Because your lips are blue.

Turn that off. He pointed to the faucet. Ill take it from here.

Youll drown.

So what if I do. Besides, you dont want to see whats under here.

Ill be waiting out by your chair.

And doesnt that give me something to look forward to, he said under his breath.

She shut the door behind her with a clap"and he didnt follow through on anything. He just went back to leaning against the wall and looking at the steaming water.

I dont hear any splashing, she said from outside.

Its not deep enough for me to swim in yet.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Hop to it, Mr. Baldwine.

{ 381 }.

Thats my father. And hes an asshole. I go by Edward.

Shut up and get in the water.

Even through the fog of his stupor, he felt a flare of something for her. Respect, he supposed it was.

But who cared"

Boom, boom, boom!

You are going to break that door down, he yelled over the noise.

And I thought you didnt want to see me naked.

Water. Now, she clipped out. And I dont, but better that than you being dead.

Matter of opinion, my dear girl.

And yet he decided to do what she said. For some insane reason.

Bracing his arms on the sink and the back of the old- fashioned toi- let, he hefted his body up to his feet. His clothes were a pain in the ass, but he got them off . . . and then he was in the tub. Strangely, the warm water had the opposite effect that it should have. Instead of heating him up, it made him feel freezing cold, and he began to shiver so badly, he created chop on the surface of the bath.

Crossing his arms over his chest, his teeth rattled together, and his heart skipped beats.

You okay in there? she asked.

When he didnt answer, Shelby said more loudly, Edward?

The door burst open and she jumped into the bathroom like she was prepared to go lifeguard and save him from twenty- four inches of water.

And it was horrible . . . as she looked down at him, all he could do was stare into the messy water" and hope that it covered up his spindly legs, his flaccid sex, his white skin with its purple scars.

He was pretty sure she gasped.

Smiling up at her, he said, Pretty, arent I. But believe it or not, Im fully functional. Well, Viagra helps. Be a darling, would you, and bring me some alcohol" I think Im detoxing and thats why Im shaking like this.

Do you . . . She cleared her throat. Do you n- n- need a doctor?

No, just some Jim Beam. Or Jack Daniels.

{ 382 }.

As she simply stared at him, he pointed through the open door be- hind her. Im serious. What I need is alcohol. If you want to save me, get me some. Now.

W hen Shelby Landis backed out of that bathroom and shut the door, she fully intended to get Edward what hed asked for.

After all, she had a lot of experience with alcoholics" and even though she didnt approve of any of it, shed brought her pops his booze a thousand times, and usually in the morning, too.

At least that was her plan. In reality, however, she couldnt seem to move, to think . . . even to breathe.

She had not been prepared for the sight of that man in there, his dark head bowed as if he were ashamed of his too- thin, mangled body, his mans pride as shredded and unhealed as his flesh. He had once been a great force; her father had told her the stories of his dominance in business, on the track, in society. Heck, she had heard about the Brad- fords since she was young: Her father had refused to drink anything but their No. 15" and so had most of the horse people she knew.

Putting her hands to her face, she whispered, What did you do to me, Pops?

Why had he sent her here?

Why . . .

Shelby? came the demand from inside the bathroom.

God, it was just like her father: The way Edward said her name with that hint of desperation . . . it was exactly the way her Pops had when hed needed the drink bad.

Closing her eyes, she cursed out her breath. Then felt guilty. For- give me, Lord. I know not what I say.

Looking across the space, she found a lineup of full liquor bottles in front of one of the shelves of silver trophies, and the idea of delivering that poision to him made her want to be sick. But he would just come out here himself" and probably fall and hit his head on the way. And then where would they be? Plus, she knew the way things worked. That ter- { 383 }.

rible trembling wasnt going to stop until the beast inside was fed what it needed, and his body looked so frail to begin with.

Coming, she called out. What kind do yall want?

It doesnt matter.

Blindly heading for bottles, she picked up some gin and went back to the closed door of the bathroom. She didnt bother to knock, just walked right in.

Here. She cranked the top off. Drink from it.

Except with the way his hands were trembling, there was no way he could handle the bottle himself without spilling it everywhere.

Let me hold it for you, she muttered.

There was a moment of hesitation from him, and then he lifted his mouth like a newborn foal who had been left by its mother.

He took two or three deep swallows. And another. Now, thats warm.

Putting the gin by the side of the tub so he could reach it if he wanted, she took a full- sized bath towel and submerged it in the water behind him. When it was soaked and dripping, she draped it over the protruding ridge of his spine and the strips of his ribs. Then she went to work on his head with a washcloth, getting his hair wet, slicking it back.

Without him asking, she brought the gin bottle up again and he took from it, nursing from the open mouth.

Washing him with the soap and the shampoo reminded her of car- ing for an animal not long rescued. He was flinchy. Mistrusting.

Half dead.

You need to eat, she said in a voice that cracked.

I dont have this in me, Lord. I cant do this again.

She hadnt managed to save that miscreant alcoholic father of hers.

Losing two men in one lifetime seemed more than enough failure to go around.

Im going to make you breakfast after this, Edward.

You dont have to.

Yes, she said roughly. I know.

{ 384 }.

FORT Y- FIV E.

S o are we doing this again?

At the sound of the male voice, Lizzie stopped in the process of transferring yet another Hedera helix spine into a fresh pot.

Closing her eyes, she took a breath and ordered her hands not to shake or drop anything.

She had been waiting for Lane to come and find her. It hadnt taken long.

Well? he said. Are we back at this thing where you hear some- thing you dont like and shut me out? Because if thats the script were running here, and it sure as hell looks like we are, I guess I should just hop back on a plane to New York and call it quits now. So much more efficient and I dont have to run up a phone bill leaving messages on your voice mail.

Forcing her hands to keep going, she put the root system into the hole shed dug in the pot and began to transfer fresh soil in to fill things up.

Something I didnt want to hear, she repeated. Yes, you could say that finding out your wife is pregnant" again" is a news flash I would { 385 }.

have preferred not to hear. Particularly because I learned about it right after Id had sex with you myself. And then there was the happy news that you were being arrested for putting her in the hospital.

When he didnt say anything after that, she glanced over at him. He was standing just inside the greenhouse, by the workstation Greta would have been at had Lizzie not told the woman that she needed some time by herself.

Do you honestly think Im capable of something like that? he asked in a low voice.

Its not up to me to decide anything of the sort. She refocused on what she was doing and hated the words she spoke. But the one thing I will say is that the best clue to future behavior is the way someone has conducted themselves in the past. And I cant . . . I cant do this with you anymore. Whether or not any of it is true isnt the issue for me.

After patting down the new soil, she reached for her watering can and tilted the thing over the ivys feet. In another three months, the plant would be ready to move outdoors to one of the beds, or to the base of a wall, or to a pot on the terrace. They had great luck with this variant on the estate, but it was only good planning to have backups.

Wiping her hands off on the front of her potting apron, she turned to face him. Im leaving. I gave my notice. So you dont have to worry about going back to New York.

She had no trouble meeting his eyes. Looking him in the face.

Squaring off at him.

It was amazing how clear you could become with others when you knew where you stood yourself.

You really think I could do that to a woman, he repeated.

Of course I dont, she thought to herself. But she stayed silent because she knew that if she really wanted him to leave her alone, the insinua-tion would hurt his male pride and that, sadly, would work in her favor.

Lizzie, answer the quesiton.

Its not any of my business. It just isnt.

After a long moment, he nodded. Okay. Fair enough.

As he pivoted and went for the door, she had to admit she was a little { 386 }.

surprised. Shed expected some long, drawn- out thing from him. A tor- rent of persuasion she was going to have to deflect. Some kind of I love you, Lizzie. I really do love you.

I wish you well, Lizzie, he said. Take care.

And that . . . was that.

The door eased shut of its own volition. And for a split second, she had an absolutely absurd impulse to go after him and yell in his face that he was a colossal fucking asshole to have seduced her like he had, that he was a reprobate, that he was exactly who she feared he was, a user of women, a lying, cheating elitist sadist who wouldnt know"

Lizzie forcibly pulled herself back from the brink.

If that good- bye was anything to go by, whether she was in or out of his life didnt seem to matter to him in the slightest.

Good to know, she thought bitterly. Good to know.

H ere was the thing, Lane thought as he got behind the wheel of his 911. There were times in life when, as much as you wanted to fight for something, you just had to let it go.

You didnt have to like the failure.

You didnt have to feel really fucking great about the way things turned out.

And you certainly didnt walk away from the shit scot- free, without being seriously damaged by the loss, crippled even.

But you needed to let that stuff go, because expending the energy wasnt going to get you anywhere, and you might as well get on with getting used to the loss.