Patrick and Chris stood up in front of a presentation board powered by the iPad in Patrick's hand. I had no intention of removing my a.r.s.e from this seat, I was simply there to offer advice and information from a mother's point of view and answer any questions about the ideas I had already put forward. Standing in front of the room was about as appealing to me as s.h.i.t on toast, so it was not going to happen. Patrick began describing some of the major structural renovations, including converting some rooms into multiple bedroom apartments. All the board members seemed to agree as to the importance of having a large number of different room configurations.

"We want to divide the rooms into different categories. Obviously, there is not a typical family model, so trying to cater for all families in one room could be rather difficult. Therefore, we want to produce rooms designed for families with babies and young children, rooms for families with older children, and rooms for families with teenagers. Now, again this will not cater to everyone, so we also want to produce a number of rooms that can be easily configured as needed, for instance, bedding configurations that can accommodate for both younger children as well as older children. This could possibly be addressed by using bunk beds and portable cots. When discussing these options with Alexis, she was of the mind that flexibility in terms of bedding configuration was a key factor when parents are looking at booking for a holiday."

Gareth interrupted "Why is that?" He looked directly at me. I knew he would try and put me on the spot. I cleared my throat.

"It's really quite simple, Gareth. When you have children, you'll understand that when they sleep everyone is happy. No one wants to go on a holiday only for it to be ruined by grumpy children because their sleeping arrangements have been less than perfect." I smiled politely at him. A few of the men nodded their heads. Bryce smirked at me, but held something much more than approval that only I could read.

Patrick then went on to discuss interior design, in the form of paint colour schemes and carpeting. "Alexis, came up with a brilliant suggestion of having carpet put down in either the living area or children's room that resembled a Twister game, I have looked into a few businesses that can produce such a design." Patrick touched the screen and showed a projection of what the Twister carpet might look like in a renovated room. A few of the board members raised their eyebrows and one even said he'd like to get something like it for his own home. I laughed, I wouldn't mind some too actually.

Chris then interjected his expertise of what a great selling point this particular idea could prove to be. "I've done some research, and although I have found some mats on the Internet that grasp the same concept, nothing like this has been implemented into permanent flooring, nor has it been done anywhere in the world at a hotel, that I am aware of." The board unanimously agreed to go ahead with the idea, including Gareth. However, he was not as enthusiastic as the others.

Patrick flicked through some more pictures of possible room designs then put forward the idea that Nate had come up with that morning. "I haven't had a chance to look into this, but Alexis also mentioned maybe having a couple of special rooms, that have themed bedrooms for the kids. Like a princess room decked out in pinks and with a princess bed etc. And a room designed for boys, with maybe a car style bed and race track."

Gareth interrupted again, "That is not going to work."

It was Bryce who spoke up this time. "Why is that, Gareth?"

"Because a girl is not going to want to sleep in a car room and vice versa, we do not have enough rooms to cater for a large number of aspecially themed rooms', it would be costly and you would find some rooms will not be used simply because the family does not have the right gender of child to fit the availability of the room." A small number of the men tended to agree, which was fair enough, I could see his point. But he was not thinking about ways of getting around this or compromising.

Bryce looked to me, and I think he could tell I had something on my mind. "Alexis, did you want to add anything?"

"Well, yes if I could." Gareth leaned back and crossed his arms. "I completely understand what Gareth is saying, but there are ways you can get around that. Look, I think the idea from a marketing point of view to have extravagantly themed rooms could definitely be a big selling point. It's different and special, and parents especially want their holidays to be special. They want their children to remember the experience. Obviously, you don't want rooms being unused simply because of a painted theme not suiting, but you don't necessarily have to just have boy-themed rooms or girl-themed rooms. Why not have universal unis.e.x rooms to suit multiple personalities." s.h.i.t, did I just say that? s.h.i.t, keep going. "Um, for instance a room designed like a magical forest, or a safari, beach, circus, etc." s.h.i.t, I don't want to speak anymore.

It was obvious Gareth had noticed my choice of words. His look toward Bryce then back to me was bordering on furious. A part of me thought Gareth was no longer in the room, instead Scott appeared to have taken his place. s.h.i.t, who is he? Maybe he needs a collective name too, maybe in circ.u.mstances like this he can be Garott! A chill went up my spine, and I looked away.

"Exactly," said Patrick. "There are definitely ways to avoid being gender specific or as Alexis put it, to suit multiple personalities." Oh, Patrick, shut the f.u.c.k up.

Bryce sensed my unease and pushed to move along. "Okay, Patrick, maybe you could work on some designs of rooms showing these unis.e.x themes and we can decide on them at the next meeting?"

"Sure. Okay, moving along then to safety. As you can see on the tablets in front of you, there is a list of some minor changes and implementations which will need to be addressed in order to comply with Australian Safety Standards." The board members all perused the list, and then Patrick proceeded to go through some figures in terms of cost projections, this basically continued until the end of the meeting. Overall, apart from my stupid, stupid, Freudian slip, it went quite well.

Afterwards, Patrick and Chris smiled and congratulated me on backing my ideas. A few of the board's members introduced themselves properly and asked about my role as a mother.

Bryce was going over some of the cost projections with one of the men, so I decided to pack up the drinks tray and take it to the kitchenette while he was busy. I don't really know why I did it, housekeeping would've cleared it up, I think it was just my natural need as a mother to tidy up after people. I placed the tray down next to the sink and went to leave the room when Gareth blocked the door. Oh, f.u.c.k, play it cool, Alexis. Don't bait him.

"Hi, Gareth." Now that's not playing it cool, he knows you don't like him, Alexis.

"Did you enjoy yourself in there?" He sneered.

"Um, no I wouldn't say I enjoyed myself. I'm just happy to be able to help." I walked closer to him as if to say I was finished and wanted to leave the room, but he didn't move from the door frame.

"I think you are more than happy to stick your nose into things that don't concern you." Oh, s.h.i.t, stay calm. Rea.s.sure him maybe.

"Look, Gareth, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we could just put it behind us and start over?"

"I don't want to start over, Alexis." When he said my name, he emphasised the aS', hissing like a snake. "I want you gone. I want you to stay away from Bryce. He doesn't belong to you."

s.h.i.t, it's Scott. "Gareth, I'm not a threat. I don't know why you think I am. I love Bryce and I would never hurt him." I took another step closer, not sure if it was in the right direction. Every ounce of me was saying I should be stepping backward, as far away from him as possible. The problem was, I was boxed in, and I thought that maybe if I could show him that I was not afraid of him and not a threat, he might relent.

"Do you think he loves you?" I know he does, but should I answer that?

"I...I...I'm not sure."

"Well, he doesn't, so if you know what's good for you. f.u.c.k off and get out of his life!" He glared at me with a look I could barely describe. It was terrifying, the most hated expression I had ever seen in my life. He turned and left room, leaving a chilly, frosty sting that bit at every inch of my body. I leaned over the sink and put my head down, trying to bury my fear and gain back control of my senses.

"Alexis, what are you doing? s.h.i.t, Hunny are you okay?"

Bryce rushed to my side and lifted my head from the sink. I was still trembling from Garott's presence. "Alexis, what's wrong? You're shaking." Don't tell him, he'll go insane; he'll probably do something that neither of us wants him to do. No Alexis, you can handle this.

"I'm fine, I was just nervous, and had a moment."

"Hunny, you were terrific. The board was very impressed."

"I f.u.c.ked up about Gareth, though. Where is he?"

"I don't know, he disappeared, and so did you. I panicked for a second." He hugged me tightly.

"I'm fine, Bryce. Honestly, I'm fine. I'm just exhausted. I think I need something to eat and a long hot bath."

"You're staying tonight?" His face lit up.

"Well, yeah, if it's alright with you. I can always go home, though." I playfully pouted.

"If I had my way, Hunny, you would be calling here your home."

"Hey, about that, I spoke to Rick yesterday, and he suggested he keep the house, and I move in with you..."

"Hang on, Rick suggested you move in with me?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. I told him I was going to move in with you at some stage, but where? I wasn't sure. He said there was no point in the both of us moving out and selling the house when he wanted to keep it. So, I was thinking that I would start staying over a few nights a week and then easing the kids into staying over as well, and they could switch between us and Rick. What do you think?" Oh, f.u.c.k, is it too much too quick? I know he said he wanted me to live with him, but now that it can happen he might no longer want it. He grabbed my face, placing an eager kiss on my lips. Then he lifted me into his arms and carried me out of the door. Most of the men were still in the foyer, together with Garott. I giggled and blushed as he whisked me past them.

"Good evening, gentlemen," Bryce said with pride.

"Good evening," I said softly, still embarra.s.sed by his bold display. I tried not to look at Garott, because I knew what I would see in return would churn my insides. The men all smiled and headed for the elevator as Bryce walked toward his apartment. As he punched in his security number, I looked over his shoulder. Garott was standing there watching us, so I kissed Bryce, lacing my tongue with his. Alexis you are a f.u.c.king idiot. He didn't move and continued to stare at us until the door closed. I figured that he needed to see it, maybe then he'd back off.

"Welcome home, my love."

We were standing at the entryway. I looked around, and smiled. "Say that again."

"Welcome HOME, my love." Home, could this really be my home? Yes I think it could. Maybe when the evidence of my children and myself become a permanent part of the decor, then it could be home. "We will change whatever you want to change..." He stepped down into the lounge and swung me in his arms as he turned to look at the apartment. He was speaking quickly and excitedly as he went over its features. "If you want to change the colour, and the furniture, you can. We can go shopping together and you can pick whatever you like. I have already organised contractors to fence off the pool for the kids and to reinforce the bal.u.s.trades to make them higher. Do you want Twister carpet? We can get that too."

"Bryce, Bryce, stop." I laughed at him. "I don't want to change much at all, I love it as it is. Maybe some photos up on the walls? And yes, Twister carpet." I laughed again. "But other than that, it's perfect, you're perfect, and we're perfect." I leaned closer to kiss him again.

"Yes we are, perfect together. Thank you, my love."

"For what?"

"For giving me a chance."

"Bryce, you didn't need it. The moment you smirked at me wearing hot white chocolate, was the moment that cemented our future together, I didn't know it at the time, but now it could not have been more clear.

"You had me at as.h.i.t! s.h.i.t! Geezus, that is Hot!' I couldn't have agreed with you more, Hunny, you were the hottest thing I had ever laid eyes on." I looked at him with a strange expression, and then I remembered that was the first thing I had ever said to him. "You still are the hottest thing I have ever laid eyes on, and you always will be." He pressed his lips to mine, and we didn't separate them until we were naked and lying in his bed, our bed together.

The next day was just as busy as the previous one. I'm not sure if Bryce's heavy workload was due to our time away, or whether it was inevitably from the storm that subsequently followed the calm. I had been busy organising meetings for him for the rest of the week, so I had not thought much about the task of breaking the news to the kids that evening. I guess there was no real point in trying to plan it because how the kids might react would likely be completely different from each other. I did feel that I wanted to tell Nate, alone, first. For some reason I felt he already knew to an extent, that he would understand it better, and that he would appreciate being treated more like the eldest child. Then maybe he could possibly help Charli understand it. After 6 p.m., I sucked in all the courage I had and made my way home, which really wasn't my home anymore. Bryce had walked me to the car and kissed me through the window, hesitating to let go even while I was reversing. I watched him stand there through the rear-view mirror with his hands in his pockets looking glum, which only dampened my mood further.

Rick and I had already decided to organise pizza for tea, it was sort of a way to lighten the mood around the house, and show the kids we were still friends. When I walked in the door, I pulled Rick aside to tell him my thoughts about breaking it to Nate, he agreed with me so put our plan into motion.

"Charli, have you got homework tonight?"

"A little bit, Mum."

"Well, why don't you do it now? Then after dinner, we can paint our nails and put on a face mask together."

"Okay, cool." She skipped off to her room. Good, that has Charli Bear organised.

"Nate..."

"I don't have any homework, I did it yesterday."

"No, no sweetheart. Can you come into our room for a minute? We want to talk to you about something."

"Sure." He slowly and with uncertainty made his way into our room. I sat down on the bed next to him and put my arm on his shoulder. Rick stood opposite him, leaning up against the wall, then before Rick spoke he smiled at me. That's right Rick, smile, like we said.

"Mate, your Mum and I have something we need to tell both you and your sister. We thought that seeing as you are the oldest and more mature, we would tell you first. But also, because your little sister might need you to help her understand." Rick ran his hand along his chin.

"You're breaking up, aren't you?" It came out so matter of fact, yet his head was down and his shoulders had slumped. I squeezed him tighter.

"Yes, Nate, we are. We just don't love each other like a husband and wife should anymore, but we still love each other as friends, and we still love you and Charli just as much as we ever have."

"Is that because you now love Mr. Clark?" Oh Holy f.u.c.k, he is so tuned in sometimes.

"No, that's not the reason...But yes, I do love, Mr. Clark." I kissed the top of his head, and Rick shot me a dirty look. "Rick, he deserves to know the truth, he is obviously mature enough to hear it." Rick's eyes widened and I think he thought I was going to tell Nate about Claire, I shook my head as if to say agood on you, as if I would do that'. "Nate, your Dad and I stopped loving each other years ago, it's just taken us a long time to realise it and move on."

"So, what does that mean?"

"It means that you will now have two homes, and you can choose when you want to stay at either of them."

"Are you going to live in that big apartment with Mr. Clark?"

"Sweetheart, you can call him Bryce, and yes, eventually I will, but not straight away. We can go and have sleepovers a few times a week until you decide you want to stay there more often." He didn't say anything and shrugged his shoulders. Charli called out to Rick, so he left the room to see what she wanted. As soon as the door closed, Nate looked up at me.

"Mum, why don't you love Dad like a husband anymore?" He searched my face for a truth he knew was there but was not being given to him. I knew that if I didn't give him just a part of it, he would feel hurt, and I didn't want him to feel any more hurt than what he was feeling at that moment.

"Nate, sometimes husbands and wives do things that hurt each other, and when they do hurt each other it's hard to forgive them and love them as much as you used to."

"Did Dad do something to hurt you."

He was going to find out soon enough, so I guess preparing him just a little would not hurt. "Yes. he did, darling. A long time ago, but he was sorry and he didn't mean it. Then, I did something to hurt him back. You see, it's not good doing things to hurt each other, and that's why we need to move on." He nodded and pressed his lips together as if to give me the impression he understood. "Not much is really going to change, Nate. You will still go to the same school every day, you will still go to the footy with Dad. Hey I might still go with you too. Someone has to cheer the Mighty Bombers on louder than Charli, don't they?"

"I don't think you are louder than Charli."

"I can be." He smiled. "Do you have anything else you want to ask me?"

"Are you going to marry Mr. Cl...I mean Bryce one day?"

"Maybe, but that's a long way off. You don't have to worry about that."

"I'm not worried about that, Mum, I was just wondering." I gave him a huge hug; he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.

"I love you, my little man."

"I'm not little."

"No, you're not, and you know what? You've just proven that. Maybe I should call you my abig man' or my aincredibly brave mature man'?" he rolled his eyes. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Yeah?"

"Help Charli understand if she needs it. I have a feeling it might be hard for her."

"Yeah, I know, Mum."

We sat Charli down after dinner and explained it to her. Of course she didn't understand how Rick and I didn't love each other like that anymore. She cried when I said I would not live here eventually, because she thought she would have to leave all of her things behind. Nate had cuddled her and said that she would now have two lots of everything, which brightened her eyes. He also told her she could have a pony, which made me nearly pa.s.s out. I had to explain that ano, she could not have a pony, unless it had the words amy little' in front of it, was approximately ten centimetres high, purple and smelled like grapes.

When I tucked Charli into bed that night, she begged me to love Daddy again. It destroyed me internally because it was just something I could not do, not in the way she wanted me to, anyway. I told her that everything was going to be okay, although, I knew it wouldn't be for her, not for a long time, especially after RJ was introduced. I decided I would call Claire when Rick was in the shower and tell her that the time wasn't right to tell Rick at the moment. I dialled the number Lucy gave me.

"h.e.l.lo."

"Claire, it's Alexis."

"Oh. Hi."

"Listen, I think we should wait to tell Rick."

"You've decided you don't want to help me, haven't you?"

"No. It's not that at all. I just don't think it's the right time to tell him. A lot is happening at the moment, and we need to sort it out first, before he is told about RJ."

"Yeah, I get it. It's been five years. What's a few more months?"

"Claire, you were the one who wanted to keep it from him, remember? Look, just let us sort out what we have to first, then I'll ring you. Probably in a few weeks."