I felt even better when Atmananda, who liked the new car, reminded the Centre of how advanced a soul I really was.

When the disciples began to treat me with a mellow kind of reverence-- a phenomenon local, perhaps, to southern California--I was thrilled.

I had an intuitive grasp on how to wield the ad hoc power, but I did not grasp that it was the power which was actually wielding me.

Meanwhile, Atmananda had added "money collector" to the growing list of my responsibilities. This task, he cautioned, was not without its dangers. "Money is physically dirty," he said, as though telling me a secret. "It also retains and transmits the greed of its handlers. Always wash your hands after you touch it."

But he did not always ask me to collect it directly.

In 1981, he asked me to inspire Richard, a tall, large-hearted disciple who owned a raquet-stringing shop in La Jolla. Richard, who appeared to love Guru even more than he loved tennis, was on the verge of purchasing a million-dollar house, which he planned to rent to the Centre at a bargain rate.

"How's your game coming along?" I asked him.

"Oh, not too bad I suppose."

"Are you ready to play against Guru?"

"Guru is not going to want to play tennis with me."

"Sure he is. Only if I were you, I'd let him win every so often."

We laughed.

"How's the deal going?" I asked.

His gaiety suddenly vanished. "It almost went through," he said.

"But someone pulled out at the last minute...again."

"Oh well," I tried. "Maybe there's someone else who could help."

No response.

"Wouldn't it be great," I continued, "to have the Centre across the street from UCSD? Parking sure wouldn't be a problem anymore.

And picture a meditation room overlooking the ocean--a meditation room large enough to hold everyone."

He nodded.

"Imagine Guru coming to San Diego and visiting us at the new Centre!"

"That would be nice," he admitted.

"Remember Richard," I added, working in a quote from Atmananda, "whatever you really want you will get."

"You're right," he said resolutely. "I'll just keep trying."

After several more setbacks the deal went through, and Atmananda, Dana, Anne, Tammy, and I moved in. Atmananda occasionally paced the carpets of the new Centre, improvising a song from Fiddler On The Roof in which pious dairyman Tevya aspires for a little wealth from G.o.d.

"If I were a realized soul!" Atmananda began. "Ahhh yaahtuh daahtuh daahtuh yaahtuh daahtuh daahtuh daahtuh duhm.

All day long I'd bittih bittih buhm. If I were a realized soul!

Ahhh wouldn't have to work hard..."

Once at the new Centre, Atmananda recited for me the money mantra.

"Ya devi sarva bhutesu ratna rupena sangsthita nastasvai namastvai namastvai namo nama," he chanted soulfully.

If I could have followed his words down the corridors of time, I would have seen him--

Ya devi...

Dramatically increasing the cost of public meditation lectures and seminars.

...sarva bhutesu...

Charging one thousand dollars a person for weekend desert trips (1987).

...ratna rupena...

Increasing his advertising budget from hundreds (1977) to hundreds of thousands (1987).

...sangsthita...

Requesting that manditory tuition--which took the place of the voluntary Money Club--be paid in hundred dollar denominations to avoid "low vibe"

tens and twenties. Suggesting that followers hold off on tax payments until "later." Raising monthly tuition from one hundred dollars (1982) to approximately thirty-five hundred dollars (1993).

...nastasvai...

Driving a Renault LeCar (1979), a BMW (1981), a 911 Porsche (1982), a 928 Porsche (1983), a turbo Carerra Porsche (1984), a Bentley (1991). Keeping seven cars at his New York property: three Mercedes Benzes, two Porsches and two Range Rovers (1991).

...namastvai namastvai...

Renting the Del Mar castle, complete with turrets, a walk-in fireplace, and a full-court basketball-game-sized living room (1982). Renting in Malibu what he claimed was Goldie Hawn's house (1983). Spending roughly nine hundred dollars per night for a hotel suite where his dog enjoyed a room of its own (1988). Buying a house on Conscience Bay in Old Field, New York, for about nine-hundred-fifty thousand dollars (1988). Buying a house in Tesuque, a suburb near Sante Fe, New Mexico, for about eight-hundred-seventy-five thousand dollars (1990). Spending approximately one million dollars on each house for electronic security systems and renovations (1991). Renting Sting's house in Malibu Colony for about twenty-five thousand dollars a month (1992).

...namo nama.

I spent many happy hours with Atmananda, in the plushly carpeted meditation room, watching the Pacific Ocean as I listened to him sing and talk about his dreams. Deeply believing that millions would be made happy, I refused to acknowledge that millions would soon be made.

And though I never chanted the money mantra, I helped my housemate who did.

8. Fast Leader

In the fall of 1980, Atmananda spoke with the Stony Brook disciples, who were still in New York, "on an inner level." He also spoke with them on the phone. He told them that Chinmoy was directing a "special force" toward our new, million-dollar Centre in La Jolla.

He told them about our now legendary recruitment drive. He told them about our feasts.

These disciples missed Atmananda. They missed his advice, friendship, and love. They missed his extended family. They missed him coaxing, "Eat, eat."

When Sal moved west, he joined the disciples who ate each week at a Mexican restaurant with Atmananda. One time Atmananda declared, "I wonder where The Gwid has been hiding these days."

Sal said, "You would not believe how many people have asked me that very question."