"Ohh, I know, because I was ready to drag you in the bathroom at the airport!"

"Well, be prepared to have my c.o.c.k inside you all night, because baby, I plan on making love to you until we pa.s.s out from exhaustion."

"I look forward to it." I say smiling at him.

Crashing our lips together in a fury of pa.s.sion, I eagerly dip my tongue into his mouth. The feeling of his tongue twisting against mine is almost enough to have me coming right then and there. Cane grinds his hips into mine, stimulating my c.l.i.t with his hard growing erection.

I can feel my first o.r.g.a.s.m building inside me, eager to be released. Rubbing against me harder and sucking on my neck and collarbone is all he has to do to push me over the edge. Slamming my head back against the shower wall, I scream out in pleasure as the o.r.g.a.s.m washes over my body.

Before it's over, Cane is sliding his c.o.c.k deep inside of me, feverishly pumping in and out. The walls of my v.a.g.i.n.a are still pulsating, squeezing his d.i.c.k, and making him groan out in pleasure. "You feel so f.u.c.king amazing...G.o.d, I missed you."

I'm so consumed with pleasure; I can't form a single word, all I can do is moan, "Mhmm." Digging my nails into his back and hungry for another o.r.g.a.s.m, I rotate my hips, meeting Cane's thrusts. The water is starting to go cold, but I don't care.

Working his mouth back up to mine, Cane kisses me as he runs his fingers through my water soaked hair. Fisting it in his hand, he holds the back of my head, while pressing his lips against mine with so much intensity it's as if we need each other to breath. Without each other's kisses and touch, we wouldn't survive.

This time, we finish together. Our screams are bouncing and echoing throughout the bathroom. It's music to my ears, the sweetest most erotic sound caressing us as we both come down from our earth shattering o.r.g.a.s.ms. I turn off the cold water, leaving only the hot water running, so the shower is steaming as we finish washing our bodies. After showering, we make our way into the bedroom, only taking a few seconds to dry our bodies off. I twist my hair into a bun on top of my head and join Cane in bed.

It's been twelve long months since we have been able to sleep in each other's arms. I haven't had a good night's sleep since he left, and Cane has made it very clear in the many letters he's written me; that he's not had a full night's sleep since he landed in Afghanistan. Leaning up on my elbows, I stare into his gorgeous baby blues. "I love you; I'm so happy you're finally home."

Reaching up and caressing my cheek, Cane smiles up at me with his s.e.xy panty melting smile. "I love you more baby; I missed you more than you'll ever know. Thinking about this moment right now is the only thing that helped me get through this year without you."

We spend the rest of the night making love, going nice and slow; taking our time to savor each other.

October 19th 2005.

Cane has not been home two full months, and he's already received new orders to deploy. His Brigade will be heading to Iraq next week, so he has to fly to base to get ready. I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. I just got him back, and now he's leaving again. I hate that all these weeks he's been back I haven't been able to spend every moment with him. I've had cla.s.ses and work four days a week. The only thing that helped was Cane working at the bar, so we were able spend a few extra hours together whenever our shifts fell on the same day and time.

Tonight is our last night together; he has to be at the airport by six a.m. We packed all of his bags this morning so we can spend the evening together. He's been at his parents all afternoon hanging out with his dad, Matt and Dalton. They're all as heartbroken as I am that he's leaving again so soon. Roxie stopped by earlier to see how I was holding up, but couldn't stay long because she had to work. She received an internship at one of the local news stations. She was so excited when she heard she got it.

Throughout the day, Cane has sent me sweet text messages letting me know he was thinking of me. I saved every single message and voice mail. I swear I'm going to re-read and listen to them a hundred times a day while he's gone. Hearing his voice immediately relaxes me. I am praying that this deployment will be just a few short months, and then he can hurry back home.

Lying on the couch, I flick through the channels but can't find anything good to watch. I finally settle on the Lifetime channel and a movie with Tori Spelling. I love Tori, so it's good enough. After an hour into the movie, I finally get a text from Cane.

Cane: Heading home now, see you soon.

I type in a quick reply telling him to hurry his hot a.s.s home because I need a cuddle buddy to watch Lifetime with. I can't help but giggle as I send it. Cane cannot stand these movies, but suffers through them for me, seeing as I suffer through many hours of college basketball.

Especially during March Madness.

Finally, thirty minutes later, Cane strolls through the door. Tossing his keys on the table beside the door and kicking off his Adidas sandals, he walks over and plops down on the couch. I shift my body upwards so I can lay my head on his chest. We spend the next hour talking about everything I'll do while he's deployed. We can't set a date for our wedding, because we don't know when he'll be back home. It sucks because if I would've known he was going to be deploying again so soon after returning home, I would've planned our wedding during his first deployment and gotten married as soon as he returned home.

Cane trails his fingers up and down my arm, awakening goose b.u.mps all over my heated skin. He leans down planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm going to miss the h.e.l.l outta you while I'm gone."

Resting my chin on his chest, I look up at him and try to hold back the tears. If the dam gives, I don't think I'll be able to stop the waterfall of tears once they start falling. "It will go by fast. We made it through you being gone a whole year. Before we know it, you'll be home, and we'll finally become Mr. and Mrs. Cane Allen."

"Just don't hire any Duran Duran cover bands. I'll never live down having a bad 80's cover band at my wedding."

"s.h.i.t, I guess I better call and cancel tomorrow." I say, laughing as I tickle a trail from his belly b.u.t.ton up to his chest. "How about we settle on a really good D.J., then we can have a mix of everything we love."

"Sounds good to me. I love the sound of Mrs. Allen. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Cane asks rolling onto his side. Sliding his fingers along my thigh and working his way under his oversized t-shirt, I'm wearing. "I think we've watched enough Lifetime movies for tonight. It's about time I get your sweet little a.s.s into bed."

Before I can protest, Cane is scooping me up in his arms and carrying me into the bedroom. Within seconds, we are both naked and tangled up in the sheets of our bed.

December 12th 2005.

I awoke yesterday to the sweetest voice mail from Cane. With the time difference, it's hard to talk on the phone, but I love getting his voice messages because I can re-play them over and over again whenever I'm missing him. I mailed a letter to him last week, telling him all about the wedding plans along with a new care package. I hate that we won't be spending Christmas together. All of his gifts are wrapped under our tree, where they'll stay until he comes home to me.

Roxie, my mother, and Cane's mom went with me to the Bridal Shop over the weekend and helped me pick out my wedding dress. We also selected Roxie's maid of honor dress. My cousins Valerie and Tiffany are my bridesmaid's, but because they live in Ft. Lauderdale, I had to email them the dresses I picked out for them so they can just go to the local Bridal shop and get theirs fitted there.

Cane was right, planning the wedding has helped distract me while he's away. I'm hoping to get everything done as quickly as possible so once I know when he's coming home all I have to do is set the date. We plan on getting married at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden. It's absolutely breathtaking there. My parents helped cover the fee to hire a wedding planner, and she's been a life saver by helping with the venues and all the details I didn't even think about. Without her, I'd be completely lost.

Who knew planning a wedding could be so much work and stressed doesn't come close to explaining how I'm feeling right now.

We're on Christmas break from college, so I'm enjoying not cramming for tests. The last few weeks have been insane. Roxie and I spent every night studying, and when I received my tests back with B's, I was happy. h.e.l.l, I didn't get any A's like Roxie, but I'll take a B any day!

With Cane overseas putting his life on the line, it's hard to focus in school. Especially when I see all of his friends on campus, and I'm reminded that he's not here with all of us like we'd planned. I was so excited when Roxie and I were accepted into the University of Miami. We imagined ourselves, Cane, Dalton and Matt all together partying it up on the weekends at their frat house, making tons of amazing memories together. I wish every day that 9/11 never happened that so many loved ones didn't have to leave us to go fight this war on terror.

I try to keep myself busy with school and work and distract myself with planning our wedding. I am counting down the days until his year deployment is over, and he can come back home to me.

After a long weekend, I'm thrilled to do absolutely nothing but chill on the couch with Roxie tonight. Since Cane deployed, we've jumped back into our weekly Monday night ritual: popping popcorn and curling up on the couch together to watch The O.C. and swoon over Seth and Ryan.

"Hey, biotch, can you grab me a c.o.ke?" Roxie asks poking me with her toes while her eyes stay locked on the show.

Rolling my eyes, I let out a loud sigh and tossed a handful of popcorn at her. "You're lucky I'm thirsty, or you'd be s.h.i.t outta luck." I tease as I sprint into the kitchen, laughing as she tries to retaliate and toss a handful of popcorn back at me.

I pad across the kitchen and grab us each a can of c.o.ke from the fridge, just as I plop back down on the couch I hear my cell phone vibrating on the coffee table. Setting my soda down, I dive for my phone, hoping its Cane calling. It's so hard with the time difference to catch each other at a reasonable time. Either he's calling me at four in the morning or almost midnight but I'll risk running on two hours of sleep if it means I get to talk to Cane and know he's okay.

Roxie sits up and pops her soda open while shooting me a questionable glance and mouths, "Cane?"

I glance at my caller ID, normally it's a long foreign number, but instead I notice it's a Miami number, one I don't recognize. Shaking my head no, I quickly answer, "h.e.l.lo?" with uncertainty in my voice.

I hear a deep masculine voice come through the other line, "Hey! Brittan?" The guy says with question in his voice. His voice sounds familiar, but I just can't place who it is.

"This is she..." my voice comes out sweetly as I flash a smile to Roxie while shaking my head.

Roxie pokes me with her toes again and whispers, "Who is it?"

Shaking my head and raising my shoulders, I whisper back while pressing my hand over my cell, "No fricking clue."

The man on the other line snaps my attention back to him and instantly I realize why his voice sounds so d.a.m.n familiar. "Awesome! I called the bar and got your number from one of the bartenders working tonight. She refused to give me your cell number at first, but I can be very persuasive." I can't help but laugh at the c.o.c.kiness in his voice. "This is Holden, from Beyond Redemption. We have a gig this weekend at the Ocean Side Dive, and our singer Tara just broke the news she's going to have to quit the band due to some personal reason. We heard you can sing pretty f.u.c.king well and thought maybe you'd be interested in singing with us this weekend. It would be sort of an audition if you're down for it?"

Holy s.h.i.t!

Bouncing up and down on the couch, I smack Roxie's leg as I try to vocalize something...anything right now!

Sitting up, Roxie grabs my arm and shakes me as she shouts, "What!?." With a big smile dances across her lips, she doesn't even know what the h.e.l.l is going on, but my excitement is contagious.

Holding my finger up to her, I finally let out the breath I've been holding and answer Holden, "Yes, I'd love to! I am a huge fan and so honored you called me, of all people! I need to give Delia a big hug when I see her at work!"

I can't help but laugh along with Holden as his deep chuckle travels through the phone, "Glad to hear it; I'll text the rest of the band and let them know you're down. We'll get ahold of you this week to set up a time to practice a few songs before the show Sat.u.r.day."

"Sounds good!" Hanging up the phone, I toss it onto the coffee table and tackle Roxie.

"Umfff!" She huffs out as I knock her back, "Geesh girlfriend, what the h.e.l.l was that all about!" Roxie asks, as she tries to wiggle out from beneath me.

Rolling onto my side with a smile stretching ear to ear, I tell her about the phone call and the show this Sat.u.r.day. We spend the next hour freaking out and calling Matt and Dalton telling them the news. They are so excited for me, and will spread the word around campus to get a great turn out for my first performance.

It's crazy; I go from sitting in cla.s.s daydreaming about singing on stage while learning the History of Music to actually auditioning with one of my favorite local bands! I can't wait to tell Cane, he is going to freak the h.e.l.l out. He is just as big of a fan as I am for Beyond Redemption.

December 31st 2005.

I'm sitting backstage, warming up my voice in the green room at Club Mirage in Miami, and waiting for Beyond Redemption's turn to go on stage. We're performing here for New Years, and I'm so fricking nervous. We've only played in small bars over the last two weeks, and I have no idea if I am ready for this size of a crowd. The band booked this performance months ago when Tara was still with them, and the money was too good for them to cancel.

Roxie is on recording duty, so she'll be in the front row. I told her if I get too nervous I'll just focus on her, or pretend the entire crowd is in their underwear, whatever the h.e.l.l works! I've emailed my last two performances to Cane. He freaked out when I told him Holden called asking me to come jam with them. I was so nervous the first night walking into Holden's bas.e.m.e.nt to sing for them, but after the first twenty minutes I relaxed and felt like I'd been singing with them my entire life. We all just blended together perfectly.

I'm still trying to get used to the fact that I'm actually the lead singer of a band that pretty much everyone in Miami loves. It doesn't hurt every guy in the band is drop dead gorgeous, which I think is a good reason why the club is filled with gorgeous women tonight. After our first performance at Ocean Side Dive almost two weeks ago, they told me the verdict was in, and I was stuck with them. I can't wait for Cane to come home so he can stand in the front row and watch me on stage in person. It's going to suck going back to school and to have to focus on homework and school c.r.a.p. I have a blast chilling with the band every night and rehearsing. We've been working overtime to get me prepared for tonight.

Levi and Nash, our ba.s.sist and drummer, are cousin's and fight like an old married couple, its quiet entertaining. They're sitting on the couch across from me right now, fighting over who's going to get more phone numbers tonight. With this place bursting at the seams, I doubt they'll leave with less than twenty each, and I think it's safe to say they won't be leaving alone. They almost look like brothers with similar facial features and jet black hair that's cut short on the sides and styled into a high faux hawk. The only difference between the two is Levi wears large black gla.s.ses, and Nash has huge one inch black gauge earrings.

Holden and Casper are our lead guitarists. But Holden has a voice like Three Days Grace lead singer, Adam Gontier, and sings back up for me and any duets with me. His voice is amazing, and if they weren't looking for a female singer to head their band, I don't doubt for a moment they would do just fine with him as a front man. They're out in the hall talking with some friends who came to help set up their equipment.

As I go through my final round of vocal warm ups, I hear my phone ringing from my purse on the floor beside the couch. I quickly lean over, retrieving it from the floor and burst with excitement the moment I recognize the international number. It's ten fifty-five; we're on in five minutes so it won't give me much time to talk with Cane, but I'll take every second I can get.

"Hey, babe!" I shout into the phone as Nash and Levi stop bickering and stand up from the couch and head towards the door.

Nash flashes me a big smile, "We're going to get ready to go on, meet us out there in three." With those words, he and Levi disappear into the chaos unfolding outside the green room door.

My stomach flutters with a swarm of b.u.t.terflies as Cane's thick raspy voice caresses my ear, "Happy New Year, baby."

I forgot, in Iraq, it's already 2006! d.a.m.n time zones.

"Happy New Year! Just think how amazing 2006 is going to be; we'll finally be husband and wife." Just hearing the words wife come out of my mouth makes me giddier than a kid on Christmas morning.

Cane's laughter fills the phone; there is nothing I love more than hearing him laugh...it's the most amazing sound ever. "That it is; I can't wait to marry you Brittan. I wish we would've eloped before I deployed. I hate not being able to call you my wife. Having to wait is almost unbearable. This tour can't be over soon enough."

Lying back against the couch, I kick my feet up onto the coffee table that are donned in 6" fire red stilettos, "Believe me, I wish the same thing every day, but before we know it, you'll be back and then we can have our dream wedding."

I hear voices in the background; someone is speaking to Cane, "Sorry babe, I gotta go. I love you and I can't wait to see your performance. You're going to be awesome."

Letting out a nervous laugh, I chew the inside of my cheek and glance towards the door; I hear the band that was just playing making their way towards the green room. Sitting back up I let out a shaky breath, "I love you too, and I can't believe I'm ringing in the New Year singing with Beyond Redemption, it just doesn't feel real!"

"I told ya babe, you have the most amazing voice and one day you'll be performing in arenas around the world. I'll try to call you again in a few days, until then, keep the emails coming."

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, so I look up at the ceiling, widening my eyes and forcing the tears to stay back. I can't ruin my make up a second before it's time to go on stage.

"Oh, you know by tomorrow you'll have a book from me in your email, as I give you a play by play of tonight's performance!" I giggled into the phone. "Stay safe, and hurry home Cane."

As soon as I end our call the other band comes bursting through the door followed by Holden, who flashes a wicked grin at me as he pours himself a shot, "Show time! Ready to go blow the roof of this joint?" He asks as he tosses his shot back.

Nodding my head, I squeeze through the now full green room as Holden pours another shot and holds it out to me, "This will help settle your nerves." His eyes are glazed over from all the shots they've already consumed tonight. These guys sure can hold their liquor.

Me...not so much. I'm more of a beer or wine kind of girl. I don't feel like spending my first day of 2006 with my face in a toilet, so one shot is good for me.

Taking the shot gla.s.s between my fingers, I tip it back, and my eyes instantly begin to water as the smooth liquor burns, sliding down my throat. "Wooaahh!" I shout as I bounce on the b.a.l.l.s of my feet and shake my head as the burn slowly disappears.

Holden erupts into a roar of laughter, "Now, you're ready." He tells me as he claps me on the back and leads me out the door.

Following Holden out into the hall, I spot Levi and Nash at the end of the hallway with Casper. They're jumping up and down chanting like gorillas...it's quiet the sight to see.

"Get your a.s.s over here, Brittan; it's time to kick off 2006 with a kicka.s.s concert!" Levi shouts at me as I follow behind Holden.

There are people everywhere, so we're zig zagging through bodies of bystanders and doing so in these heels isn't an easy task. My stomach is twisting into knots with every step I take. I keep focusing on breathing, so I don't pa.s.s out.

You can do this.

Go out there show them you belong up here with these guys.

I keep repeating it over and over again in my head.

"Woo...Woo...Woo!" All the guys start chatting and bouncing around laughing. I start bouncing on my toes pumping my fist in the air beside them. It's their ritual before performing, and it does seem to help get your blood pumping and adrenaline coursing through your veins before you have to run out there to sing and bounce around the stage for the next hour.

The manager of the club pops his head around the corner with his headphone on, speaking to someone on the other end before focusing his attention on us. "Get your a.s.ses out on the stage, time to give the fans what they want!" He says shouting like he's impatiently waiting for us, but the humor in his voice and a sly smile on his lips lets me know otherwise.

The guys run out onto the stage ahead of me, taking their places on the stage. As soon as the crowd spots us making our way out, they go crazy; the screams are almost deafening.

Looking out at the crowd, I can't help but laugh at all the signs written in bright marker or glitter asking Levi, Casper, Holden and Nash to marry them. There are women holding up signs with 'I want to marry you.' 'You're f.u.c.king hot.' And the last one made me literally laugh out loud, 'Holden! Rock out with your c.o.c.k out.'

It's insane how obsessed these women are for these guys, and they're just a local act. They've traveled around Florida, Georgia and South Carolina, but that's about it. I'm hoping they won't be p.i.s.sed that Tara isn't performing tonight as planned, and they'll be accepting of me. I've had nightmares all week of being booed off the stage.

Waving to the crowd, I glance over my shoulder and give the guys a small smile as I step up to the microphone stand. I drop my eyes to the fans at my feet, and suddenly relax as my eyes lock with Matt, Dalton and Roxie's.