Tessa Wadsworth's Discipline - Part 9
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Part 9

"He has a good salary in the bank."

"Mr. Ralph has the pure gold, but it is not in his word. I only wish it was. I always pray over my love affairs; they ought to come out all right."

"How do you know what 'all right' is?"

"I know what I want."

"I'll say to you what Miss Jewett always says _Wait_."

"What for? I don't know what I'm waiting for. Do you?"

"Yes."

"What? Tell me."

"_The will of G.o.d_."

"Oh!" Sue drew nearer as if she were frightened. After a while she spoke: "I'm so sorry for dear Mrs. Towne. She has every thing in the world but the thing she wants most. She said one day that she would be willing to be the poorest woman in Dunellen if she might have a daughter. She said it one day after we had pa.s.sed you; you were alone, picking up leaves near the corner by the brook. 'A daughter like that,'

she said, and she turned to look back at you; you were standing still with the leaves in your hand. Mr. Ralph didn't say anything, but he looked back, too. I said, 'That's Tessa Wadsworth.' Mrs. Towne said, 'Do you know her, Ralph?' and he said, 'I have met her several times.'"

Tessa had wiped her gold pen and slipped it into its morocco case; she closed her writing-desk as she said cheerily: "Now about this winter, Sue; what do you intend to do?"

"You don't know how horrid it is at home! Father always has his pockets full of bottles and he doesn't care for the things that interest me; all he talks about is his 'cases,' and all Aunt Jane cares for is house-work and the murders in the newspapers; Dr. Lake is splendid, but he's so poor and he's low-spirited when he isn't full of fun; and when his engagement with father is ended he'll set up for himself, and it will take him a century to afford to be married."

"Sue, look up at me and listen."

Sue looked up and listened.

"I pray you don't flirt with Dr. Lake."

Sue laughed a conscious laugh.

"Men flirt; they haven't any hearts."

"He has. You do not know the influence for evil that you may become in his life."

Sue's eyes grew wild, she clung to Tessa with both hands. "You sha'n't talk so to me. You sha'n't. You make me afraid. I'll try to be good. I _will_ try."

"How will you try?"

"I won't try to make him like me. I am sure that he would if I should try a little. I'll tell him about Stacey. Tessa, _I don't want to be an old maid._"

Tessa's eyes and lips kept themselves grave.

"I wouldn't think about that. I'd do good and be good; I'd help Aunt Jane, and go with your father on his long drives-"

"I'd rather go with Dr. Lake."

"Let your father see what a delightful daughter you can be. My father and I can talk for hours about books and places and people."

"Hateful! I hate books. And I don't know about places and book-people."

"And don't wait for Dr. Lake to come in at night."

"I do. I made him a cup of coffee last night."

"Who makes coffee for your father?"

"Oh father thought that I made it for him. But Dr. Lake knew!"

"I will read history with you this winter. Dine and I intend to study German with Gus Hammerton; you can study with us, if you will."

"Ugh!" groaned Sue, "as if that were as much fun as getting married."

"It may help along. Who knows?" laughed Tessa.

"I'm going to make Miss Gesner a visit next month. She asked me to-day.

But they are such old men? Mr. John Gesner is an old beau! Mr. Lewis is lovely, so kind and polite. And Miss Gesner is charming when she doesn't try to educate me. Their house is grander than Old Place and they keep more servants. I'll forget all about Old Place before spring. Mr. John Gesner likes girls."

"Sue."

"Well! Don't be so solemn."

"If I were to die and leave a little girl in the world as your mother left you, I would hope that some one would watch over her, and if the time came, through her own foolishness, or in the way of G.o.d's discipline, for a disappointment to come to her, I would hope that this friend would love her as I love you to-night. She would warn her, advise her, and encourage her! Don't go to visit Miss Gesner; she is selfish to ask you; you are bright and lively and she likes to have you to help entertain her friends-but you will not be so good a daughter to your father if your heart is drawn away from his home; the best home that he can afford to give you."

"There's danger at home and danger abroad," laughed Sue. "Don't you wish that you could put me in a gla.s.s case?"

"I don't know what to do with you."

"Oh, something will happen to me before long. I'll get married or die or something. I'm glad I had my things ready to go with the Townes, for now I have them ready to go to Miss Gesner's. I wish I had a mother and my little brother hadn't died. I'd like to have a _real_ home like yours! I wouldn't mind if it were as plain as this; but I'd rather have it like Old Place. Won't Nan Gerard have a lovely time? Such a long journey, and Mr. Ralph will be so attentive, and she'll be so proud to be with such a handsome fellow! Don't you like to be proud of people that belong to you? I am always proud enough to go out with Mr. Ralph."

"There is some one else to be proud of somewhere! Sue, can't you be brave?"

"Somebody will have what I want," said Sue. "I can't bear to think of that. I shall have to drive past Old Place in father's chaise with one horse, and I hate to drive with one horse! and see somebody in _my_ place in silks and velvets and diamonds and emeralds! And _she_ will have visitors from all over and Old Place will be full of good times and Mr. Ralph will let her do it all and be so kind to her! And she will be so proud and happy and handsome. Would _you_ like that? You know you wouldn't. Do you think that I really must give him up?"

Sue did not see the distressed face above her; she felt that the fingers that touched her hair and forehead were loving and pitiful.

"Don't talk so; don't _think_ so! Forget all about Old Place. Do you not remember Mrs. Towne's kindness? That is a happier thing to think of than the grounds and the house and handsome furniture."

"I wish I had told you about it before," sobbed Sue. "You would have made it right for me; then I wouldn't have thought and thought about it until it was _real_. And now I can't believe that it isn't true and the house is shut up with only Mr. and Mrs. Ryerson and the boy to look after things and Mr. Ralph gone not to come back-ever, perhaps. If Mrs.

Towne should die, perhaps he won't come back but go off and be a doctor; for he doesn't want to be married, he said so; he told his mother so. I don't want him to be a doctor and have bottles in all his pockets and smell of medicine like father and Dr. Lake. He wouldn't be Mr. Ralph any more."

"So much the better for you."

"Then you don't think that he's so grand."

She answered quietly, surprising herself with the truth that she had not dared to confess to herself, "No. I do not think he is so grand."

"Who is?"