She was extremely uncomfortable. She fidgeted. "You have to understand..."

"I understand," I testified, still grinning. "I didn't become a lesbian yesterday, you know."

She was taken aback at first. Then she broke into a joyful laughter than sounded like tiny little raindrops. "Why...?" she asked. She started again. "Why isn't that a problem for you?"

"Because I don't have a problem with it. There are lots of things that I don't do in public, and most of them aren't even remotely related to who I sleep with."

She was still a bit taken aback. "Funny," she stated. "I've always heard differently before now."

"Do you have a problem with it?" I asked with genuine curiosity. Such things always interested me.

She considered this. "No, not really. I've just never really thought much about it before."

I understood that well. She had put so many other limitations and taboos on her life, she'd surely never gotten through to deal with this one before. She just never had occasion to. Besides, with whom would she hold hands? With her clients?

"But somehow, it still just doesn't seem right." She tried to knit her eyebrows, but gave that up right away with a wince. She wasn't nearly as well as she portrayed herself to be.

"No," I agreed with her, "I don't think it's right either. But that's not my problem, it's the problem of those who can't stand to look when two women are tender to one another." I shrugged. "For that, my time is too precious and life is too short. They should solve their own problems."

"I believe you're right," she pondered. "I'll have to think about that some more." She sat for awhile, deep in thought.

I looked at her and noticed that she was about to fall asleep. "Don't you think we'd better go home?" I asked urgently.

She sat up a little. "Yes, I'm suddenly awfully tired. I hadn't noticed it at all before." Of course not - she'd been swimming in a sea of friendship and happiness!

"Have you paid?" I was really afraid she was about to tip over right here. She looked absolutely exhausted, despite all the makeup.

She waved that away. "We don't need to. The first cup when I come to town is always on the house."

She gathered herself up and went once more up to the counter. She gathered the last of her strength for her goodbyes, and let her charm flow. It was obvious that everyone was captivated by her. They would have liked most to hold her, to keep her there. She declined regretfully, putting them all off to the next time.

We went back around the corner. As soon as we were out of sight, she leaned against the building. She was grey under her makeup. I was afraid for her. Why did she always have to overextend herself?

"Should I help you?" I asked. Somehow, I still had to get her home.

She shook her head. "I'll manage. Just let me rest here for a minute." She closed her eyes.

The control she exercised over her body was really unbelievable. After a minute, she opened her eyes again and said, "We can go." She still didn't look very well, but she walked along the street as if she had nothing more than a long day at work behind her. I didn't know how long her strength was going to last. I tried to stay as close to her as possible.

She made it into the apartment. On the other side of the door, she collapsed. I picked her up and helped her into the bedroom. There, she fell onto the bed and didn't make another sound. At first, I doubted that she was even still breathing. I put my ear to her mouth and was rea.s.sured. I laid her in a slightly more comfortable position, took off her shoes, pulled a blanket over her, and left her to sleep.

The next morning she'd go out again, I decided, but this time for x-rays!

Chapter 21.

"Oh, no!" she moaned.

"Oh, yes!" I stood my ground. "Today you're going to be x-rayed. I promised the doctor you would. If I ever run into her again and she finds out that I broke my promise, she'll lynch me."

She tried again to get out of it. "Come on, she won't be that bad."

I had to have proof that she was well. Since she had collapsed yesterday, I was more worried about her. "Yes, she is that bad. You didn't really get a chance to talk to her. I did."

She had to admit that. "Yes, that's true." She sighed in resignation. "I'm not going to get anywhere against the two of you. When then?"

"Right after breakfast," I replied energetically. I didn't want to give her a chance to think about it too long.

When I picked her up at the doctor's office, she informed me, "Everything is fine. I'm supposed to take it easy for another week. Are you happy now?"

"Yes," I said. "That was all I wanted to know." I looked over at her. "Did he ask you anything else?"

"Nothing special." She shrugged absently. "They always believe the story about the stairs."

My G.o.d! How often had she done this already?

Slowly, it began to seem like I'd spent my entire life up to this point in a gla.s.s box, sheltered from the evil sides of the world. I took a great deal for granted. Consideration of others, for instance, and mutual respect for the idea that people shouldn't hurt each other intentionally, or that everyone had a right to self-esteem.

I didn't ask her anything else. How could I question her life when I enjoyed everything so automatically that was obviously a luxury for her, that she only now and then got to experience here in Paris? I had rather ensure that this trip was as comfortable and relaxing as possible for her.

"What would you like as your treat for being so brave?" I kidded her gently.

"Do I get to choose?" She pouted a little. "That's new."

I held her tight, wrapped an arm around her neck, pulled her down to me, and kissed her softly on the lips. "You do," I said tenderly. "Anything you want, darling."

She was too surprised to react right away, then "darling" gave her another shock. Finally, she remarked, "I thought you didn't do that in public."

I laughed. "I didn't say that I never do it on general principle. I've just never felt like it before." I eyed her carefully. "If it bothers you, I'll never do it again."

She looked at me with an unreadable expression. Then she leaned over me and kissed me very lightly. "It doesn't bother me." Her face lightened. "I even think I could start to like it." She put an arm around my waist, and we took a few steps together like that.

"So," I asked again. "What would you like?"

She stopped. "I'm not quite sure. I don't want to make the same mistake I made yesterday."

"That was no mistake," I said warmly. "Those people did you so much good."

"Yes," she admitted, "but it was too strenuous. Today, I don't want to see any people." Did she mean me with that as well?

I looked at her questioningly. "Do you want to stay in the apartment?"

She shook her head. "No, not that, either."

I didn't know what alternatives she was weighing in her head, so I just stood there and waited for an answer.

"Do you like the countryside?" she asked suddenly.

"That depends," I replied uncertainly. That was a rather vague description.

"I'd really like to drive out there. Just in the area." She looked at me doubtfully. "If you want."

"If you want," I emphasized in reply. "I don't know anything about the area around Paris. I've only ever been in the city before." I smiled invitingly at her. "Will you show me the most beautiful parts of the landscape?"

Only now did she let me see how important this trip was to her. "Yes, I'd love to." She beamed.

It really wasn't easy to fulfill a wish for her!

After I found my car again, we drove out toward the south end of the city. When we could see nothing but fields left and right, she pointed toward a dirt road.

"You can park there. Then we can walk."

I followed her instructions, and we walked right into a small forest. It was as if the huge city of Paris no longer existed, although it was so close. She stood still and breathed it all in.

Her appearance really struck me. She fit in here just as well as she had in the bistro in Paris or in the apartment there. She filled every situation with her charm and beauty. I asked myself what I could possibly offer her. She gave me so much. And I? I could take care of her when she was sick. But she wouldn't always be sick.

Smiling, she turned to face me. "Isn't it lovely here?" She was so relaxed. Her bruises were barely visible now. Of course, she'd put makeup on again, but that couldn't account for it alone. Here, no one threatened her, and she was completely herself.

My love for her pained me deep inside. As soon as I knew for sure that she was well again, I'd have to leave her.

I returned her smile. "Beautiful," I confirmed, and I didn't just mean the landscape.

"Come," she encouraged. "Let's go for a little walk."

"But not too far," I warned.

She laughed at my concern. "I promise I won't collapse. I'll be careful."

We walked quietly along, side by side. She picked up a twig from the ground and smelled it. Then she bent down to investigate some flowers that were growing in the underbrush. "You like to be out in nature," I concluded.

"Yes," she explained casually, "I grew up in the country."

"In the country - you?" I asked, totally amazed.

She looked up at me from her crouch. "You thought I was a city kid, right?"

"To be honest, yes. I never would've come to a different conclusion by myself." Her external appearance really didn't lead one to that thought, either. A woman like her!

"I am now, actually," she said regretfully, looking around. She stood up and brushed the dirt from her hands on her jeans.

"Not entirely." I laughed and pointed at her dirty pants. "I don't think something like that would happen to a city woman." That made her even more lovable!

She looked down at herself and laughed with me. "Probably not. When I'm out here, I never think about things like that." She sighed and looked toward the edge of the woods. "Unfortunately, though, I don't get out here very often."

I went over to her and put my arms around her waist. "But you're here now." I looked up at her. "Let's enjoy it. Where are the prettiest spots?"

Her gaze wandered off to the left. She raised an arm. "There's a clearing back there, completely hidden off in the woods. Sometimes I spend the whole day there, when I have time."

I got the impression that this was a very private place for her. "But that's your s.p.a.ce," I objected.

She smiled enchantingly at me. "I'll show it to you."

We walked over to it slowly. The soft ground sprang back under every step. One could walk around here for hours without getting tired. The asphalt of the big city suddenly seemed to me like a completely perverse sensation.

I would never have guessed where we'd find the clearing. If one didn't know exactly where to look, one could walk past it time and time again without ever noticing it was there.

"It feels like we're on the hunt for the treasures of Atlantis," I marveled. "A real adventure!"

"I felt something like that the first time I was here. I found it by pure coincidence. And I have yet to meet another person here." She pushed the last bough aside, and we stood in the middle of what felt like a little natural room.

When I looked up, I saw the treetops waving high above me in the sunshine. The rays streamed down to the ground in a thousand bands of golden light.

"I've seen things like this in photographs," I mused dreamily, "but never in nature."

She looked up as well. "It's like its own little world. Its own sun, its own light. And no people." She let her head fall again and looked over at me. "Except you and I."

I felt the tension that had suddenly appeared and wanted to remove a little of the intimacy. "Like Eve and Eve," I joked, "without Adam." Where was this supposed to lead? She was still much too fragile.

Apparently, she thought differently. She walked toward me, and then leaned against one of the larger trees. If the snake was this seductive with Eve in Paradise, no wonder she picked the apple!

She reached out her arms. "Come," she said softly.

I couldn't resist her. I had been yearning for her the whole time. She let herself slide down the tree a little, so that she would be the same height as I was. It was as though I was hypnotized by her mouth. I let myself fall into her arms and kissed her.

At first, it was a tremendous relief to touch her at last, finally to be able to kiss her. Then I noticed that her kiss was different than usual. She was kissing me back, but with less pa.s.sion than experience, and she had enough of the latter that it was hard to tell the difference. I pulled back. "You're in pain," I remarked.

"No," she contradicted immediately. She tried to pull me back to her.

I braced myself against the tree trunk. "Yes," I repeated. "You usually kiss differently."

She lifted her face to mine and ran her lips softly across mine. "Isn't it good?"

Oh, now I had to watch out! This was drifting in the wrong direction. But I couldn't. Her proximity made me completely defenseless. "Don't," I pleaded. She just looked at me.

I let myself sink forward and kissed her again. I tried to be careful, but she kept going deeper. She knew I couldn't resist her kisses. I had told her that myself.

Slowly, she let herself glide down along the tree. The soft forest floor was more comfortable than any bed. She lay next to me. I caressed her thighs, then reached her bottom and let my hand rest there. She began to undress me. When I began to caress her again, she began to moan. That reminded me of something.

I pushed gently away from her. "You're acting," I stated conclusively.

"No," she argued immediately. "I want you." She slid her hands under by shirt again, trying to convince me. "Come on, let me. You want it too."

Her hand against my skin should easily have brought me to boiling, but I walled myself off from it. "I want it," I admitted. "I know that. But I can also tell that you're not in the mood."