LXVII.

DIALOGUE CONCERNING CATULLUS AT A HARLOT'S DOOR.

_Quintus_.

O to the gentle spouse right dear, right dear to his parent, Hail, and with increase fair Jupiter lend thee his aid, Door, 'tis said wast fain kind service render to Balbus Erst while, long as the house by her old owner was held; Yet wast rumoured again to serve a purpose malignant, 5 After the elder was stretched, thou being oped for a bride.

Come, then, tell us the why in thee such change be reported That to thy lord hast abjured faithfulness owed of old?

_Door_.

Never (so chance I to please Caecilius owning me now-a-days!) Is it my own default, how so they say it be mine; 10 Nor can any declare aught sin by me was committed.

Yet it is so declared (Quintus!) by fable of folk; Who, whenever they find things done no better than should be, Come to me outcrying all:--"Door, the default is thine own!"

_Quintus_.

This be never enough for thee one-worded to utter, 15 But in such way to deal, each and all sense it and see.

_Door_.

What shall I do? None asks, while n.o.body troubles to know.

_Quintus_.

Willing are we? unto us stay not thy saying to say.

_Door_.

First let me note that the maid to us committed (a.s.sert they) Was but a fraud: her mate never a touch of her had, 20 * * * *

But that a father durst dishonour the bed of his firstborn, Folk all swear, and the house hapless with incest bewray; Or that his impious mind was blunt with fiery pa.s.sion 25 Or that his impotent son sprang from incapable seed.

And to be sought was one with nerve more nervous endowed, Who could better avail zone of the virgin to loose.

_Quintus_.

'Sooth, of egregious sire for piety wondrous, thou tellest, Who in the heart of his son lief was ----! 30 Yet professed herself not only this to be knowing, Brixia-town that lies under the Cycnean cliff, Traversed by Mella-stream's soft-flowing yellow-hued current, Brixia, Verona's mother, I love for my home.

_Door_.

Eke of Posthumius' loves and Cornelius too there be tattle, 35 With whom dared the dame evil advowtry commit.

_Quintus_.

Here might somebody ask:--"How, Door, hast mastered such matter?

Thou that canst never avail threshold of owner to quit, Neither canst listen to folk since here fast fixt to the side-posts Only one office thou hast, shutting or opening the house." 40

_Door_.

Oft have I heard our dame in furtive murmurs o'er telling, When with her handmaids alone, these her flagitious deeds, Citing fore-cited names for that she never could fancy Ever a Door was endow'd either with earlet or tongue.

Further she noted a wight whose name in public to mention 45 Nill I, lest he upraise eyebrows of carroty hue; Long is the loon and large the law-suit brought they against him Touching a child-bed false, claim of a belly that lied.

_Catullus_.

O dear in thought to the sweet husband, dear in thought to his sire, hail!

and may Jove augment his good grace to thee, Door! which of old, men say, didst serve Balbus benignly, whilst the oldster held his home here; and which contrariwise, so 'tis said, didst serve with grudging service after the old man was stretched stark, thou doing service to the bride. Come, tell us why thou art reported to be changed and to have renounced thine ancient faithfulness to thy lord?

_Door_.

No, (so may I please Caecilius to whom I am now made over!) it is not my fault, although 'tis said so to be, nor may anyone impute any crime to me; albeit the fabling tongues of folk make it so, who, whene'er aught is found not well done, all clamour at me: "Door, thine is the blame!"

_Catullus_.

It is not enough for thee to say this by words merely, but so to act that everyone may feel it and see it.

_Door_.

In what way can I? No one questions or troubles to know.

_Catullus_.

We are wishful: be not doubtful to tell us.

_Door_.

First then, the virgin (so they called her!) who was handed to us was spurious. Her husband was not the first to touch her, he whose little dagger, hanging more limply than the tender beet, never raised itself to the middle of his tunic: but his father is said to have violated his son's bed and to have polluted the unhappy house, either because his lewd mind blazed with blind l.u.s.t, or because his impotent son was sprung from sterile seed, and therefore one greater of nerve than he was needed, who could unloose the virgin's zone.

_Catullus_.

Thou tellest of an excellent parent marvellous in piety, who himself urined in the womb of his son!

_Door_.

But not this alone is Brixia said to have knowledge of, placed 'neath the Cycnean peak, through which the golden-hued Mella flows with its gentle current, Brixia, beloved mother of my Verona. For it talks of the loves of Postumius and of Cornelius, with whom she committed foul adultery.

_Catullus_.

Folk might say here: "How knowest thou these things, O door? thou who art never allowed absence from thy lord's threshold, nor mayst hear the folk's gossip, but fixed to this beam art wont only to open or to shut the house!"

_Door_.

Often have I heard her talking with hushed voice, when alone with her handmaids, about her iniquities, quoting by name those whom we have spoken of, for she did not expect me to be gifted with either tongue or ear.

Moreover she added a certain one whose name I'm unwilling to speak, lest he uplift his red eyebrows. A lanky fellow, against whom some time ago was brought a grave law-suit anent the spurious child-birth of a lying belly.

LXVIII.

Quod mihi fortuna casuque oppressus acerbo Conscriptum hoc lacrimis mittis epistolium, Naufragum ut eiectum spumantibus aequoris undis Sublevem et a mortis limine rest.i.tuam, Quem neque sancta Venus molli requiescere somno 5 Desertum in lecto caelibe perpet.i.tur, Nec veterum dulci scriptorum carmine Musae Oblectant, c.u.m mens anxia pervigilat, Id gratumst mihi, me quoniam tibi dicis amic.u.m, Muneraque et Musarum hinc petis et Veneris: 10 Sed tibi ne mea sint ignota incommoda, Mani, Neu me odisse putes hospitis officium, Accipe, quis merser fortunae fluctibus ipse, Ne amplius a misero dona beata petas.

Tempore quo primum vestis mihi tradita purast, 15 Iocundum c.u.m aetas florida ver ageret, Multa satis lusi: non est dea nescia nostri, Quae dulcem curis miscet amaritiem: Sed totum hoc studium luctu fraterna mihi mors Abstulit. o misero frater adempte mihi, 20 Tu mea tu moriens fregisti commoda, frater, Tec.u.m una totast nostra sepulta domus, Omnia tec.u.m una perierunt gaudia nostra, Quae tuos in vita dulcis alebat amor.

Cuius ego interitu tota de mente fugavi 25 Haec studia atque omnis delicias animi.

Quare, quod scribis Veronae turpe Catullo Esse, quod hic quivis de meliore nota Frigida deserto tepefactet membra cubili, Id, Mani, non est turpe, magis miserumst. 30 Ignosces igitur, si, quae mihi luctus ademit, Haec tibi non tribuo munera, c.u.m nequeo.