Holly laughed again. "At first, maybe. When I taught gymnastics, I used to bribe the kids with pennies to try a new skill. I knew after the first day of camp, pennies wouldn't get me anywhere. But I think every kid is sheltered from something."

"Yes, that's probably true," Dad said.

I finally opened my eyes. Dad sat in a chair across from the bed. I turned over and looked up at Holly. "How long was I asleep?"

"A couple hours." She rested her hand on my cheek. "How do you feel?"

"Better." I sat up slowly and leaned against the headboard next to Holly. "Dad, how come you're still here?"

He stood and handed me a bottle of water. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay. And Holly is good company. I didn't even realize two hours had pa.s.sed."

"She's very good company." I put an arm around her and pulled her closer. "Whatever he told you, it's not true."

Holly laughed and shook her head. "So you didn't really date one of the girls from Legally Blonde, The Musical?"

"Okay, that's true, but only for, like, two weeks."

"That had to be the most obnoxious girl I've ever met," Dad said.

I nodded. "Agreed."

Dad got up from his chair and headed toward the door. "I think I'll go get a few hours' sleep before we makes plans for today."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

I glanced sideways at Holly, then back at him. "I'm sticking with my decision to join the family business."

His face fell. Then he nodded toward the door, indicating he wanted to speak privately. Holly caught on to the hint as well and gave me a nudge off the bed. After we were on the other side of the door and Dad had darted his eyes around the hallway several times, he finally spoke in a low voice. "Let's talk about this some more tomorrow ... but not here. Security's an issue with such a large building. I can't possibly check every corner."

"Okay."

"We can go sailing ... Freeman can keep an eye on your friends."

I shook my head right away. "Not a chance. I mean, I'll get on a boat, but Adam and Holly are coming with us. And I want you to tell me everything, but I already gave my word to Marshall and I'm not changing my mind about that part."

He let out a breath. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

I nodded. "I'm not going to let history repeat itself."

"I know what you mean," he said. "But we should still talk before someone else has a chance to glorify this job ... fill your head with big ideas."

Dad sighed and walked away toward the stairwell. Right now he was the only person who knew how many ways that statement could be translated. October 30, 2009, might be the future in this timeline, but to me it was history. And what happened to Eileen was not going to happen to Holly. I was determined to do anything to make sure of that.

As I crawled back into bed, the reality hit me: I was officially in the CIA. Not just a made-up story. I slid Holly down so she was lying beside me, then leaned over her and kissed her. "You are so pretty ... Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes, I like secrets. Especially yours."

"I wanted to kiss you the first time I saw you."

"Really?" She lifted her head and kissed my nose. "Tell me another secret."

"I promised my sister I'd marry you."

Holly laughed. "Was this one of your hallucinations induced by Adam's special science project?"

I ducked my head and touched my lips just below her collarbone. "Yep, exactly. Oh ... and we're having six children-"

"Six!"

"Uh-huh ... so keep those giant panties, you'll need them."

Holly was laughing so hard, she was near tears. Then her smile dissolved and she just stared at me for a minute, a hard knowing look. "Is that what you meant when you said...?"

I knew where she was going with this. "That it's hard to be sure until things aren't great?"

Her hands reached out to my face. "What happened?"

"Just a really bad dream."

"You can tell me."

I rested my head on her pillow. "Have you ever watched someone die?"

"No," she answered, turning toward me so our faces were just inches apart. "Never."

The whole story about visiting Courtney in the hospital just spilled out of me, but I told her it was a dream or a hallucination. "For a long time, I thought my dad resented me for being healthy ... for living."

"I don't think that's true," Holly said, and the second the words were out of her mouth, tears trickled from her eyes onto the pillow. She wiped them away quickly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dumped all that on you."

"No, it's okay. You can tell me anything. I mean that." She picked up my hand and brought it to her lips. "I just wish I knew what she looked like."

"But you've seen-" I stopped myself, remembering that 009 Holly had only seen an empty room and a few pictures of me around the apartment. "I mean ... do you want to see a picture? I have one."

She nodded, and I reached over and dug through my wallet, pulling out the card I never gave Courtney with a picture of the two of us in Central Park on Christmas Eve, just a month or two before she got sick. Holly's eyes traveled from the picture to the words on the other side. And I let her read them because 007 Holly had and it only seemed fair.

She wiped away the tears that fell and handed me the card, looking determined to retain her composure. "I couldn't have done it, either. Watch someone I love die. I would have been so scared."

"I know you could, Holly." I brushed my fingers over her cheek.

"Now, maybe, but when I was fourteen ... no way."

I smiled at her still-teary face. "Enough with the sad stuff. It's torture making you this upset."

"No more talk about me delivering six children, either. Just thinking about that gives me the urge to cross my legs and leave them that way."

That was exactly what I needed to shake me from my subdued mood. "I love that you have no problem saying s.h.i.t like that to me ... So, can you tell me a secret? Actually, it's more of a question."

"Maybe...?"

"How did you end up hooking up with a guy like David Newman?"

"What's wrong with David?"

"Nothing, but what's the appeal? How did it start?" I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "You really want to hear this?"

"I'm just curious, that's all."

"We got drunk one night and made out at a party in front of a lot of people, and since we were already good friends, they just a.s.sumed ... that was our special moment. David was so wasted he didn't even remember it. Still doesn't."

"That's it?"

She shrugged. "I think when I was younger my vision was that the perfect guy was out there somewhere and then I just decided to-"

"Settle?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, but it's not like I knew that. I didn't know any different."

I scooted closer and slid my hands around her waist. "I know what you mean."

"For a while, I hated you for making me doubt what I had already decided on. With David, I didn't feel ... he didn't..."

"Light your fire?" I asked with a smile.

"No, he didn't." She kissed me and rolled on top of me, tangling her fingers in my hair, then she pulled away to yawn. "Sorry."

I pressed gently on the back of her neck until she laid her head on my chest. "Go to sleep. You look exhausted."

"You want me to move over?" she asked, laughing a little.

I tightened my arms around her. "Nope, stay right here. It's very warm."

She lifted her head. "You've always been good at this."

"At what?"

"You always hold my hand at just the right moment and kiss me with the most perfect timing. Like it was your way of saying what you couldn't say. I knew the words would come eventually." She pressed her cheek against my shirt again.

"Sorry I ever doubted your patience."

Sleep never came to me the rest of the night. I just lay there, feeling the warmth of Holly's presence spread through me, and I thought of my dad and everything he'd lost. He wouldn't betray me. Even if it was his job to save someone else. I knew that now.

I'd seen the scar before, on his shoulder, from the bullet he took for me seventeen years ago, but didn't know how he'd gotten it. How could I have sat there in 2007 and whined about having to see a younger Holly, one who didn't know me, when my father had no chance of seeing Eileen alive again? Ever.

And hearing she was like a mother to me, I wanted to know so much more about her. Everything. If only it weren't so far back in time. I watched as the sun peeked through the curtain and knew things would never be as easy as they were at this very moment. But I didn't let myself think about anything else. Not yet.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR.

AUGUST 15, 2009, 12:00 P.M.

"Wow," Holly said, looking up at the giant white sailboat. "Do we have a captain for this monster?"

Dad walked up behind us. "That would be me."

"You know, I think maybe ... I'll sit this one out, lay out on the beach or something," Adam said, looking longingly at the people on the beach stretched out in the sand.

Dad clapped Adam on the back, a little too hard. "Nope, you're coming with us. Can't leave you on land with all that access to technology. Not on my watch."

I had a feeling Dad was joking, but Adam's face filled with fear. He leaned toward me and whispered, "Mobsters use this technique all the time. Take the suspects out on a boat, shoot them, then toss their bodies into the ocean. By the time they wash up in some foreign country or Caribbean island, the evidence is gone."

Holly heard Adam and rolled her eyes. "Seriously? There's much better ways to erase evidence than that."

Dad helped Holly onto the boat and I muttered to Adam, "What happened to the real Holly Flynn?"

Adam grinned at me. "She's not so different from you. Holly's never wanted to be ordinary."

He was right. It's not that Holly hadn't been herself around me, she just held back a lot because she didn't think I could handle it. Future plans, pa.s.sion ... commitment, all of that stuff would have sent me running.

I gave Adam a shove toward the boat. "I got your back. Besides, most of the mobster murders happen on motorboats."

Dad was hard at work getting the sails untied. I jumped in to help him, while Adam and Holly sat on the bench at the bow and watched.

"Is this part of agent training?" Holly asked. "You guys look like you know what you're doing."

I glanced at Dad and smiled. "No, actually, it was part of our family vacations. Something completely normal."

"And we can't say that about much, can we?" Dad said.

A few minutes later, we were off, staring out at the open waters. I immediately felt a sense of relief being far away from a hotel full of people. Now I could understand why my dad wanted to escape.

"So, when are we going to discuss spy secrets?"

"When we get a little farther out of range," he said quietly. "Have you learned how to check for listening devices?"

"Yeah, you showed me." I began my search, starting with the lower level, then I scanned over the deck carefully. Dad was having a whispered conversation with Adam and I couldn't help listening in.

"There's a division I started in years ago, when I was about your age. Anyway, headquarters are in the bas.e.m.e.nt of the New York Public Library and there's very little risk involved. Mostly reading books, computer programs, and websites, and looking for spy code," Dad told him. "I could get you in?"