[_Bawling in his Ear._

_Don Scipio._ I mean as to the hearing.

[_Very loud._

_Don Juan._ Ay, I find it's very bad with you. [_Bawling._] Zounds, I shall roar myself as hoa.r.s.e as a raven!

_Don Scipio._ Ah, my lungs can't hold out a conversation--I must speak by signs.

[_Motions to drink._

_Don Juan._ What now, are you dumb too?

_Enter VASQUEZ. Whispers SCIPIO._

_Don Scipio._ Oh, you may speak out, n.o.body can hear but me.

_Don Juan._ [_To VASQUEZ._] Pray, is this crazy fool, your master here, going to be married?

_Don Scipio._ What!

[_Surprised._

_Vas._ [_To SCIPIO._] Don Fernando would speak to you, sir.

[_Exit VASQUEZ._

_Don Scipio._ I wish he'd come here and speak to this old blockhead, his father.--[_Takes his Hand._]--Don Juan, you are welcome to my house--but I wish you had stayed at home.

_Don Juan._ I am much obliged to you.

_Don Scipio._ You will soon see your son--as great an a.s.s as yourself.

_Don Juan._ An a.s.s! you shall find me a tiger, you old whelp!

_Don Scipio._ Why, zounds! you're not deaf!

_Don Juan._ A mad--ridiculous!--

_Enter FERNANDO and VICTORIA._

Fernando! hey, boy, what the devil dress is this?

_Don Fer._ My father--Sir--I--I--

_Don Scipio_. [_To VICTORIA._] What are you doing with that fellow?

_Vict._ Your pardon, dearest father, when I own that he is now my husband.

_Don Scipio._ Eh! eh! By this ruin, this eternal disgrace upon my house, am I punished for my unjust severity to my poor son, Don Caesar--married to that rascal!

_Don Juan._ Call my son a rascal!

_Don Scipio._ Zounds, man! who's thinking of your son? But this fellow to marry the girl, and disgrace my family!

_Don Juan._ Disgrace! He has honoured your family, you crack-brained old fool!

_Don Scipio._ A footman honour my family, you superannuated, deaf old idiot!

_Enter DAME ISABELLA._

Oh, Dame, fine doings! Pedrillo here has married my daughter.

_Don Juan._ But why this disguise?--what is all this about? tell me, Fernando.

_Isab._ What, is this really Don Fernando?

_Don Scipio._ Do you say so, Don Juan?

_Don Juan._ To be sure.

_Don Scipio._ Hey! then, Dame, your daughter is left to the valet--no fault of mine, though.

_Isab._ What a vile contrivance!

_Don Fer._ No, madam, yours was the contrivance, which love and accident have counteracted, in justice to this injured lady.

_Isab._ Oh, that villain Spado!

_Don Juan._ Spado? why that's the villain told me you were deaf.

_Don Scipio._ Why, he made me believe you could not hear a word.

_Isab._ And led me into this unlucky error.

[_Exit ISABELLA._

_Don Juan._ Oh, what a lying scoundrel!

_Enter SPADO, behind._

_Spado._ I wonder how my work goes on here!--[_Roars in DON JUAN's Ear._]

I give you joy, sir.

_Don Juan._ I'll give you sorrow, you rascal!

[_Beats him._

_Don Scipio._ I'll have you hang'd, you villain!