10/1/81.

At his fourth press conference, President Reagan denies that his Administration has a "millionaires on parade" style. As for the fancy new set of White House china, well, "Nancy's taken a bit of a b.u.m rap on that."

10/2/81.

At a White House briefing with Caspar Weinberger, President Reagan is asked how his MX missiles will be deployed. "I don't know but what maybe you haven't gotten into the area that I'm gonna turn over to the, heh heh, to the Secretary of Defense," he says sheepishly.

"The silos will be hardened," Weinberger says, then nods approvingly as Reagan ad-libs, "Yes, I could say this. The plan also includes the hardening of silos."

10/4/81.

The Cincinnati Reds end the strike-marred season with the best overall record in baseball. Unfortunately, they finish in second place in each half-season and fail to qualify for the play-offs.

10/5/81.

Newsweek publishes a written interview with John W. Hinckley Jr. "In closing," he writes, "I would like to say h.e.l.lo to Ms. Foster and ask her one small question: Will you marry me, Jodie?" Meanwhile, publishes a written interview with John W. Hinckley Jr. "In closing," he writes, "I would like to say h.e.l.lo to Ms. Foster and ask her one small question: Will you marry me, Jodie?" Meanwhile, Time Time publishes a letter in which the would-be a.s.sa.s.sin finally explains his fondness for the actress. "From head to toe, every square inch of Jodie is what attracts me," he writes. "Jodie's got the look I crave. What else can I say?" publishes a letter in which the would-be a.s.sa.s.sin finally explains his fondness for the actress. "From head to toe, every square inch of Jodie is what attracts me," he writes. "Jodie's got the look I crave. What else can I say?"

10/6/81.

Hours after Egyptian president Anwar Sadat is shot to death, Hollywood producers Sandy Frank and David Levy who have long wanted to make a TV movie about him alert the media that they are stepping up their efforts. "Now the story has a definite ending," says Levy. "The lack of an ending was what was stopping it from being made."

10/15/81.

During a White House interview with Nancy Reagan, Andy Warhol says he "always thought they should have a lottery where they invite one family to dinner every night because it's so exciting to be here."

Says the First Lady, "There are tours, of course, Andy."

10/19/81.

California State Senator John Schmitz tells an interviewer that if Reagan's policies fail, "the best we could probably hope for is a military coup or something like that." He explains that he is talking about "a good military coup, not a bad military coup."

10/22/81.

"Now, that's silly. I'd never wear a crown. It messes up your hair."

--Nancy Reagan citing a popular postcard portraying her as a queen, hoping that if she makes fun of herself, everyone else will stop 10/23/81.

The national debt hits $1 trillion. (67 miles of $1,000 bills!) 10/25/81.

Following his team's loss to the Dodgers in the fifth game of the World Series, Yankee owner George Steinbrenner gets into a fight on his Los Angeles hotel elevator with two unidentified men who make derogatory comments about the "animals" who live in New York and the "choke-a.s.ses" who play for his team. Though he claims to have "clocked" his taunters, his own souvenirs of the encounter include a swollen lip, a bruised head and a cast on his broken left hand. The Yankees go on to lose the Series.

NOVEMBER 1981.

11/10/81.

President Reagan elicits hoots of laughter at his fifth press conference when he says of his constantly feuding aides, "There is no bickering or backstabbing going on. We're a very happy group." As he leaves, Lesley Stahl holds up a copy of the just-out Atlantic Monthly Atlantic Monthly featuring William Greider's article "The Education of David Stockman," in which the chatty Budget Director: featuring William Greider's article "The Education of David Stockman," in which the chatty Budget Director: *Admits, "None of us really understands what's going on with all these numbers"

*Acknowledges that supply-side economics "was always a Trojan horse to bring down the top rate"

*Says of the Reagan tax bill, "Do you realize the greed that came to the forefront? The hogs were really feeding."

Was the President aware of this article? He was not.

11/12/81.

"My visit to the Oval Office for lunch with the President was more in the nature of a visit to the woodshed after supper ... He was not happy about the way this has developed and properly so."

--David Stockman describing his crow-eating lunch with President Reagan, who blames the whole flap on the media 11/13/81.

"This house belongs to all Americans, and I want it to be something of which they can be proud."

--Nancy Reagan showing off her $1 million White House redecoration funded by tax-deductible donations to Architectural Digest Architectural Digest, which is then forbidden to release any of its photos to the general news media 11/13/81.

The White House announces that the Justice Department is investigating a $1,000 payment given to National Security Adviser Richard Allen by a j.a.panese magazine after he helped arrange a brief post-inaugural interview with Nancy Reagan. "I didn't accept it. I received it," says Allen, who explains that "it would have been an embarra.s.sment" to the j.a.panese to have returned the money.

11/13/81.

"When I hear people talking about money, it's usually people who don't have any."

--GOP finance chairman Richard DeVos, dismissing charges that Reagan economic policies are unfair 11/17/81.

"It's impossible / Making love in a Toyota / It's impossible."

--Robert Goulet, apparently mistaking the White House for a Vegas nightclub while performing at a state dinner for the president of Venezuela 11/18/81.

President Reagan receives the annual White House turkey, which upstages him by squawking and flapping its wings madly. Not to be outdone, the President recalls a Thanksgiving long ago when he was carving a turkey, noticed what seemed to be blood oozing from it, a.s.sumed the bird was undercooked, then realized he had sliced open his thumb. Everyone laughs and laughs.

11/20/81.

Washington Post columnist Judy Mann writes that Nancy Reagan, who is "in the position to champion causes that will improve the quality of life for Americans," has so far merely "used the position to improve the quality of life for those in the White House." The First Lady is said to find this criticism more upsetting than any since 1980 when, according to an aide, an article referring to her "piano" legs caused her to go "into a sort of coma for three days." columnist Judy Mann writes that Nancy Reagan, who is "in the position to champion causes that will improve the quality of life for Americans," has so far merely "used the position to improve the quality of life for those in the White House." The First Lady is said to find this criticism more upsetting than any since 1980 when, according to an aide, an article referring to her "piano" legs caused her to go "into a sort of coma for three days."

11/20/81.

Secretary of State Alexander Haig wins the 1981 Double-speak Award given by the National Council of Teachers of English. Among the statements and phrases cited: "I'll have to caveat my response, Senator," "careful caution," "saddle myself with a statistical fence," "post-hostage-return att.i.tude," "nuance-al differences," "epistemologicallywise," "definitizing an answer," and "This is not an experience I haven't been through before."

11/23/81.

President Reagan vetoes a stopgap spending bill, thus forcing the federal government for the first time in history to temporarily shut down. Says House Speaker Tip O'Neill, "He knows less about the budget than any president in my lifetime. He can't even carry on a conversation about the budget. It's an absolute and utter disgrace."

11/27/81.

ABC's Barbara Walters asks President Reagan what adjectives he would use to describe himself? "Soft touch, I really am ... sometimes I'm stubborn, I hope not unnecessarily so, but ... [long pause] ... I ... I can't answer that question, I wouldn't know how to do it." He is, however, able to describe his academic record: "I never knew anything above Cs."

11/29/81.

Actress Natalie Wood, 43, who has suffered from an intense fear of drowning since childhood, slips off a yacht anch.o.r.ed near California's Catalina Island. Though she screams for help for at least fifteen minutes, her husband Robert Wagner and friend Christopher Walken, both of them on her yacht, don't hear her, and the people on nearby yachts who can hear her don't help her, and her worst fear is realized.

11/29/81.

Nancy Reagan, irate about being dragged into the Richard Allen scandalette, convinces James Baker and Michael Deaver that the tainted official must be removed. Allen takes a leave of absence while the investigation continues. "I fully expect to resume my duties," he says, embarking on a doomed attempt to save himself by going on TV and taking his case directly to the people, who couldn't care less who the National Security Adviser is as long as they're not required to know his name. Despite ultimately being exonerated of any law-breaking, he is gone in a month. The President hails his integrity, then names noted foreign policy non-expert William Clark to succeed him.

11/29/81.

Social secretary m.u.f.fie Brandon reveals that the White House is experiencing "a terrible tablecloth crisis." Says Brandon, "One set of tablecloths, to my complete and utter horror, went out to the dry cleaner and shrunk."

11/30/81.

"I don't think that we have a crisis here. I think we'll manage. I don't see this as a frightening thing."

--Sheila Tate, Nancy Reagan's press secretary, downplaying the tablecloth alarm 11/30/81.

President Reagan tells a $2,500-per-ticket GOP fundraiser in Cincinnati about a letter he allegedly received from a blind supporter. "He wrote in Braille," the President claims, "to tell me that if cutting his pension would help get this country back on its feet, he'd like to have me cut his pension." The altruistic soul's ident.i.ty is never revealed, leaving whoever is so inclined free to believe the story was made up.

DECEMBER 1981.

12/2/81.

Following a four-month investigation into William Casey's business dealings, the Senate Intelligence Committee gives the CIA Director the rousing endors.e.m.e.nt of being not "unfit to serve."

12/5/81.

New York Times: REAGAN WIDENS INTELLIGENCE ROLE; GIVES C.I.A. DOMESTIC SPY POWER 12/8/81.

Joking about Muammar Qaddafi's alleged threats to have him a.s.sa.s.sinated, President Reagan ends a budget meeting by turning to his Vice President and saying, "Hey, by the way, George, I don't know how you feel about it, but I think I'll just call Qaddafi and meet him out there on the Mall." Everyone laughs and laughs.

12/14/81.

A Newsweek Newsweek poll shows that 62% of the American people feel that Nancy Reagan "puts too much emphasis on style and elegance" during hard times, with 61% thinking her "less sympathetic to the problems of the poor and underprivileged" than her predecessors. poll shows that 62% of the American people feel that Nancy Reagan "puts too much emphasis on style and elegance" during hard times, with 61% thinking her "less sympathetic to the problems of the poor and underprivileged" than her predecessors.

12/16/81.

Asked by a TV news crew about possible irregularities in his relations with the Nixon White House, Chief Justice Warren Burger lunges forward and knocks the camera to the ground. He later claims he was provoked when the lens "hit me in the chin," though videotape of the incident shows that the equipment never touched him.

12/17/81.

At his sixth press conference, President Reagan is asked if he agrees with his Justice Department's efforts to overturn the Supreme Court's Webber Webber ruling, which allows unions and management to enter into voluntary affirmative action agreements. The President says he "can't bring that to mind as to what it pertains to and what it calls for." When a reporter explains it to him, he says he supports the decision, though White House aides later say he thinks it should be overturned. ruling, which allows unions and management to enter into voluntary affirmative action agreements. The President says he "can't bring that to mind as to what it pertains to and what it calls for." When a reporter explains it to him, he says he supports the decision, though White House aides later say he thinks it should be overturned.

12/20/81.

White House PR guru Michael Deaver says he can't get by on his $60,000 government salary.

12/20/81.

New York Times: REAGAN OFFICIALS SEEK TO EASE RULES ON NURSING HOMES / PROPOSALS INCLUDE REPEAL OF REGULATIONS ON SANITATION, SAFETY AND CONTAGION 12/20/81.

On 60 Minutes 60 Minutes, Mike Wallace asks his longtime friend Nancy Reagan about her image as someone who, despite "the requisite visit to the drug rehabilitation center" or "the requisite amount of time ... spent on foster grandparents," really only cares about "style and fashion and her rich friends."

"Well, it's not true, of course," she says. "It's just it's just not true." Mike does not press the point.

12/22/81.

As Christmas approaches, President Reagan authorizes the distribution of 30 million pounds of surplus cheese to the poor. According to a government official, the cheese is well over a year old and has reached "critical inventory situation." Translation: it's moldy.

12/23/81.

Asked to comment on his wife's unusually high disapproval rating, President Reagan says, "I just heard earlier today and maybe Larry can tell me if this is true I just heard that some poll or something has revealed that she's the most popular woman in the world."

White House spokesman Larry Speakes says he has seen no such poll. "I tell you," says the President, "if it isn't true, it should be. I'm on her side."

12/27/81.

Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist who has, for several months, been taking substantial doses of Placidyl to relieve intense back pain checks into George Washington Hospital for treatment of side effects, including speech so severely slurred that he was frequently incoherent in court and, according to a hospital spokesman, "hearing things and seeing things that other people did not hear and see."

12/29/81.

Special prosecutor Leon Silverman begins an investigation into allegations that Labor Secretary Raymond Donovan received a union payoff by his former New Jersey construction firm. "I have paid a large entrance fee to this city," says Donovan, rejecting demands for his resignation, "and I intend to stay for the double feature."

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JANUARY 1982.

1/8/82.

The White House announces that President Reagan who often wonders why people think he's anti-civil rights has signed off on Ed Meese's plan to grant tax-exempt status to South Carolina's Bob Jones University and other schools that practice racial discrimination.

1/12/82.

President Reagan explains that there must have been some kind of "misunderstanding" regarding his efforts to grant tax exemptions to segregated schools, since he is "unalterably opposed to racial discrimination in any form."

1/14/82.

President Reagan tells a business luncheon in New York about a Ma.s.sachusetts resident in his 80s who supposedly sent in his Social Security check "to be used for reducing the national debt." As usual, no proof is offered.

1/15/82.

President Reagan phones The Washington Post The Washington Post to explain that when his new policy toward segregated schools was announced, he "didn't know at the time that there was a legal case pending." CBS quickly obtains a memo in which intervention in the Bob Jones University case was specifically requested, and on which Reagan had written, "I think we should." to explain that when his new policy toward segregated schools was announced, he "didn't know at the time that there was a legal case pending." CBS quickly obtains a memo in which intervention in the Bob Jones University case was specifically requested, and on which Reagan had written, "I think we should."

1/15/82.

Press secretary Sheila Tate says that Nancy Reagan "has derived no personal benefit" from her acceptance of thousands of dollars worth of clothing from American designers, explaining that the First Lady's sole motive is to help the national fashion industry. So, getting fabulous clothes for free should not be considered a "personal benefit."

1/18/82.

Following his testimony for the defense at the murder trial of Jack Henry Abbott, Norman Mailer is asked what would happen if Abbott got out of jail and committed yet another murder. "Culture is worth a little risk," he replies. "I am willing to gamble with certain elements in society to save this man's talent."

1/19/82.