If her version of what she had overheard was correct, and he had no doubt that in substance it was so, then a situation had arisen which doubt that in substance it was so, then a situation had arisen which concerned every member of the Cloade family closely. The person concerned every member of the Cloade family closely. The person most fitted to deal with this was clearly Rowley's Uncle Jeremy. As a most fitted to deal with this was clearly Rowley's Uncle Jeremy. As a solicitor, Jeremy Cloade would know what use could best be made of solicitor, Jeremy Cloade would know what use could best be made of this surprising information, and exactly what steps to take. this surprising information, and exactly what steps to take.

Though Rowley would have liked to take action himself, he realised rather grudgingly that it would be far better to lay the matter before a rather grudgingly that it would be far better to lay the matter before a shrewd and experienced lawyer. The sooner Jeremy was in shrewd and experienced lawyer. The sooner Jeremy was in possession of this information the better, and accordingly Rowley bent his footsteps straight to Jeremy's house in the High Street. his footsteps straight to Jeremy's house in the High Street.

The little maid who opened the door informed him that Mr and Mrs Cloade were still at the dinner table. She would have shown him in Cloade were still at the dinner table. She would have shown him in there, but Rowley negatived this and said he would wait in Jeremy's there, but Rowley negatived this and said he would wait in Jeremy's study till they had finished. He did not particularly want to include study till they had finished. He did not particularly want to include Frances in the colloquy. Indeed the fewer people who knew about it Frances in the colloquy. Indeed the fewer people who knew about it the better, until they should have determined on a definite course of the better, until they should have determined on a definite course of action. action.

He wandered restlessly up and down Jeremy's study. On the flat- topped desk was a tin dispatch box labelled Sir William Jessamy topped desk was a tin dispatch box labelled Sir William Jessamy Deceased. The shelves held a collection of legal tomes. There was an Deceased. The shelves held a collection of legal tomes. There was an old photograph of Frances in evening dress and one of her father, Lord old photograph of Frances in evening dress and one of her father, Lord Edward Trenton, in riding kit. On the desk was the picture of a young Edward Trenton, in riding kit. On the desk was the picture of a young man in uniform - Jeremy's son Antony, killed in the war. man in uniform - Jeremy's son Antony, killed in the war.

Rowley winced and turned away. He sat down in a chair and stared at Lord Edward Trenton instead. Lord Edward Trenton instead.

In the dining-room Frances said to her husband: "I wonder what Rowley wants?"

Jeremy said wearily: "Probably fallen foul of some Government regulation. No farmer understands more than a quarter of these forms they have to fill up. understands more than a quarter of these forms they have to fill up. Rowley's a conscientious fellow. He gets worried." Rowley's a conscientious fellow. He gets worried."

"He's nice," said Frances, "but terribly slow. I have a feeling, you know, that things aren't going too well between him and Lynn." know, that things aren't going too well between him and Lynn."

Jeremy murmured vacantly: "Lynn - oh, yes, of course. Forgive me, I - I don't seem able to concentrate. The strain -" concentrate. The strain -"

Frances said swiftly: "Don't think about it. It's going to be all right, I tell you."

"You frighten me sometimes, Frances. You're so terribly reckless. You don't realise -" don't realise -"

"I realise everything. I'm not afraid. Really, you know, Jeremy, I'm rather enjoying myself -" rather enjoying myself -"

"That, my dear," said Jeremy, "is just what causes me such anxiety."

She smiled.

"Come," she said. "You mustn't keep that bucolic young man waiting too long. Go and help him to fill up form eleven hundred and ninety- too long. Go and help him to fill up form eleven hundred and ninety- nine, or whatever it is." nine, or whatever it is."

But as they came out of the dining-room the front door banged shut. Edna came to tell them that Mr Rowley had said he wouldn't wait and Edna came to tell them that Mr Rowley had said he wouldn't wait and that it was nothing that really mattered. that it was nothing that really mattered.

Chapter 13.

On that particular Tuesday afternoon, Lynn Marchmont had gone for a long walk. Conscious of a growing restlessness and dissatisfaction long walk. Conscious of a growing restlessness and dissatisfaction with herself, she felt the need for thinking things out. with herself, she felt the need for thinking things out.

She had not seen Rowley for some days. After their somewhat stormy parting on the morning she had asked him to lend her five hundred parting on the morning she had asked him to lend her five hundred pounds they had met as usual. Lynn realised that her demand had pounds they had met as usual. Lynn realised that her demand had been unreasonable and that Rowley had been well within his rights in been unreasonable and that Rowley had been well within his rights in turning it down. Nevertheless reasonableness has never been a quality turning it down. Nevertheless reasonableness has never been a quality that appeals to lovers. Outwardly things were the same between her that appeals to lovers. Outwardly things were the same between her and Rowley, inwardly she was not so sure. The last few days she had and Rowley, inwardly she was not so sure. The last few days she had found unbearably monotonous, yet hardly liked to acknowledge to found unbearably monotonous, yet hardly liked to acknowledge to herself that David Hunter's sudden departure to London with his sister herself that David Hunter's sudden departure to London with his sister might have something to do with their monotony. David, she admitted might have something to do with their monotony. David, she admitted ruefully, was an exciting person... ruefully, was an exciting person...

As for her relations, at the moment she found them all unbearably trying. trying.

Her mother was in the best of spirits and had annoyed Lynn at lunch that day by announcing that she was going to try and find a second that day by announcing that she was going to try and find a second gardener. "Old Tom really can't keep up with things here." gardener. "Old Tom really can't keep up with things here."

"But, darling, we can't afford it," Lynn had exclaimed.

"Nonsense, I really think, Lynn, that Gordon would be terribly upset if he could see how the garden has gone down. He was so particular he could see how the garden has gone down. He was so particular always about the border, and the gra.s.s being kept mown, and the always about the border, and the gra.s.s being kept mown, and the paths in good order - and just look at it now. I feel Gordon would want paths in good order - and just look at it now. I feel Gordon would want it put in order again." it put in order again."

"Even if we have to borrow money from his widow to do it."

"I told you, Lynn, Rosaleen couldn't have been nicer about it. I really think she quite saw my point of view. I have a nice balance at the bank think she quite saw my point of view. I have a nice balance at the bank after paying all the bills. And I really think a second gardener would be after paying all the bills. And I really think a second gardener would be an economy. Think of the extra vegetables we could grow." an economy. Think of the extra vegetables we could grow."

"We could buy a lot of extra vegetables for a good deal less than another three pounds a week." another three pounds a week."

"I think we could get someone for less than that, dear. There are men coming out of the Services now who want jobs. The paper says so." coming out of the Services now who want jobs. The paper says so."

Lynn said dryly: "I doubt if you'll find them in Warmsley Vale - or in Warmsley Heath." Warmsley Heath."

But although the matter was left like that, the tendency of her mother to count on Rosaleen as a regular source of support haunted Lynn. It to count on Rosaleen as a regular source of support haunted Lynn. It revived the memory of David's sneering words. revived the memory of David's sneering words.

So, feeling disgruntled and out of temper, she set out to walk her black mood off. mood off.

Her temper was not improved by a meeting with Aunt Kathie outside the post office. Aunt Kathie was in good spirits. the post office. Aunt Kathie was in good spirits.

"I think, Lynn dear, that we shall soon have good news."

"What on earth do you mean. Aunt Kathie?"

Mrs Cloade nodded and smiled and looked wise.

"I've had the most astonishing communications - really astonishing. A simple happy end to all our troubles. I had one setback, but since then simple happy end to all our troubles. I had one setback, but since then I've got the message to Try try try again. If at first you don't succeed, I've got the message to Try try try again. If at first you don't succeed, etc... I'm not going to betray any secrets, Lynn dear, and the last thing etc... I'm not going to betray any secrets, Lynn dear, and the last thing I should want to do would be to raise false hopes prematurely, but I I should want to do would be to raise false hopes prematurely, but I have the strongest belief that things will very soon be quite all right. have the strongest belief that things will very soon be quite all right. And quite time, too. I am really very worried about your uncle. He And quite time, too. I am really very worried about your uncle. He worked far too hard during the war. He really needs to retire and worked far too hard during the war. He really needs to retire and devote himself to his specialised studies - but of course he can't do devote himself to his specialised studies - but of course he can't do that without an adequate income. And sometimes he has such queer that without an adequate income. And sometimes he has such queer nervous fits, I am really very worried about him. He is really quite odd." nervous fits, I am really very worried about him. He is really quite odd."

Lynn nodded thoughtfully. The change in Lionel Cloade had not escaped her notice, nor his curious alternation of moods. She escaped her notice, nor his curious alternation of moods. She suspected that he occasionally had recourse to drugs to stimulate suspected that he occasionally had recourse to drugs to stimulate himself, and she wondered whether he were not to a certain extent an himself, and she wondered whether he were not to a certain extent an addict. It would account for his extreme nervous irritability. addict. It would account for his extreme nervous irritability.

She wondered how much Aunt Kathie knew or guessed. Aunt Kathie, thought Lynn, was not such a fool as she looked. thought Lynn, was not such a fool as she looked.

Going down the High Street, she caught a glimpse of her Uncle Jeremy letting himself into his front door. He looked, Lynn thought, very much letting himself into his front door. He looked, Lynn thought, very much older just in these last three weeks. older just in these last three weeks.

She quickened her pace. She wanted to get out of Warmsley Vale, up on to the hills and open s.p.a.ces. Setting out at a brisk pace she soon on to the hills and open s.p.a.ces. Setting out at a brisk pace she soon felt better. She would go for a good tramp of six or seven miles - and felt better. She would go for a good tramp of six or seven miles - and really think things out. Always, all her life, she had been a resolute really think things out. Always, all her life, she had been a resolute clearheaded person. She had known what she wanted and what she clearheaded person. She had known what she wanted and what she didn't want. Never, until now, had she been content just to drift along... didn't want. Never, until now, had she been content just to drift along...

Yes, that was just what it was! Drifting along! An aimless, formless method of living. Ever since she had come out of the Service. A wave method of living. Ever since she had come out of the Service. A wave of nostalgia swept over her for those war days. Days when duties were of nostalgia swept over her for those war days. Days when duties were clearly defined, when life was planned and orderly - when the weight of clearly defined, when life was planned and orderly - when the weight of individual decisions had been lifted from her. But even as she individual decisions had been lifted from her. But even as she formulated the idea, she was horrified at herself. Was that really and formulated the idea, she was horrified at herself. Was that really and truly what people were secretly feeling elsewhere? Was that what, truly what people were secretly feeling elsewhere? Was that what, ultimately, war did to you? It was not the physical dangers - the mines ultimately, war did to you? It was not the physical dangers - the mines at sea, the bombs from the air, the crisp ping of a rifle bullet as you at sea, the bombs from the air, the crisp ping of a rifle bullet as you drove over a desert track. No, it was the spiritual danger of learning drove over a desert track. No, it was the spiritual danger of learning how much easier life was if you ceased to think... She, Lynn how much easier life was if you ceased to think... She, Lynn Marchmont, was no longer the clearheaded resolute intelligent girl Marchmont, was no longer the clearheaded resolute intelligent girl who had joined up. Her intelligence had been specialised, directed in who had joined up. Her intelligence had been specialised, directed in well-defined channels. Now mistress of herself and her life once more, well-defined channels. Now mistress of herself and her life once more, she was appalled at the disinclination of her mind to seize and grapple she was appalled at the disinclination of her mind to seize and grapple with her own personal problems. with her own personal problems.

With a sudden wry smile, Lynn thought to herself: Odd if it's really that newspaper character "the housewife" who has come into her own newspaper character "the housewife" who has come into her own through war conditions. The women who, hindered by innumerable through war conditions. The women who, hindered by innumerable "shall nots," were not helped by any definite "shalls." Women who had to plan and think and improvise, who had to use every inch of the to plan and think and improvise, who had to use every inch of the ingenuity they had been given, and to develop an ingenuity that they ingenuity they had been given, and to develop an ingenuity that they didn't know they had got! They alone, thought Lynn now, could stand didn't know they had got! They alone, thought Lynn now, could stand upright without a crutch, responsible for themselves and others. upright without a crutch, responsible for themselves and others.

And she, Lynn Marchmont, well educated, clever, having done a job that needed brains and close application, was now rudderless, devoid that needed brains and close application, was now rudderless, devoid of resolution - yes, hateful word: drifting... of resolution - yes, hateful word: drifting...

The people who had stayed at home, Rowley, for instance.

But at once Lynn's mind dropped from vague generalities to the immediate personal. immediate personal.

Herself and Rowley. That was the problem, the real problem - the only problem. problem.

Did she really want to marry Rowley?

Slowly the shadows lengthened to twilight and dusk. Lynn sat motionless, her chin cupped in her hands on the outskirts of a small motionless, her chin cupped in her hands on the outskirts of a small copse on the hillside, looking down over the valley. She had lost count copse on the hillside, looking down over the valley. She had lost count of time, but she knew that she was strangely reluctant to go home to of time, but she knew that she was strangely reluctant to go home to the White House. the White House.

Below her, away to the left, was Long Willows. Long Willows, her home if she married Rowley. if she married Rowley.

If! It came back to that - if - if - if!

A bird flew out of the wood with a startled cry like the cry of an angry child. child.

A billow of smoke from a train went eddying up in the sky forming as it did so a giant question mark: did so a giant question mark: Shall I marry Rowley? Do I want to marry Rowley? Did I ever want to marry Rowley? Could I bear not to marry Rowley? marry Rowley? Could I bear not to marry Rowley?

The train puffed away up the valley, the smoke quivered and dispersed. But the question mark did not fade from Lynn's mind. dispersed. But the question mark did not fade from Lynn's mind.

She had loved Rowley before she went away. "But I've come home changed," she thought. "I'm not the same Lynn." A line of poetry flared changed," she thought. "I'm not the same Lynn." A line of poetry flared into her mind. "Life and the world and mine own self are changed..." into her mind. "Life and the world and mine own self are changed..."

And Rowley? Rowley hadn't changed.

Yes, that was it. Rowley hadn't changed. Rowley was where she had left him four years ago. left him four years ago.

Did she want to marry Rowley? If not, what did she want?

Twigs cracked in the copse behind her and a man's voice cursed as he pushed his way through. pushed his way through.

She cried out, "David!"

"Lynn!" He looked amazed as he came crashing through the undergrowth. "What in the name of fortune are you doing here?" undergrowth. "What in the name of fortune are you doing here?"

He had been running and was slightly out of breath.

"I don't know. Just thinking - sitting and thinking." She laughed uncertainly. "I suppose - it's getting very late." uncertainly. "I suppose - it's getting very late."

"Haven't you any idea of the time?"

She looked down vaguely at her wrist.w.a.tch.

"It's stopped again. I disorganise watches."

"More than watches!" David said. "It's the electricity in you. The vitality. The life." vitality. The life."

He came up to her, and vaguely disturbed, she rose quickly to her feet.

"It's getting quite dark. I must hurry home. What time is it, David?"

"Quarter past nine. I must run like a hare. I simply must catch the 9.20 train to London."

"I didn't know you had come back here!"

"I had to get some things from Furrowbank. But I must catch this train. Rosaleen's alone in the flat - and she gets the jitters if she's alone at Rosaleen's alone in the flat - and she gets the jitters if she's alone at night in London." night in London."

"In a service flat?" Lynn's voice was scornful.

David said sharply: "Fear isn't logical. When you've suffered from blast -"

Lynn was suddenly ashamed - contrite.

She said: "I'm sorry. I'd forgotten."

With sudden bitterness David cried out: "Yes, it's soon forgotten - all of it. Back to safety! Back to tameness!

Back to where we were when the whole b.l.o.o.d.y show started! Creep into our rotten little holes and play safe again. You, too, Lynn - you're into our rotten little holes and play safe again. You, too, Lynn - you're just the same as the rest of them!" just the same as the rest of them!"

She cried, "I'm not. I'm not, David. I was just thinking - now -"

"Of me?"

His quickness startled her. His arm was round her, holding him to her. He kissed her with hot angry lips. He kissed her with hot angry lips.

"Rowley Cloade?" he said, "that oaf? By G.o.d, Lynn, you belong to me."

Then as suddenly as he had taken her, he released her, almost thrusting her away from him. thrusting her away from him.

"I'll miss the train."

He ran headlong down the hillside.

"David... "

He turned his head, calling back: "I'll ring you when I get to London..."

She watched him running through the gathering gloom, light and athletic and full of natural grace. athletic and full of natural grace.

Then, shaken, her heart strangely stirred, her mind chaotic, she walked slowly homeward. walked slowly homeward.

She hesitated a little before going in. She shrank from her mother's affectionate welcome, her questions... affectionate welcome, her questions...

Her mother who had borrowed five hundred pounds from people whom she despised.

"We've no right to despise Rosaleen and David," thought Lynn as she went very softly upstairs. "We're just the same. We'd do anything - went very softly upstairs. "We're just the same. We'd do anything - anything for money." anything for money."

She stood in her bedroom, looking curiously at her face in the mirror. It was, she thought, the face of a stranger... was, she thought, the face of a stranger...

And then, sharply, anger shook her.

"If Rowley really loved me," she thought, "he'd have got that five hundred pounds for me somehow. He would - he would. He wouldn't let hundred pounds for me somehow. He would - he would. He wouldn't let me be humiliated by having to take it from David - David -" me be humiliated by having to take it from David - David -"

David had said he would ring her when he got to London.

She went downstairs, walking in a dream...

Dreams, she thought, could be very dangerous things...