"Danda est h.e.l.lebori multo pars maxima avaris."

"Misers make Anticyra their own; Its h.e.l.lebore reserved for them alone."

And yet methinks prodigals are much madder than they, be of what condition they will, that bear a public or private purse; as a [757]Dutch writer censured Richard the rich duke of Cornwall, suing to be emperor, for his profuse spending, _qui effudit pecuniam, ante pedes principium Electorum sicut aquam_, that scattered money like water; I do censure them, _Stulta Anglia_ (saith he) _quae, tot denariis sponte est privata, stulti principes Alemaniae, qui n.o.bile jus suum pro pecunia vendiderunt_; spendthrifts, bribers, and bribe-takers are fools, and so are [758]all they that cannot keep, disburse, or spend their moneys well.

I might say the like of angry, peevish, envious, ambitious; [759]

_Anticyras melior sorbere meracas_; Epicures, Atheists, Schismatics, Heretics; _hi omnes habent imaginationem laesam_ (saith Nymannus) "and their madness shall be evident," 2 Tim. iii. 9. [760]Fabatus, an Italian, holds seafaring men all mad; "the ship is mad, for it never stands still; the mariners are mad, to expose themselves to such imminent dangers: the waters are raging mad, in perpetual motion: the winds are as mad as the rest, they know not whence they come, whither they would go: and those men are maddest of all that go to sea; for one fool at home, they find forty abroad." He was a madman that said it, and thou peradventure as mad to read it. [761] Felix Platerus is of opinion all alchemists are mad, out of their wits; [762]Atheneus saith as much of fiddlers, _et musarum luscinias_, [763] Musicians, _omnes tibicines insaniunt, ubi semel efflant, avolat illico mens_, in comes music at one ear, out goes wit at another. Proud and vainglorious persons are certainly mad; and so are [764]lascivious; I can feel their pulses beat hither; horn-mad some of them, to let others lie with their wives, and wink at it.

To insist [765]in all particulars, were an Herculean task, to [766]reckon up [767]_insanas substructiones, insanos labores, insanum luxum_, mad labours, mad books, endeavours, carriages, gross ignorance, ridiculous actions, absurd gestures; _insanam gulam, insaniam villarum, insana jurgia_, as Tully terms them, madness of villages, stupend structures; as those Egyptian Pyramids, Labyrinths and Sphinxes, which a company of crowned a.s.ses, _ad ostentationem opum_, vainly built, when neither the architect nor king that made them, or to what use and purpose, are yet known: to insist in their hypocrisy, inconstancy, blindness, rashness, _dementem temeritatem_, fraud, cozenage, malice, anger, impudence, ingrat.i.tude, ambition, gross superst.i.tion, [768]_tempora infecta et adulatione sordida_, as in Tiberius' times, such base flattery, stupend, parasitical fawning and colloguing, &c. brawls, conflicts, desires, contentions, it would ask an expert Vesalius to anatomise every member.

Shall I say? Jupiter himself, Apollo, Mars, &c. doted; and monster-conquering Hercules that subdued the world, and helped others, could not relieve himself in this, but mad he was at last. And where shall a man walk, converse with whom, in what province, city, and not meet with Signior Deliro, or Hercules Furens, Maenads, and Corybantes? Their speeches say no less. [769]_E fungis nati homines_, or else they fetched their pedigree from those that were struck by Samson with the jaw-bone of an a.s.s.

Or from Deucalion and Pyrrha's stones, for _durum genus sumus_, [770]

_marmorei sumus_, we are stony-hearted, and savour too much of the stock, as if they had all heard that enchanted horn of Astolpho, that English duke in Ariosto, which never sounded but all his auditors were mad, and for fear ready to make away with themselves; [771]or landed in the mad haven in the Euxine sea of _Daphnis insana_, which had a secret quality to dementate; they are a company of giddy-heads, afternoon men, it is Midsummer moon still, and the dog-days last all the year long, they are all mad. Whom shall I then except? Ulricus Huttenus [772]_nemo, nam, nemo omnibus horis sapit, Nemo nascitur sine vitiis, Crimine Nemo caret, Nemo sorte sua vivit contentus, Nemo in amore sapit, Nemo bonus, Nemo sapiens, Nemo, est ex omni parti beatus_, &c. [773]and therefore Nicholas Nemo, or Monsieur n.o.body shall go free, _Quid valeat nemo, Nemo referre potest_? But whom shall I except in the second place? such as are silent, _vir sapit qui pauca loquitur_; [774]no better way to avoid folly and madness, than by taciturnity. Whom in a third? all senators, magistrates; for all fortunate men are wise, and conquerors valiant, and so are all great men, _non est bonum ludere c.u.m diis_, they are wise by authority, good by their office and place, _his licet impune pessimos esse_, (some say) we must not speak of them, neither is it fit; _per me sint omnia protinus alba_, I will not think amiss of them. Whom next? Stoics? _Sapiens Stoicus_, and he alone is subject to no perturbations, as [775]Plutarch scoffs at him, "he is not vexed with torments, or burnt with fire, foiled by his adversary, sold of his enemy: though he be wrinkled, sand-blind, toothless, and deformed; yet he is most beautiful, and like a G.o.d, a king in conceit, though not worth a groat. He never dotes, never mad, never sad, drunk, because virtue cannot be taken away," as [776]Zeno holds, "by reason of strong apprehension," but he was mad to say so. [777]_Anticyrae caelo huic est opus aut dolabra_, he had need to be bored, and so had all his fellows, as wise as they would seem to be. Chrysippus himself liberally grants them to be fools as well as others, at certain times, upon some occasions, _amitti virtutem ait per ebrietatem, aut atribilarium morb.u.m_, it may be lost by drunkenness or melancholy, he may be sometimes crazed as well as the rest: [778]_ad summum sapiens nisi quum pituita molesta_. I should here except some Cynics, Menippus, Diogenes, that Theban Crates; or to descend to these times, that omniscious, only wise fraternity [779]of the Rosicrucians, those great theologues, politicians, philosophers, physicians, philologers, artists, &c. of whom S. Bridget, Albas Joacchimus, Leicenbergius, and such divine spirits have prophesied, and made promise to the world, if at least there be any such (Hen. [780]Neuhusius makes a doubt of it, [781] Valentinus Andreas and others) or an Elias artifex their Theophrastian master; whom though Libavius and many deride and carp at, yet some will have to be "the [782]renewer of all arts and sciences," reformer of the world, and now living, for so Johannes Monta.n.u.s Strigoniensis, that great patron of Paracelsus, contends, and certainly avers [783]"a most divine man," and the quintessence of wisdom wheresoever he is; for he, his fraternity, friends, &c. are all [784]"betrothed to wisdom," if we may believe their disciples and followers. I must needs except Lipsius and the Pope, and expunge their name out of the catalogue of fools. For besides that parasitical testimony of Dousa,

"A Sole exoriente Maeotidas usque paludes, Nemo est qui justo se aequiparare queat."[785]

Lipsius saith of himself, that he was [786]_humani generis quidem paedagogus voce et stylo_, a grand signior, a master, a tutor of us all, and for thirteen years he brags how he sowed wisdom in the Low Countries, as Ammonius the philosopher sometimes did in Alexandria, [787]_c.u.m humanitate literas et sapientiam c.u.m prudentia: antistes sapientiae_, he shall be _Sapientum Octavus_. The Pope is more than a man, as [788]his parrots often make him, a demiG.o.d, and besides his holiness cannot err, _in Cathedra_ belike: and yet some of them have been magicians, Heretics, Atheists, children, and as Platina saith of John 22, _Et si vir literatus, multa stoliditatem et laevitatem prae se ferentia egit, stolidi et socordis vir ingenii_, a scholar sufficient, yet many things he did foolishly, lightly. I can say no more than in particular, but in general terms to the rest, they are all mad, their wits are evaporated, and, as Ariosto feigns, _l. 34_, kept in jars above the moon.

"Some lose their wits with love, some with ambition, Some following [789]Lords and men of high condition.

Some in fair jewels rich and costly set, Others in Poetry their wits forget.

Another thinks to be an Alchemist, Till all be spent, and that his number's mist."

Convicted fools they are, madmen upon record; and I am afraid past cure many of them, [790]_crepunt inguina_, the symptoms are manifest, they are all of Gotam parish:

[791] "Quum furor haud dubius, quum sit manifesta phrenesis,"

"Since madness is indisputable, since frenzy is obvious."

what remains then [792]but to send for Lorarios, those officers to carry them all together for company to Bedlam, and set Rabelais to be their physician.

If any man shall ask in the meantime, who I am that so boldly censure others, _tu nullane habes vitia_? have I no faults? [793]Yes, more than thou hast, whatsoever thou art. _Nos numerus sumus_, I confess it again, I am as foolish, as mad as any one.

[794] "Insa.n.u.s vobis videor, non deprecor ipse, Quo minus insa.n.u.s,"------

I do not deny it, _demens de populo dematur_. My comfort is, I have more fellows, and those of excellent note. And though I be not so right or so discreet as I should be, yet not so mad, so bad neither, as thou perhaps takest me to be.

To conclude, this being granted, that all the world is melancholy, or mad, dotes, and every member of it, I have ended my task, and sufficiently ill.u.s.trated that which I took upon me to demonstrate at first. At this present I have no more to say; _His sanam mentem Democritus_, I can but wish myself and them a good physician, and all of us a better mind.

And although for the above-named reasons, I had a just cause to undertake this subject, to point at these particular species of dotage, that so men might acknowledge their imperfections, and seek to reform what is amiss; yet I have a more serious intent at this time; and to omit all impertinent digressions, to say no more of such as are improperly melancholy, or metaphorically mad, lightly mad, or in disposition, as stupid, angry, drunken, silly, sottish, sullen, proud, vainglorious, ridiculous, beastly, peevish, obstinate, impudent, extravagant, dry, doting, dull, desperate, harebrain, &c. mad, frantic, foolish, heteroc.l.i.tes, which no new [795]

hospital can hold, no physic help; my purpose and endeavour is, in the following discourse to anatomise this humour of melancholy, through all its parts and species, as it is an habit, or an ordinary disease, and that philosophically, medicinally, to show the causes, symptoms, and several cures of it, that it may be the better avoided. Moved thereunto for the generality of it, and to do good, it being a disease so frequent, as [796]

Mercurialis observes, "in these our days; so often happening," saith [797]

Laurentius, "in our miserable times," as few there are that feel not the smart of it. Of the same mind is Aelian Montaltus, [798]Melancthon, and others; [799]Julius Caesar Claudinus calls it the "fountain of all other diseases, and so common in this crazed age of ours, that scarce one of a thousand is free from it;" and that splenetic hypochondriacal wind especially, which proceeds from the spleen and short ribs. Being then a disease so grievous, so common, I know not wherein to do a more general service, and spend my time better, than to prescribe means how to prevent and cure so universal a malady, an epidemical disease, that so often, so much crucifies the body and mind.

If I have overshot myself in this which hath been hitherto said, or that it is, which I am sure some will object, too fantastical, "too light and comical for a Divine, too satirical for one of my profession," I will presume to answer with [800]Erasmus, in like case, 'tis not I, but Democritus, Democritus _dixit_: you must consider what it is to speak in one's own or another's person, an a.s.sumed habit and name; a difference betwixt him that affects or acts a prince's, a philosopher's, a magistrate's, a fool's part, and him that is so indeed; and what liberty those old satirists have had; it is a cento collected from others; not I, but they that say it.

[801] "Dixero si quid forte jocosius, hoc mihi juris c.u.m venia, dabis"------

"Yet some indulgence I may justly claim, If too familiar with another's fame."

Take heed you mistake me not. If I do a little forget myself, I hope you will pardon it. And to say truth, why should any man be offended, or take exceptions at it?

"Licuit, semperque licebit, Parcere personis, dicere de vitiis."

"It lawful was of old, and still will be, To speak of vice, but let the name go free."

I hate their vices, not their persons. If any be displeased, or take aught unto himself, let him not expostulate or cavil with him that said it (so did [802]Erasmus excuse himself to Dorpius, _si parva licet componere magnis_) and so do I; "but let him be angry with himself, that so betrayed and opened his own faults in applying it to himself:" [803]"if he be guilty and deserve it, let him amend, whoever he is, and not be angry." "He that hateth correction is a fool," Prov. xii. 1. If he be not guilty, it concerns him not; it is not my freeness of speech, but a guilty conscience, a galled back of his own that makes him wince.

"Suspicione si quis errabit sua, Et rapiet ad se, quod erit commune omnium, Stulte nudabit animi conscientiam."[804]

I deny not this which I have said savours a little of Democritus; [805]

_Quamvis ridentem dicere verum quid velat_; one may speak in jest, and yet speak truth. It is somewhat tart, I grant it; _acriora orexim excitant embammata_, as he said, sharp sauces increase appet.i.te, [806]_nec cibus ipse juvat morsu fraudatus aceti_. Object then and cavil what thou wilt, I ward all with [807]Democritus's buckler, his medicine shall salve it; strike where thou wilt, and when: _Democritus dixit_, Democritus will answer it. It was written by an idle fellow, at idle times, about our Saturnalian or Dionysian feasts, when as he said, _nullum libertati periculum est_, servants in old Rome had liberty to say and do what them list. When our countrymen sacrificed to their G.o.ddess [808]Vacuna, and sat tippling by their Vacunal fires. I writ this, and published this [Greek: houtis helegen], it is _neminis nihil_. The time, place, persons, and all circ.u.mstances apologise for me, and why may not I then be idle with others?

speak my mind freely? If you deny me this liberty, upon these presumptions I will take it: I say again, I will take it.

[809] "Si quis est qui dictum in se inclementius Existimavit esse, sic existimet."

If any man take exceptions, let him turn the buckle of his girdle, I care not. I owe thee nothing (Reader), I look for no favour at thy hands, I am independent, I fear not.

No, I recant, I will not, I care, I fear, I confess my fault, acknowledge a great offence,

------"motos praestat componere fluctus."

------"let's first a.s.suage the troubled waves"

I have overshot myself, I have spoken foolishly, rashly, unadvisedly, absurdly, I have anatomised mine own folly. And now methinks upon a sudden I am awaked as it were out of a dream; I have had a raving fit, a fantastical fit, ranged up and down, in and out, I have insulted over the most kind of men, abused some, offended others, wronged myself; and now being recovered, and perceiving mine error, cry with [810]Orlando, _Solvite me_, pardon (_o boni_) that which is past, and I will make you amends in that which is to come; I promise you a more sober discourse in my following treatise.

If through weakness, folly, pa.s.sion, [811]discontent, ignorance, I have said amiss, let it be forgotten and forgiven. I acknowledge that of [812]

Tacitus to be true, _Asperae facetiae, ubi nimis ex vero traxere, acrem sui memoriam relinquunt_, a bitter jest leaves a sting behind it: and as an honourable man observes, [813]"They fear a satirist's wit, he their memories." I may justly suspect the worst; and though I hope I have wronged no man, yet in Medea's words I will crave pardon,

------"Illud jam voce extrema peto, Ne si qua noster dubius effudit dolor, Maneant in animo verba, sed melior tibi Memoria nostri subeat, haec irae data Obliterentur"------

"And in my last words this I do desire, That what in pa.s.sion I have said, or ire, May be forgotten, and a better mind, Be had of us, hereafter as you find."

I earnestly request every private man, as Scaliger did Cardan, not to take offence. I will conclude in his lines, _Si me cognitum haberes, non solum donares n.o.bis has facetias nostras, sed etiam indignum duceres, tam humanum aninum, lene ingenium, vel minimam suspicionem deprecari oportere_. If thou knewest my [814]modesty and simplicity, thou wouldst easily pardon and forgive what is here amiss, or by thee misconceived. If hereafter anatomizing this surly humour, my hand slip, as an unskilful 'prentice I lance too deep, and cut through skin and all at unawares, make it smart, or cut awry, [815]pardon a rude hand, an unskilful knife, 'tis a most difficult thing to keep an even tone, a perpetual tenor, and not sometimes to lash out; _difficile est Satyram non scribere_, there be so many objects to divert, inward perturbations to molest, and the very best may sometimes err; _aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus_ (some times that excellent Homer takes a nap), it is impossible not in so much to overshoot;--_opere in longo fas est obrepere, summum_. But what needs all this? I hope there will no such cause of offence be given; if there be, [816]_Nemo aliquid recognoscat, nos mentimur omnia_. I'll deny all (my last refuge), recant all, renounce all I have said, if any man except, and with as much facility excuse, as he can accuse; but I presume of thy good favour, and gracious acceptance (gentle reader). Out of an a.s.sured hope and confidence thereof, I will begin.

LECTORI MALE FERIATO.

Tu vero cavesis edico quisquis es, ne temere sugilles Auctorem hujusce operis, aut cavillator irrideas. Imo ne vel ex aliorum censura tacite obloquaris (vis dicam verbo) nequid nasutulus inepte improbes, aut falso fingas. Nam si talis revera sit, qualem prae se fert Junior Democritus, seniori Democrito saltem affinis, aut ejus Genium vel tantillum sapiat; actum de te, censorem aeque ac delatorem [817]aget econtra (_petulanti splene c.u.m sit_) sufflabit te in jocos, comminuet in sales, addo etiam, _et deo risui_ te sacrificabit.

Iterum moneo, ne quid cavillere, ne dum Democritum Juniorem conviciis infames, aut ignominiose vituperes, de te non male sentientem, tu idem audias ab amico cordato, quod olim vulgus Abderitanum ab [818] Hippocrate, concivem bene meritum et popularem suum Democritum, pro insano habens. _Ne tu Democrite sapis, stulti autem et insani Abderitae_.

[819] "Abderitanae pectora plebis habes."

Haec te paucis admonitum volo (male feriate Lector) abi.

TO THE READER AT LEISURE.

Whoever you may be, I caution you against rashly defaming the author of this work, or cavilling in jest against him. Nay, do not silently reproach him in consequence of others' censure, nor employ your wit in foolish disapproval, or false accusation. For, should Democritus Junior prove to be what he professes, even a kinsman of his elder namesake, or be ever so little of the same kidney, it is all over with you: he will become both accuser and judge of you in your spleen, will dissipate you in jests, pulverise you into salt, and sacrifice you, I can promise you, to the G.o.d of Mirth.