450.

was delivered. But any way you look at it, that's not much of a recommendation.

One thing that happened. When Dahil and Tiriis left the delivery room. Mark Gyril got the acting captain on the viewscreen and showed him the infant. "This is what we've been waiting for. Your orders, sir?" ,

And Ferenc Szabo said, "You'll have to kill it, of course."

"Come down here, if you please, and give me that order in person." And Ferenc went there, looked at the first of the Children.

Then he shook his head. "The order is rescinded. Doc- tor, we are born at the wrong time."

If you think, as I first did, that the incident shows care- lessness on the part of the Others, take a second thought at it.

Quite some time passed before most of us learned much about the Children. There were about thirty born and living-three died-when I first saw one.

Describing them isn't exactly difficult; it's more like impossible. If you haven't seen one, you can't realty imag- ine it very well; if you have, you realize it's like trying to describe a cow to a cabbage. As a starting point, re- member how the Others look; then try to visualize the double exposure we got when Elys burned out the pro- jector. The first impression ...

. . . move separately, or any adjacent pair track for two-eye focus, to front or rear or ...

. . . between the left legs, and female between the right. As with humans and Others, elimination is centrally located. It appears ...

Gyril refuses to speculate whether this means a tendency to multiple births.

Later insert here. I find some of the tape erased or garbled, and when I record it again, the same thing hap- pens. I think I'm running into the same kind of censor- ship, from the Others, that stopped us from getting X-rays.

Maybe they'll let this explanation through and maybe not.

451.

Either way, Fm splicing from here directly into the next part they haven't tampered with.

. . . sounds tike a bunch of little monsters, I realize, but they're not Once you get used to them; which does take some doing, they're quite an attractive form of life.

I don*t know how much of this is objective and how much their own doing, because the Children's powers of mental influence, when they use them, are cards and spades over what the Others can do. Consider: newly born, the first one changed Ferenc Szabo's mind, about killing it, as soon as Ferenc was in the baby's presence. After ten or twelve days, we found, they can reach you any where on the ship. We have no way to test the effect over longer distances.

Base does, of course, but for obvious reasons would rather not make the final test. Which is to say, letting us come close enough that the Children's influence could reach Earth. And since it turned out that Base knew the problem, apparently the Others hadn't stopped Ferenc from reporting the situation as he saw it. Well, I never claimed to understand the Others, and I still don't

So Base finally did something; they sent us a directive.

Per orders, Ferenc Szabo assembled the officer comple- ment to hear it together, and piped it through the inter- com broadcast circuit to the rest of the ship. The direc- tive made more sense than I expected.

"Attention, Captain Szabo and all present" it began.

"You must not-repeat, must not-return here with the creatures you call the Children. We realize you are low on supplies. Consequently, a ship, basically similar to your own, will be diverted from its present mission to re- supply you in space. Rendezvous coordinates in space-time will be given you as soon as possible. Meanwhile, to sim- plify rendezvous, maintain your own vectors constant"

I thought, but what about the other crew, when Dahil and Tiriis get at them? The person reading the directive must have been reading my mind, too. "Except for one male volunteer, your supply ship will be uocrewfcd. The volunteer will join you; the ship will be abandoned once you have transshipped your supplies. To ensure ti is outcome, that ship, after achieving rendezvous. will roe left with no appreciable amount of fueL"

That part impressed me; Base was serious. I have some

452.

idea of what these ships cost. Enough pure fright, ap- parently, could overrule even budget considerations.

The voice continued, and I was surprised to detect in it a real note of human feeling. 'To pronounce exile on innocent, loyal Agency personnel is a hard thing. But we have to do it. After you have, as rapidly as possible, re-supplied your ship, reverse course. Proceed, at max acceleration, back across the dead belt that lies beyond the Demu planets, and continue until your fuel supply falls below the point of no return. You understand, I trust."

I got it, all right; what surprised me was that it made sense. Now the voice came slower. "From there, you will be on your own, to search out any habitable planet and settle there. When you do, your ship's drive must be com- pletely disabled, and all technical literature concerning it, destroyed."

The throat-clearing, then, sounded embarrassed. "This order, we know, demands complete sacrifice of your own future plans. But we have no alternative. These aliens cannot be allowed to take over the human race."

I wondered if Base had already made the decision when they had only the Others to fear. Then I decided it didn't matter what I wondered. What mattered was whether Base had missed one vital point, here.

Not entirely, they hadn't: "The Others, if not yet the Children, will put mental pressure on you to disobey this directive. We ask you now, all of you listening, to concentrate together on the thought, the purpose, that you will remove this threat. Awake or asleep, never let that group purpose leave your mind, and you win win.

Despite this alien attempt to force you to betray . . ."

Well, then it got hokey. But up to then-I don't know where they dug him up, but somebody at Base had some brains. Picked up the group concentration thing, how the Others hadn't stopped Soong's goons from jumping Ferenc, from Mark Gyril's report. Well, their idea, now, might work, at that.

The wrap-up was: "You are heroes, all of you. You will never be forgotten. Thank you." Funny thing. Given the tone of voice, it sounded convincing.

As a matter of fact, we did start working on group con- centration to resist mental pressure. Hung around and even gave each other pep talks. Anyone alone, with no

453.

one else's thoughts to help, is vulnerable, and we are beginning to know it. The next...

. . . was changed, for rendezvous. Remembering co- ordinates isn't my department, but the least-fuel compu- tation had us already slowed to "rest," whatever that means in the twisting Arm of a spiral galaxy, and moving back down-Arm into the dead belt, before the supply ship could reach us. Ferenc Szabo's been following instruc- tions; I hope it works.

I hope you got all this, too. Hasn't been easy, getting it on tape in chunks, putting it out on Phasewave the same way. When it wasn't having to dodge Rigan-who, to give him credit, hasn't snooped on me lately-it was stooges of Soong's for a while. And a time there, I was some cautious about Ferenc Szabo.

But either it's all gone out or it hasn't, and either you've got it or not. We know a ship's coming, and there's only two or three there could be, finished and launched since we left, but we don't know which, or from where. We'll find out, I guess.

And I don't know how long until rendezvous; S^abo hasn't said.

But now at least you know why we won't be back.

If you're lucky.

454.

III.

Decisions

"Do you believe that, Hayward?" Barton was finished with the tape now. They hadn't tried to hear it in one sitting, he and Limila and Arlie Fox, because Barton kept turning it back to check on earlier things to make sure he had them straight. So they'd had two meal breaks, and to Barton, his day was getting into evening.

The young man spread his hands. "It all fits." He turned to the console once more. "I'll punch up the omcial-reports tape for you; just skim it, if you like. But then see what you think."

"All right." Barton had plenty of time; he began with the earliest message relayed to Base from the down-party on Opal, and at first he skipped nothing. Then be nodded, and began sampling only the first phrases of each entry and punching ahead to the next start-code. When he came to Base's order for the ship to get itself per- manently lost, he listened all the way through. Then he turned the playback off. "I guess I believe it, too."