Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Are you sure we're okay?" This time, I turn to look at her, but the tinted visor is over her eyes.

"Peachy," came her muffled reply.

The ride back to her car isn't anything close to what it was on the way over. Despite the fact that she's holding on to me, her body is stiff as a board. As soon as I pull into the parking lot and come to a stop, she practically jumps off and yanks at the straps of the helmet before tossing it to me.

"Thanks for the ride and dinner," she calls out.

Without a backward glance, she unlocks her car and gets in. I wait while she does whatever her routine is before she finally starts up her car and pulls onto the highway. I follow her home, but instead of pulling in after her, I take off, needing time to get my shit together.

For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to say to a woman.

Chapter 5.

Piper

When I realize that Jase isn't pulling in behind me to park his motorcycle in the detached garage, I put my car in reverse and drive straight to Rowan's house. It's after seven, so she and Seth should be home from work by now. They don't eat out a lot since they're saving for a wedding and an extra-long honeymoon. Rowan has never traveled anywhere and Seth spent the last seven years traveling to war-torn countries. They are so adorably in love that I can't help but root for them to be together forever. Or for me to find my own true love one day. Maybe Jase will- Stop thinking that way. Life is hard. It's not a fairy tale, no matter how much you wish it were.

Rowan is outside when I pull up to the curb. She's messing around in the flower beds out front, something I never thought I'd see her do-until I realize she's holding a golf club.

"Show your head again, damn vole, and I will knock it into the next county," she shouts as I get out.

"Is this a bad time?" Please don't let it be. I'm holding on by a thread. The urge to cry is weighing down on me so hard that I can barely walk to her. If I didn't know better I would say this felt worse than an asthma attack.

She whips around, her long blond hair flying as her scowl turns into a genuine, dazzling smile. At five feet eleven, Rowan has the looks of a supermodel and the mouth of a sailor-two reasons why Seth is attracted to her. At least in my opinion.

However, the reason he loves her is her heart. It's big and full of love for those she holds dear. I thank God every day that I'm included in her small circle.

"Oh, shit. That son of a bitch hurt you," she says, dropping the club and running to me. She wraps me up in a tight hug. "You haven't even been there for twenty-four hours. I'm going to kill my brother."

Immediately, I begin to sob all over her, finally giving my pent-up emotions free rein. "I told him how I felt and he just...he only thinks of me as his kid sister." My heart pinches at the admission.

"So soon?" Rowan gasps, then shakes her head. "I'm sorry-it doesn't matter when you told him. You were brave to tell him."

Sniffing and wiping my nose, I shake my head. "I was stupid for admitting my feelings. It's obvious I'm not his type."

"Yes, you are. He probably doesn't want to-"

"I don't care what he wants. For once I want it to be about what I want." I pull out of her embrace and stalk to the back door, not even bothering to wait to see if she's following me. All I know is that I need to get inside because I won't make a further spectacle of myself by crying on the front lawn.

"Piper, calm down," she says as I open the back door and go inside.

"Don't tell me what to do. If I want to throw a hissy fit over a guy, I will!"

Rowan grabs my shoulder, and I have to stop in the middle of my stomp-off. "I'm concerned about your asthma flaring up, that's it. If you think you're good to go, then I'm here to listen to you."

Almost all of my self-righteous anger leaves me, deflating my body. "I wasn't thinking about my asthma." Mother likes to pretend I don't have such a disgusting problem while my father barely notices anything about me at all. "Rowan, it was so embarrassing. Right after I told him how much I cared for him, he flirted with the hostess and got her to give him her number so he could invite her to a stupid party he's having next Friday night."

"Is that all he did?" she asks, letting go of me.

I move to the living room, kicking off my shoes so that I can curl up on the sofa. "Yes."

"He didn't ask her out?"

I give her a look. "Does he ever ask women out?"

She shrugs before sitting beside me. "Honestly, I don't think so. Mostly, from what I remember and what I've seen since he's been out, they chase him."

"I'm thrilled to be counted among that number now." I drop my head into my hands. "What was I thinking?"

"That you wanted to take life by the balls and go for it, instead of letting it happen to you," she says firmly.

I peek out at her from between my fingers. "Life sucks."

"What happened after his invitation?"

"He stopped flirting with her and we ate dinner, then he drove me home. Well, I rode on the back of his motorcycle because my car was at the shop."

Rowan gets a thoughtful look on her face. "He only invited her to a party, stopped flirting with her, and allowed you to ride his bike-a first, by the way."

"No, I've been on his bike before...before he went to prison," I say, then blush when Rowan tilts her head to one side to study me.

"He's never had any woman but you on that bike. I've never ridden that bike, and now you're telling me that it wasn't the first time for the two of you?"

"You make it sound so forbidden. It wasn't like that. I'd had a disagreement with Mother, and you weren't home-you were with Seth-so Jase offered to get my mind off of things."

"Piper, I swear to God if you've been lying to me about being a virgin all these years, I will kill you," she says fiercely. "And if my brother was the one to sweet-talk you out of your v-card, I will kill him dead."

"No, no!" I can't get the words out fast enough. "It wasn't like that at all. He was genuinely nice to me and only took me for a ride on his bike around the block a couple of times. Strictly platonic. I swear, if I'd given him or any other guy my virginity, you'd be the first to know."

Slightly mollified, Rowan settles back down against the cushions. "Good."

"Kinda hoped he'd be the one, though," I whisper miserably as tears well up again. "Everyone else sees him as this villain, but I don't, Rowan-at least not until tonight."

"Men are stupid," she says as I put my head on her shoulder and wipe away the useless tears I keep shedding over Jase. She begins to run a hand through my hair to comfort me. "Maybe you need to do that matchup thing your mom set up for you."

I frown, but deep inside I know Rowan's right. There's no escaping what's meant to be, and the only thing I'm meant to be in life is a trophy wife.

"And I completely lost my mind for suggesting that." Rowan shudders. "Listen, I don't think you're down for the count when it comes to Jase. I think you threw him for a loop. Next time, if you want to take the chance on him again, back up your words with some action."

"I'll consider it."

Rowan laces her free hand with mine. "We'll talk more about strategy later."

I let out a breath. "Why is this so important to you?"

"Because you're my best friend and I love you. I want you to be happy and I think with a little push, you and Jase would be good together. You'd be better than any other girl."

Since I know the reputation of the other girls he's dated, I'm not sure her bar is set very high. "I don't think-"

"Trust me, okay? Besides, do you really want your mother and her matchmaker to set you up with Mark Williams or someone like him?" she asks.

No, but I'm more than a little afraid that when I meet with Mother and Father that they will insist I use the service, and I won't be able to say no because I won't have a reason to say no-at least beyond my own wants and needs.

"Fine," I huff.

"Good girl," Rowan coos, and I roll my eyes, but I know she's only teasing me.

"Thanks for being home," I say.

"You're welcome."

Jase

"Shouldn't you be out with Piper?" Emmett asks when I walk into the shop.

"Shouldn't you be out fucking whatever happens to land on your dick?"

Taking my bad mood in stride, Emmett flips me off and goes back to working on a design for one of his late-night clients. "I take it dinner didn't go well."

"Not exactly."

"So did you break her heart before or after dessert?"

"Before," I mumble.

He drops the pencil he's holding and pins me with a steely gaze. "Damn it, Jase. If she quits before she gets started on our books, I'm holding you personally responsible."

"Would you rather we get involved and then I break her heart? A lawsuit is more to your liking?" I'm grasping at straws trying to defend myself.

"What makes you so sure you'll fuck things up?"

"My life is one big fuckup. I spent the past seven years in prison, Emmett. What do I have to offer someone like Piper?"

He scratches his jaw, his gaze knowing now. "Seems to me that if she wanted more than what you have to offer, then she wouldn't have asked you to dinner in the first place. She's hot as fuck and comes from money-dudes are probably sniffing around her twenty-four/seven."

Yeah, guys like Mark Williams. "Her dad's a cop, and not just any cop, but the head guy."

Emmett puckers his mouth and makes kissing noises. "Come to daddy, and give me some of that forbidden pussy."

Irritated as shit at him, at me, and at the world in general, my hands ball into fists and I have to force myself not to lay his ass out on the floor. "Watch your mouth."

"She's not your concern, but now that I know how you feel, I can ask her out." He moves to me, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. "Bet she tastes real sweet. And those tits-fucking a, bro-I could motorboat them for days-"

Instead of hitting Emmett, I shove him hard. If he falls over something, I can claim he wasn't watching where he was going and not get my ass carted off to jail for assault. "I said to watch your fucking mouth."

Emmett shakes his head. "You have it bad. Man up and apologize. Tell her how you really feel and let her make the decision. It's not right you're doing it for her-her entire life has been managed by her family."

How he manages to go from sounding like a fifteen-year-old punk to Yoda is beyond me. "You best buds with some punk ass in The Oaks or something?"

"Nah. This girl and her friend I had over the other night wouldn't shut up about Piper's rebellion. No one, and I mean no one, can believe she actually moved out of her parents' house."

"Those people have serious first-world issues," I grumble.

Emmett smirks. "We all have issues."

"I'm taking a smoke break," I say, heading outside.

We made it a rule that no one smokes in our shop, not even after hours. I actually kind of like it because I instituted the same rule at my own house and I've cut down to one cigarette a day. If I were to get serious with Piper, I would have to go cold turkey because I'd read that cigarette smoke aggravates asthmatics.

"Later, dude." Emmett shuffles back to his workstation.

Fuck, I have so much to think about, so much to consider. It's not that I'm against being with Piper-hell, I've had a hard-on for her for years when it comes to her looks and her personality-it's...yeah, I know my soul is stained black with my past deeds, but beyond that...does Piper want me because I'm so bad, especially compared to her, or because I'm the exact opposite of what her parents want for her future?

Only, while I was in prison, it did that girl absolutely no good to send me care packages and funny little notes. No good at all. I doubt her parents even knew what she was doing, since Western Prison is operated on a state level and not county. No way she was giving her parents the finger by performing those acts of kindness.

Maybe, just maybe, Piper wants me for me-not my reputation-nothing but me.

- It's after one a.m. when I finally pull into the driveway. Piper's BMW is nowhere to be found, and not for the first time I start to worry about her. I should have waited until I actually watched her walk inside before I left.

Heart racing, I pull out my phone and give Rowan a call.

"'Lo?" she says, all sleepy sounding.

"Is Piper there?"

"Yeah, she's sleeping with me."