So down with them!

So down with them!

Down with the Flowers of Progress!

(Flourish. Enter King, his three daughters, Lady Sophy, and the Flowers of Progress.)

King: What means this most unmannerly irruption?

Is this your grat.i.tude for boons conferred?

Scaphio: Boons? Bah! A fico for such boons, say we!

These boons have brought Utopia to a standstill!

Our pride and boast--the Army and the Navy-- Have both been reconstructed and remodeled Upon so irresistible a basis That all the neighboring nations have disarmed-- And War's impossible! Your County Councillor Has pa.s.sed such drastic Sanitary laws That all doctors dwindle, starve, and die!

The laws, remodeled by Sir Bailey Barre, Have quite extinguished crime and litigation: The lawyers starve, and all the jails are let As model lodgings for the working-cla.s.ses!

In short--Utopia, swamped by dull Prosperity, Demands that these detested Flowers of Progress Be sent about their business, and affairs Restored to their original complexion!

King: (to Zara) My daughter, this is a very unpleasant state of things. What is to be done?

Zara: I don't know--I don't understand it. We must have omitted something.

King: Omitted something? Yes, that's all very well, but--- (Sir Bailey Barre whispers to Zara.)

Zara: (suddenly) Of course! Now I remember! Why, I had forgot- ten the most essential element of all!

King: And that is?---

Zara: Government by Party! Introduce that great and glorious element--at once the bulwark and foundation of England's greatness--and all will be well! No political measures will endure, because one Party will a.s.suredly undo all that the other Party has done; and while grouse is to be shot, and foxes worried to death, the legislative action of the coun- try will be at a standstill. Then there will be sickness in plenty, endless lawsuits, crowded jails, interminable confu- sion in the Army and Navy, and, in short, general and unex- ampled prosperity!

All: Ulahlica! Ulahlica!

Phantis: (aside) Baffled!

Scaphio: But an hour will come!

King: Your hour has come already--away with them, and let them wait my will! (Scaphio and Phantis are led off in custody.) From this moment Government by Party is adopted, with all its attendant blessings; and henceforward Utopia will no longer be a Monarchy Limited, but, what is a great deal better, a Limited Monarchy!

FINALE

Zara: There's a little group of isles beyond the wave-- So tiny, you might almost wonder where it is-- That nation is the bravest of the brave, And cowards are the rarest of all rarities.

The proudest nations kneel at her command; She terrifies all foreign-born rapscallions; And holds the peace of Europe in her hand With half a score invincible battalions!

Such, at least, is the tale Which is born on the gale, From the island which dwells in the sea.

Let us hope, for her sake That she makes no mistake-- That she's all the professes to be!

King: Oh, may we copy all her maxims wise, And imitate her virtues and her charities; And may we, by degrees, acclimatize Her Parliamentary peculiarities!

By doing so, we shall in course of time, Regenerate completely our entire land-- Great Britain is the monarchy sublime, To which some add (others do not) Ireland.

Such at least is the tale, etc.

CURTAIN.

THE YEOMEN OF THE GUARD

or

The Merryman and His Maid

Book by W.S. GILBERT

Music by ARTHUR SULLIVAN

First produced at the Savoy Theatre in London, England, on October 3, 1888.

THE YEOMEN OF THE GUARD DRAMATIS PERSONAE

SIR RICHARD CHOLMONDELEY [p.r.o.nounced Chum'lee]

(Lieutenant of the Tower) Baritone

COLONEL FAIRFAX (under sentence of death) Tenor

SERGEANT MERYLL (of the Yeomen of the Guard) Ba.s.s/Baritone

LEONARD MERYLL (his son) Tenor

JACK POINT (a Strolling Jester) Light Baritone

WILFRED SHADBOLT (Head Jailer and a.s.sistant Tormentor) Ba.s.s/Baritone

THE HEADSMAN Non-singing

FIRST YEOMAN Baritone

SECOND YEOMAN Tenor

THIRD YEOMAN [optional] Baritone

FOURTH YEOMAN [optional] Tenor

FIRST CITIZEN Chorus

SECOND CITIZEN Chorus

ELSIE MAYNARD (a Strolling Singer) Soprano

PHOEBE MERYLL (Sergeant Meryll's Daughter) Mezzo-Soprano