"She that was erst a maid as fresh as May, Is now an old crone, time so steals away."

Let them take time then while they may, make advantage of youth, and as he prescribes,

[5881] "Collige virgo rosas dum flos novus et nova p.u.b.es, Et memor esto aevum sic properare tuum."

"Fair maids, go gather roses in the prime, And think that as a flower so goes on time."

Let's all love, _dum vires annique sinunt_, while we are in the flower of years, fit for love matters, and while time serves: for

[5882] "Soles occidere et redire possunt, n.o.bis c.u.m semel occidit brevis lux, Nox est perpetuo una dormienda."

[5883] "Suns that set may rise again, But if once we loss this light, 'Tis with us perpetual night."

_Volat irrevocabile tempus_, time past cannot be recalled. But we need no such exhortation, we are all commonly too forward: yet if there be any escape, and all be not as it should, as Diogenes struck the father when the son swore, because he taught him no better, if a maid or young man miscarry, I think their parents oftentimes, guardians, overseers, governors, _neque vos_ (saith [5884]Chrysostom) _a supplicio immunes evadetis, si non statim ad nuptias_, &c. are in as much fault, and as severely to be punished as their children, in providing for them no sooner.

Now for such as have free liberty to bestow themselves, I could wish that good counsel of the comical old man were put in practice,

[5885] "Opulentiores pauperiorum ut filias Indotas dicant uxores domum: Et multo fiet civitas concordior, Et invidia nos minore utemur, quam utimur."

"That rich men would marry poor maidens some, And that without dowry, and so bring them home, So would much concord be in our city, Less envy should we have, much more pity."

If they would care less for wealth, we should have much more content and quietness in a commonwealth. Beauty, good bringing up, methinks, is a sufficient portion of itself, [5886]_Dos est sua forma puellis_, "her beauty is a maiden's dower," and he doth well that will accept of such a wife. Eubulides, in [5887]Aristaenetus, married a poor man's child, _facie non illaetabili_, of a merry countenance, and heavenly visage, in pity of her estate, and that quickly. Acontius coming to Delos, to sacrifice to Diana, fell in love with Cydippe, a n.o.ble la.s.s, and wanting means to get her love, flung a golden apple into her lap, with this inscription upon it,

"Juro tibi sane per mystica sacra Dianae, Me tibi venturum comitem, sponsumque futurum."

"I swear by all the rites of Diana, I'll come and be thy husband if I may."

She considered of it, and upon some small inquiry of his person and estate, was married unto him.

"Blessed is the wooing, That is not long a doing."

As the saying is; when the parties are sufficiently known to each other, what needs such scrupulosity, so many circ.u.mstances? dost thou know her conditions, her bringing-up, like her person? let her means be what they will, take her without any more ado. [5888]Dido and Aeneas were accidentally driven by a storm both into one cave, they made a match upon it; Ma.s.sinissa was married to that fair captive Sophonisba, King Syphax'

wife, the same day that he saw her first, to prevent Scipio Laelius, lest they should determine otherwise of her. If thou lovest the party, do as much: good education and beauty is a competent dowry, stand not upon money.

_Erant olim aurei homines_ (saith Theocritus) _et adamantes redamabant_, in the golden world men did so, (in the reign of [5889]Ogyges belike, before staggering Ninus began to domineer) if all be true that is reported: and some few nowadays will do as much, here and there one; 'tis well done methinks, and all happiness befall them for so doing. [5890]Leontius, a philosopher of Athens, had a fair daughter called Athenais, _multo corporis lepore ac Venere_, (saith mine author) of a comely carriage, he gave her no portion but her bringing up, _occulto formae, praesagio_, out of some secret foreknowledge of her fortune, bestowing that little which he had amongst his other children. But she, thus qualified, was preferred by some friends to Constantinople, to serve Pulcheria, the emperor's sister, of whom she was baptised and called Eudocia. Theodosius, the emperor, in short s.p.a.ce took notice of her excellent beauty and good parts, and a little after, upon his sister's sole commendation, made her his wife: 'twas n.o.bly done of Theodosius. [5891]Rudophe was the fairest lady in her days in all Egypt; she went to wash her, and by chance, (her maids meanwhile looking but carelessly to her clothes) an eagle stole away one of her shoes, and laid it in Psammeticus the King of Egypt's lap at Memphis: he wondered at the excellency of the shoe and pretty foot, but more _Aquilae, factum_, at the manner of the bringing of it: and caused forthwith proclamation to be made, that she that owned that shoe should come presently to his court; the virgin came, and was forthwith married to the king. I say this was heroically done, and like a prince: I commend him for it, and all such as have means, that will either do (as he did) themselves, or so for love, &c., marry their children. If he be rich, let him take such a one as wants, if she be virtuously given; for as Siracides, cap. 7. ver. 19. adviseth, "Forego not a wife and good woman; for her grace is above gold." If she have fortunes of her own, let her make a man. Danaus of Lacedaemon had a many daughters to bestow, and means enough for them all, he never stood inquiring after great matches, as others used to do, but [5892]sent for a company of brave young gallants to his house, and bid his daughters choose every one one, whom she liked best, and take him for her husband, without any more ado. This act of his was much approved in those times. But in this iron age of ours, we respect riches alone, (for a maid must buy her husband now with a great dowry, if she will have him) covetousness and filthy lucre mars all good matches, or some such by-respects. Crales, a Servian prince (as Nicephorus Gregoras _Rom. hist. lib. 6._ relates it,) was an earnest suitor to Eudocia, the emperor's sister; though her brother much desired it, yet she could not [5893]abide him, for he had three former wives, all basely abused; but the emperor still, _Cralis amicitiam magni faciens_, because he was a great prince, and a troublesome neighbour, much desired his affinity, and to that end betrothed his own daughter Simonida to him, a little girl five years of age (he being forty-five,) and five [5894]years older than the emperor himself: such disproportionable and unlikely matches can wealth and a fair fortune make. And yet not that alone, it is not only money, but sometimes vainglory, pride, ambition, do as much harm as wretched covetousness itself in another extreme. If a yeoman have one sole daughter, he must overmatch her, above her birth and calling, to a gentleman forsooth, because of her great portion, too good for one of her own rank, as he supposeth: a gentleman's daughter and heir must be married to a knight baronet's eldest son at least; and a knight's only daughter to a baron himself, or an earl, and so upwards, her great dower deserves it.

And thus striving for more honour to their wealth, they undo their children, many discontents follow, and oftentimes they ruinate their families. [5895]Paulus Jovius gives instance in Galeatius the Second, that heroical Duke of Milan, _externas affinitates, decoras quidem regio fastu, sed sibi et posteris d.a.m.nosas et fere exitiales quaesivit_; he married his eldest son John Galeatius to Isabella the King of France his sister, but she was _socero tam gravis, ut ducentis millibus aureorum const.i.terit_, her entertainment at Milan was so costly that it almost undid him. His daughter Violanta was married to Lionel Duke of Clarence, the youngest son to Edward the Third, King of England, but, _ad ejus adventum tantae opes tam admirabili liberalitate profusae sunt, ut opulentissimorum regum splendorem supera.s.se videretur_, he was welcomed with such incredible magnificence, that a king's purse was scarce able to bear it; for besides many rich presents of horses, arms, plate, money, jewels, &c., he made one dinner for him and his company, in which were thirty-two messes and as much provision left, _ut relatae a mensa dapes decem millibus hominum sufficerent_, as would serve ten thousand men: but a little after Lionel died, _novae nuptae et intempestivis conviviis operam dans_, &c., and to the duke's great loss, the solemnity was ended. So can t.i.tles, honours, ambition, make many brave, but unfortunate matches of all sides for by-respects, (though both crazed in body and mind, most unwilling, averse, and often unfit,) so love is banished, and we feel the smart of it in the end. But I am too lavish peradventure in this subject.

Another let or hindrance is strict and severe discipline, laws and rigorous customs, that forbid men to marry at set times, and in some places; as apprentices, servants, collegiates, states of lives in copyholds, or in some base inferior offices, [5896]_Velle licet_ in such cases, _potiri non licet_, as he said. They see but as prisoners through a grate, they covet and catch, but _Tantalus a labris_, &c. Their love is lost, and vain it is in such an estate to attempt. [5897]_Gravissimum est adamare nec potiri_, 'tis a grievous thing to love and not enjoy. They may, indeed, I deny not, marry if they will, and have free choice, some of them; but in the meantime their case is desperate, _Lupum auribus tenent_, they hold a wolf by the ears, they must either burn or starve. 'Tis _cornutum sophisma_, hard to resolve, if they marry they forfeit their estates, they are undone, and starve themselves through beggary and want: if they do not marry, in this heroical pa.s.sion they furiously rage, are tormented, and torn in pieces by their predominate affections. Every man hath not the gift of continence, let him [5898]pray for it then, as Beza adviseth in his Tract _de Divortiis_, because G.o.d hath so called him to a single life, in taking away the means of marriage. [5899]Paul would have gone from Mysia to Bithynia, but the spirit suffered him not, and thou wouldst peradventure be a married man with all thy will, but that protecting angel holds it not fit. The devil too sometimes may divert by his ill suggestions, and mar many good matches, as the same [5900]Paul was willing to see the Romans, but hindered of Satan he could not. There be those that think they are necessitated by fate, their stars have so decreed, and therefore they grumble at their hard fortune, they are well inclined to marry, but one rub or other is ever in the way; I know what astrologers say in this behalf, what Ptolemy _quadripart.i.t. Tract. 4. cap. 4._ Skoner _lib. 1. cap. 12._ what Leovitius _genitur. exempl. 1._ which s.e.xtus ab Heminga takes to be the horoscope of Hieronymus Wolfius, what Pezelius, Origanaus and Leovitius his ill.u.s.trator Garceus, _cap. 12._ what Junctine, Prota.n.u.s, Campanella, what the rest, (to omit those Arabian conjectures _a parte conjugii, a parte lasciviae, triplicitates veneris_, &c., and those resolutions upon a question, _an amica potiatur_, &c.) determine in this behalf, viz. _an sit natus conjugem habiturus, facile an difficulter sit sponsam impetraturus, quot conjuges, quo tempore, quales decernantur nato uxores, de mutuo amore conjugem_, both in men's and women's genitures, by the examination of the seventh house the almutens, lords and planets there, _a [Symbol: Sun]d et [Symbol: Moon-3/4]a_ &c., by particular aphorisms, _Si dominus 7'mae in 7'ma vel secunda n.o.bilem decernit uxorem, servam aut ign.o.bilem si duodecima. Si Venus in 12'ma, &c., with many such, too tedious to relate. Yet let no man be troubled, or find himself grieved with such predictions, as Hier.

Wolfius well saith in his astrological [5901]dialogue, _non sunt praetoriana decreta_, they be but conjectures, the stars incline, but not enforce,

[5902] "Sidera corporibus praesunt caelestia nostris, Sunt ea de vili condita namque luto: Cogere sed nequeunt animum ratione fruentem, Quippe sub imperio solius ipse dei est."

wisdom, diligence, discretion, may mitigate if not quite alter such decrees, _Fortuna sua a cujusque fingitur moribus_, [5903]_Qui cauti, prudentes, voti compotes_, &c., let no man then be terrified or molested with such astrological aphorisms, or be much moved, either to vain hope or fear, from such predictions, but let every man follow his own free will in this case, and do as he sees cause. Better it is indeed to marry than burn, for their soul's health, but for their present fortunes, by some other means to pacify themselves, and divert the stream of this fiery torrent, to continue as they are, [5904]rest satisfied, _lugentes virginitatis florem sic aruisse_, deploring their misery with that eunuch in Libanius, since there is no help or remedy, and with Jephtha's daughter to bewail their virginities.

Of like nature is superst.i.tion, those rash vows of monks and friars, and such as live in religious orders, but far more tyrannical and much worse.

Nature, youth, and his furious pa.s.sion forcibly inclines, and rageth on the one side; but their order and vow checks them on the other. [5905]_Votoque suo sua forma repugnat._ What merits and indulgences they heap unto themselves by it, what commodities, I know not; but I am sure, from such rash vows, and inhuman manner of life, proceed many inconveniences, many diseases, many vices, mastupration, satyriasis, [5906]priapismus, melancholy, madness, fornication, adultery, b.u.g.g.e.ry, sodomy, theft, murder, and all manner of mischiefs: read but Bale's Catalogue of Sodomites, at the visitation of abbeys here in England, Henry Stephan. his Apol. for Herodotus, that which Ulricus writes in one of his epistles, [5907]"that Pope Gregory when he saw 600 skulls and bones of infants taken out of a fishpond near a nunnery, thereupon retracted that decree of priests'

marriages, which was the cause of such a slaughter, was much grieved at it, and purged himself by repentance." Read many such, and then ask what is to be done, is this vow to be broke or not? No, saith Bellarmine, _cap. 38.

lib. de Monach._ _melius est scortari et uri quam de voto coelibatus ad nuptias transire_, better burn or fly out, than to break thy vow. And Coster in his _Enchirid. de coelibat. sacerdotum_, saith it is absolutely _gravius peccatum_, [5908]"a greater sin for a priest to marry, than to keep a concubine at home." Gregory de Valence, _cap. 6. de coelibat._ maintains the same, as those of Essei and Montanists of old. Insomuch that many votaries, out of a false persuasion of merit and holiness in this kind, will sooner die than marry, though it be to the saving of their lives. [5909]Anno 1419. Pius 2, Pope, James Rossa, nephew to the King of Portugal, and then elect Archbishop of Lisbon, being very sick at Florence, [5910]"when his physicians told him, that his disease was such, he must either lie with a wench, marry, or die, cheerfully chose to die." Now they commended him for it; but St. Paul teacheth otherwise, "Better marry than burn," and as St. Hierome gravely delivers it, _Aliae, sunt leges Caesarum, aliae Christi, aliud Papinia.n.u.s, aliud Paulus noster praecipit_, there's a difference betwixt G.o.d's ordinances and men's laws: and therefore Cyprian _Epist. 8._ boldly denounceth, _impium est, adulterum est, sacrilegum est, quodcunque humano furore statuitur, ut dispositio divina violetur_, it is abominable, impious, adulterous, and sacrilegious, what men make and ordain after their own furies to cross G.o.d's laws. [5911]Georgius Wicelius, one of their own arch divines (_Inspect. eccles. pag. 18_) exclaims against it, and all such rash monastical vows, and would have such persons seriously to consider what they do, whom they admit, _ne in posterum querantur de inanibus stupris_, lest they repent it at last. For either, as he follows it, [5912]you must allow them concubines, or suffer them to marry, for scarce shall you find three priests of three thousand, _qui per aetatem non ament_, that are not troubled with burning l.u.s.t. Wherefore I conclude it is an unnatural and impious thing to bar men of this Christian liberty, too severe and inhuman an edict.

[5913] _The silly wren, the t.i.tmouse also, The little redbreast have their election, They fly I saw and together gone, Whereas hem list, about environ As they of kinde have inclination, And as nature impress and guide, Of everything list to provide.

But man alone, alas the hard stond, Full cruelly by kinds ordinance Constrained is, and by statutes bound, And debarred from all such pleasance: What meaneth this, what is this pretence Of laws, I wis, against all right of kinde Without a cause, so narrow men to binde?_

Many laymen repine still at priests' marriages above the rest, and not at clergymen only, but of all the meaner sort and condition, they would have none marry but such as are rich and able to maintain wives, because their parish belike shall be pestered with orphans, and the world full of beggars: but [5914]these are hard-hearted, unnatural, monsters of men, shallow politicians, they do not [5915]consider that a great part of the world is not yet inhabited as it ought, how many colonies into America, Terra Australis incognita, Africa, may be sent? Let them consult with Sir William Alexander's Book of Colonies, Orpheus Junior's Golden Fleece, Captain Whitburne, Mr. Hagthorpe, &c. and they shall surely be otherwise informed. Those politic Romans were of another mind, they thought their city and country could never be too populous. [5916]Adrian the emperor said he had rather have men than money, _malle se hominum adjectione ampliare imperium, quam pecunia_. Augustus Caesar made an oration in Rome _ad caelibus_, to persuade them to marry; some countries compelled them to marry of old, as [5917]Jews, Turks, Indians, Chinese, amongst the rest in these days, who much wonder at our discipline to suffer so many idle persons to live in monasteries, and often marvel how they can live honest.

[5918]In the isle of Maragnan, the governor and petty king there did wonder at the Frenchmen, and admire how so many friars, and the rest of their company could live without wives, they thought it a thing impossible, and would not believe it. If these men should but survey our mult.i.tudes of religious houses, observe our numbers of monasteries all over Europe, 18 nunneries in Padua, in Venice 34 cloisters of monks, 28 of nuns, &c. _ex ungue leonem_, 'tis to this proportion, in all other provinces and cities, what would they think, do they live honest? Let them dissemble as they will, I am of Tertullian's mind, that few can continue but by compulsion.

[5919]"O chast.i.ty" (saith he) "thou art a rare G.o.ddess in the world, not so easily got, seldom continuate: thou mayst now and then be compelled, either for defect of nature, or if discipline persuade, decrees enforce:" or for some such by-respects, sullenness, discontent, they have lost their first loves, may not have whom they will themselves, want of means, rash vows, &c. But can he willingly contain? I think not. Therefore, either out of commiseration of human imbecility, in policy, or to prevent a far worse inconvenience, for they hold some of them as necessary as meat and drink, and because vigour of youth, the state and temper of most men's bodies do so furiously desire it, they have heretofore in some nations liberally admitted polygamy and stews, a hundred thousand courtesans in Grand Cairo in Egypt, as [5920]Radzivilus observes, are tolerated, besides boys: how many at Fez, Rome, Naples, Florence, Venice, &c., and still in many other provinces and cities of Europe they do as much, because they think young men, churchmen, and servants amongst the rest, can hardly live honest. The consideration of this belike made Vibius, the Spaniard, when his friend [5921]Cra.s.sus, that rich Roman gallant, lay hid in the cave, _ut voluptatis quam aetas illa desiderat copiam faceret_, to gratify him the more, send two [5922]l.u.s.ty la.s.ses to accompany him all that while he was there imprisoned, And Surenus, the Parthian general, when he warred against the Romans, to carry about with him 200 concubines, as the Swiss soldiers do now commonly their wives. But, because this course is not generally approved, but rather contradicted as unlawful and abhorred, [5923]in most countries they do much encourage them to marriage, give great rewards to such as have many children, and mulct those that will not marry, _Jus trium liberorum_, and in Agellius, _lib. 2. cap. 15._ Elian. _lib. 6. cap. 5._ Valerius, _lib. 1. cap. 9._ [5924]We read that three children freed the father from painful offices, and five from all contribution. "A woman shall be saved by bearing children." Epictetus would have all marry, and as [5925]Plato will, _6 de legibus_, he that marrieth not before 35 years of his age, must be compelled and punished, and the money consecrated to [5926]Juno's temple, or applied to public uses. They account him, in some countries, unfortunate that dies without a wife, a most unhappy man, as [5927]Boethius infers, and if at all happy, yet _infortunio felix_, unhappy in his supposed happiness. They commonly deplore his estate, and much lament him for it: O, my sweet son, &c. See Lucian, _de Luctu_, Sands _fol.

83_, &c.

Yet, notwithstanding, many with us are of the opposite part, they are married themselves, and for others, let them burn, fire and flame, they care not, so they be not troubled with them. Some are too curious, and some too covetous, they may marry when they will both for ability and means, but so nice, that except as Theophilus the emperor was presented, by his mother Euprosune, with all the rarest beauties of the empire in the great chamber of his palace at once, and bid to give a golden apple to her he liked best.

If they might so take and choose whom they list out of all the fair maids their nation affords, they could happily condescend to marry: otherwise, &c., why should a man marry, saith another epicurean rout, what's matrimony but a matter of money? why should free nature be entrenched on, confined or obliged, to this or that man or woman, with these manacles of body and goods? &c. There are those too that dearly love, admire and follow women all their lives long, _sponsi Penelopes_, never well but in their company, wistly gazing on their beauties, observing close, hanging after them, dallying still with them, and yet dare not, will not marry. Many poor people, and of the meaner sort, are too distrustful of G.o.d's providence, "they will not, dare not for such worldly respects," fear of want, woes, miseries, or that they shall light, as [5928]"Lemnius saith, on a scold, a s.l.u.t, or a bad wife." And therefore, [5929]_Tristem Juventam venere deserta colunt_, they are resolved to live single, as [5930]Epaminondas did, [5931]_Nil ait esse prius, melius nil coelibe vita_, and ready with Hippolitus to abjure all women, [5932]_Detestor omnes, horreo, fugio, execror_, &c. But,

"Hippolite nescis quod fugis vitae bonum, Hippolite nescis"------

"alas, poor Hippolitus, thou knowest not what thou sayest, 'tis otherwise, Hippolitus." [5933]Some make a doubt, _an uxor literato sit ducenda_, whether a scholar should marry, if she be fair she will bring him back from his grammar to his horn book, or else with kissing and dalliance she will hinder his study; if foul with scolding, he cannot well intend to do both, as Philippus Beroaldus, that great Bononian doctor, once writ, _impediri enim studia literarum_, &c., but he recanted at last, and in a solemn sort with true conceived words he did ask the world and all women forgiveness.

But you shall have the story as he relates himself, in his Commentaries on the sixth of Apuleius. For a long time I lived a single life, _et ab uxore ducenda semper abhorrui, nec quicquam libero lecto censui jucundius_. I could not abide marriage, but as a rambler, _erraticus ac volaticus amator_ (to use his own words) _per multiplices amores discurrebam_, I took a s.n.a.t.c.h where I could get it; nay more, I railed at marriage downright, and in a public auditory, when I did interpret that sixth Satire of Juvenal, out of Plutarch and Seneca, I did heap up all the dicteries I could against women; but now recant with Stesichorus, _palinodiam cano, nec poenitet censeri in ordine maritorum_, I approve of marriage, I am glad I am a [5934]married man, I am heartily glad I have a wife, so sweet a wife, so n.o.ble a wife, so young, so chaste a wife, so loving a wife, and I do wish and desire all other men to marry; and especially scholars, that as of old Martia did by Hortensius, Terentia by Tullius, Calphurnia to Plinius, Pudentilla to Apuleius, [5935]hold the candle whilst their husbands did meditate and write, so theirs may do them, and as my dear Camilla doth to me. Let other men be averse, rail then and scoff at women, and say what they can to the contrary, _vir sine uxore malorum expers est_, &c., a single man is a happy man, &c., but this is a toy. [5936]_Nec dulces amores sperne puer, neque tu ch.o.r.eas_; these men are too distrustful and much to blame, to use such speeches, [5937]_Parcite paucorum diffundere, crimen in omnes_. "They must not condemn all for some." As there be many bad, there be some good wives; as some be vicious, some be virtuous. Read what Solomon hath said in their praises, Prov. xiii. and Siracides, cap. 26 et 30, "Blessed is the man that hath a virtuous wife, for the number of his days shall be double. A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband, and she shall fulfil the years of his life in peace. A good wife is a good portion" (and x.x.xvi. 24), "an help, a pillar of rest," _columina quietis_, [5938] _Qui capit uxorem, fratrem capit atque sororem_. And 30, "He that hath no wife wandereth to and fro mourning." _Minuuntur atrae conjuge curae_, women are the sole, only joy, and comfort of a man's life, born _ad usum et lusum hominum, firmamenta familiae_,

[5939] "Delitiae humani generis, solatia vitae.

Blanditiae noctis, placidissima cura diei, Vota virum, juvenum spes," &c.

[5940]"A wife is a young man's mistress, a middle age's companion, an old man's nurse:" _Particeps laetorum et tristium_, a prop, a help, &c.

[5941] "Optima viri possessio est uxor benevola, Mitigans iram et avertens animam ejus a trist.i.tia."

"Man's best possession is a loving wife, She tempers anger and diverts all strife."

There is no joy, no comfort, no sweetness, no pleasure in the world like to that of a good wife,

[5942] "Quam c.u.m chara domi conjux, fidusque maritus Unanimes degunt"------

saith our Latin Homer, she is still the same in sickness and in health, his eye, his hand, his bosom friend, his partner at all times, his other self, not to be separated by any calamity, but ready to share all sorrow, discontent, and as the Indian women do, live and die with him, nay more, to die presently for him. Admetus, king of Thessaly, when he lay upon his death-bed, was told by Apollo's Oracle, that if he could get anybody to die for him, he should live longer yet, but when all refused, his parents, _etsi decrepiti_, friends and followers forsook him, Alcestus, his wife, though young, most willingly undertook it; what more can be desired or expected? And although on the other side there be an infinite number of bad husbands (I should rail downright against some of them), able to discourage any women; yet there be some good ones again, and those most observant of marriage rites. An honest country fellow (as Fulgosus relates it) in the kingdom of Naples, [5943]at plough by the seaside, saw his wife carried away by Mauritanian pirates, he ran after in all haste, up to the chin first, and when he could wade no longer, swam, calling to the governor of the ship to deliver his wife, or if he must not have her restored, to let him follow as a prisoner, for he was resolved to be a galley-slave, his drudge, willing to endure any misery, so that he might but enjoy his dear wife. The Moors seeing the man's constancy, and relating the whole matter to their governors at Tunis, set them both free, and gave them an honest pension to maintain themselves during their lives. I could tell many stories to this effect; but put case it often prove otherwise, because marriage is troublesome, wholly therefore to avoid it, is no argument; [5944]"He that will avoid trouble must avoid the world." (Eusebius _praepar. Evangel. 5. cap. 50._) Some trouble there is in marriage I deny not, _Etsi grave sit matrimonium_, saith Erasmus, _edulcatur tamen multis_, &c., yet there be many things to [5945]sweeten it, a pleasant wife, _placens uxor_, pretty children, _dulces nati, deliciae filiorum hominum_, the chief delight of the sons of men; Eccles. ii. 8. &c. And howsoever though it were all troubles, [5946]_utilitatis publicae causa devorandum, grave quid libenter subeundum_, it must willingly be undergone for public good's sake,

[5947] "Audite (populus) haec, inquit Susarion, Malae sunt mulieres, veruntamen O populares, Hoc sine malo domum inhabitare non licet."

"Hear me, O my countrymen, saith Susarion, Women are naught, yet no life without one."

[5948]_Malum est mulier, sed necessarium malum._ They are necessary evils, and for our own ends we must make use of them to have issue, [5949]

_Supplet Venus ac rest.i.tuit humanum genus_, and to propagate the church.

For to what end is a man born? why lives he, but to increase the world? and how shall he do that well, if he do not marry? _Matrimonium humano generi immortalitatem tribuit_, saith Nevisa.n.u.s, matrimony makes us immortal, and according to [5950]Tacitus, 'tis _firmissimum imperii munimentum_, the sole and chief prop of an empire. [5951]_Indigne vivit per quem non vivit et alter_, [5952]which Pelopidas objected to Epaminondas, he was an unworthy member of a commonwealth, that left not a child after him to defend it, and as [5953]Trismegistus to his son Tatius, "have no commerce with a single man:" Holding belike that a bachelor could not live honestly as he should, and with Georgius Wicelius, a great divine and holy man, who of late by twenty-six arguments commends marriage as a thing most necessary for all kinds of persons, most laudable and fit to be embraced: and is persuaded withal, that no man can live and die religiously, and as he ought, without a wife, _persuasus neminem posse neque pie vivere, neque bene mori citra uxorem_, he is false, an enemy to the commonwealth, injurious to himself, destructive to the world, an apostate to nature, a rebel against heaven and earth. Let our wilful, obstinate, and stale bachelors ruminate of this, "If we could live without wives," as Marcellus Numidicus said in [5954]

Agellius, "we would all want them; but because we cannot, let all marry, and consult rather to the public good, than their own private pleasure or estate." It were an happy thing, as wise [5955]Euripides hath it, if we could buy children with gold and silver, and be so provided, _sine mulierum congressu_, without women's company; but that may not be:

[5956] "Orbis jacebit squallido turpis situ, Vanum sine ullis cla.s.sibus stabit mare, Alesque coelo deerit et sylvis fera."

"Earth, air, sea, land eftsoon would come to nought, The world itself should be to ruin brought."

Necessity therefore compels us to marry.

But what do I trouble myself, to find arguments to persuade to, or commend marriage? behold a brief abstract of all that which I have said, and much more, succinctly, pithily, pathetically, perspicuously, and elegantly delivered in twelve motions to mitigate the miseries of marriage, by [5957]

Jacobus de Voragine,

_1. Res est? habes quae tucatur et augeat.--2. Non est? habes quae quaerat.--3. Secundae res sunt? felicitas duplicatur.--4. Adversae sunt?