A quart of Beer, A quart of Wine, Two pieces of Salt Fish, Half a dozen Red Herrings, Four White ones, and A Dish of Sprats!!!

"_They_ DINED _at Ten_--SUPPED _at Four_ in the afternoon,--The Gates were all shut at nine, and no further ingress or egress permitted."--See pages 314 and 318.

But now, A.D. 1821,

"The Gentleman who dines the latest Is, in our Street, esteemed the greatest: But surely greater than them all, Is he who never Dines[82] at all."

DINNERS at _Night_,

AND

SUPPERS in the _Morning_,

A few Cautionary Hints to Modern Fashionables.--

"The Ancients did delight, forsooth, To sport in allegoric Truth; Apollo, as we long have read since, Was G.o.d of Music, and of Med'cines.

_In Prose_, APOLLO is the Sun, And when he has his course begun, The allegory then implies 'Tis Time for wise men to arise; For ancient sages all commend The morning, as the Muses friend; But modern Wits are seldom able To sift the moral of this fable;-- But give to Sleep's oblivious power The treasures of the morning hour, And leave reluctant, and with Pain, With feeble nerve, and muddy Brain, Their favorite couches late at noon, And quit them then perhaps too soon, Mistaking by a sunblind sight The Night for Day--and Day for Night.

Quitting their healthful guide Apollo, What fatal follies do they follow!

_Dinners_ at night--and in the Morn _Suppers_, serv'd up as if in scorn Of Nature's wholesome regulations, Both in their Viands and Potations.

Besides, Apollo is M. D.

As all Mythologists agree, And skill'd in Herbs and all their virtues, As well as Ayton is, or Curtis.

No doubt his excellence would stoop To dictate a Receipt for _Soup_, Show as much skill in dressing _Salad_, As in composing of a _Ballad_, 'Twixt Health and Riot draw a line, And teach us How--and When--to dine.

The Stomach, that great Organ, soon, If overcharg'd, is out of tune, Blown up with Wind that sore annoys The Ear with most unhallow'd noise!!

Now all these Sorrows and Diseases A man may fly from if he pleases; For rising early will restore His powers to what they were before, Teach him to Dine at Nature's call, And to Sup lightly, if at all; Teach him each morning to preserve The active brain, and steady nerve; Provide him with a share of Health For the pursuit of fame, or wealth; And leave the folly of _Night Dinners_ To Fools and Dandies, and Old Sinners!!!"

That distressing interruption of the Circulation, which is called "NIGHTMARE," "Globus Hystericus," "Spasms," "Cramp," or "Gout," in the Stomach, with which few who have pa.s.sed the Meridian of Life[83], are so fortunate as not to be too well acquainted, we believe to arise from the same causes--which in the day produce Palpitation of the Heart.

The Editor is now in his forty-third year, and has been from his youth occasionally afflicted with both these disorders; sometimes without being able to imagine what has produced them:--sometimes he has not been attacked with either of these complaints for many months; they have then seized him for a week or more,--and as unaccountably ceased.

THE NIGHTMARE has generally come on about three o'clock in the morning,--at the termination of the first, or rather at the commencement of the second sleep;--quite as often when he has taken only a liquid or very light supper,--as when he has eaten some solid food, and gone to bed soon after;--and most frequently after he has Dined[84] out: not from the quant.i.ty, but the quality of the food and drink he has taken, the change of the time of taking it. The fatigue attending his performance of Amphytrion at his own table, has also occasionally produced it.

It appears to be occasioned by want of Action in the System, being generally preceded by Languor--(which, if not removed, may proceed to produce--_Palsy_--or _Death_,) caused either by depression of the power of the Heart by anxiety,--obstruction of the peristaltic motion by the oppression of indigestible matter,--or interruption of the performance of the Restorative Process.

It is certainly not to be prevented by Abstinence, for during the time that the Editor was trying the effect of a spare diet, he was most frequently afflicted with it.--See _Obs._ on SLEEP, &c. It is only to be relieved by Stimulants, and in an extreme case--by quickly acting Aperients, &c. See following pages.

Some persons are peculiarly subject to it when they lie on their back,--others if on their left side:--when the Editor has any disposition to this malady, it is certainly exasperated if he lays upon his right side,--especially during the first part of the Night,--it is a good Custom to lay one half of the Night on one side, and the other half on the other.

When this appalling pause of the Circulation takes place--he wakes, with the idea that another minute of such suspended action will terminate his Existence:--his first recourse is to force the action of the Lungs by breathing as quick and as deep as possible.--He feels very languid,--and to prevent a return of the fit, drinks a couple of gla.s.ses of _White Wine_,--or half a wine-gla.s.s of _Brandy_, in a wine-gla.s.s of _Peppermint Water_.

Sometimes the Disorder does not terminate with one paroxysm, but recurs as soon as Sleep returns:--when this is the case, get half a tumbler of Hot Water, add to it a wine-gla.s.s of _Peppermint Water_, and half that quant.i.ty of _Tincture of Rhubarb_, or fifty drops of _Sal Volatile_, or both.

The symptom of security from a repet.i.tion of the Fit, is a vermicular sensation, betokening that the peristaltic motion, and the Circulation is restored to its regular pace again.

His belief that many sudden and unaccountable Deaths in the night have arisen from Invalids not knowing how to manage this Disorder, induces the Editor to relate his own personal experience concerning it--and the Remedies which he has found effectual to remove it.

"Non ignara mali, miseris succurrere disco."

The case is very similar to what Dr. WHYTT relates of himself, in his _Observations on Nervous, Hysteric, and Hypochondriac Disorders_, 8vo.

1767[85]; by which, Dr. CULLEN, in p. 10 of his _Clinical Lectures_, says, "he has done more than all his predecessors."

Mr. WALLER has written a very sensible Essay on the _Nightmare_--those who are much afflicted with it, cannot lay out 3_s._ 6_d._ better, than in buying his book--12mo. 1816. He says, "it most frequently proceeds from acidity in the Stomach, and recommends _Carbonate of Soda_, to be taken in the Beer you Drink at dinner." He tells us "he derived his information, as to the cause, and cure of this distressing disorder, from a personal acquaintance with it for many years."

How devoutly it is to be wished that all Authors would follow good old SYDENHAM and Mr. WALLER'S example,--and give us a register of the progress of those chronic complaints which they have themselves been afflicted with, and the regimen, &c. which they have found most effectual to alleviate and cure them;--and, instead of what they think,--write only what they know,--as the pains-taking SANCTORIUS--SPALLANZANI--BRYAN ROBINSON,--and the persevering and minutely accurately observing Dr. STARK have in their _Dietetical Experiments_.

Dr. WHYTT has immortalized himself by the candid relation of his own infirmities, and his circ.u.mstantial account of the Regimen, &c. which enabled him to bear up against them,--which forms the most valuable collection of observations on _Nervous Complaints_, that experience and liberality have yet presented to the public.

_One page of_ PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, _is worth folios of theoretic Fancies_,--_or Clinical Cases_, which can only be illuminated by the twilight of conjecture:--they may be faithful narratives of the accounts given by Patients, yet, as these are very often imposed upon by their imagination attributing effects to very different causes than those which produce them, they are often very inaccurate deductions.

THE DELICATE AND THE NERVOUS, will derive the greatest advantage from keeping _a Register of their Health_,--they should note, and avoid whatever disagrees with them,--and endeavour to ascertain, what kind and quant.i.ty of Food--Exercise--Occupation and Pleasures, &c. are most agreeable to their const.i.tution, and take them at those regular periods which appear most convenient to them. However this advice may excite the smiles of those who are swelling "in all the pride of superfluous Health," such methodical movements will considerably improve the enjoyment, and prolong the life of the Valetudinary and the Aged: for whom, Instinct is the best Guide in the choice of Aliment.

None but the most obstinately ignorant Visionary, would dream of laying down absolute Rules[86] for governing the caprice and whims of the infirm Stomachs of Crazy Valetudinarians. Codes of Dietetics[87] are almost useless,--the suggestions of Reason are often in direct opposition to the desires of Appet.i.te.

In most matters regarding the adjustment of that supreme organ of existence,--the STOMACH,--"honest Instinct[88] comes a Volunteer."--_Ventriloquism_ seldom falls to make out a fair t.i.tle, to be called "unerring." A due respect to the suggestions of Instinct, every Invalid will find highly advantageous,--natural longing has frequently pointed out Food--by which _Acute Diseases_ have been cured, when the most consummate medical skill was at fault, and Life at its lowest ebb.

It is needless to insist upon the importance of Diet and Regimen in _Chronic Disorders_.

Be content with ONE[89] Dish,--from want of submission to this salutary rule of Temperance--as many men dig their Grave with their _Teeth_, as with the _Tankard_;--DRUNKENNESS is deplorably destructive, but her demurer sister GLUTTONY destroys an hundred to her one.

_Instinct_ speaks pretty plainly to those whose instruments of Digestion are in a delicate state--and is an infinitely surer guide than any Dietetic rules that can be contrived.

That the Food which we fancy most--generally sits easiest on the Stomach--is a fact which the experience of almost every individual can confirm.

The functions of Digestion go on merrily when exercised by Aliment which the Stomach asks for--they often labour in vain when we eat merely because it is the usual hour of Dining--or out of necessity, to amuse the Gastric juices, and "lull the grinding stomach's hungry rage."

To affirm that any thing is wholesome, or unwholesome,--without considering the subject in all the circ.u.mstances to which it bears relation, and the unaccountable peculiarities of different Const.i.tutions,--is, with submission, talking nonsense.

Let every Man consult his Stomach;--to eat and drink such things--and in such quant.i.ties--as agree with that perfectly well, is wholesome for him, whilst they continue to do so[90]:--that which satisfies and refreshes us, and causes no uneasiness after, may safely be taken in moderation--whenever the Appet.i.te is keen--whether it be at Dinner or Supper.

What we have been longest used to, is most likely to agree with us best.

The wholesomeness, &c. of all Food, depends very much on the quality of it--and the way in which it is cooked.

Those who are poor in Health, must live as they can;--certainly the less Stimulus any of us use the better, provided it be sufficient to properly carry on the Circulation:--I sometimes hold it lawful to excite Appet.i.te when it is feeble by Age, or debilitated by Indisposition.

Those Stimuli which excite the circulation at the least expense of nervous irritation--and afford the greatest quant.i.ty of nutriment, must be most acceptable to the Stomach, when it demands restorative diet.

A healthful impetus may be given to the System by a well seasoned _Soup_, or a restorative _Ragout_, at half the expense to the machinery of Life, than by the use of those Spirituous Stimuli--which fan a feverish fire--exciting action without supplying the expenditure of the principle producing it--and merely quicken the circulation for a few minutes, without contributing any material to feed the Lamp of Life--which, if it be originally or organically defective--or is impaired by Time or Disease--will sometimes not burn brightly, unless it be supplied with the best oil, and trimmed in the most skilful manner.

Good _Mock Turtle_, see (No. 246, or 247*,) will agree with weak stomachs surprisingly well; so will that made by BIRCH _in Cornhill_, and by KAY _at Albion House_, Aldersgate Street.--This excellent Soup, is frequently ordered for Dyspeptic patients, by the senior Physician to one of the largest hospitals in this Metropolis: as a man of science and talent, certainly in as high estimation as any of his cotemporaries.

Ox-tail Soup (No. 240,) Giblet Soup (No. 244,) and (No. 87,) and (No.

89,) (No. 489,) and (No. 503,) are very agreeable extempore Restoratives,--so easy of digestion, that they are a sinecure to the Stomach, and give very little trouble to the chylopoietic organs--those whose Teeth are defective--and those whose Circulation is below _par_,--will find them acceptable Foods.

"_Experto crede_,"--the reader will remember _Baglivi's_ chapter "_de Idolis Medicorum_," wherein he tells us, that "Physicians always prescribe to others, what they like themselves." The learned MANDEVILLE has favoured us with five pages on the incomparably invigorating virtues of _Stock Fish_!! a kind of Cod which is dried without being salted. See pages 316, &c. of his _Treatise on Hypochondriasis_.

The best Answers, to all inquiries about _The Wholesomes_, are the following Questions;--"Do you like it?" "Does it agree with you?"--"then eat in moderation, and you cannot do very wrong."

Those who have long lived luxuriously, to be sufficiently nourished, must be regularly supplied with Food that is nutritive, and Drink that is stimulating[91],--_Spice and_ _Wine_, are as needful to the "BON VIVANT" of a certain Age--as its _Mother's Milk_, is to a NEW-BORN BABE.