Tw.a.n.g. Them Shakers is a queer lot. They dance jest like wild Injuns, and thinks we orter be kind to the red rascals, end use them honestly.

GERKIN. Wall! Thet's what our Guvner ses tew. But I reckon he's shammin' a bit Twist you and me, he's on the make like the rest o' us. Think o' bein' kind to a red devil thet would lift your har ten minutes arter!

End as fer honesty--I say "set 'em up" every time, and then rob 'em. Thet's the way to clar them out o' the kentry. Whiskey's better 'n gunpowder, end costs less than fightin' 'em in the long run.

_Enter_ CITIZEN BLOAT.

Tw.a.n.g. Thet's so! h.e.l.lo, Major, what's up? You look kind o' riled to-day.

BLOAT. Wall, Jedge, I dew feel right mad--have you heerd the noos?

Tw.a.n.g. No! has old Sledge bust you at the keerds again?

BLOAT. Old Sledge be darned! I had jest clar'd him out o' continentals--fifty to the shillin'--at his own game, when in ript Roudi--the Eyetalian that knifed the Muskoe Injun for peekin' through his bar-room winder last spring--jest down from Fort Knox. You know the chap, General; you was on his jury.

SLAUGH. I reckon I dew. The Court was agin him, but we acquitted him afore the Chief-Justice finished his charge, and gave him a vote o' thanks to boot. There's a heap o' furriners creepin' inter these parts--poor downtrodden cusses from Europe--end, ef they're all like Roudi, they'll dew--a'most as hendy wi' the knife as our own people. But what's up?

BLOAT. Roudi saw Barron at Fort Knox, restin' thar on his way back from the Prophet's Town, end he sez thet red a.s.sa.s.sin Tec.u.mseh's a-c.u.min' down wi' four hundred o' his painted devils to conva.r.s.e wi' our Guvner.

They're all armed, he sez, end will be here afore mid- day.

SLAUGH. Wall! our Guvner notified him to come--he's only gettin' what he axed for. There'll be a deal o'

loose har flitterin' about the streets afore night, I reckon. Harrison's a heap too soft wi' them red roosters; he h'aint got cheek enough.

GERKIN. I've heerd say the Guvner, end the Chief Justice tew, thinks a sight o' this tearin' red devil.

They say he's a great man. They say, tew, thet our treaty Injuns air badly used--thet they shouldn't be meddled wi' on their resarves, end should hev skoolin'.

BLOAT. Skoolin'! That gits me! Dogoned ef I wouldn't larn them jest one thing--what them regler officers up to the Fort larns their dogs--"to drap to shot," only in a different kind o' way like; end, es fer their resarves, I say, give our farmers a chance--let them locate!

Tw.a.n.g. Thet's so, Major! What arthly use air they-- plouterin' about their little bits o' fields, wi' their little bits o' cabins, end livin' half the time on mush- rats? I say, let them move out, end give reliable citizens a chance.

SLAUGH. Wall, I reckon our Guvner's kind's about played out. They call themselves the old stock--the clean pea --the rale gentlemen o' the Revolooshun. But, gentlemen, ain't we the Revolooshun? Jest wait till the live citizens o' these United States end Territories gits a chance, end we'll show them gentry what a free people, wi' our inst.i.tooshuns, _kin_ do. There'll be no more talk o' skoolin fer Injuns, you bet! I'd give them Kernel Crunch's billet.

GERKIN. What was thet, General?

SLAUGH. Why, they say he killed a hull family o'

redskins, and stuck 'em up as scar' crows in his wheat fields. Gentlemen, there's nothin' like original idees!

Tw.a.n.g. Thet war an original idee! The Kernel orter hev tuk out a patent. I think I've heerd o' Crunch. Wam't he wi' Kernel Crawford, o' the melish', at one time?

SLAUGH Whar?

Tw.a.n.g. Why over to the Muskingum. You've heerd o' them Delaware Moravians over to the Muskingum, surely?

SLAUGH. Oh, them convarted chaps! but I a'most forgit the carc.u.mstance.

Tw.a.n.g. Wall, them red devils had a nice resarve thar-- as yieldin' a bit o' sile as one could strike this side o' the Alleghanies. They was all convarted by the Moravians, end pertended to be as quiet and peaceable as the Shakers hereabout But Kernel Crawford--who knew good sile when he sot his eyes on it--diskivered thet them prayin' chaps had helped a war-party from the North, wi' provisions--or thort they did, which was the same thing. So--one fine Sunday--he surrounds their church wi' his melish'--when the Injuns was all a- prayin'--end walks in himself, jest for a minute or two, end prays a bit so as not to skeer them tew soon, end then walks out, end locks the door. The Kernel then cutely--my heart kind o' warms to thet man--put a squad o' melish' at each winder wi' their bayonets pinted, end sot fire to the Church, end charred up the hull kit, preacher and all! The heft o' them was burnt; but some thet warn't thar skinned out o' the kentry, end got lands from the British up to the Thames River in Canady, end founded what they call the Moravian Towns thar; and thar they is still--fur them Britishers kind o' pampers the Injuns, so they may git at our scalps.

SLAUGH. I reckon we'll hev a tussle wi' them gentry afore long. But for Noo England we'd a hed it afore now; but them Noo Englanders kind o' curries to the Britishers. A war would spile their shippin', end so they're agin it. But we h'aint got no ships to spile in this western kentry, end so I reckon we'll pitch in.

GERKIN. We'd better git out o' this Injun fry-pan fust, old hoss! I could lick my own weight in wild-cats, but this ruck o' Injuns is jest a little tew hefty.

BLOAT. Maybe they want to come to skool, end start store, end sich!

GERKIN. Gentlemen--I mean to send my lady down stream, end I reckon you'd better dew the same wi' your 'uns-- jest fer safety like. My time's limited--will you liquor?

ALL. You bet!

BLOAT. (_Meditatively_) Skoolin! Wall, I'll be darned!

[_Exeunt_.]

SCENE THIRD. THE SAME. A ROOM IN GENERAL HARRISON'S HOUSE.

_Enter_ GENERAL HARRISON, _and some Officers of the American Army_.

HARRISON. What savage handiwork keeps Barron back?

_Enter_ BARRON.

Ah, here he comes, his looks interpreting Mischief and failure! It is as I feared. What answer do you bring?

BARRON. Tec.u.mseh comes To council, with four hundred men at back, To which, with all persuasion, I objected-- As that it would alarm our citizens, Whose hasty temper, by suspicion edged, Might break in broils of quarrel with his braves; But, sir, it was in vain--so be prepared!

Your Council records may be writ in blood.

HARRISON. Will he attack us, think you?

BARRON. No, not now. His present thought is to intimidate.

But, lest some rash and foulmouthed citizen Should spur his pa.s.sion to the run, fore-arm!

HARRISON. Tut! Arms are scarce as soldiers in our town, And I am sick of requisitioning.

Nay, we must trust to something else than arms.

Tec.u.mseh is a savage but in name--Let's trust to him!

What says he of our treaties?

BARRON. O, he discharges them as heavy loads, Which borne by red men only, break their backs.

All lands, he says, are common to his race; Not to be sold but by consent of all.

HARRISON. Absurd! This proposition would prevent All purchase and all progress. No, indeed; We cannot tie our hands with such conditions.

What of the Prophet? Comes he with the rest?

BARRON. The Prophet stays behind.

HARRISON. He is a foil Used by Tec.u.mseh to augment his greatness; And, by good husbandry of incantation, And gloomy charms by night, this Prophet works So shrewdly on their braves that every man, Inflamed by auguries of victory, Would rush on death.

1ST OFFICER. Why, General, I heard He over-trumpt you once and won the trick.