Switching Gears.

Chantele Sedgwick.

To my mom, Cheri Wardleigh.

For teaching me to never give up and for never giving up on me.

Biking is about rhythm and flow. Its the wind in your face and the challenge of hammering up a long hill. Its the reward at the top and the thrill of a high-speed descent. Biking lets you come alive in both body and spirit. After a while the bike disappears beneath you and you feel as if youre suspended in midair.

"Gary Klein.

CHAPTER 1.

Even after swallowing a bug about a mile back, I cant wipe the grin off my face. The breeze hums through the trees and rushes across my skin as I take the next turn.

The first mountain bike race of the season should feel different. After all those wintery months out of shape, I should feel more nervous. Anxious. Maybe a little scared. But as I shift gears to go up the last uphill before the end of the race, Im elated. Higher than the moon, even. I was born to do this.

A mixture of pine and dirt reaches my nose and I take a deep breath, letting the fresh air in. I love the smell of nature. The trail is narrow here, with pine and fir trees surrounding me on both sides, but I dont feel claustrophobic at all. Its perfect"peaceful"and I wouldnt want to be anywhere else right now.

The climb is steep and my hands tighten on the grips of my handlebars. Im sweating. I probably have disgusting sweat spots everywhere, but right now, I couldnt care less. The only thing between me and the finish line is this monster of a hill.

Uphill is pretty much my downfall, but I have a good feeling today. Ive got a great lead. I can do this if I keep moving and dont lose my focus.

Almost there. Almost there. The thought keeps running through my head as I climb.

Youve got this. You can do this. Keep pedaling and ignore the pain. Keep moving.

My sungla.s.ses dig into my nose and I lift a hand to adjust them, wiping at the sweat pooling on my forehead. I wince at the burning in my legs, but theyre nothing compared to my b.u.t.t right now. It burns so much it feels like its going to fall off. Which is a nice thought, actually, but the pain reminds me of how much Ive slacked this season.

Its entirely my fault, of course. Mourning will do that to a person.

Its been a month since Lucas died. My neighbor, my best friend, and the boy Ive loved since grade school. Hes part of so many memories, and nothing I do can erase them. Which sucks. Sometimes I wish hed get out of my head. That Id forget him. But he just wont go away.

Instead of focusing on something else in my life, all Ive been doing is, well nothing. Moping, eating"pick something bad for you and thats me. But now, in the middle of this race, I feel a piece of me st.i.tching itself back together. Ive missed this.

All of it.

The dirt, the bugs, the pain. Everything.

I focus on the trail in front of me"keeping my breathing steady, feeling the familiar rhythm of my heart beat against my chest"and try and fail to keep thoughts of Lucas out of my head.

Nothing I do will change the fact that hes gone. I know that. But I cant help the way I feel without him here. Especially after he told me he loved me. I long for what might have happened if the cancer would have left him alone. Hed be waiting for me at the finish line right now. A huge smile on his face, and his blue eyes matching the sky.

I shake my head, cursing myself for the direction my thoughts have gone. Again.

Get your head in the game, Emmy.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead again and push on as the trail widens on either side of me. Ive only gone a few more yards when I sense someone behind me. I frown and glance to my left as she pa.s.ses me like its nothing.

Whitney.

Her blonde ponytail flaps behind her as she pa.s.ses me, not even looking winded, and to make things worse, she gives me a smug smile and winks. Winks.

My eyes narrow on her retreating back as the adrenaline kicks in and I push myself harder. I try to match her pace, but she keeps pulling further and further away. As much as I pedal, my lungs feeling like theyre on fire, and I know its not going to be enough. Shes awesome and she knows it.

I fight to stay in control, my body protesting every single turn of my pedals, but my energy is fading. I had a great lead and I lost it.

Like always.

Whitney reaches the top and disappears for a split second. Once I reach it, I switch gears and pedal hard. The ground is flat up here and I ride on the smooth dirt until the downhill starts.

Rocks. Everywhere. I settle into a good pace, noting how far ahead Whitney is now, and start down.

Im pretty good at downhill, but these rocks freak me out, so Im careful not to hit one wrong. I really dont want to experience flying over my handlebars. Especially during a race.

The rocks get bigger the further I go and I maneuver the best I can, keeping up my speed, but cautious all the same. I cant remember the last time I had such a rocky downhill. This is definitely not my favorite trail.

I stand on my pedals and put my weight at the back of the bike, my b.u.t.t a few inches off the seat. If you ever sit on a bike going down a hill covered with big rocks, I guarantee your b.u.t.t will be black and blue. Even with the shock taking most of the impact, it still hurts.

A crowd cheers as Whitney pa.s.ses the finish line and I try to stay upbeat. Second isnt that bad, but a frown creeps in anyway. She beat me.

Again.

I slide past the finish line a moment later and, despite the cheering from the people around me, Im disappointed. I was sure Id beat her this time. Sure of it. I pull on my brakes and roll to a stop, letting the dust settle around me. Whitney shoots me a smug smile as I unclip my shoes from my pedals and step off my bike, but I turn and ignore her.

My best friend, Kelsie, comes out of nowhere and tackles me in a huge hug. Emmy, you did great! Her momentum makes us both almost fall to the ground, but I catch myself on the guy standing next to us. I grab onto his arm, almost pulling him with us, but he flexes and I stand upright, still holding his arm. I glance up and give him a shaky smile.

I have no idea who he is and hes not very happy to see me. Uh sorry?

He doesnt say anything, but shakes his head and walks away, leaving me staring after him with my mouth open. How embarra.s.sing.

That was awkward, Kelsie says.

I turn my attention back to her. Yes. Yes, it was.

At least he broke our fall. She giggles. And you got second? Are you kidding me? Thats awesome!

Thanks. I hug her back before pulling away from her grasp.

Seriously. That downhill? Insane. And you, my friend, are insane for doing it.

I shrug. It wasnt too bad. A little rocky. I smile at her expression.

A little?

Okay, a lot. Kind of freaked me out for a minute. I kept picturing myself hitting one of the rocks and flying over the handlebars. That would have been lovely for everyone to see.

Im sure you would have been very graceful.

I laugh. Thanks. I wish you could have raced with me today.

She shakes her head. I know. My knees still bugging me. Maybe next time.

Next time for sure. I take a swig of water from my CamelBak. Ugh. Warm.

Warm waters the worst.

I know. I take another swig anyway.

After I take my helmet off, I grab an elastic and pull my dark hair into a ponytail. My head is all sweaty and gross, which reminds me of the sweat stains again. I need to get in front of the air conditioner and fast. And then a shower would be nice. I feel bad for anyone standing too close to me.

Hey, lets go get your time before we take off.

Okay.

We walk over to the judges booth and a man sitting next to a huge fan stares up at me. Number?

I look down at my jersey and the piece of paper pinned to it. Twelve.

He nods, looks down at a piece of paper sitting on the table in front of him, and hands me an envelope with my number on it.

Congratulations. You were second out of forty riders today in the sixteen to eighteen age group, he says.

Right. Second. And Whitney was first. Story of my life. Thanks. I smile and take the envelope without looking inside. I already know what it is. My time and brochures for the next race. Second place doesnt get anything else.

Theyll announce the winners later on if youd like to stay.

Thanks. I turn to Kelsie. Lets get out of here. I dont really want to stand in the heat forever just to hear my name announced. And I cant handle Whitneys gloating. To beat Whitney, I need to train more. If only I had a coach.

We walk to the parking lot and I put my bike on my rack. Once I lock it up, I hear music blasting through the parking lot. I dont even have to turn around to know who it is, but I find myself looking anyway.

Dirt flies up in clouds around his truck as he drives toward us, his music getting louder by the second. Whats he doing here? I mutter under my breath.

Seriously? Why wouldnt Cole be here, Em? The guys race at ten. She stands up straight and brushes her fingers through her light hair, giving herself a quick check in my side mirror. She looks at me and frowns. You need to fix that hair. Stat.

Are you kidding me right now?

What? She takes a tube of lip gloss out of her pocket and slides it on her lips. Coles hot. Even you think he is. Dont even try to deny it either. I can see your lies coming a mile away.

What does that even mean?

She shrugs and reaches out to attempt to fix my hair. Just admit hes hot. And put this on. Your lips are super chapped and need a little color. She holds out the lip gloss, but I dont take it.

I frown, knowing I wont win this one. Because shes right. He is. Hes also my least favorite person on the planet. I swipe her hand away from my hair and ignore the lip gloss in her hand. I dont have to attempt to look cute for anyone.

She sighs and puts the gloss back in her pocket. No hes not. Whitney is. Youre still mad the school mountain biking team picked him as team captain and not you.

Thats not the reason. I frown and avoid her eyes. Its totally the reason. We both know it. Obviously I havent gotten over it.

Pretty sure it is or you wouldnt be so defensive. And youd still be on the team.

Everything was fine until he had to take over. Hes c.o.c.ky, Kelsie. He knows hes good. He could lay off throwing it in everyones faces.

She grins. He kind of has a reason to be c.o.c.ky. And honestly, hes not that bad. He was in one of my cla.s.ses this year. Hes nice.

Nice? Hes I try to search for the right word, but come up short. Anything but nice.

Because you know him so well, right?

I dont say anything and dont turn to look at her glare.

You know, if youd get back on the team, maybe he could get some sponsors to watch you race. He had sponsors looking at him when he was in California. Ill bet theyre still looking. He could totally hook you up.

Doubtful. And Whitney would never let me back on the team now. She hates me.

She doesnt have a say. Youre the one who put the team together last summer, so everyone elses opinions would count more than hers.

Still. I cant stand her.

She glances over at Whitney, whos busy flirting it up with a bunch of guys. She is kind of a s.k.a.n.k, right?

I laugh.

But in all seriousness. You should at least think about racing with the team again. You loved it.

They dont need me when they have Cole. And Im fine training by myself.

I dont miss her eye roll. Sure Besides, I cant afford all the gear he wanted us to get. I cant even afford a pair of the gloves! He doesnt realize everyone doesnt have money like him. And the trainers he has? Im not that good. I dont have anything else to offer that he hasnt already offered.

Calm down. I know all the bells and whistles he has. I was on the team, too, remember?

You can actually afford things, though.

She shakes her head. Not me. My parents. And you know they dont just buy me whatever I want. I have to work for it.

I know. Sorry. I just I wish things were like they were before he moved here. Like when life was a little less complicated. When I had more friends than Kelsie. When Lucas was still here.

Lucas. His name makes my stomach twist and my chest tighten. I wish hed stop popping into my head all the time. It always kills my mood. I shake my head and focus on something else. Something that doesnt involve anything related to him. Like races and biking. Happy things.

Well, they arent. But we could make things work if youd quit being so stubborn. Coach Clarke is trying to find some local businesses to sponsor the team, so the money thing isnt a good excuse. You need to let your grudge against Cole go.