Well wishes and bids of good night were delivered on a chorus of happy voices, but Chloe could only wave meekly as she trudged woodenly from the table.

She and Dell weren't even out of the dining hall before he bent and scooped her up into his arms. "I can walk," she whispered without looking at him.

"You're not even here," he didn't sound annoyed. "I know your nervous love." His lips brushed her temple, "You're having difficulty with what's going to happen, but all you need to do is one thing."

"What," her voice was too hopeful as her eyes found his.

"Trust in me." He crested the stairs and carried her down the long hallway to their room. "Would I ever let anything happen to you?"

She shook her head.

"Would I ever do anything to harm you?"

"No."

"Then trust in me tomorrow Chloe. I will protect you. I will help you through your first shift. We all will. We are your pack now."

Though the words were meant to bring comfort, Chloe lost the battle with trepidation as it stole through her leaving her feeling cold and alone.

Chapter 29.

Chloe stepped from the house, clamping a hand firmly against her flat belly to quell the b.u.t.terflies flitting within. Her long flowing white gown was a stark contrast to the dark cloudless sky that hosted thousands of brilliant stars all winking as they watched the ceremony begin. As was promised, there was no one there to meet her.

It's do or die! She drew in a breath and stepped down off the porch onto the gravel path that led deep into the woods. Torches alight with flame dotted the path lighting her way.

Should I be this nervous? When she took her first step, the music began. She scanned the area unsure where the speakers were hidden, but it was too dark. She'd only ever heard the song once before, but had instantly thought it striking. As the melody of Apocolyptica's 'Nothing Else Matters' washed soothingly over her, Chloe told herself that in fact, nothing else mattered.

In typical Chloe fashion, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her head as she set out for her destination. Her appearance didn't give away the fact that she was well and truly terrified.

The gravel barely crunched under her slippered feet as she made her way to the tree line. Once there, she stopped and wrung her hands together. Despite the warmth of the August Montana night she couldn't help but shiver as doubt once again seeped through.

I can't do this! She had to fight from taking a step backward. Dell. Just the mere thought of him evoked such warmth and feelings of safety that she couldn't help but take a cautious step forward. He's mine and I am his.

She drew in another long slow breath and exhaled more slowly. You can do this. She stared at the dark path that lay ahead of her. The torch light wafted gently in the warm night breeze and the flames flicked forward then back as if summoning her. She took a step, then another and continued on the trail until she could see a large fire blazing brightly in the center of the Blackbird stronghold. As she approached, her feet stuttered to a halt.

They were there, all of them and they were waiting on her. Still on the path, partially hidden by the forest she let her eyes scan the forms that stood arms-width apart to form a large circle in the center of the stronghold. AJ, Pony, Stevie, Cindy, Michael, Briggs, and many others. Some were in human form and others stood in the circle in the glory of their wolf figure. Mama stood in the center and Chloe's heart thundered to a halt when she caught sight of her own mother standing next to Mama.

Panic flared to life. Will she survive once she loses me too? She wrung her hands together as she stood struggling to call forth the steely resolve she was so well-known for possessing.

Frantically, her eyes searched the circle but caught no sign of Dell. She needed to see him, to know that he was there, that he'd always be there. When she still couldn't find him, she recalled his words. 'You're not dying Chloe, but being reborn. You'll still be the same person, born of the same mother. You won't be kept from your family, merely welcomed into a much larger one.'

She watched as Briggs bent his head and whispered something to Cindy, then he shifted into a large gray wolf and disappeared into the black forest.

What must have only been minutes felt like an eternity as Chloe considered for the thousandth time the ramifications of what would happen if she ran, if she walked away from the family, from the pack, from Dell. When she thought of giving him up, a heavy weight settled on her chest and made it nearly impossible to breathe. She frowned as she forced her feet forward.

When she stepped into the clearing, no one seemed to notice, but then Mama lifted her arms toward the rotund moon and everyone turned to stare at Chloe. She watched as Mama walked toward the fire, an eagle-wing fan in one hand and the other hand balled into a fist. Whatever she held in her fist, she tossed into the fire and when the wind shifted and blew a slight breeze toward Chloe, she inhaled the unmistakable scent of burning sweet gra.s.s and sage.

Chloe didn't take her eyes from Mama as she approached the stronghold. She was afraid that Dell wouldn't be there, that he'd changed his mind, that he didn't want her.

The music continued, and the circle parted as Chloe approached, allowing her access then reformed behind her when she stepped inside and walked confidently toward Mama. Mama's knowing eyes twinkled in the firelight.

When Chloe was close enough, Mama grabbed her hand and then took Bea's and pressed mother's and daughter's palms together. "Your mother's lips were the first to kiss yours when you came into this world. Today, they'll be last in this life as she sends you, with her blessing, on your journey to your new life as a member of our family, a member of our pack, and as mate to our Alpha."

Chloe couldn't stop the tears that sprang forth and as she bent to gently kiss her mother's lips. Bea swiped her daughter's tears away and whispered, "With my blessing baby, always with my blessing."

When Bea stepped back and accepted Cindy's hand at a place in the circle, Chloe was slammed with the weight of what was happening. She sawed in breathes as she tried to control her fear. She would change tonight and be changed forever. Sacrificing her way of life to accept the way of the wolf, and she would do it because she was bound inexplicably to the Alpha of the great Northwest Territory.

As if summoned up by her tumultuous emotions, the wind kicked up and twirled her hair and long flowing gown. She was staring at Mama when Mama's gaze shifted to something over Chloe's shoulder. She turned to find Stevie and Cindy placing a buffalo robe, on the ground next to the roaring bon-fire and in front of the entrance to the sweat lodge that had been erected in the center of the circle.

From behind, Mama took her hand and led her to it. Mama knelt and rubbed a hand through the thick coat of the robe before locking her hand in the fur and pulling it up at the edge. On the underside, where the hide was tanned, intricate designs and symbols marked the robe.

"This marks the days of our kind," Mama nodded, "the winter count of our pack." She held up a small hand, "Come."

Chloe knelt unsure of the protocol.

Mama eased her to a kneeling position in the center of the thick buffalo robe.

"Kneel," Mama commanded.

When Chloe did as asked Mama retrieved her eagle-wing fan and used it to draw smoke from the fire. She brushed the smoke down and over Chloe before she turned to the circle and dipped her head once. At the same time, all pack members that weren't already in wolf form shifted so that the entire circle, with the exception of her mother and Cindy's husband Michael, was now shoulder-to-shoulder wolves.

The wolves stepped closer and closer until there was no s.p.a.ce between them and they formed a tight circle around Mama, Chloe, and the sweat lodge.

A flash of movement caught her eye and Chloe locked her gaze on the scruff of gray fur that she could see circling just outside the gathering of wolves. The gray wolf was larger than the others, even larger than Briggs. It circled the gathering four times before Mama, still in human form challenged, "He who would claim this mate, do so now!"

The circle broke and the large gray wolf stepped through. Chloe's eyes found his and relief flooded her when she felt the warmth and serenity that only accompanied Dell's gaze.

Mama crossed to pull open the flap to the sweat lodge and motioned for Chloe to enter.

Chloe looked at Dell and while he couldn't speak to her, his warm eyes conveyed his love. She lifted a hand and smoothed it down his muzzle as he stepped closer to her and rubbed his face against her cheek.

Chloe's fingers trembled in his fur and she whispered, "Dell I'm afraid."

Over his shoulder, Mama lifted her arms toward the moon and shouted, "Mitakuye Oyasin!"

Chloe had heard the words before. The phrase was often spoken by many of the family members in prayer before meals. It meant, 'we are all related'.

To Chloe's astonishment, once the words left her lips, Mama shifted. Why Chloe had ever a.s.sumed Mama wasn't a shifter she didn't know and seconds later she didn't care as Mama threw back her head and loosed a glorious and triumphant howl. Before Mama's howl broke, one of the wolves in the circle joined in, then the next, and the next.

More and more wolves loaned their voices to the cacophony of howls and others started over until the frenzied howling grew deafening. Chloe didn't care. She was trying to keep her composure, to fight against her natural instinct to run.

Dell had warned her that struggling against the change would only bring her more pain. She'd resolved to not struggle at all, but talking about shifting and actually doing it were two entirely different things.

He licked her cheek then pulled back to stare at her before nodding and nudging her with his snout.

Turning, Chloe slowly entered the sweat lodge and pulled the flap closed behind her. Outside the wolves continued to howl and unsure what to do, she sat in the center of the empty sweat lodge and pulled her knees into her chest and waited.

The chorus of howls stopped abruptly and she sat a little straighter, straining to hear what was happening. The night was cool with a soft breeze, but inside the sweat lodge was becoming stifling. Chloe pulled at the collar of her gown and suddenly wished she could take it off. The small s.p.a.ce continued to grow hotter and Chloe eyed the ground around the edges of the lodge wondering if there was a s.p.a.ce for air to get in.

Sweat was beading on her forehead and dotted her nose and she pushed her sleeves up and hiked up her skirt to reveal her bare legs. When the room continued to grow hotter she reached for the door wondering if anyone would notice if she lifted the flap slightly to allow in some cool air.

A growl on the other side had her hand stilling. Then she realized that the heat was part of the change. She reclined back on her heels and stared at the flap dying to lift it. Instead, she lifted her hands and pulled on her dress. She heard material tear as she pulled at the collar and it was so hot that she didn't care.

She'd only meant to open the collar a little to allow in some air but once the material was away from her skin she had to have it all away. Her body was fighting so hard to stay cool that she was rapidly losing the energy to do anything else. The last of her strength was spent on jerking her once beautiful gown over her head until she was lying naked, flat on her back on the floor or the sweat lodge. No wonder it's called a sweat lodge! She lifted a hand to fan herself, but it didn't help at all.

Her tongue darted out to wet her parched lips, but there was no moisture to share. I'm so thirsty! She was laying thinking about the gallon of purple kool-aid she was going to drink when she got out when a sharp spasm of pain tore through her.

She gasped and clamped a hand to her abdomen hoping it was just her thirst, but seconds later it happened again. It started as jolts of pain shooting through her, but they seemed to grow in intensity and frequency the longer she stayed inside the lodge.

At first she tried to quietly breathe through the pains. G.o.d this must be what contractions feel like! She rose to her knees to rock back and forth steeling herself against the pain. It didn't help, nothing seemed to.

The recovery time between spasms grew shorter and shorter until she was curled on her side into the tightest ball she could form. Panting, sweat dripped off her face and she moaned in agony trying to keep from embarra.s.sing herself or Dell by screaming. She wished the wolves would start howling again so that it would m.u.f.fle some of her pain-filled noises.

Finally, there was no break from the spasms as they lengthened into one steady searing pain centered in her torso. She tried to remember Dell's instructions. Relax Chloe! she cursed herself, but was unable to keep from tensing against the agonizing pain.

She was breathing so rapidly that she was certain, almost hopeful that she'd pa.s.s out. No such luck! The pain intensified and she couldn't stop the scream of pain that was tore from her throat as the throbbing agony seemed to crescendo. She thought she felt a momentary breeze on her back but was too busy trying to keep from dying to give a f.u.c.k.

Sawing in another breath to let loose another scream it caught in her throat when hands lifted her head. She looked up and saw Dell kneeling over her. He lifted her head into his lap and smoothed her hair back from her face. He too was naked.

"Shhhh, baby. It's gonna be okay. I know it hurts." Tears welled in his eyes even as her own streaked down her cheeks. "Be strong Chloe, just a little bit longer." He pulled her up into his lap and cradled her rocking her back and forth in his arms. "I'm sorry Chloe! I should have never done this to you." His voice broke when she screamed again, "I'm so f.u.c.king sorry!"

Her heart nearly broke at the regret in his voice. He was sorry for what he'd done to her. That he hadn't asked her, that he'd simply taken her. Her body trembled as she fought against another scream, not wanting him to hurt knowing that she was in pain. She couldn't suffer through it for herself, but she would for him. She loved him and she'd do whatever it took to be with him.

"It's almost over," his voice was raw with emotion as he kept his head buried at her throat. "It's almost over."

She felt a searing pain in her right forearm and lifted it to see what had happened. There was nothing she could see, but it felt like her arm was on fire. She shoved at Dell's chest and tried to scramble away from him in a panic, but his solid arms locked around her holding her firmly in place. It was then that she realized he was there to help her. To keep her from running from the sweat lodge and embarra.s.sing herself as she had suspected she would have if he hadn't been there forcing her to stay.

A burning flare of pain exploded on her arm and she arched her back and howled in agony, her teeth ground tightly together to keep from screaming. Then something was happening. Her body was changing, she could feel it. Parts of her were becoming much cooler. It started at her feet and shot up her legs. She lifted her burning arm and stared at it only to discover the three familial bands that the pack carried were now emblazoned on her flesh as well.

She dropped her arm when her body dipped and Dell had to shift her weight to pull her tighter in his grip. Suddenly, the wolves outside howled in unison and when she blinked the pain was gone.

Voices carried to her, but they weren't spoken they were in her head. "Welcome daughter." She recognized Mama's voice instantly. Before she could process the words, a flood of welcoming sentiments flooded her brain. "Welcome sister. Welcome Aunty. Welcome friend." She recognized Cindy's voice and Briggs', but there were also several other voices that she didn't recognize at all. It took her a moment to realize that the welcoming words were being conveyed to her through the pack ties that now bound her to the Blackbird pack.

For long moments she lay in Dell's arms trying to catch her breath. Finally after long moments he pulled back and smiled down at her with tears in his eyes. "My Chloe." His eyes traveled down her frame, "My wolf."

He released her and she rolled to her hands and feet. She was suddenly aware of at least a dozen scents inside the small s.p.a.ce. Dell's tears, her pain, sweetgra.s.s, sage, smoke, the scent of several people who'd previously occupied the lodge. She could smell it all.

Dell slowly stood and crossed to the flap before pulling it open as he smiled down at her. He seemed so much taller now. He stepped out of the sweat lodge and motioned for her to follow.

She stepped out into the cool night air, but it wasn't as cool as it had been earlier. In fact it wasn't cool at all. It felt similar to the temperature inside the sweat lodge.

The wolves had stopped howling and stared at her as she exited the lodge. Her eyes found her mothers and she opened her mouth to speak to her but nothing came out.

Beside her Dell touched the top of her head and when she turned to look at him he shifted, dropping down to his wolf form but still towering over her. She stared at him and wanted to ask what had happened, but didn't have to. She saw the answer reflected in the amber liquid of his eyes where she stared into the reflective pools and a small brown wolf stared back.

Startled she backed up a step. Before taking a calming breath and approaching to stare at her reflection in Dell's eyes again. I'm a wolf! Holy s.h.i.t...I'M A WOLF!" She looked at her mother again but Bea simply stood with her hands clamped over her lips crying and nodding in approval.

Chloe let her eyes drift down her frame and was stupefied to be staring at what she knew were her feet and hands but were displayed as four small paws.

Beside her Dell nudged her with his head. She looked up and couldn't control herself. She jumped up and bit his ear. When he growled at her she pulled back and flashed what she thought was a smile but was reflected in his eyes as a showing of many pointed teeth.

Behind her one of the wolves whined and she cast a look over her shoulder before she turned, caught Dell by surprise, and bit him on the shoulder before she bolted for the moon bathed forest.

As she raced away she saw him following and recognized the smile in his eyes. The pack hesitated for only a moment before letting loose and racing with Chloe and Dell through the forest on her first run as a member of their pack...their family.

Chapter 30.

Walking hand in hand by the frozen stream, Chloe smiled brightly as the warm sun shone down on her and Dell.

Two months had pa.s.sed since the wedding and things were slowly settling down into a normal routine. She'd moved into the compound and her mother was delighted that her only daughter had finally found someone to share her life with.

The pack too seemed delighted that their Alpha had finally taken a mate and much to Chloe's trepidation they welcomed her into the family with open arms. She and Cindy had even become extremely close friends. So close in fact that Dell often commented that he wasn't sure he approved of the relationship. It was a comment that both Cindy and Chloe chose to ignore.

"You know," Dell laughed eyeing the stream, "when you were going through the change, Mama told me that you were like a parched creek bed that needed to be filled to become what you were meant to be."

Her smile widened as she peeked up at him, "Is that true?"

"Yes. That's something you'll come to learn is that Mama is quite the word-smith."

Chloe giggled and wrapped an arm around Dell's bicep leaning in to rub her cheek on his thickly coated arm. "Well that's good. Words are very powerful."

"And dangerous," he supplied.

They walked in amiable silence a few moments, their feet crunching in the snow, before Dell stopped and turned her to him. "No more secrets love. Nothing between us ever again. Preferably, that would include clothing as well." He winked at her and pulled her close.

Chloe caught her bottom lip between her even teeth. "Dell?"

He leaned down to kiss her cheek then nuzzle her neck, "Mmm?"

"I have one more secret."

He stilled, before slowly lifting his face to frown at her.

"I," she began then flushed. "Christ, how do I say this?"

"Say it," he demanded.