been here a few times; it's not somewhere I'd come with friends.

"So, there's a reason I asked you here tonight." My dad clears his throat and sips on his wine.

"Go on." I settle my fork on the table as he pulls five large envelopes from his bag and hands them to me. "What are they?"

"I'm pretty sure they're your university acceptance letters."

I rub my hand over the top one, my heart racing in my chest. "When did I get these?"

"Yesterday morning."

"What if I haven't gotten in?"

My dad shrugs, a warm smile on his face. "Then we'll just have to apply to a different one."

"I do two, you do two?" I suggest and place the fifth one on the table.

My dad beams, happy to be included. "You do know that you'll have to accept two and decide between them, right?"

"Yeah." I start tearing at the envelopes and pull the white sheets of paper from inside. My dad does the same. I see his hands shaking as he goes, much like mine are.

My heart starts palpitating and I feel my skin break out with light perspiration as my eyes scan over the writing. My heart leaps, flips, dives and crashes back into place.

"You've been accepted into Hull and Manchester."

My eyes fill with tears. "I've been accepted into Boston and Leeds."

We both s.n.a.t.c.h at the final letter and shuffle closer so we can read it together. "On the terms that you get the grades promised," my dad reads aloud. "You've been accepted into Cambridge. They're offering you a place."

My hand flies to my mouth and the tears that burn my eyes finally fall. "We have to call Mum. She should have been here for this."

My dad hands me a smaller envelope, a final one. "Before we call her, I want to give you this. It's just a little something to tell you that, even though I've been hard on you, I am extremely proud of you."

I open the final letter and pick the strange blue booklet from the inside. Upon opening it I discover two long, thin airline tickets and a squeal escapes my throat. "France?"

My dad smiles, his eyes sparkling with happiness. "France. Paid for, but only for four weeks. I was going to do six, but your mother and I talked about it and figured that you'd be preparing for your new accommodations and would be wanting to make friends."

I stuff the tickets back into the booklet and throw my arms around the man I've so easily despised these past few months. "You had that much faith in me?"

"Of course." He hugs me back and strokes my hair as I cry into his shoulder. I don't think I've ever felt so happy. "Just please finish the year. Don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," I promise and pull away. "Can we go? I really want to tell Mum."

He nods and helps me put on my coat before pocketing the tickets. "I'll keep a hold of these for now."

"Good idea." I'd probably lose them. "Let's go!"

He chuckles and leads me to the bar, where he quickly pays before guiding me outside.

I can't wait to tell everybody.

Using my key, I let myself into Isaac's flat. I know I'm risking a lot coming here uninvited, but this can't wait. My dad thinks I've gone to tell my friends. If he knew where I'd really gone... I dread to think.

I still can't believe I got into Cambridge. It's just so far away. That was never even an option. I applied to Cambridge simply to receive a rejection, just so I'd have a better chance of deciding between Boston and Leeds, Leeds being even further away than Cambridge.

f.u.c.k.

The room is dark and quiet. I hear the sound of Isaac's breathing coming from the bedroom. After kicking off my shoes, I pad inside, keeping my footsteps light.

He's resting on his stomach, his arm reaching out as his fingers grip the pillow I usually rest on. I run my fingers through his trimmed hair and along his eyebrows, before tracing his nose and leaning forward to press my lips against his.

He hums in his sleep, his heated body turning as his hand comes up to grip my hair and deepen the kiss. "I didn't think you'd come." He whispers sleepily against my lips.

I pull back and reach for the bedside lamp.

The second he sees my face, he frowns with concern and sits up. The bedding slides from his body, revealing his beautiful chest, so defined and perfect. How could such a man ever want me?

"What's wrong?" He asks, reaching for me. I place the envelopes on the bed between us and watch as he slowly picks them up. He knows what they are immediately, but his face remains pa.s.sive as he opens them and flicks through. "You applied for Cambridge?"

"I just chose it for the h.e.l.l of it. I didn't think I'd get accepted."

He shakes his head. "I got rejected."

"From Cambridge?"

He nods. "That was my first choice. It's one of the best in the country, in the world. f.u.c.k... it's expensive though. Cambridge as a whole, not just the university."

I know that. "My dad is paying my tuition fees. I just have to pay for my living costs."

"Lucky for some." Isaac drops the envelopes on the bed and stares at me for the longest moment. "Are you going to Cambridge?"

I shrug. "I haven't decided yet. I really was looking at Boston."

"You'd be a fool to pa.s.s up this opportunity." He climbs from the bed and grabs his dressing gown from the wardrobe door before pulling it on and exiting the room.

I follow him into the kitchen and watch as he pours himself a gla.s.s of water. His strong, corded neck bobs with each large gulp. He slams the gla.s.s on the side and turns back to me. We stare at each other again, our eyes pa.s.sing an emotion back and forth. I don't know what it is and I don't want to know.

"You have to go there." He suddenly says. "It'll be amazing and anybody who sees that university on your future CV will put you above all of the rest."

"I won't be able to come home every weekend. I won't be able to fit the hours in." I ignore the pain that slices through my body.

"So?" He leans on the breakfast bar that separates us. "It's the opportunity of a lifetime." His hands runs through his hair, pushing the blonde locks out of his face.

"But... my friends, Judith, your dad, my parents," I cry and chew on my lower lip for a moment before adding, "And you."

He tenses, his eyes on the counter. "We knew this wouldn't last past the summer. We knew that when we got into this."

"I know but..."

"But nothing. Every single person on that list wants you to be happy. They want you to go where you want to go and get the education you deserve."

"I know..."

"Don't throw that away, not for them and definitely not because you think we'll go on to have some fairy tale romance. Boston is still far. I still will only see you on the weekends. Long distance doesn't work." I know he's right. It doesn't make it any easier though. He moves around the counter and pulls my head in close so he can touch his lips to my forehead. "Let's just keep this easy, like it has been. If we last into the summer..." If? "We'll be able to celebrate our last few weeks properly. We can go away for a few days."

I clear my throat and take a step back. "Actually I'm going to France. I leave a few days after school breaks up."

I see the shutters come down in his eyes. "Your dad paid?"

"Yeah."

"Must be nice having a rich Daddy." He says it with a monotone voice, but I know he's mocking me and I don't know why.

My mouth falls open. How dare he? My dad may be comfortable, but he's never spoiled me. He's paying for my education as well as my accommodation but nothing more. Besides, he's not rich, he's comfortable.

"I'm going to go," I snap, going back into the bedroom to grab my letters. I calm myself for a moment, ignoring his brief moment of bitterness. I put it down to jealousy. Maybe he can't believe that I have the chance that he never had. Still, that's hardly my fault. "Are we still on for Sunday?" I hold my envelopes in my arms, using them as a guard against his pa.s.sive demeanour. They do little to shield me.

"I don't know. I'll call you. I have to think."

"You have to think?" Okay, now I'm interested and a little bit annoyed. "About what?"

"About this." He motions between us both.

I can't be bothered with this. I can't stay for this. Today is a good day. No, today is a fantastic day and he isn't ruining it with his stupid brooding and his stupid thinking about things.

"Well then call me when you have it all figured out," I snap and stroll to the door. He doesn't follow. I pull it open and slam it behind me. My rage doesn't stop, but at least it clears my head on a few things.

He's right; Cambridge isn't that far and although I won't be able to visit every weekend, I'll still be able to come home often. I'll have even more time if I'm not tied down to a man who, for the next two years, I can't even legally be with.

Isaac We both knew what we were getting into. We both agreed that this was only a temporary thing, that neither would expect too much of the other.

I knew she'd be going to university. I knew she'd be leaving, but I can't help how badly it f.u.c.king hurts.

With my mum the way she's getting and my dad all alone, I can't leave. I have to stay. I want to stay with my parents. For the first time I want to do the right thing.

Eloise and I are in totally different places. This was never meant to be a serious thing. We were just supposed to enjoy each other's company without the aggravation of all the bulls.h.i.t that comes with relationships.