8.

Peter thought he had parents dear, Brothers, sisters, cousins, cronies, In the fens of Lincolnshire; He perhaps had found them there Had he gone and boldly shown his _115

9.

Solemn phiz in his own village; Where he thought oft when a boy He'd clomb the orchard walls to pillage The produce of his neighbour's tillage, With marvellous pride and joy. _120

10.

And the Devil thought he had, 'Mid the misery and confusion Of an unjust war, just made A fortune by the gainful trade Of giving soldiers rations bad-- _125 The world is full of strange delusion--

11.

That he had a mansion planned In a square like Grosvenor Square, That he was aping fashion, and That he now came to Westmoreland _130 To see what was romantic there.

12.

And all this, though quite ideal,-- Ready at a breath to vanish,-- Was a state not more unreal Than the peace he could not feel, _135 Or the care he could not banish.

13.

After a little conversation, The Devil told Peter, if he chose, He'd bring him to the world of fashion By giving him a situation _140 In his own service--and new clothes.

14.

And Peter bowed, quite pleased and proud, And after waiting some few days For a new livery--dirty yellow Turned up with black--the wretched fellow _145 Was bowled to h.e.l.l in the Devil's chaise.

PART 3.

h.e.l.l.

1.

h.e.l.l is a city much like London-- A populous and a smoky city; There are all sorts of people undone, And there is little or no fun done; _150 Small justice shown, and still less pity.

2.

There is a Castles, and a Canning, A Cobbett, and a Castlereagh; All sorts of caitiff corpses planning All sorts of cozening for trepanning _155 Corpses less corrupt than they.

3.

There is a ***, who has lost His wits, or sold them, none knows which; He walks about a double ghost, And though as thin as Fraud almost-- _160 Ever grows more grim and rich.

4.

There is a Chancery Court; a King; A manufacturing mob; a set Of thieves who by themselves are sent Similar thieves to represent; _165 An army; and a public debt.

5.

Which last is a scheme of paper money, And means--being interpreted-- 'Bees, keep your wax--give us the honey, And we will plant, while skies are sunny, _170 Flowers, which in winter serve instead.'

6.

There is a great talk of revolution-- And a great chance of despotism-- German soldiers--camps--confusion-- Tumults--lotteries--rage--delusion-- _175 Gin--suicide--and methodism;

7.

Taxes too, on wine and bread, And meat, and beer, and tea, and cheese, From which those patriots pure are fed, Who gorge before they reel to bed _180 The tenfold essence of all these.

8.

There are mincing women, mewing, (Like cats, who amant misere,) Of their own virtue, and pursuing Their gentler sisters to that ruin, _185 Without which--what were chast.i.ty?(2)

9.

Lawyers--judges--old hobn.o.bbers Are there--bailiffs--chancellors-- Bishops--great and little robbers-- Rhymesters--pamphleteers--stock-jobbers-- _190 Men of glory in the wars,--

10.

Things whose trade is, over ladies To lean, and flirt, and stare, and simper, Till all that is divine in woman Grows cruel, courteous, smooth, inhuman, _195 Crucified 'twixt a smile and whimper.

11.

Thrusting, toiling, wailing, moiling, Frowning, preaching--such a riot!

Each with never-ceasing labour, Whilst he thinks he cheats his neighbour, _200 Cheating his own heart of quiet.

12.

And all these meet at levees;-- Dinners convivial and political;-- Suppers of epic poets;--teas, Where small talk dies in agonies;-- _205 Breakfasts professional and critical;

13.

Lunches and snacks so aldermanic That one would furnish forth ten dinners, Where reigns a Cretan-tongued panic, Lest news Russ, Dutch, or Alemannic _210 Should make some losers, and some winners--

45.

At conversazioni--b.a.l.l.s-- Conventicles--and drawing-rooms-- Courts of law--committees--calls Of a morning--clubs--book-stalls-- _215 Churches--masquerades--and tombs.

15.

And this is h.e.l.l--and in this smother All are d.a.m.nable and d.a.m.ned; Each one d.a.m.ning, d.a.m.ns the other; They are d.a.m.ned by one another, _220 By none other are they d.a.m.ned.

16.

'Tis a lie to say, 'G.o.d d.a.m.ns'! (1) Where was Heaven's Attorney General When they first gave out such flams?

Let there be an end of shams, _225 They are mines of poisonous mineral.

17.

Statesmen d.a.m.n themselves to be Cursed; and lawyers d.a.m.n their souls To the auction of a fee; Churchmen d.a.m.n themselves to see _230 G.o.d's sweet love in burning coals.

18.

The rich are d.a.m.ned, beyond all cure, To taunt, and starve, and trample on The weak and wretched; and the poor d.a.m.n their broken hearts to endure _235 Stripe on stripe, with groan on groan.

19.

Sometimes the poor are d.a.m.ned indeed To take,--not means for being blessed,-- But Cobbett's snuff, revenge; that weed From which the worms that it doth feed _240 Squeeze less than they before possessed.

20.

And some few, like we know who, d.a.m.ned--but G.o.d alone knows why-- To believe their minds are given To make this ugly h.e.l.l a Heaven; _245 In which faith they live and die.

21.

Thus, as in a town, plague-stricken, Each man be he sound or no Must indifferently sicken; As when day begins to thicken, _250 None knows a pigeon from a crow,--

22.

So good and bad, sane and mad, The oppressor and the oppressed; Those who weep to see what others Smile to inflict upon their brothers; _255 Lovers, haters, worst and best;

23.

All are d.a.m.ned--they breathe an air, Thick, infected, joy-dispelling: Each pursues what seems most fair, Mining like moles, through mind, and there _260 Scoop palace-caverns vast, where Care In throned state is ever dwelling.

PART 4.