His stomach lurched.

Christ.

Diphtheria was something from which he could not simply lunge and grasp her back to safety.

"You must leave here," he said. "Tonight."

He strode the last paces to her room and opened the door.

She struggled in his arms. "I have to go back to him."

"You must keep your distance."

"James, how can you say that?"

"I will not have you be at risk." He laid her on her bed.

She sat up. "Have you heard nothing I have said? Benjamin lost his mother."

He blinked at her several times. "Benjamin's mother is dead?"

Catriona swung her legs over the side of the bed. "Yes. He came here looking for you. He needed you."

James had traveled all night and had been consumed with worry. His fear was vastly different from worry he'd known in battle, worry for his ship, for his men, for his career.

He had easily stood tall in the face of all those things.

But fearing for the loss of Catriona was something he was ill-prepared for. His need to throw himself in the path between her and any dangers had brought on a deluge of guilt. He had failed his very life's purpose.

After the shock of seeing the black wreath on the door, he had not thought beyond the relief of seeing her alive. Now his weary mind struggled to comprehend what she was saying. Dead. Katherine Neil was dead.

"He was so strong, so brave. But then we buried her two days ago and afterwards he collapsed with the fever. You should have been there for him."

Her softly spoken words seared into him.

James sat on the mattress beside her. "How could I possibly have known?" He touched her face and found it cool, but he didn't trust that. He plunged his hand into the neckline of her gown and pressed the upper swell of her breast. Warm. Not hot as with fever.

He wanted to fall to his knees and thank God.

How long must he keep a vigil over her before being sure she wasn't sick? The fever didn't always come immediately. It could take days to know if she were infected.

If anything happened to her- Acid gushed up into his throat. For a moment he felt as though he would vomit from fear. He swallowed hard. "You must rest now."

"But Benjamin needs-"

"I'll see to him."

"James..."

He bent and put his lips to hers, a hard, brief kiss. Then he rose and stared down at her. "The subject is closed. Now get some sleep."

Sunny banged her fists on her chambers door yet again. "Damn you, James Blayne! Let me out of here!"

She grimaced. She had shouted so much, her throat was raw and she panted for breath. She slid to her knees and rested her cheek against the wooden door.

He wouldn't come.

He had ignored her all day.

Nor would any of the others be brave enough to come and unlock her door, either.

Her gaze caught on her dinner tray, now empty. She had forced herself to eat to keep up her strength, but every bite had been a chore, for she was sick with worry at what toll the illness was taking in the house.

Was Benjamin better or worse?

Would Mrs. Taylor and Mrs. Johnson and the maids escape contagion?

Did James really believe she could ever be such a self-consumed person as to not care about her own household? Did he think she would really run and let others suffer and risk infection?

Anger poured into her blood, heating it, renewing her energy. She jumped to her feet then began to pound on the door once more.

"Stand back, Catriona." James' voice held a harsh note of command.

Her heart thumped all the harder. She stepped back several paces and the door swung open. He was stripped to his shirtsleeves and breeches. And for the first time, except in bed, she saw him look disheveled, with his coal-black hair plastered haphazardly to his forehead and his shirt wrinkled and stained.

"Benjamin?" She barely dared whisper the question. Her stomach twisted as she waited for his answer.

"He's much the same. But the doctor is optimistic that he will begin to turn the corner toward recovery soon."

"You must let me out of here. You must allow me to help."

He shook his head. "I will send you to Greythorn House with Ailise if you don't behave."

She shook her head. "You wouldn't dare risk exposing her to the sickness."

"Do not test me, Catriona."

"You can no' treat me as though I were a child," she snapped. "I am not made from spun glass."

His expression hardened. "Benjamin Neil is not your concern."

"He is Freddy's natural son."

"He is."

"He ought to be living with the Blaynes."

"He is not a Blayne."

Fury swept through her. "He is your blood."

"Catriona, I repeat, this is not your concern."

"I am a Blayne by marriage. It is my concern."

"No, it is not. And you should not have contact with him. I have provided for his comfort and well-being. I am seeing to his education, planning his career. It is all that can be done for him." James frowned. "The wreath on the door, your wearing black, it is all neither needed nor proper. His mother was not a member of the Blayne family." He paused for a moment, regarding her sternly. "Nor is he."

Sunny stared. "I can no' believe my ears."

His eyes were cold as stones. "I didn't make the rules."

"You don't have to abide by them so callously, either. He just lost his mother, yet you speak of him in such inhumane terms." She swallowed back the burning in her throat. "His mother was all he had in this world. Have you any notion what it is to be alone?"

James stiffened. "He can convalesce here, but then he will return to his home.."

"Return home?" she blurted. "He has no home. He lost his mother." Sunny saw the flash of fury in James' eyes and realized her mistake. "Surely there is another way," she said quickly amended. "It would be best if he abided here with us for a time."

James stared. "Abide with us? Catriona, we shall not be living together for any extended period. And certainly not under any circumstances where a young boy would be welcome. It is past time he was enrolled in school. His mother was a frail, nervous woman. She begged that he not be separated from her. I was inclined to be sympathetic and I provided him with the best tutors. But now that she is gone, there is no need to delay his further education."

Her heart took a sudden leap with the temerity of what she was about to say. She had thought it out all day whilst locked in here, and it was really the only way. She went and sat on the bed.

His boots sounded softly on the carpeted floor as he followed.

She looked up.

He stared down at her, eyes stern. "Tell me you realize that we shall not have a domestic life that could include children," he said. "I have never deluded you as to that fact."

Sunny nodded. "Other noblemen live in tranquility with their favorite mistresses. Yet you say our liaison must be kept an absolute secret."

"It is because of who you are. You are my cousin's widow."

"I have given the matter thought, and I have come to the only logical conclusion concerning our problems."

He scowled. "What conclusion?"

Rising panic quickened her breathing, but she forced the words from her mouth. "We should marry and provide a home for Benjamin and Ailise."

His dark brows lowered and a deep vertical crease appeared in the center of his forehead. The skin near his nose became pinched.

Oh, it was the most fearsome look!

She curbed the urge to run and forced herself to maintain eye contact with him. "It is the only way, James. They deserve a proper home, a proper family. A place to belong."

"It cannot be."

"Of course it can. Unless..." She bit her lip, pain lashing into her at the prospect. "Unless you have promised yourself to that woman you went to court."

His eyes widened ever so slightly, yet she noticed.

Oh, she noticed.

He had really gone to court another woman, intending to marry her.

A sick sensation twisted through her. She steeled herself. "Did you promise yourself?"

His expression hardened. "My life apart from you is none of your concern. And as far as a marriage between us, it cannot happen."

His words, so coldly spoken, so final, tore into her, tore a hole in her heart. She leaned away from him.

"Don't look at me like that, Catriona. I never promised marriage. Indeed, we discussed this matter early on. In the Carsons' parlor. And we came to the mutual agreement that a marriage between us would not be wise."

"That was when I believed I couldn't conceive a child. It was before I knew about Benjamin."

He frowned. "What has Benjamin to do with this?"

"He loves you."

His eyes flashed with some emotion. "He is not your concern."

"You are my concern. How can you possibly live with yourself if you do not do right by him?"

"I am doing right by him. I am doing all that can possibly be done for him."

She shook her head. "You could love him. You could take Freddy's place. He needs a father."

James closed his eyes and shook his head. "This is about you and me and the utter incompatibility for a marriage between us."

"Utter incompatibility?" She heard her voice, so small and disbelieving.

"You're not suited to be the wife of an earl."

Heat flamed her cheeks. "Of course, I am too common for you."

He held up a forestalling hand. "I didn't say that. I meant that the duties of a countess would quickly prove too onerous for you, too taxing. I don't want to see you live unhappily. I want to surround you with luxury and the leisure to live life as you choose."

"I would choose life with you, James. And I would work night and day to be worthy of you." Sadness squeezed her heart. "But life is seldom what we choose." She bolstered her courage. "Benjamin needs us."

"I will hear nothing more of Benjamin Neil."

Her heart broke. "I cannot love you, not any longer."

"I never asked for your love. I expect only your submission and your loyalty."

The hard cold truth of his statement stunned her. Tears blurred his image. "I am leaving. I shall expect unfettered access to my money."

"Your money will not last you two years. Where will you go then?"