The Canterbury Tales, and Other Poems - Part 27
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Part 27

She is honour'd *over all where* she go'th, *wheresoever I sit at home, I have no *thrifty cloth.* *good clothes*

What dost thou at my neigheboure's house?

Is she so fair? art thou so amorous?

What rown'st* thou with our maid? benedicite, *whisperest Sir olde lechour, let thy j.a.pes* be. *tricks And if I have a gossip, or a friend (Withoute guilt), thou chidest as a fiend, If that I walk or play unto his house.

Thou comest home as drunken as a mouse, And preachest on thy bench, with evil prefe:* *proof Thou say'st to me, it is a great mischief To wed a poore woman, for costage:* *expense And if that she be rich, of high parage;* * birth <11> Then say'st thou, that it is a tormentry To suffer her pride and melancholy.

And if that she be fair, thou very knave, Thou say'st that every holour* will her have; *wh.o.r.emonger She may no while in chast.i.ty abide, That is a.s.sailed upon every side.

Thou say'st some folk desire us for richess, Some for our shape, and some for our fairness, And some, for she can either sing or dance, And some for gentiless and dalliance, Some for her handes and her armes smale: Thus goes all to the devil, by thy tale; Thou say'st, men may not keep a castle wall That may be so a.s.sailed *over all.* *everywhere*

And if that she be foul, thou say'st that she Coveteth every man that she may see; For as a spaniel she will on him leap, Till she may finde some man her to cheap;* *buy And none so grey goose goes there in the lake, (So say'st thou) that will be without a make.* *mate And say'st, it is a hard thing for to weld *wield, govern A thing that no man will, *his thankes, held.* *hold with his goodwill*

Thus say'st thou, lorel,* when thou go'st to bed, *good-for-nothing And that no wise man needeth for to wed, Nor no man that intendeth unto heaven.

With wilde thunder dint* and fiery leven** * stroke **lightning Mote* thy wicked necke be to-broke. *may Thou say'st, that dropping houses, and eke smoke, And chiding wives, make men to flee Out of their owne house; ah! ben'dicite, What aileth such an old man for to chide?

Thou say'st, we wives will our vices hide, Till we be fast,* and then we will them shew. *wedded Well may that be a proverb of a shrew.* *ill-tempered wretch Thou say'st, that oxen, a.s.ses, horses, hounds, They be *a.s.sayed at diverse stounds,* *tested at various Basons and lavers, ere that men them buy, seasons Spoones, stooles, and all such husbandry, And so be pots, and clothes, and array,* *raiment But folk of wives make none a.s.say, Till they be wedded, -- olde dotard shrew! -- And then, say'st thou, we will our vices shew.

Thou say'st also, that it displeaseth me, But if * that thou wilt praise my beauty, *unless And but* thou pore alway upon my face, *unless And call me faire dame in every place; And but* thou make a feast on thilke** day *unless **that That I was born, and make me fresh and gay; And but thou do to my norice* honour, *nurse <12> And to my chamberere* within my bow'r, *chamber-maid And to my father's folk, and mine allies;* *relations Thus sayest thou, old barrel full of lies.

And yet also of our prentice Jenkin, For his crisp hair, shining as gold so fine, And for he squireth me both up and down, Yet hast thou caught a false suspicioun: I will him not, though thou wert dead to-morrow.

But tell me this, why hidest thou, *with sorrow,* *sorrow on thee!*

The keyes of thy chest away from me?

It is my good* as well as thine, pardie. *property What, think'st to make an idiot of our dame?

Now, by that lord that called is Saint Jame, Thou shalt not both, although that thou wert wood,* *furious Be master of my body, and my good,* *property The one thou shalt forego, maugre* thine eyen. *in spite of What helpeth it of me t'inquire and spyen?

I trow thou wouldest lock me in thy chest.

Thou shouldest say, 'Fair wife, go where thee lest; Take your disport; I will believe no tales; I know you for a true wife, Dame Ales.'* *Alice We love no man, that taketh keep* or charge *care Where that we go; we will be at our large.

Of alle men most blessed may he be, The wise astrologer Dan* Ptolemy, *Lord That saith this proverb in his Almagest:<13> 'Of alle men his wisdom is highest, That recketh not who hath the world in hand.

By this proverb thou shalt well understand, Have thou enough, what thar* thee reck or care *needs, behoves How merrily that other folkes fare?

For certes, olde dotard, by your leave, Ye shall have [pleasure] <14> right enough at eve.

He is too great a n.i.g.g.ard that will werne* *forbid A man to light a candle at his lantern; He shall have never the less light, pardie.

Have thou enough, thee thar* not plaine** thee *need **complain Thou say'st also, if that we make us gay With clothing and with precious array, That it is peril of our chast.i.ty.

And yet, -- with sorrow! -- thou enforcest thee, And say'st these words in the apostle's name: 'In habit made with chast.i.ty and shame* *modesty Ye women shall apparel you,' quoth he,<15> 'And not in tressed hair and gay perrie,* *jewels As pearles, nor with gold, nor clothes rich.'

After thy text nor after thy rubrich I will not work as muchel as a gnat.

Thou say'st also, I walk out like a cat; For whoso woulde singe the catte's skin Then will the catte well dwell in her inn;* *house And if the catte's skin be sleek and gay, She will not dwell in house half a day, But forth she will, ere any day be daw'd, To shew her skin, and go a caterwaw'd.* *caterwauling This is to say, if I be gay, sir shrew, I will run out, my borel* for to shew. *apparel, fine clothes Sir olde fool, what helpeth thee to spyen?

Though thou pray Argus with his hundred eyen To be my wardecorps,* as he can best *body-guard In faith he shall not keep me, *but me lest:* *unless I please*

Yet could I *make his beard,* so may I the. *make a jest of him*

"Thou sayest eke, that there be thinges three, *thrive Which thinges greatly trouble all this earth, And that no wighte may endure the ferth:* *fourth O lefe* sir shrew, may Jesus short** thy life. *pleasant **shorten Yet preachest thou, and say'st, a hateful wife Y-reckon'd is for one of these mischances.

Be there *none other manner resemblances* *no other kind of That ye may liken your parables unto, comparison*

But if a silly wife be one of tho?* *those Thou likenest a woman's love to h.e.l.l; To barren land where water may not dwell.

Thou likenest it also to wild fire; The more it burns, the more it hath desire To consume every thing that burnt will be.

Thou sayest, right as wormes shend* a tree, *destroy Right so a wife destroyeth her husbond; This know they well that be to wives bond."

Lordings, right thus, as ye have understand, *Bare I stiffly mine old husbands on hand,* *made them believe*

That thus they saiden in their drunkenness; And all was false, but that I took witness On Jenkin, and upon my niece also.

O Lord! the pain I did them, and the woe, 'Full guilteless, by G.o.dde's sweete pine;* *pain For as a horse I coulde bite and whine; I coulde plain,* an'** I was in the guilt, *complain **even though Or elles oftentime I had been spilt* *ruined Whoso first cometh to the nilll, first grint;* *is ground I plained first, so was our war y-stint.* *stopped They were full glad to excuse them full blive* *quickly Of things that they never *aguilt their live.* *were guilty in their lives*

Of wenches would I *beare them on hand,* *falsely accuse them*

When that for sickness scarcely might they stand, Yet tickled I his hearte for that he Ween'd* that I had of him so great cherte:** *though **affection<16> I swore that all my walking out by night Was for to espy wenches that he dight:* *adorned Under that colour had I many a mirth.

For all such wit is given us at birth; Deceit, weeping, and spinning, G.o.d doth give To women kindly, while that they may live. *naturally And thus of one thing I may vaunte me, At th' end I had the better in each degree, By sleight, or force, or by some manner thing, As by continual murmur or grudging,* *complaining Namely* a-bed, there hadde they mischance, *especially There would I chide, and do them no pleasance: I would no longer in the bed abide, If that I felt his arm over my side, Till he had made his ransom unto me, Then would I suffer him do his nicety.* *folly <17> And therefore every man this tale I tell, Win whoso may, for all is for to sell; With empty hand men may no hawkes lure; For winning would I all his will endure, And make me a feigned appet.i.te, And yet in bacon* had I never delight: *i.e. of Dunmow <9> That made me that I ever would them chide.

For, though the Pope had sitten them beside, I would not spare them at their owen board, For, by my troth, I quit* them word for word *repaid As help me very G.o.d omnipotent, Though I right now should make my testament I owe them not a word, that is not quit* *repaid I brought it so aboute by my wit, That they must give it up, as for the best Or elles had we never been in rest.

For, though he looked as a wood* lion, *furious Yet should he fail of his conclusion.

Then would I say, "Now, goode lefe* tak keep** *dear **heed How meekly looketh Wilken oure sheep!

Come near, my spouse, and let me ba* thy cheek *kiss <18> Ye shoulde be all patient and meek, And have a *sweet y-spiced* conscience, *tender, nice*

Since ye so preach of Jobe's patience.

Suffer alway, since ye so well can preach, And but* ye do, certain we shall you teach* *unless That it is fair to have a wife in peace.

One of us two must bowe* doubteless: *give way And since a man is more reasonable Than woman is, ye must be suff'rable.

What aileth you to grudge* thus and groan? *complain Is it for ye would have my [love] <14> alone?

Why, take it all: lo, have it every deal,* *whit Peter! <19> shrew* you but ye love it well *curse For if I woulde sell my *belle chose*, *beautiful thing*

I coulde walk as fresh as is a rose, But I will keep it for your owen tooth.

Ye be to blame, by G.o.d, I say you sooth."

Such manner wordes hadde we on hand.

Now will I speaken of my fourth husband.

My fourthe husband was a revellour; This is to say, he had a paramour, And I was young and full of ragerie,* *wantonness Stubborn and strong, and jolly as a pie.* *magpie Then could I dance to a harpe smale, And sing, y-wis,* as any nightingale, *certainly When I had drunk a draught of sweete wine.

Metellius, the foule churl, the swine, That with a staff bereft his wife of life For she drank wine, though I had been his wife, Never should he have daunted me from drink: And, after wine, of Venus most I think.

For all so sure as cold engenders hail, A liquorish mouth must have a liquorish tail.

In woman vinolent* is no defence,** *full of wine *resistance This knowe lechours by experience.

But, lord Christ, when that it rememb'reth me Upon my youth, and on my jollity, It tickleth me about mine hearte-root; Unto this day it doth mine hearte boot,* *good That I have had my world as in my time.

But age, alas! that all will envenime,* *poison, embitter Hath me bereft my beauty and my pith:* *vigour Let go; farewell; the devil go therewith.

The flour is gon, there is no more to tell, The bran, as I best may, now must I sell.

But yet to be right merry will I fand.* *try Now forth to tell you of my fourth husband, I say, I in my heart had great despite, That he of any other had delight; But he was quit,* by G.o.d and by Saint Joce:<21> *requited, paid back I made for him of the same wood a cross; Not of my body in no foul mannere, But certainly I made folk such cheer, That in his owen grease I made him fry For anger, and for very jealousy.

By G.o.d, in earth I was his purgatory, For which I hope his soul may be in glory.

For, G.o.d it wot, he sat full oft and sung, When that his shoe full bitterly him wrung.* *pinched There was no wight, save G.o.d and he, that wist In many wise how sore I did him twist.<20> He died when I came from Jerusalem, And lies in grave under the *roode beam:* *cross*

Although his tomb is not so curious As was the sepulchre of Darius, Which that Apelles wrought so subtlely.

It is but waste to bury them preciously.

Let him fare well, G.o.d give his soule rest, He is now in his grave and in his chest.

Now of my fifthe husband will I tell: G.o.d let his soul never come into h.e.l.l.

And yet was he to me the moste shrew;* *cruel, ill-tempered That feel I on my ribbes all *by rew,* *in a row And ever shall, until mine ending day.

But in our bed he was so fresh and gay, And therewithal so well he could me glose,* *flatter When that he woulde have my belle chose, Though he had beaten me on every bone, Yet could he win again my love anon.

I trow, I lov'd him better, for that he Was of his love so dangerous* to me. *sparing, difficult We women have, if that I shall not lie, In this matter a quainte fantasy.

Whatever thing we may not lightly have, Thereafter will we cry all day and crave.

Forbid us thing, and that desire we; Press on us fast, and thenne will we flee.

With danger* utter we all our chaffare;** *difficulty **merchandise Great press at market maketh deare ware, And too great cheap is held at little price; This knoweth every woman that is wise.

My fifthe husband, G.o.d his soule bless, Which that I took for love and no richess, He some time was *a clerk of Oxenford,* *a scholar of Oxford*

And had left school, and went at home to board With my gossip,* dwelling in oure town: *G.o.dmother G.o.d have her soul, her name was Alisoun.

She knew my heart, and all my privity, Bet than our parish priest, so may I the.* *thrive To her betrayed I my counsel all; For had my husband p.i.s.sed on a wall, Or done a thing that should have cost his life, To her, and to another worthy wife, And to my niece, which that I loved well, I would have told his counsel every deal.* *jot And so I did full often, G.o.d it wot, That made his face full often red and hot For very shame, and blam'd himself, for he Had told to me so great a privity.* *secret And so befell that ones in a Lent (So oftentimes I to my gossip went, For ever yet I loved to be gay, And for to walk in March, April, and May From house to house, to heare sundry tales), That Jenkin clerk, and my gossip, Dame Ales, And I myself, into the fieldes went.

Mine husband was at London all that Lent; I had the better leisure for to play, And for to see, and eke for to be sey* *seen Of l.u.s.ty folk; what wist I where my grace* *favour Was shapen for to be, or in what place? *appointed Therefore made I my visitations To vigilies,* and to processions, *festival-eves<22> To preachings eke, and to these pilgrimages, To plays of miracles, and marriages, And weared upon me gay scarlet gites.* *gowns These wormes, nor these mothes, nor these mites On my apparel frett* them never a deal** *fed **whit And know'st thou why? for they were used* well. *worn Now will I telle forth what happen'd me: I say, that in the fieldes walked we, Till truely we had such dalliance, This clerk and I, that of my purveyance* *foresight I spake to him, and told him how that he, If I were widow, shoulde wedde me.

For certainly, I say for no bobance,* *boasting<23> Yet was I never without purveyance* *foresight Of marriage, nor of other thinges eke: I hold a mouse's wit not worth a leek, That hath but one hole for to starte* to,<24> *escape And if that faile, then is all y-do.* *done [*I bare him on hand* he had enchanted me *falsely a.s.sured him*

(My dame taughte me that subtilty); And eke I said, I mette* of him all night, *dreamed He would have slain me, as I lay upright, And all my bed was full of very blood; But yet I hop'd that he should do me good; For blood betoken'd gold, as me was taught.

And all was false, I dream'd of him right naught, But as I follow'd aye my dame's lore, As well of that as of other things more.] <25> But now, sir, let me see, what shall I sayn?

Aha! by G.o.d, I have my tale again.

When that my fourthe husband was on bier, I wept algate* and made a sorry cheer,** *always **countenance As wives must, for it is the usage; And with my kerchief covered my visage; But, for I was provided with a make,* *mate I wept but little, that I undertake* *promise To churche was mine husband borne a-morrow With neighebours that for him made sorrow, And Jenkin, oure clerk, was one of tho:* *those As help me G.o.d, when that I saw him go After the bier, methought he had a pair Of legges and of feet so clean and fair, That all my heart I gave unto his hold.* *keeping He was, I trow, a twenty winter old, And I was forty, if I shall say sooth, But yet I had always a colte's tooth.

Gat-toothed* I was, and that became me well, *see note <26> I had the print of Sainte Venus' seal.

[As help me G.o.d, I was a l.u.s.ty one, And fair, and rich, and young, and *well begone:* *in a good way*

For certes I am all venerian* *under the influence of Venus In feeling, and my heart is martian;* *under the influence of Mars Venus me gave my l.u.s.t and liquorishness, And Mars gave me my st.u.r.dy hardiness.] <25> Mine ascendant was Taure,* and Mars therein: *Taurus Alas, alas, that ever love was sin!

I follow'd aye mine inclination By virtue of my constellation: That made me that I coulde not withdraw My chamber of Venus from a good fellaw.

[Yet have I Marte's mark upon my face, And also in another privy place.

For G.o.d so wisly* be my salvation, *certainly I loved never by discretion, But ever follow'd mine own appet.i.te, All* were he short, or long, or black, or white, *whether I took no keep,* so that he liked me, *heed How poor he was, neither of what degree.] <25> What should I say? but that at the month's end This jolly clerk Jenkin, that was so hend,* *courteous Had wedded me with great solemnity, And to him gave I all the land and fee That ever was me given therebefore: But afterward repented me full sore.

He woulde suffer nothing of my list.* *pleasure By G.o.d, he smote me ones with his fist, For that I rent out of his book a leaf, That of the stroke mine eare wax'd all deaf.

Stubborn I was, as is a lioness, And of my tongue a very jangleress,* *prater And walk I would, as I had done beforn, From house to house, although he had it sworn:* *had sworn to For which he oftentimes woulde preach prevent it And me of olde Roman gestes* teach *stories How that Sulpitius Gallus left his wife And her forsook for term of all his For nought but open-headed* he her say** *bare-headed **saw Looking out at his door upon a day.

Another Roman <27> told he me by name, That, for his wife was at a summer game Without his knowing, he forsook her eke.

And then would he upon his Bible seek That ilke* proverb of Ecclesiast, *same Where he commandeth, and forbiddeth fast, Man shall not suffer his wife go roll about.

Then would he say right thus withoute doubt: "Whoso that buildeth his house all of sallows,* *willows And p.r.i.c.keth his blind horse over the fallows, And suff'reth his wife to *go seeke hallows,* *make pilgrimages*

Is worthy to be hanged on the gallows."

But all for nought; I *sette not a haw* *cared nothing for*

Of his proverbs, nor of his olde saw; Nor would I not of him corrected be.