"Mr. Blackmon, your wife has been in labor almost five hours now. The baby is breach and in distress. We're going to take it by C-Section."

"What does that mean?"

"It means the baby is trying to enter the birth ca.n.a.l backward and I can't turn it. We need to get the baby out of there as quickly as possible."

"Sure, whatever is best for Ann and the baby. I just want them to be okay."

"She'll be fine. Come this way, she's asking for you, but only for a minute. Time is crucial," Dr. Smith said. "This is a procedure I've performed many times. Follow me, we don't have much time."

Ann's faint smile greeted Jerry. "Hi, sweetheart." Her words came slow and a slurred because of the anesthetics.

"Dr. Smith says you're going to be okay." He took her hand and stroked it gently. Fighting back tears, he leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'll be right here when you come out. I love you."

Dr. Smith nodded toward the door, Jerry's cue to head back to his vigil in the waiting area with two other expectant fathers.

"This your first?" a heavyset man from across the room asked. He was holding his young daughter on his lap, who was entertaining herself by taking his pens from one pocket and putting them into another pocket of his bib overalls.

"Yeah, does it show that much? Actually, I have an eight-year-old stepson, but this is my first."

"Your bloodshot eyes gave you away. How many cups of that nasty machine coffee have you had? If you want some real coffee, go down to the cafeteria. They keep fresh brewed down there all the time."

"How many kids do you have besides that cute little blonde on your lap?"

"This one?" He held up the kid, who giggled in response. "She has two older brothers. They're home with Mama. We're expecting a new little brother or sister pretty soon now, the doc said. I couldn't help overhearing what your doctor told you about the C-Section. You might as well go to the cafeteria and get something to eat and some decent coffee. It'll be a while before the delivery's finished. Your wife will be out of it for a couple of hours. If they come in before you get back, I'll come get you." He stuck out his hand. "I'm Jerald Stout and this is my daughter, Tracy."

"Glad to meet your, Jerald. I'm Jerry Blackmon. I think I'll take your advice, I'm starving. We've been here since ten-thirty this morning."

Jerry's eyes turned to the double doors from the delivery room hall every time someone came through. This time it was Jerald's doctor, who appeared and congratulated him on a new baby daughter. Tracy smiled and exclaimed to Jerry, "I have a new baby sister!"

"Congratulations, Jerald," Jerry said. "You too, Tracy. It'll be fun having a little sister to play with now." Jerry watched as they disappear behind the double doors.

Jerry headed for the cafeteria. The shrink-wrapped tuna salad wasn't too bad. He got some fresh coffee and returned to the waiting room. He was finally relaxed after Dr. Smith told him he performed C-Sections routinely and seldom had any problems.

The big doors burst open, bringing Jerry to his feet. Dr. Smith announced, "Mr. Blackmon, you have a beautiful baby daughter. All her vital signs appear normal and healthy. But, before you go in to see your wife, I want to caution you that her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck."

"What are you saying? We've been trying for three years for this baby. Is she all right?"

"She appears fine. I just wanted to caution you to observe her closely the next few months. Of course, I will be monitoring her at her regular checkups to make sure she's progressing at a normal pace."

"Doctor, you're scaring me. What kinds of things should we be looking for?"

"All babies progress differently and not at the same rate. So don't start comparing her to every baby you see. Just watch how she responds to your voice and sounds around her. Does she make sounds with her voice, or how her motor skills are developing. Those kinds of things."

"Did you talk to Ann about this?"

"Yes, but she probably won't remember much, if anything, of what I said. I'll explain everything to her when she comes in for her first visit. What you want to tell her is up to you. Come with me, I'll show you your beautiful little girl. She'll be in the nursery because Ann is still feeling the effects of the anesthetic. Nurse, will you take Mr. Blackmon to see our newest addition?"

"Follow me please, Mr. Blackmon." A nurse led the way down the hall to a large window behind which were dozens of cribs.

"Wow, there are so many. Which one's mine?" Jerry said, peering through the window.

"What's your baby's name?" the nurse said with a smile.

"Elizabeth Ann. We named her after my grandmother and my wife. We plan to call her Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth Ann is a pretty name. I'll have the nursery attendant bring her up to the window."

The nursery attendant picked up a tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket and brought her to the viewing window.

"She's so tiny. Hi, Elizabeth, it's me, your daddy." Jerry talked as though the nurse was still there and Elizabeth could hear him through the gla.s.s "Doesn't she look beautiful sleeping so peacefully?"

Dr. Smith had shed his scrubs and walked up behind Jerry unnoticed while he talked to his new daughter. "Well, I'm off. That little lady made me miss my favorite dinner. Have a good evening, Mr. Blackmon."

Elizabeth's room had been ready for months. Little Ricky helped pick out toys and a blanket for her bed. The walls were a soft yellow to accent her bright yellow ba.s.sinet, above which hung a windup mobile with b.u.t.terflies whose wings flapped to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

"Let me take Elizabeth upstairs and put her down. You stay down here and catch up some lost time with Ricky."

"I said I was sore, not helpless," Ann chided.

Alice and Ricky came into the foyer.

"Enjoy it while you can, dear. It won't last long," Alice said and gave her daughter a welcome-home hug.

"Mommy, I have surprise for you. Close your eyes and hold out your hands," Ricky instructed.

Ann closed her eyes and extended her hands to receive Ricky's surprise.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now."

Ann's eyes widened when she saw a golden necklace with a locket on it. "Ricky . . . It's beautiful."

"Open it," Ricky said, jumping up and down clapping his hands.

Carefully, Ann opened the locket. Her eyes glistened as she looked at the tiny photograph of her and Ricky when she brought him home from the hospital.

"Thank you. That's the nicest surprise I've ever had. Come here, my little man." Ann leaned over and wrapped Ricky tight in her arms.

"Mommy! I can't breathe!"

"Okay." She released her grip. "You run along and play while Nanna and Mommy visit."

Ricky nodded and went into the living room.

Ann and Alice laughed and hugged again then headed into the kitchen and took seats at the kitchen table. So much had happened since that picture was taken. It was the first time she'd thought about Rick in years. He was out of her life, but not totally out of her conscience.

"I saw those tears. What were you thinking?" Alice asked.

"Just for a second there I thought about Rick and wondered where he is and what he's doing. I would like to see him some time and explain what happened. He didn't deserve the treatment I gave him."

"Listen honey, you have a fine man and a good life. Don't go dragging up those bad times. Do you hear me?" Alice raised her voice and glared across the table. "You get those thoughts out of your head before Jerry comes back downstairs."

"I know, I know, but it just wasn't right. It was my first true love and you never forget that no matter how it turns out. It took a long time to get over him. I just wonder if he has married and found happiness after the way I lied to him and left with no explanation. If you could have seen the look in his eyes that last night . . . I'll never forget the hurt expression on his face. If I hadn't come in at that very second, I would have run away with him. I was that close to giving in."

The sound of Jerry descending the stairs caused Alice to put a finger to her lips. "Shhhh," she said and grabbed Ann's hand tightly. "I don't want to hear any more of that kind of talk. I mean it."

"Elizabeth's dry and sound asleep," Jerry announced as he entered the kitchen.

"What's for lunch?" Ann asked and jerked her hand from Alice's grip. "After that hospital food, I'm starved for some home cooking."

"How does Pizza sound?" Jerry laughed.

Chapter 29.

"Everyone had sacrificed throughout the war years, but peace brought our boys home to a changed world we could have only imagined before Pearl Harbor."

December 1965 The Blackmon house was bustling before daylight. Jerry was up first. He had to be at work at the rail yard by seven o'clock.

"I'll change Libby's diaper while you go wake Ricky up," Jerry whispered to Ann, who was slowly climbing out of bed, half-awake.

They'd decided to shorten her name to just Libby after Ricky complained Elizabeth was too long and hard to say.

"Rise and shine, little man," Ann called from the door of his room-the first of several attempts to get him up for school.

Jerry fixed breakfast for everyone, including Libby's bottle, and left it on the stove in a pan of warm water. Hot oatmeal was left in a covered pan for everyone else. Ann's maternity leave was up, and she was having difficulty leaving Libby every morning.

Alice doted on her grandchildren and was indispensable now that Libby had arrived. She also met Ricky at the corner school bus stop every day. Red was there in body only. He was completely senile and spent most of his day sitting and rocking and staring at the TV whether it was on or not.

While everyone was happily gathered under one roof at the Blackmon house, it wasn't perfect. Sylvia Blackmon, Jerry's mother, had grudgingly moved into the studio apartment over their three car garage.

The move had been a hard sell for Jerry and took weeks to accomplish. Sylvia insisted she wanted to live alone and could take care of herself. She never missed an opportunity to put guilt on him for leaving her and marrying Ann.

Moving his mother wasn't a matter of choice. Jerry had to move her so they could watch her more closely for her own safety. Besides being paranoid, she was becoming forgetful. Sylvia nearly set her house on fire by leaving the gas burner on under a pan of soup she was warming for lunch one day.

The next day Jerry came to her house after work. They sat at the kitchen where they usually had family discussions. It wasn't pleasant, but Jerry finally gave his mother an ultimatum: it was either the studio apartment or a nursing home.

"Christmas is only three weeks away, Mom. Why don't you come on over and share the season and the blessings of your grandchildren with the rest of the family?" Jerry pleaded.

"You tricked me," Sylvia complained. "You planned to leave me all along and married that girl as your excuse. And now you're feeling guilty. Well, you should." Sylvia puffed up and crossed her arms.

"Her name is Ann," Jerry said, trying to control his anger. "You can believe what you want, but you have to move out of this house before you burn it down with you in it. Red doesn't say much, but you'll like Alice. She's looking forward to you moving in. You can get to know Ricky and Libby. They're great kids. It's the best thing, Mom."

"They never wanted me around before. What's changed?"

"They've always wanted to include you in the family, but you never gave them a chance. You didn't go to our wedding, or Libby's christening. You're the one who refused to join the family. Look, I already have a buyer for the house. One of the guys at the warehouse has two kids and just had a new baby and needs more s.p.a.ce. I promised he could have it before Christmas, sort of like a present for his wife and family."

"How considerate, you think more of your friends at work than me. I guess I don't have any choice now, do I?"

A moving van arrived at his mother's house two days later. Sylvia never spoke to anyone during the moving process. Jerry and Ann helped unpack boxes, trying to sort out what could be thrown out or given to Goodwill. A box of old letters and high school memorabilia broke open and spilled out on the floor.

Ann sat on the floor with her legs crossed, looking through Jerry's yearbook when she came across an inscription next to his picture. Written in beautiful flowing script, the writer vowed to love Jerry forever and wanted to get married and have a boy baseball captain and a girl cheerleader captain just like them. It was signed, "With all my love, Marilyn."

"You never told me you were captain of the baseball team and dated the captain of the cheerleader squad."

"You never asked," Jerry said as he opened another box. "That was a long time ago. Come on, let's keep working or we'll never get through all this stuff."

Sylvia spoke up from across the room, "I'll bet he didn't tell you he got her pregnant, did he?"

Jerry stood up and glared at his mother. "Apologize to Ann for that remark. It's not true and you know it."

"I'll do no such thing. The girl needs to know the truth."

"What is she talking about, Jerry?"

"It was nothing, just rumors. Her father lost his job and the family had to move away before she graduated. I never heard from her again."

Ann pouted and looked to Sylvia. "Why would you say such a thing, Mrs. Blackmon? If Jerry said it didn't happen, then it didn't happen."

"I knew you would take his side. That's all right, I know the truth. But you, you'll believe anything he tells you. I lost my son when he married you. But don't worry about me. I'll be fine out here by myself. I don't need any of you." Sylvia left the room in a huff.

"I don't think she's well," Ann said in a concerned voice.

"Now you see why I had to get her away from the home and have her closer where I can keep an eye on her. She's bitter because my dad left her and she had to raise me by herself. I've taken care of her ever since I was a teenager. When I was grown, as long as I paid the bills and came home every night to have supper with her, she was okay. But when we started dating, she got it in her head I was going to leave her just like Dad did. She has dwelled on it so long. She's just bitter at the world. I'm sorry we didn't have this discussion earlier. You had enough to worry about. I couldn't risk losing you over it."

Ann hesitated for a moment, gathered up her courage, and cautiously asked Jerry, "Was your girlfriend pregnant?"

"No. At least I don't think so . . . Yes, we had had s.e.x, but I was always careful. We dated for over a year. She wore my cla.s.s ring and all that high school stuff."

Ann stood up and wrapped her arms around Jerry. "Did you love her?"

"We thought we were in love. We were just a couple of kids. What did we know about love?"

She squeezed him tight until she trembled from the thoughts creeping into her head. The feeling of that night when she was standing outside her door with Rick washed over her body. Jerry may have a child he'd never know, just like Rick.

Fear gripped her as she wrestled with whether to tell Jerry about Rick being little Ricky's biological father. She only broke up with him because her father and Sam thought he was Tank's baby. Being here with her family, with a good job and nice house was all a lie. She broke Rick's heart to live a lie. What would telling him accomplish? It could destroy their marriage. She wondered if Jerry had ever wanted to find Marilyn to learn the truth.

Still shaking, Ann pulled away from Jerry. "I need to go check on Libby," she said, and then headed for the stairs.

"Don't pay any attention to my mother," he called after her, "she's just a bitter old woman."

But Ann had already disappeared down the stairs.

Livid at his mother, Jerry threw the door to her bedroom open so hard the door k.n.o.b left a dent in the wall.