In such discourse we spent a great deal of time: little by little my views became enlarged, and as she spoke to me of the n.o.ble nature of some of the animals she had met with upon her travels, the acts of kindness she had received from them, and the deeds by which many of them had rendered themselves famous, I began to appreciate more justly the position which we Cats occupied in the scale of creation. Not that I was desirous of changing my lot for that of any other beast; but I learned to look with more humility upon myself and my tribe, and understood that many things were better managed in other countries, and by other animals, than _we_ managed them in Caneville.

But none of my good cousin's accomplishments pleased me so much as her perfect knowledge of music. She played several instruments in a charming and graceful manner, and her voice was so sweet that when she sang, and accompanied herself on the piano, it was most delightful to hear her.

She soon perceived my fondness for the science, and promised, if I were attentive and would follow her instructions, to teach me both to play and sing. No proposal could have been more pleasing to me. I thanked her a hundred times, and resolved to use my best efforts to do credit to my preceptress's instructions, and make myself mistress of so charming an acquirement.

I now began to study in good earnest. Under the guidance of my real friend I made great progress: I soon learned both to read and write; acquired a slight knowledge of other tongues, and made such proficiency in music as, in the opinion of my cousin, to perform many pieces with as much grace and dexterity as herself. I could sing, too, pretty well; but my voice was still weak and tremulous, and wanted the full tone and power of her own.

How happily the days now pa.s.sed! How thankful did I feel to my cousin, to my good mother, to my fortunate lot, which thus gave me the means of acquiring an education that placed me so far above most of my fellow-Cats!

These thoughts however awakened such pride in my bosom, that I began to look upon p.u.s.s.ies who had not been blessed with the same advantages as myself, as beings so inferior that I would scarce deign to look on them.

One or two Tommies, who ventured to cast tender looks upon me as I pa.s.sed through the streets or peeped out of the window, I treated with scorn; and when _one_, dressed in glossy black, ventured one day to speak to me as I was returning from my mother's house, I was even so rude as not only to set up my back at him, but actually spit in his face.

Conduct of this kind is certain to meet with punishment; and my mentioning the circ.u.mstance now is a proof that I have no wish to spare myself, and that I heartily regret having ever been guilty of such behaviour.

My pride was destined to meet with a severe fall, and sorrow was about to take the place of happiness.

I had been about a year residing with my cousin, when our city was visited with a terrible malady, which destroyed many of the inhabitants.

It commenced in the low and dirty parts of the town, where the poor curs and mongrels lived, in those miserable huts unfit for any dog, but which poverty obliged many of them to dwell in. It soon extended to the Cats'

quarter, and some of the best families were swept off by the infection.

Death was particularly busy in my own family: my father fell first, then two of my sisters, and, at last, my mother! Her loss was heaviest of all; and I had scarce recovered from the shock when my kind friend, my good cousin, also caught the disease, and quickly pa.s.sed away.

One would have thought that these various calamities, coming so quickly upon each other, would have destroyed me at once, or would have so far affected me as to kill me by degrees. The very greatest of them however seemed to produce a contrary effect, and I, who would sometimes mourn for days over a trifling misfortune, found myself sad indeed, but calm under these heavy losses.

The disease pa.s.sed away; and when I was sufficiently recovered to examine my position, I saw myself mistress of a fine house, left me by my poor cousin, with all her books, papers, musical instruments, and other things, too numerous to mention.

It was on looking over the store of articles which I became thus unexpectedly possessed of, that I discovered a bundle of letters, written in a bold, Cat-like style. Although the ink had become pale with time, and many parts were torn into holes, I yet managed to make out their contents, and learn that they had been written to my cousin in her youth by some Cat of n.o.ble birth, who had wished to marry her, but whose attentions she had for some reason refused. Perhaps she had regretted it afterwards, and for that reason had always lived alone; perhaps he had died, or left the city, or----a number of ideas came into my mind about him, and I even tried to imagine what he was like, and whether he at all resembled the Tom in black I had been so rude to some time before.

[Ill.u.s.tration: A SELECT CLa.s.s.]

I then began to consider what I should do with the packet. When I reflected that my cousin had never mentioned the subject, or even the name of her correspondent, I thought the only plan was to be equally silent, and, in order to avoid the remarks of others, put the letters in the fire; for, although I had read them myself, I felt quite persuaded she had no wish that they should be generally known. My resolution was soon taken; and casting the papers one by one into the flames, I watched them slowly burn until there was a little black heap of ashes on the hearth. The last letter was in my paw; I tore it in halves, and threw the first sheet on to the pile; the second was just going the same way, when my eye caught sight of two verses of a song, which I had not observed till then. I stopped and read them through: they were stanzas I had sometimes heard my cousin sing; and although I do not think so much of them now as I did at the time, I preserved them from the flames, and now insert them here in memory of so kind and gentle a Cat:--

With others I may frisk and play, With others I may talk and sing, With others pa.s.s the live-long day, And find, time flies with rapid wing: A friend (I seek not to deceive) I may, perchance, to others be; But, ah! my darling Puss! believe, I purr, I only purr for thee!

Thy form is stamp'd upon that heart, Which, true to thee, will beat till death; Thy praises, dear one that thou art, Will mingle with my latest breath.

Deign, then, to smile upon my suit, Nor heedlessly my vows refuse; But trust the honour of the brute Who seeks to win thee with his muse!

The education I had received, and the advantages I possessed in the way of books, joined to my present loneliness, induced me to carry out an idea that had more than once entered my head, and which my kind relation, when alive, had strongly encouraged. This was to get together the Kittens of some of my friends who were anxious to obtain knowledge, and impart to them some portion of that I had myself acquired,--in brief, to keep a school.

I never ceased to remember the words of my poor cousin when speaking on this subject. "My dear," she had often said, "it is the duty of every Cat in this world to make herself useful; she is sent here for that purpose, depend upon it; and although all Cats cannot be useful in the same way or to the same extent, some being placed in very different circ.u.mstances to others, _every_ Cat, rich or poor, _may_ do a certain amount of useful work, which if she neglects, she is wicked. No employment is so honourable as that of teaching to others the learning we have ourselves attained; for learning destroys prejudice, makes us better as well as wiser, and helps us to bear with greater fort.i.tude the calamities of life. As you have yourself acquired learning, you may therefore show your usefulness by imparting it to others; and depend upon it, no consolation will be greater to you in hours of misfortune, and even on your bed of death, than the thought that you have not spent your life in vain!"

It was with such sanction that I entered on my new career. Each day might I have been seen, perched upon a high-backed chair, with book in hand, examining my cla.s.s as it stood up before me; a rod within my reach to frighten evil-doers, the inattentive, and the careless; and sometimes, with a dunce of a Kitten before me standing upon a form, with an ugly cap upon her head, on account of some terrible breach of good manners, or an extra amount of stupidity in conning her tasks.

LOVE AND WAR.

Hum Villa, the house which had been left me by my deceased cousin, stood a little back from the main street, and although surrounded with smaller dwellings, was yet quiet and retired.

This was owing to its garden, and to several fine trees which shaded it; one of them particularly, an ancient oak, that stood by the right-hand corner of the grounds, cast its broad and knotted arms over a rustic bench, and made a delightful retreat from the warmth of the summer sun.

It had been the favourite spot of my departed relation: here she would come, in the long afternoons, and, reclining on the chair, with a book in her hand, read a page or two, then stop to listen to the birds which twittered in the topmost branches of the tree, or watch the busy insects at her feet, as they ran about intent upon their pursuits of business or enjoyment.

There could not have been a stronger proof of the goodness of her disposition, than to note the friendship which existed between her and the timid birds that frequented the garden. Perhaps it was the love of music in both that created a kind of sympathy between them, for I have often hidden myself within a short distance of her seat, in order to watch the proceedings of herself and feathered friends.

When they observed her alone, they would hop down from branch to branch, until they were almost within her reach, when, after hesitating a few moments to see that no other Puss was near, they would leap down upon her seat, upon the ground, upon her very shoulder, and begin their songs. Then followed such a twittering and chattering, while their wings trembled with excitement, until, at some noise perhaps which I myself had made, they would start from their places, and in an instant fly up, up, until they had put the whole height of the tree between them and the supposed danger. Often had I wished to obtain from them a similar confidence; often by various inducements of food and voice endeavoured to lure them down. My persuasions were all useless: they would put their little heads on one side, and talk a little among themselves, apparently debating whether it would be advisable to accept my invitation; but some old and cautious birds, I suppose, advised them to refuse my advances, for they never dared to partake of the meal I had spread for them until I had myself taken my departure.

Once only, after my cousin's death, when I was seated in the place, and in the att.i.tude she herself was accustomed to a.s.sume, did a venturesome little creature undertake to pay me a closer visit. But I was not flattered by the attention, for it evidently mistook me for her who was no more; as, scarcely had it perched upon the arm of the bench, at the opposite end to where I was sitting, and glanced at my face, than it flew off in the greatest alarm to communicate its terrors to its companions.

Although I thus failed to secure the confidence and friendship of my cousin's allies, there were other sources of amus.e.m.e.nt which this quiet nook afforded me. Unseen myself, I had a view of at least a dozen dwellings, and of the antics played by their inhabitants. It is astonishing to a Cat of perfect good-breeding to observe the propensity of the uneducated cla.s.ses to climbing and creeping about in the most elevated and dangerous positions. Within a few doors of my own house resided an old Tom, whose business I never could guess, but who was at home all day sleeping or smoking, and went out to his occupation at nightfall. Instead however of taking his rest within-doors, as one would have thought it most comfortable to do, he always had his doze in the open air, and no place would suit him but the very edge of the roof of his house, with his legs and tail generally swinging in the air. It was a wonder to me that he did not either fall or get pitched off; for his sons and daughters, an immense tribe of unruly Cats of all ages, were constantly on the roof too, chasing each other about, rolling over one another's backs, and often hissing and spitting at each other in a most shocking and boisterous way. Their poor mother had lost all control over them, and after trying, as I had often seen her, to get them into more orderly habits, she was forced to give up the struggle and allow them to take their own course.

These rude creatures had taken a particular dislike to me: first, because I had reproved the young p.u.s.s.ies for their behaviour, as being very unbecoming their age and s.e.x; and secondly, on account of my having forbidden them entering my grounds to chase the poor birds who lodged in the trees.

As to the latter particular, they at first set my wishes at defiance, paid no attention to my remonstrances, and actually one day came over the palings into my garden and carried off a poor little bird which had fallen from its nest. I was then obliged to have recourse to other measures. I hired an old Tom to scare them away, which he did so effectually that they never ventured to come within his reach. But their hatred to me became all the greater; and as from their lofty position on the housetop they could see right into my garden, whenever I ventured to walk there, they saluted me with all sorts of names, called me a "Prude,"

the "Schoolmistress," and anything else which they thought would annoy me, so that I was pleased to have the shelter of my arbour, where I could be out of sight and yet enjoy the fresh air.

It is always unpleasant to be at variance with one's neighbours, and no doubt animals ought to make many sacrifices to prevent it, and live in harmony together; but it would have been weakness to give up the happiness and even the lives of my favourite birds--the favourites too of my poor dead Cousin--in order to please the unruly offspring of my singular neighbour. A state of war might therefore be said to exist between us, and I was not long in feeling the effect of the malice I had unwillingly provoked.

And here I must speak of an adventure which, although quite innocent in itself, caused me a great deal of pain, and forced me to become, for a long time, a wanderer from my native city.

One evening, when seated in my arbour, after my pupils were dismissed, a servant came to inform me that a strange Tom was in the parlour, who desired to speak to me. I at once went in, and observed a tall, foreign-looking figure, who introduced himself as Senhor d.i.c.kie. He explained that he was an artist; had met my cousin in his own country; had been invited by her to pay her a visit at her house in Caneville, if ever he should come that way; that he had arrived that morning, and learnt to his surprise that she was no more; that he had nevertheless taken the liberty to come to the house, in order to see the surviving relative of one for whom he entertained a warm friendship, and express his sorrow for her death.

He said all this in so Cat-like a tone, and his beautiful green eyes had so tender an expression when he spoke of my poor cousin and looked at me, that I quite felt for him, and we had a long chat together about the goodness of her who was no more. We had talked ourselves into so good an understanding, that, when he went away, I asked him, as a matter of course, to come and see me again; nor could I indeed avoid inviting him to that house to which, had my cousin been alive, he would have been, no doubt, very welcome.

Senhor d.i.c.kie came often to see me, and every time he came the better did we become acquainted. We chatted together about all sorts of things; we sang duets together (he had a fine ba.s.s voice); and at last he requested permission to take my portrait, which he did, as represented in the Frontispiece to this Autobiography.

It was on occasion of one of these visits that, on a hot summer's afternoon, we sat in the arbour together. I do not know how it was we had walked out there, whether at his wish or at my invitation, but there we sat, and I remember thinking--for I said nothing--that nature had never appeared more beautiful. The flowers seemed to be tinged with more lovely colours; the green of the trees wore a richer and deeper hue; the b.u.t.terflies looked as if they had put on their most dazzling suits in celebration of some holiday; and the birds appeared to be holding high festival beneath the glowing heavens, and fluttered and twittered and sang with greater glee than they had ever seemed to do before. My companion's voice, low and deep at all times, was surely softer on that evening than I had ever known it; and his eyes wore a look of tenderness which made me cast mine to the ground, for fear he should discover the same expression in my own.

He had just placed his paw on mine, and opened his mouth with the intention of making a speech, which I am sure would have been a sweet one, when I saw his face change, his back set up, his tail swell out and move angrily to and fro, while his ears fell back, and an angry hiss whistled fiercely from his close-set teeth, as he looked towards the palings. I turned quickly round in the direction of his eyes, and, to my horror, saw one of the malicious creatures of the house close by, who was watching us with intense satisfaction through a break in the fence, and grinning at the tender scene which I have been attempting to describe.

When she saw she was discovered, she started off towards her own house, uttering, as she went, a hoa.r.s.e Mul-rou-u-u! but before she had got halfway there, my companion had leapt over the fence and pounced upon her, to punish her for her indiscreet curiosity and impertinence.

The screams of the young Puss, and the loud and angry tones of Senhor d.i.c.kie (for I grieve to say he swore dreadfully), brought all her family out-of-doors, who, seeing the chastis.e.m.e.nt, and without inquiring whether it was deserved, fell upon poor Senhor d.i.c.kie in a body, and so ill-treated him, tearing his very coat off his back, that he was forced to run limping away, nor did he ever again venture to make his appearance in the neighbourhood.

[Ill.u.s.tration: ONE TOO MANY.]

When my poor companion had thus been forced to take to flight, all the anger of the enraged creatures fell on me. As I made my way into the house, hisses, screams, the most horrible sounds the Cat tribe are capable of uttering, broke from the numerous family; and, what was worse, the uproar having brought all my neighbours out-of-doors, the greatest falsehoods were told them about the origin of the dispute, and I had not strength to raise my voice in order to explain the truth.

Finding there was no chance of obtaining justice, or even a hearing, from my prejudiced judges, I walked slowly into the house, apparently indifferent to what they were saying about my slyness and my cruelty; but as soon as I got in-doors all my calmness vanished. Sorrow, confusion, anger, so warred together in my bosom, that my Cat's frame could bear it no longer. I fell to the ground in a fainting fit, and was conveyed to bed by my servants, where I remained several days, a prey to as much unpleasant feeling as if I were really the cruel Puss my neighbours accused me of being, and as if it were really true that I had persuaded poor Senhor d.i.c.kie to fall upon the little spy out of spite towards her family.

REFLECTIONS AND RESOLUTIONS.

There is no place so conducive to reflection as the quiet of one's bedchamber, when confined to it by sickness. It is true, when the illness is violent, pain for the time excludes every thought beyond that of the actual suffering,--for pain makes us all very, very selfish; but when the bodily suffering is over, and our meditations come back into their usual channel; when we are in a state of convalescence, and are about shortly to resume our intercourse with the world, a crowd of thoughts comes trooping from our brains, and we live over again much of our former lives, and imagine beforehand scenes of our life to come.