She remembered coming home from school one spring day to find Donnie pacing on the front porch, "Hey," he'd yelled as she approached. "If I catch Dell Blackbird staring at your a.s.s again, I'm gonna put him in the ground."

When Donnie would have had the opportunity to catch Dell checking her out she had no idea, but the fact that her brother had, meant that she hadn't been imagining the glances from Dell. She hadn't slept for days after the revelation, but Dell graduated early and she hadn't seen him again for years. She'd gone off to college and lord only knew where he'd gone. She hadn't seen him again until he'd strode into Donnie's funeral. She hated to admit it, but he had actually grown more handsome. His once unruly impossibly dark hair that always seemed to be in his eyes, was now shorn and brushed back without a hair out of place. But still black as pitch, Chloe mused. She'd always remembered him as a lithe muscular jock, but it seemed his frame had doubled in size. He was taller, with much broader shoulders, but cut and well defined. Too well defined. His mere presence in the room demanded attention and female appreciation.

G.o.d what would Donnie think? As if summoned up by the flash of pain that stole through her and compressed her heart in a painful spasm, the dark room suddenly lit with blinding light as thunder cracked the sky and sent lightening streaking across the heavens.

Chloe clenched a hand to her chest hoping the pain would pa.s.s even as a sob tore loose, and like the rain now flowing in steady rivulets down the gla.s.s windows, her tears sprang free.

G.o.d I hate him! I f.u.c.kING HATE THEM! It was all their fault. They had to have everything. The Blackbirds weren't used to being told 'No', so when her brother had stood firm and protected his wife they had destroyed him for it. Chloe squeezed her eyes tight against the pain.

Donnie and Beverly had been married a mere two years when Beverly had gotten lost in the mountains on a weekend camping trip with the girls. Donnie had been devastated when he'd heard. He formed his own search party and scoured the mountain against the wishes of the local law enforcement. Chloe had joined his crew and they'd retraced the parties' path all the way back to the campground. They'd searched for two days straight before the snow came and forced them back down the mountain. Donnie had only called it quits because she'd threatened to stay too.

The next morning the police came for Donnie at his mother's home, they'd found Beverly. Rather, Mace Blackbird had found her. She was dehydrated and near hypothermic, but alive. And that's when everything changed.

Mace checked on Beverly in the hospital and continued to do so, even visiting her at her and Donnie's home once she was well. Out of grat.i.tude Donnie didn't mind at first, but Beverly was disappearing to see Mace. The relationship had all the signs of an affair except for the fact the Beverly swore she and Mace were just friends.

Chloe knew differently. She watched them together, saw the way Mace looked at Beverly the way he protected her, the way his jaw clenched when Donnie would touch her. Chloe had confronted her, telling her that if she didn't want her brother to let him go rather than string him along.

'But I love him', Beverly had cried. 'With all my soul Chloe, I love your brother. I'm just confused. I need time. I want this to work.'

Chloe could tell then that Beverly was losing sleep over the whole ordeal.

Donnie asked Mace to stay away and he did so begrudgingly. At first Beverly was thankful, then resentful. Then it was discovered that Mace hadn't stayed away at all. He and Beverly were meeting in secret.

Chloe had begged Donnie to let her go, get a divorce, but Donnie refused. As a result of all the drama, his work began to suffer and the foreman had threatened to let him go. Finally it all came to a head and Donnie drove out to the Blackbird compound and confronted Mace only to discover Beverly there. Donnie and Mace fought and Donnie had been injured. Donnie spent the night in the hospital, Mace spent the night in jail and Beverly spent the night downing sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka.

When Chloe drove Donnie home from the hospital late the next night they found Beverly's body. She was lying in their bed holding her wedding ring in her hand. She'd been dead for hours, but it didn't keep Donnie from trying to resuscitate her.

Chloe remembered thinking then and there that nothing in the world could ever be more painful than watching your loved ones suffer. She'd been wrong. Losing a loved one after they'd been made to suffer was more heart wrenching than she could have ever possibly imagined.

Beverly's body wasn't even carried from the house before Donnie was gone, hunting down Mace. No one knew exactly what happened, but the bodies of both men were found the next day. The county Sheriff believed Donnie had shot Mace and then had been attacked by wolves. It all sounded too crazy. There were whispers that the shape shifting Blackbird pack had discovered Mace dead and had torn Donnie apart. The coroner must have heard the rumors as well, for he a.s.sured Chloe and her mother that Donnie had died from wounds sustained from a lone wolf, not a pack. 'A lucky shot' he'd called it, 'the one bite ripped through Donnie's jugular'.

"Lucky for who?" Chloe had snarled in anguish.

Thunder again rattled the sky. The great boom shaking the windows on the house, and Chloe cried all the harder because she knew no one would hear, no one would comfort, and no one would ever know that her heart had been ripped free of her soul.

She now knew how Donnie had felt staring at the lifeless body of his beloved wife. She too wanted revenge. She wanted one of them to hurt like she hurt, hate as she now hated, suffer as she suffered. She'd lost her sister-in-law and her brother. They'd only lost one.

It's not fair! She pounded a fist on the table as thunder cracked again. It felt so good to hit something. She pounded her fist on the table harder and then kept on pounding until she couldn't pound anymore.

Chapter 4.

At the Blackbird compound, Dell was having an equally restless night as the new Alpha. He'd given his pack the last five days to come to terms with the loss of their Alpha. He knew their sorrow and anger needed time, but he knew now that he needed to act to prevent any of them from seeking revenge. He'd summoned his pack and given direct orders that no member of the Lott family was to be harmed or treated with animosity. The pack was to stay away from the Lotts at all cost. The pack hadn't taken it well. They missed Mace and they wanted closure for their former Alpha's sake. Little did they know that not only was Dell keeping the Lott family safe, but his pack as well. Until he figured out the cause of his attack on Chloe's doorstep, he didn't want his pack getting too close to the woman or her mother.

Dell heaved a great sigh and rolled to his side to stare out the window and into the dreary night. It was late, but sleep refused to claim him. h.e.l.l, he missed Mace more than any of them ever would.

He'd been the quintessential little brother. One corner of his mouth lifted. He'd hounded Mace for years until Briggs came into his own and followed suit with Dell. After seeing how annoying pesky little brothers could be, Dell had reined it in, but he hadn't been so lucky with Briggs. Briggs was the baby after all and was therefore never afforded the opportunity to be hara.s.sed incessantly by a younger sibling, so he saw no problem with annoying Dell at every possible opportunity.

He'd sensed at the meeting that Briggs had taken umbrage with Dell's directive, but his little brother would do as he was told for it was his job to lead by example when it came to showing respect and submission to the new Alpha's orders.

Cindy, on the other hand, had snuck out before the meeting was over; leaving Dell unable to question her about the information she was obviously keeping from him. When the meeting concluded and he'd explained himself more thoroughly to a few of the more emotional pack members, he'd opted to let Cindy have this one. He'd get the information she was harboring from her in the morning. He was Alpha now, and as a member of his pack, Cindy was obligated to conform to his wishes, which included supplying him with any and all information he sought. He could have just contacted her telepathically, or-as he'd recently discovered-gotten access to her thoughts without her permission, but he wanted to be a fair leader, a just Alpha, and that meant giving her the opportunity to do the right thing.

He rubbed a hand over his firm abdomen, grateful that the queasiness had finally subsided. It was an effort even now, to keep from thinking about Chloe Lott and whatever it was that she had done to him. He prayed for her sake that it wasn't some form of medicine, or that it wasn't intentionally done. He could literally scent her pain from a mile away and he knew from personal experience that pain that great often led to extremely foolish decisions.

Chloe. His gut spasmed at the mere thought of her. Growling against the pain, he allowed himself to remember. He had forgotten about her. Forgotten he'd been interested in her.

She'd caught his eye in high school, and it wasn't her beauty that attracted him. And G.o.d had she been beautiful. His abdomen squeezed tighter. She still is. No, he'd been drawn to her character. She was new to the school. Where most teenage girls to a new area would have been doing their d.a.m.nedest to get in with the 'it crowd', Chloe hadn't. She seemed disinterested in the social sects of the high school and even less concerned with anyone else's opinion of her. His lips curled despite the pain in his belly. He remembered the day she'd arrived.

He was late for algebra and was racing for his homeroom when he saw her scanning a cla.s.s a.s.signment card at the end of the hall. She was eyeing the numbers at the top of each door, clearly lost. He intended on stopping to point her in the right direction when her shout had his feet skidding to a halt.

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

She was frowning down a hallway and when she disappeared down it, Dell raced to see what was happening. He was more than a little shocked to find her standing in the hall, hands on slender hips, scowling up at a senior football player that towered at least three feet taller. At her feet, a wiry undercla.s.sman with broken gla.s.ses was picking up a pile of books.

"You're so tough? Why don't you try picking on someone your own size?"

The football player snorted and took a challenging step closer to her. "Would that be you?"

Watching, Dell expected Chloe to back down but she didn't. Instead, she stepped closer to the boy. Whatever her retort would have been Dell never found out.

"No, that'd be me," He'd answered as he strode toward the trio.

Dell didn't know the football player, but he apparently knew Dell because he instantly threw up his hands and backed down the hall, "Look I don't want any trouble. It was an accident." The boy kept walking backward until he reached the end of the hall then he turned and disappeared down the corridor.

He didn't like bullies; despised them actually. While part of him wanted to chase the kid down and pound him into the ground, he opted instead to stay and offer the nerdy undercla.s.sman a hand.

He turned to find Chloe already on her knees helping to collect the books that were strewn about the hall.

"You alright?" she asked the kid.

"F-fine. Thanks for your help. No one's ever stuck up for me like that before."

He watched as Chloe rose and placed the few books she had on the kid's towering pile. Dell remembered wondering how the kid's pale boney arms were even able to endure the weight.

"My name is Chloe Lott."

The nerdy kid simply nodded, "I'm Jerry. Thanks for your help."

"Anytime," Chloe smiled, "and thank you." She'd turned to smile at Dell.

"Sure," he supplied lamely before a teacher had shouted from down the hall for the trio to "Get to cla.s.s!"

He didn't want to go, but then Chloe stepped to a door, double-checked her cla.s.s a.s.signment card and entered it leaving him alone in the hall with the nerd.

"You need help with that," he'd asked the undercla.s.sman.

When the kid confirmed that he could handle his load, Dell double-timed it to cla.s.s and spent the remainder of the day thinking about the new girl who wasn't afraid to challenge the bully.

After that day he'd watched her incessantly, wondering if her temporary lapse in sanity was a fluke. It wasn't. She defended the 'little guy' at every opportunity that presented itself and it was more than a little intriguing.

He watched her constantly, even shifting to follow her home under the cover of the woods. h.e.l.l, her brother had even caught him ogling her a.s.s a time or two. When he'd finally built up the nerve to finally ask her out, it had been too late.

The change that affects all shifters had come upon him suddenly and it hit him hard. So hard in fact that Mama was forced to pull him from school. He'd been forced to finish his senior year in the confines of the Blackbird compound. Convinced he'd fallen ill with some mysterious ailment, the school officials were more than willing to cooperate. Cindy spread the word that he'd graduated early and that was that. High school was over.

The change in him had taken so much time, energy, and patience that he'd soon given up on ever seeing Chloe again. By the time he'd mastered his abilities, it was too late. She'd already graduated and moved on. Even if she hadn't, he wouldn't have pursued her. He'd had a difficult enough time coming to terms with what he was; he'd have been unable to explain it to anyone else.

Chloe wasn't the only thing he'd missed out on. He'd been a national wrestling champion, but was forced to quit the team and refuse all thirteen of the scholarships that he'd been offered.

"You're different son," Mama had told him, "our destiny is not that of the average man. You have responsibilities."

He'd always known that they were different, that they were shifters, but it wasn't until he came into his own abilities that he'd realized just how different they were. While his brothers and sister dated, he'd shied away from it. He didn't want to drag anyone into his life, especially someone he cared for. Those first years of coming to terms with what he was had him questioning his own existence, and while things got better with time his life was still certainly something he wouldn't wish on any child or non-shifter mate of his own.

Mate of his own. Chloe. G.o.d, why couldn't Mace have mated another woman, any other woman. No, he'd gone after the only possible option that was destined to draw Chloe back into his life in the most deplorable manner possible. It's hopeless.

Chapter 5.

Chloe woke feeling just as c.r.a.ppy as she had when she'd finally fallen asleep a mere three hours earlier.

She made her mother a quick breakfast of jelly toast, scrambled eggs, and coffee before deserting her at the kitchen table to sneak off to what was once her bedroom but was now used by her mother as a makeshift sewing room.

Chloe rummaged through a sack of her old clothes she found in the closet. Her mother kept them on hand because as she liked to say, "You never know when one of my babies is gonna have to come home unprepared."

Finding a faded pair of yoga pants, an old gray hockey t-shirt, and a dingy pair of tennis shoes, Chloe dressed quickly. After beating the h.e.l.l out of her mother's dining table the night before, she'd discovered that her anger and pain desperately needed an outlet, and apparently none was more therapeutic than physical exertion.

The sky was still overcast when she finally pecked her mother on the cheek and double-timed it down the front steps to the road. A light fog hung in air and swirled her breath as she exhaled. The infinitesimal droplets felt refreshing on her face. She took a deep breath in, thankful as of late for every breath of fresh Montana air she could get. In the past few days it seemed a great weight had settled itself in the center of her chest, keeping her from breathing deeply or even comfortably for that matter. But occasionally, she stopped and forced herself to breathe deep, to take in the glory of fresh, clean, mountain air.

Popping in her ear buds, she scanned her I-pod as she walked briskly toward the outskirts of town. There was an excellent path through the woods not too far from the house. It wasn't intended as a jogging path, but she craved the challenge and the solitude.

She hit play on her I-pod and was delighted to find it already set to the perfect running song. 30 Seconds to Mars, how fitting. This whole life is nothing but one big beautiful f.u.c.king lie.

She didn't wait to hit the path to break into a run; instead she turned the I-pod as loud as it would go and loped to the woods.

Once she hit the tree line and was certain she wasn't being watched, she broke into a dead run. She raced up and around the curved path that led up the steep mountain side. Her steps didn't falter. She hurdled downed tree branches and side-stepped large mud holes. Her arms and legs pumped furiously and her heart beat just as hard to keep up. When the song ended she hit repeat and forced herself on harder. After a few minutes she didn't have to concentrate on the path anymore, instead her thoughts went to her brother. When the block of ice threatened to encase her heart she pushed herself harder and faster praying to outrun the pain even as she forced her thoughts from the painful loss of her brother to the easier to manipulate hatred she harbored for Dell Blackbird.

The f.u.c.king nerve of him to think he had any right showing his face at my brother's funeral! Her cheeks burned with anger and exertion. She gritted her teeth and pushed harder, faster. Somewhere she'd stopped trying to dodge the mud puddles and now blazed through them, sending brown murky water shooting up to cover her pants and light blue jacket.

'It's a beautiful lie. It's a perfect denial. Such a beautiful lie to believe in...'

Tears threatened and still she pushed herself impossibly harder, not even slowing to unzip her jacket and toss it aside not even caring whether she found it on her trek back home.

'It's time to forget about the past, to wash away what happened last. Hide behind an empty face, don't ask too much just say...cause this is just a game'

She ran hard even as she fought to retain control over her emotions. She'd had so little control over anything in the past few days; surely, she could control herself, her heart. It was all she had left.

Such a beautiful lie to believe in. It's a beautiful, beautiful LIE MAKES ME...

She fell to her knees, sliding through the mud for several feet before her fists curled deep into the earth forcing soil hard under her nails. The pain of it felt good, a refreshing reprieve from the pain in her heart that she could do nothing to cure. She fought to hold back her emotion to suck it down, but it wasn't the pain that sent her over the edge it was the anger.

On her hands and knees, hip deep in wet earth she threw back her head and screamed with all the misery and rage a soul could expel. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Why? Why couldn't she have saved her brother? Why hadn't she seen it coming?

"Aaaaagh!" Sobs wracked her body as she pulled her fists back and crossed them over her chest. Please G.o.d let the ache stop! She sucked in a breath as warm tears stole down her cheeks, "Please just f.u.c.king stop!"

She lifted a muddy hand to cover her mouth, while the other ripped out her ear buds. She sat rocking back and forth and simply cried. She cried until feeling all the pain, anger, and hatred left her exhausted. Taking in a long breath, she laughed through her tears at herself. How in the h.e.l.l would she explain her appearance to her mother?

She jumped when heard a rustling behind her. Spinning quickly, embarra.s.sment stole through her at the spectacle she knew she would be to any pa.s.serby.

At first she was relieved to see a large dog standing in the tree line, but her relief quickly faded when she realized it wasn't a dog at all. It was a huge gray wolf.

f.u.c.k! She scanned her surroundings quickly searching for a stick, or branch, or rock, or anything resembling a weapon. She found none. She slowly rose to her feet remembering an article she'd read somewhere that animals didn't like to attack anything larger than them. s.h.i.t, that was bears...wasn't it?

She took a tentative step backwards, her eyes still scanning the area for a weapon even as she noted the posture of the wolf. Tail's not wagging, definitely not a good sign. Or is that only for dogs? G.o.d why didn't I pay attention to that d.a.m.n wolf biography on the nature channel?

It felt a little odd to have her heart clenching from an emotion other than anger and sadness. Chloe took another step backward even as she thought. Is it sad that fear is a little invigorating?

Her heel caught on a root and unable to catch herself, she dropped to her a.s.s with a wet thud. When the wolf took a step closer she scrambled backward until her back hit a tree and that's when it happened.

Her eyes locked with the wolf's and that same peaceful serenity she'd felt the night before staring at Dell engulfed her. The wolf stepped closer and Chloe slumped back against the tree resignedly, no longer caring whether the beast intended to tear her to shreds. She couldn't tear her eyes from his.

Again that same warm amber gaze stole her torture, leaving her at peace. Maybe he's going to kill me, she thought with little emotion. Maybe this is the peacefulness that people say washes over you just before you die.

If it was, she didn't care. She'd welcome death if it meant feeling this tranquility forever.

When the wolf approached, Chloe lifted a tentative hand and held her breath. The wolf seemed to notice, but didn't take his eyes from her. When she buried her fingers deep in the thick matte of grey fur they both jumped. Chloe grasped her wrist against the electric shock she'd felt. She stared at the wolf that retreated to the tree-line before she scrambled to her feet. She didn't look back as she made a mad dash down the hill side. She cut through the woods until she found the path, her head felt fuzzy, but she shook it off and raced as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn't hear the wolf in pursuit, but that didn't mean she had any intentions of slowing.

At the bottom of the hill she dashed out into the road and had to jump back just as quickly as a car sped past sounding its horn loudly, perturbed at her idiocy.

She turned and huffed great sawing breaths as she eyed the forest. No sign of the wolf, but just to be safe she walked the shoulder of the road all the way back to town.

By the time she arrived at her mother's she was shivering. Her arms clamped tightly around her, she'd had designs on hosing herself off before going in, but opted against it. The last thing her mother needed was to have to take care of a sick daughter.

Chloe eased the front door open, toeing off her muddy running shoes just outside the front door. She was tiptoeing through the sitting room when her mother's voice halted her.

"Jesus! What happened to you?"

Chloe stilled, righting her hunched shoulders as she turned to eye her mother then dropped her eyes to her mud encrusted running clothes. "Oh...uh nothing. Well, something." She lifted her eyes and caught a hint of her mother's growing impatience as she stumbled on, "I went for a jog on the mountain path and I tripped on a branch."