"What is this?" Olivia laughs again, so hard that tears actually come to her eyes. Her music choice is horrid, her singing even worse, and now she's laughing? Something tears inside my chest, and I struggle to find my next breath.

"This is metal, Lex. I like to listen to angry music when I'm angry. Don't ask. I can't really explain it. I guess ... it makes my problems seems like drops in an ocean or something?" I lick my lips as we pull into the parking lot for Whole Foods.

"What are your problems exactly?" I ask, leaning in close to her as she pulls into a parking s.p.a.ce. Olivia tears off her seat belt, unlocks the doors and then tosses me a wicked smile.

"Well," she begins, opening the door and pausing with one high heeled foot resting on the ground outside the vehicle, "you, for starters." And then she's climbing out and walking away before I can even get my door open.

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" I ask as I catch up to her with long strides and follow her through the automatic doors into the store. Olivia's eyes scan the signs until she sees one labeled for seafood.

"It means," she begins as she marches across the floor in her heels, "that you are an enigma as well as an a.s.shole and that I have no clue what to do with you." I follow Olivia into the back of the store and help her scan the refrigerated areas for geoducks. We don't find anything and end up having to ask an employee. I try to wait until Olivia's done with her brother's errand before I pursue the conversation. "No, it's p.r.o.nounced gooey duck. My brother says it's a clam that's shaped like a p.e.n.i.s." I cringe, feeling uncomfortable and out of place in the busy grocery store. I don't often wait, don't ever go grocery shopping. I go out to restaurants, to parties, have Mavis the cleaning lady or Claudia purchase food for me. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I went to a grocery store. It's ... overwhelming, to say the least. I almost begin to wonder in that moment if Olivia's right, if I am a 'brat'. What sort of man is so unfamiliar with a supermarket that he feels out of place standing in the seafood aisle?

"No," Olivia says, exasperated. She makes a vaguely phallic shape with her hands. "He distinctly said it was shaped like a p.e.n.i.s. I'm sure of it. You know what? It's okay. My brother's girlfriend will just have to live with a few less p.e.n.i.s clams in her salad tonight." Olivia storms away, like a cloud of purple, gliding through the aisles and pausing next to the wine. She searches the labels with an expert eye and snags one before I can even see what she's selected. "I promised to give up wine once I got rid of you, you know?"

"That's admirable of you," I say, keeping step beside her as we fly across the floor and end up at a self-checkout. Olivia breezes through this as well, scanning the wine, swiping her card before I can even offer to pay and pulling me along in her orbit on the way out. When we get to the parking lot, she yanks her keys from her purse and presses the b.u.t.ton on the key fob to unlock the doors. Before she gets a chance to tell me no, I move to her side of the car and open her door.

Olivia gives me a look but doesn't say anything, sliding into the Lexus and letting me slam it shut behind her.

"And here I thought chivalry was dead?" she asks as I climb into the pa.s.senger's side and fold my arms across my chest. "Or at the very least that you were immune to it." Olivia pauses with her hands on the steering wheel and then forces a smile onto her lips. "See? I can be reasonable at times. If men want to open the door me, I can accept that with grace."

"Why are we even discussing it then?" I ask, leaning back against the window and looking her up and down. "If it matters so little?"

"I never said that it mattered so little." She imitates my voice and I glare at her. "Only that it's ... nice. Just because a woman wants to be a capable adult person doesn't mean she doesn't want anyone to do anything nice for her ever, that's all. That's all I'm trying to say." Olivia starts the car and, in true city driving style, peels out into an opening in the traffic without blinking at the nearness of the surrounding vehicles.

I watch her, focus on the small bead of sweat near her temple. Looking at her like this, she doesn't seem so unreasonable anymore.

"Where does your brother live?" I ask, deciding to change the subject before it gets too heated. I need to resist fighting with Olivia tonight, even if in some perverse way I enjoy our squabbling. This is about bringing her closer to me, not pushing her farther away. Olivia snorts and shakes her head.

"Are you kidding? My brother rents a s.h.i.tty apartment in the Tenderloin because he likes it there. We're actually going to the house of one of his girlfriends, the one who asked the rest of them to marry her." Olivia wrinkles up her nose and I'm glad to see that she's just as confused as I am about the whole situation. "Maggie lives on Kansas Street in Potrero Hill, some fancy hippie compound that she shares with her other girlfriends, Marina and Angie." Olivia looks back at me and we both smile.

"I don't know how they do it," I say, trying my best to relax and let Olivia handle the evening, guide me through it like she guided me blind and gagged through some of the best s.e.x of my life. I bite my tongue to keep from groaning at the memory.

"I know, right? I'd get jealous, I think. One lover's more than enough for me anyway."

Silence descends and neither of us speaks for several minutes. I wonder if she's considering the implications of her own words, or if it's just me who's reading into them.

"You can put your shirt on when we get there," she finally says, shrugging her shoulders. "I brought a change of clothes, too. Trust me, you'll feel super out of place in your suit. n.o.body there will be wearing them."

"You're serious about me and this T-shirt, aren't you?" I ask as we pull up in front of a pale pink house with orange accents and a whimsical fence that borders the property, giving it an oddly private appearance in the middle of such a crowded street. The buildings on either side loom up and over the cottage, but it doesn't appear to mind.

"As a heart attack," Olivia says, snagging one of the last spots on the entire block. She shuts off the vehicle and looks over at me. "Lex," she begins and then thinks better about whatever it was she was going to say. "Don't embarra.s.s, okay?" Olivia climbs out and I follow after, my bag in hand, feeling that strange sense of displacement again. I'm not in my usual element, so far from it in fact that I actually start to feel beads of sweat on my forehead. I realize with a start that I'm nervous. I never get nervous.

"Knock, knock," Olivia says, reaching down to grab my wrist when I hesitate at the open door. "Craig? Mom?" She yanks me inside, through a narrow living room and into a kitchen where a woman with dreadlocks stands, cooking something on the stove. When she hears us, she glances over her shoulder with a smile.

"Oli, so good to see you again," she says, wiping her hands off on her ap.r.o.n and moving over to us with quiet footsteps. Her arms are covered in tattoos and she has at least three nose piercings that I can count. Olivia tries to shake the woman's hand but she pulls her into a tight hug, making murmuring noises that Olivia wrinkles her nose at. "Mmm. So good to see you. So so good." The woman pulls back and studies Olivia's suit and the plastic bag she's carrying along with her purse. I was so nervous I didn't even notice it until now. "We're family now, Oli. Family. That's so important in this day and age, don't you think?"

"Um, sure," Olivia says, raising her eyebrows and trying to gesture at me for an introduction. "And this is "

"Welcome," the woman says, wrapping her arms around me before I can protest. My nostrils flare, but Olivia's flashing me a warning glare in the background, so I stand stone still, the last remnants of my hard-on fading away in an instant. When she pulls back, she smiles at me and rubs my shoulder in a loving circle. I look to Olivia again for clues on how I should act. At the parties I normally attend, n.o.body hugs, n.o.body rubs strangers in comforting circles and they absolutely do not rise up onto their toes to sniff each other. "Wow, you smell good," the woman says and Olivia's face cracks with laughter. I watch as she tries desperately to bite it back.

"Maggie, this is Lex. Lex, Maggie. Maggie's Craig's ... fiancee?" she asks questioningly. Maggie doesn't bother responding and continues to rub my shoulder with her hand, looking at me like I suspect a butcher might size up a piece of meat. "Lex is my ... " I wait in tense antic.i.p.ation for Olivia to label our new relationship. "Boss. Maggie here is a horticulturist and Lex is a billionaire CEO of a bloodthirsty real estate investment group."

"That's amazing," Maggie says, sniffing my collar again. I take a step back and push down my outrage. I imagine it won't do me much good here. She pauses to glance over her shoulder at Olivia. "And pot's legal now, so you can just say I grow pot. Horticulturist sounds too ... I don't know, pompous." Maggie turns back to me with a wink and finally moves away from me. "I have a couple of operations up in Humboldt County, but my heart's really here in the Bay Area." She touches a hand to her chest and then heads back to the stove. "Everybody else is already chilling in the backyard. Feel free to join them and I'll meet you out there."

"We'd like to change clothes if that's okay? Do you have a bathroom we could use?" Olivia asks, giving me another look and a silly smile. I find myself smiling back, like we're cohorts in this operation.

"Down the hall to your right," Maggie says, humming and swaying with the sound of jazz music that's playing in the background. Olivia nods her chin at me and we head down the hallway together. When we hit the bathroom, she grabs the door and moves inside, pausing with it open like she's waiting for me.

"Well?" she asks, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I have yet another erection building for her. d.a.m.n it. "You've already seen me naked. I don't care if you want to change in here with me." She pauses as my eyes widen in surprise. "But we're definitely not f.u.c.king right now, so don't even try me."

"Why so adamantly against it?" I ask, wishing I'd had the b.a.l.l.s to stop by her place last night. If I had, would she have labeled me as a stalker? Maybe I'm too concerned with not being one that I'm actually turning into one? I grit my teeth and Olivia sees the gesture, mistaking it for s.e.xual frustration.

"Whoa there, tiger. Can't you just have one of your other lady friends come and visit you if you're that desperate?" Her words are light and teasing as she slips off her suit jacket and tosses it onto the counter, next to a small collection of potted cacti that I can't figure out for the life of me. However, I hear an intent there, a quest for information.

"I told you, Olivia, that I would be exclusive with you for the duration ... " I almost say of the contract. Instead, I trail off and let her fill in her own words, using the brief moment of silence to admire the gentle curve of Olivia's back as she unb.u.t.tons her shirt and slips it off. She trades the professional b.u.t.ton up for a blue cotton T-shirt that clings to her curves and begs me to touch them with my fingers. "Unless you tell me to specifically f.u.c.k somebody else, I won't. Not while we're involved." When I wrote up the contract, I figured it would be much easier to entice a woman to sign it if I wasn't sleeping around, if they could trust that I was clean. Knowing your partner's disease free makes things a lot smoother in the bedroom. There's a certain factor of confidence that comes into play. I, on the other hand, have not done my due diligence. But how am I going to ask Olivia for her test results now? If my goal tonight is to not start a fight, that would be the absolute wrong way of going about it.

Olivia turns around, dropping her slacks to the floor and revealing a pair of ... black lacy panties. It's the first item of lingerie I've seen yet. My c.o.c.k gets so rigid it hurts, and I find myself leaning against the counter with one hand.

"You're telling me that if I told you to go out there and f.u.c.k Maggie, you would." My mouth curls into a scowl. "I mean, provided she was into it which," Olivia chuckles under her breath, "I'm pretty d.a.m.n sure she was."

"Yes," I grind out, praying to G.o.d above that she doesn't. Olivia stops laughing and tilts her head to look at me.

"You're a strange man, Lex," she says, sliding her panty hose down her legs. I have to look away to keep my composure. "But you don't have to take this so seriously."

"Why? Because you're not?" I snap back at her. She yanks off her tights and then throws them at me. I bite my tongue to keep from asking her about the men in her life. It doesn't matter. It's not my f.u.c.king business, but I so want it to be. Mine. I have to fight the urge to take her in my arms possessively. That's not what this relationship was supposed to be about. I take deep breaths to calm myself.

"Stop freaking out, Lex," she says, reaching out a hand and patting my back. I stand up straight and turn to face her, yanking the b.u.t.tons on my shirt apart. She watches me and swallows hard before reaching down to grab her jeans. "I don't know why you're getting all weird after our one-night stand. Or ... like day and a half stand, I guess it was." I throw my b.u.t.ton-down onto the floor and slip the feminist T-shirt over my head. It stretches across my muscles and Olivia's eyes get wide. I feel some of the anger start to slip away, and the smirk crawls back onto my lips.

"I already explained this to you," I begin and she sighs, waving her hand at me.

"Yeah, I know. You want to be dominated, bleh, bleh, bleh. I get it. You want to know what it's like to give up control. I think this goes way beyond just a fetish for you, Lex. I don't think you even really care about the domination stuff whips or chains or whatever the f.u.c.k it is you imagine when you think BDSM. Based on your behavior and the things you keep saying, I don't think you need a business deal, Lex, I think you want a partner."

Olivia yanks up her jeans, fastens the b.u.t.ton and then grabs her heels in her hands before sweeping past me and out the bathroom door.

I don't even have time to process what she's said before she disappears from sight.

"s.h.i.t," I groan, biting at my nails and glancing over my shoulder. Lex doesn't follow me out of the bathroom, but G.o.dd.a.m.n it. Why did I say that? Why the h.e.l.l did that c.r.a.p even spew from my mouth? Who cares what Lex wants? Even if what I said was true, I had no right to say it. "I am such a dumb s.h.i.t," I grind out, scooting out the back door and setting my heels on the brick pavers that make up the porch. n.o.body else is wearing shoes, so why should I?

"Oli, you made it!" It's Craig, jogging over and giving me a hug before he starts looking around for something to pick on me about. "Where's Lex?" he asks, and I ignore the question, ruffling his red hair with a sigh.

"Don't you mean, where's your geoduck? The people at Whole Foods laughed at me." Craig wrinkles up his nose. This whole p.e.n.i.s clam hunt thing was not apparently designed to pull a fast one on me. I guess this s.h.i.t is legit; we really are having geoduck avocado salad tonight.

"If you really need some," Lex oozes in that perfect f.u.c.k-me-right-now voice of his, "then I'd be happy to drive around and look at some other stores." He slides his arm around my neck and pulls me close, like we're chums, like we're pals, like we're a ... couple. I wrinkle my nose and step away from him, ignoring a bemused to look from Craig and a blatant co-stare from the moms.

I look over at Lex and try not to drool. Seeing a dude that's that masculine wearing a shirt proclaiming to be a feminist gets me off in all the right ways. The black cotton stretches across his muscles, highlighting those perfect pecs, his toned abs, the swell of his biceps. Oh sweet baby geoducks, my boss is a f.u.c.king hottie. I cough into my fist and attempt to peel my eyes away from Lex's lower half. His legs are encased in form fitting designer jeans that are stuffed into some rugged black leather boots. It's literally the first time I've seen him wear shoes other than loafers and it gets the lady parts all up in a tizzy. Pair that with the visible bulge in his crotch region and the firm little a.s.s highlighted by the pockets on the back of his jeans and you've got yourself some trouble. Lex doesn't look like a sophisticated but s.e.xy corporate goon right now; he looks like a f.u.c.king bada.s.s. Please tell me he doesn't ride a motorcycle in his spare time. That would be overkill.

"Nah, don't worry about it, but thanks anyway," Craig says, reaching out and shaking Lex's hand. My brother clutches a beer bottle in the other one with no label because y'know, he makes his own here at Maggie's house and he uses it to gesture at his other lovers. "You guys got a chance to meet up with Maggie?"

I grin big at him and pray that Maxi gets here soon. I'm going to need her support to survive the night.

"We did, thanks. She looks like she's cookin' up a storm in there?" Craig smiles back at me and I just know he's getting a thrill out of making me uncomfortable. This will only get worse before it gets better.

"Yeah, actually. We've got the geoduck avocado salad to start along with some roasted spicy root vegetables, crispy tofu macaroni salad, and locally caught salmon. It's going to be a feast fit for a king." Craig winks at Lex as he scoots backyard, dragging his bare feet along the brick pavers. I flip him the bird and keep smiling, knowing how much he enjoys taunting me with his food choices. "So. Let me introduce everybody, so we can get past the awkwardness of first time meetings and onto the party." Craig moves over to the long table set up in the white gravel that lines most of the backyard. It's a huge yard by San Francisco standards and although the neighbors have a pretty direct view down on our little gathering, it feels private in the last rays of sunshine. Already, there are tiki torches burning around the perimeter of the yard and several strings of white lights adorn the gazebo in the back and thread through the pickets of the fence.

"Everybody!" Craig shouts, grabbing a fork off the table and tapping it against his bottle. "I'd like to introduce you to my sister, Olivia. This," he points over at Lex, "is her billionaire boyfriend, Lex." I purse my lips tight and exchange a look with the billionaire in question. He's smiling devilishly at me which is actually pretty frightening. I have no freaking clue what's going on inside that gorgeous skull of his. I don't bother to argue with the boyfriend comment it will get me nowhere with this crowd. "Olivia, Lex, this is my life partner, Angie." Craig points at the blonde with the weird half-smiles. "This is my life partner, Lisle." A man with dark brown hair and a thick pair of gla.s.ses raises his own label free beer up to greet us. "My life partner, Marina." That would be the lovely lady in the back with the shirt that says Big Beautiful Bay Area Black Woman only she's actually Asian and in all reality, she's probably a size zero. "And last but not least, my life partner, Josh." Josh is swinging in the wooden seat to my left, his arm around an older lady that must be family of some sort. He grins at me and gives a thumbs-up.

"You know the moms, of course," Craig says, moving over to our parents and putting his arms around their waists. "And then there's ... " I'm sorry, but I actually tune out the rest of Craig's introductions. There are fifteen other people here, none of whom I've ever met before, none of whom I'll probably ever see again. Each one is somehow related to one of the lover menagerie and only about half are p.i.s.sed off. This group clumps in the corner and glares, generating buzzwords like unnatural, weirdos, h.o.m.os, that sort of thing. They're promptly ignored and the party continues onward.

"I am so f.u.c.king sorry I brought you here," I grind out, scooting back over towards Lex. Believe it or not, but I actually feel like he's the lesser of two evils here. He eats Chinese food with me and doesn't drive a car fueled by used cooking oil not that there's anything wrong with that, I'm just saying that in this strange instance, Lex seems more relatable to me. If my intention in bringing him here was to drive him off and get rid of him for good, it doesn't seem to be working. I can't stop ogling his body and he can't seem to stop noticing me ogling his body. d.a.m.n it.

"Olivia, I'm scared." I turn around and find Maxi, slinking into the backyard with two winegla.s.ses. I s.n.a.t.c.h one from her before she even gets a chance to tell me what out of the many choices here it is that's frightening her. "That Maggie chick just asked me I liked gooey ducks. What the h.e.l.l is a gooey duck?" I laugh my a.s.s off and end up sloshing wine all over my fingers and I'm not even buzzed yet. What a fun start to the evening. "Oh my c.r.a.pping c.r.a.p. Who the h.e.l.l is that and how the f.u.c.k do I get him to go home with me tonight?" she asks, nodding her chin at a deliciously tight a.s.s clad in denim.

I purse my lips.

"Maxi," I begin, but she's already started on her rant.

"He is to freaking die for. Do you see that b.u.t.t?"

"Maxi."

"And that back? The muscles? Oh my G.o.d, Olivia."

"Maxi."

"Forget Lex Lyndon. You can keep him. This guy is m-i-n-e."

"Maxi, that is Lex Lyndon," I finally grind out and her face pales as he turns around and spots us, moving across the bricks in those s.e.xy leather boots of his. "Don't embarra.s.s me," I warn her. I think I've said that same phrase to Lex, Maxi, both moms, and Craig sometime today. Or if I haven't, then I meant to and just haven't gotten to it yet. It's something they all need to hear.

"Mr. Lyndon," Maxi chirps, going pale. She's still scared of him, even if she won't admit it. "Fancy seeing you here." She grins big at him and he pauses, looking unsure of himself for a moment. My guess is that he's not used to these types of social situations. h.e.l.l, when it comes to a gathering of liberal West Coast hippies (myself included), you never know what to expect. I can't exactly blame him. "You look ... different when you're not wearing a suit," she supplies lamely, gesturing at Lex with her winegla.s.s. "Oh, and I'm Maxi, by the way. Maxi Heath. Head of your accounting department."

"Call me Lex, please," he says, laying out the charm for my best friend, giving her a smile that I've never seen before. I feel my skin p.r.i.c.kle with irritation. Maxi glances between Lex and me for a moment and then nods. I don't like that nod. I have seen that freaking nod before. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise," Maxi chirps, steering me away with a faux smile stuck to her teeth. "Come chat me up later and we can talk about Olivia and all her eccentricities. Do you know why she keeps a stash of condoms in the living room?"

"Maxi," I snap, but she's already tugging me away from Lex's raised eyebrow and horribly delicious chest. It's so ... wide. And hard. I want to lay my cheek against it and fall asleep all sweaty and s.e.xed up like I was on Monday night. Argh! "Why are you talking to him like that? Do not tell him things. Do not tell him about the condom stash. Lex is our boss, Maxi."

"He's your boyfriend," she states matter-of-factly. I wrinkle my nose.

"Um, that's ridiculous on so many levels. Can we talk about something else for once? I'm sick of talking about Lex Lyndon."

"That's because you're falling in love with him. It frustrates you because you can't accept it. It's okay. I can see in his eyes that he's falling for you, too." I smack my palms against my face and send wine sloshing onto the patio.

"What happened to inviting him here to get rid of him? That was your idea."

"Actually, I was having you invite him because I knew you'd like having him here anyway, and it was a good way to test him and see if he was worthy. Anybody who can walk through the flames of your family unscathed is worth keeping. I know you didn't want a man right now, but you found one, so you might as well keep it. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I hate you so much right now."

"I love you, too, babe." Maxi gives me an air kiss and spins away to mingle with the crowd.

I stand there in silence for awhile, finishing my gla.s.s of wine before I brave the moms.

"You brought Lex?" Carol asks, sweeping blonde bangs away from her forehead. I stare at her in her orange wrap dress and try to figure out how I should respond to that. "I think that's wonderful. This is the first time you've ever brought anyone to a family function, isn't it?"

"No comment." I set my winegla.s.s down on the table and grab a label free beer. It tastes like c.r.a.p, but I a.s.sume that it has alcohol in it and that it probably won't kill me, so it works.

"What do you think of the crowd?" June asks, and I'm happy see that she, at least, looks as uncomfortable as I am. She leans in and whispers conspiratorially. "I'm not a big fan of any of Craig's lovers, to be honest with you."

I shrug.

"Me neither, but what are you going to do? You raised him," I say, raising an eyebrow at them. "Whose genes are to blame for this fiasco?" The moms exchange one of their famous silent looks and smile.

"We're just happy to have a boring heteros.e.xual couple in the family now."

"Wait, what?" I ask, touching two fingers to my temple. "Lex and I are not a couple. Why do you people keep saying that? Is there a conspiracy happening here or what?" The moms exchange another look, communicating telepathically as I down my beer and slam the gla.s.s down on the table. A second later, warm hands are gliding across my belly, and I have to bite my tongue hard to keep from groaning.

"Good evening, June, Carol." Lex lays his stupid act on thick for my parents, making my belly flip flop and sending my heart racing. With his firm, muscular form pressed up against me like that, it's hard to think straight. "Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you, too, Alexander," June says, putting a chip into her mouth with an inordinate amount of grace. Who eats chips gracefully? It's just not right. My moms are too perfect. How they ended up with Craig is another story altogether. "Olivia tells me you're off to the symphony next weekend? I'm excited to hear about it."

"I had no idea you were such a fan of the arts," Lex says, and I roll my eyes, peeling his fingers off my belly and stepping away from the heat of his form. He gives me a look out of the corner of his eye and continues to smile like the fake little a.s.shole he is. "Next time, I'll make sure to get you and your lovely wife tickets as well. We can go as a group." June smiles back at him as I reach down and tangle my fingers through Lex's, dragging him away from the main group to the only private area of the garden, the section near the angry family members. They glare at us and continue to whisper and gossip, but I ignore them. I think one of them lifts a silver cross in my direction, but when I fail to burn, she gives up.

"What the h.e.l.l are you doing?" I ask, taking both of his hands in mine and hating how good that feels. Maybe everyone else's delusions are starting to get to me? I don't actually like Alexander Lyndon, do I? What the f.u.c.k? I stare into his gray eyes, noticing for the first time today that they're not steel and concrete right now, that they've melted into that pool of liquid silver. c.r.a.p. "Why do you keep touching me and acting so friendly to everyone? What's your deal, Lex?"

"My deal, Olivia, is that I ... " He pauses, and I think he suddenly realizes that not even he knows the answer to that question. I drop my gaze to his shirt and try not to smirk at the writing on the front of it. I like him like this, casual, soft, messy. Not as s.e.xy as when he had j.i.z.z in his hair, but close.

"Do you know why I asked you to come here?" I tell him, hoping this will distract him from whatever strange motives he has. Whatever they are, they are not as pure as he's making them out to be. "Because I wanted to get rid of you. I though that if I surrounded you with all of this weirdness that you'd turn tail and run back to corporate headquarters. So why? Why aren't you running?"

Lex stares down at me, and I can see he's having to physically hold himself back. From what, I'm not sure. Touching me? Kissing me? Punching me? Who the h.e.l.l knows with this guy?

"This," Lex gestures at the crowd of people, "doesn't frighten me, Olivia. In fact, I find it fascinating. When I told you I wanted to let go, to feel that sense of responsibility slip away, you're right: it wasn't just about the s.e.x. I don't mind the stuffy parties or the corporate functions, but getting a chance to experience a different world, that's monumental for me. I feel completely lost here, completely out of my element." Lex leans forward and brushes a strand of red hair away from my face. "And I like it."

My pulse picks up as I lift my hand and cover Lex's fingers with my own, pressing his warm flesh against mine. I don't know why I do it, but I do. And it almost feels ... good.

"You're telling me you like these people?" I ask, nodding my chin towards the group milling around to our right. Lex stares into my face and I stare right back. We hold our eye contact for at least a full minute, right up until Maggie comes out and calls everyone in for dinner. The angry family members disperse and sidle around us, glaring and mumbling under their breath. Lex and I ignore them, while I wait for his answer.

"Not these people," he tells me, and my inner oh-s.h.i.t-ometer starts to go off. I sense an oddly romantic moment looming and find that my throat's suddenly gone dry. I don't do romantic. I don't even f.u.c.king like romantic. f.u.c.k! But I find myself rooted to the spot, Lex's hand still pressed into the side of my face. "You," he says, and I almost completely topple over. No. Oh no. No, no, no. Is Lex ... is he falling for me? That's impossible though. He's an alpha male d.i.c.khead. Alpha male d.i.c.kheads never fall for anybody ever. The contract he offered suddenly doesn't seem so bad when compared with this. Want me to beat your a.s.s with a belt for a hundred million bucks? Fine. But don't say s.h.i.t like that.

Lex leans down towards me, and I don't move. By not moving, I make a conscious decision to accept that his lips will eventually touch mine. Close, closer, closest. Lex's mouth touches mine and a spark explodes in my belly, setting my body on fire. My hand releases his, letting it slide along my jaw and onto the back of my neck. I mimic the motion, tangling my fingers on the nape of his neck. Our lips brush and then our tongues, slowly sliding together as he drags me forward a few inches, raising me to the tips of my bare toes as he stands up straighter. Our front halves connect, and his erection stabs me in the belly.

It's not our first kiss, but it feels like our first kiss.

s.h.i.t.

I pull away first, panting heavily, my skin fluttering, sensitive even to the touch of the wind as a slight breeze curls around us. I look at Lex and he stares right back at me. He looks just as shocked as I am by the moment.

"Let's go eat. Don't f.u.c.k up this commitment celebration ceremony dinner for my brother," I say, hoping to p.i.s.s him off. It works, and Lex narrows his eyes on me. This, I can do. Anger, I can deal with. I will fight with Lex all day long, but I will never fall in love with him. It's just not in my personality. Love means giving up control, and while Lex might be desperate to do that, I'm not. I am in control, always in control.

There's a reason the phrase is falling in love. To achieve that goal, you have to know when to let go, when to close your eyes, when to wait for the other person to catch you.