"No, I wouldn't want to lose her," Steven repeated softly, that faraway look in his eyes again.

It was all Elizabeth could do to keep from leaping across the table and strangling her sister. Why didn't Jessica just shut up about Cara? Poor Steven didn't stand a chance. Elizabeth had to talk to him before it was too late. If only she could get a moment alone with him after dinner.

But the chance never came. Steven excused himself almost as soon as he finished eating. "I promised Cara I'd pick her up by seven-thirty," he said, snatching up his jacket as he headed for the door.

"Have fun, Steve!" Jessica chirped.

Elizabeth said nothing. She was fighting to keep from dissolving into tears. Was Steven going to lose himself in Cara's relentless campaign to win him over?

The noise of the party thundered in Steven's ears. Everywhere he looked people were laughing, having a good time. He felt as if he were set apart from it all, an invisible spectator. He tried hard to concentrate on what Cara was saying.

"... and remember I told everyone at my party about my mom running into Mrs. Morrow? The Morrows are the one's who're moving into the Godfrey mansion. Anyway, their daughter, Regina, is having this big party next Saturday, to get to know some of the kids at school. She sent out invitations to our whole class, and she said we could bring dates. Of course, I immediately thought of you, Steve. If you're not busy..."

His mind drifted off again. That was the weekend he'd planned on taking Tricia to Secca Lake. The last time they'd been there, they had packed a picnic lunch and hiked up the stream that fed into the lake. There was a place they discovered, a rock pool shaded by ferns and sweet-smelling pine trees, where they could swim in private. They spent the day dipping into the ice-cold water and basking in the warm sunlight. They talked quietly, planning their future together. Then they had kissed, and the kissing seemed to go on forever, sweet and delicate like Tricia herself. He remembered the feel of her bare arms against his back, the way her hair smelled of pine needles....

"Steve, are you listening? Did you hear what I just said?" Cara's strident voice broke into his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, sure, Cara, I was listening," he lied.

"Do you want to go to Regina Morrow's party or not?"

"I-I don't know, Cara. I'll have to check my schedule. I have an awful lot of studying to do. Can I let you know in a couple of days?"

Cara pursed her glossy lips in disappointment. It was obvious she'd expected a more enthusiastic response. "Sure, I guess so."

Ted Foster, a boy Steven knew slightly, jostled his way toward them holding paper cups of punch, which he handed to Steve and Cara. "Hey, Steve! Long time no see. How's it going?" He gave Cara a long once-over, smiling in appreciation. "Say, is this the girl you were bragging to me about? Wow, I can see why! No wonder you keep her so well hidden."

Cara giggled and stuck out her hand, her cheeks flushed with pleasure at the unexpected compliment. "Hi," she said.

"Nice to meet you," Ted replied, shaking her hand. "Tricia, right? I never forget a name."

Cara flushed. "It's Cara."

Now it was Ted's turn to be embarrassed. "Uh, sure ... Cara. Right. I got mixed up. Well, nice to meet you, Cara," he amended before slipping off into the crowd.

"Want to dance?" Steven asked in an attempt to smooth over the awkwardness of the moment.

Cara brightened. Putting down her punch, she snaked her arms around his neck. Swaying her hips gently as she moved to the rhythm of the music, she pressed in close against Steven. He could smell her perfume. Not like Tricia, he thought. She didn't have to wear perfume. The scent of her skin and hair was naturally delicate and sweet.

Steven screwed his eyes shut, willing himself to stop thinking about her. Forget her! She's forgotten you by now. She has someone else.

But he couldn't stop thinking about Tricia no matter how hard he tried. She kept drifting into his thoughts. He couldn't even force himself to be angry at her anymore. All he could remember was her sweetness, her lovely face, her sparkling laughter. Once, on his way to class, he'd seen a girl who looked a little like Tricia from behind, and he'd followed her halfway across the campus before he realized what he was doing.

"You seem a million miles away." Cara twisted her head to look up at him, her hair tickling him under the chin. She gave him a coy smile. "What's the matter? Don't you like being with me?"

"Sure I do," he said, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.

"I'm glad to hear it. I mean, sometimes you seem so far away, like you're not even with me."

"I guess I have a lot on my mind," he said.

Her pretty face puckered in a pout. "You're not thinking about Tricia, I hope!"

"No," he lied. "But since you brought it up, how is she?"

"You didn't hear? No one's seen her in about a week. My guess is that she dropped out."

Steven felt that familiar tightening in his chest again. "I can't believe that. She'd never drop out of school." Education meant so much to Tricia. She was determined to go to college, and since winning a scholarship looked like the only way she'd ever get there, she studied harder than anyone he knew. Once again he had the feeling that something was terribly wrong, something Tricia hadn't told him.

"The trouble with you is you're too nice, Steve," Cara scolded. "You never want to think the worst about anyone. Jessica says so all the time. But if you're going to be with me from now on, I don't want you thinking about her. After all, if we're going to be a couple-"

Steven stopped dancing. "Wait a minute," he said. "What's this about us being a couple?"

"Well, I figured since you and Tricia weren't going together anymore...." Cara let her sentence trail off suggestively.

Steven broke away from Cara with an angry look. "Did you think I could replace Tricia just like that?" he demanded. "As if she were a car or something? I loved Tricia!" He was aware of his voice growing louder, rising above the din of the music, but he didn't care what anyone thought. "If you want the truth, I still love her!"

Cara's eyes narrowed. "Forget it then," she hissed. "Let's just forget the whole thing. I was just kidding anyway. You didn't think I was serious, did you? I wouldn't be your girlfriend if you begged me!"

"Don't worry, Cara-I won't. Now why don't you get your things and I'll drive you home."

A grim smile touched Steven's lips as he strode out of the party, Cara trailing angrily at his heels. In a funny way he felt better than he had in weeks. He wasn't going to deny the way he felt about Tricia any longer. Maybe he wouldn't get her back, but that wasn't going to stop him from loving her.

Thirteen.

Mrs. Jeremy Frank, Jessica doodled in her notebook. She smiled to herself. The more she turned it over in her mind, the better it sounded. The panic she'd felt in the beginning had worn off. She was starting to see the possible advantages to the situation she was in.

Of course there was no way she could actually marry Jeremy-not for a long time anyway. But an engagement? Why not? The idea had definite appeal. Imagine how impressed her friends would be when she showed off her diamond ring. Later on, if she changed her mind, she could always break it off. Meanwhile, she would reap all the benefits of being engaged to a celebrity. She might even become a celebrity herself. If they were engaged, Jeremy would have to put her on the show. Why hadn't she considered that before running out of his room today like some kind of idiot?

Well, it wasn't too late, she told herself. She would just go back and tell Jeremy she'd changed her mind. Humming something that sounded vaguely like "The Wedding March," Jessica wandered into her sister's room and plopped down on the bed.

"I've decided to accept," she said.

Elizabeth looked up from the article she was working on. "Accept what?"

"Jeremy's proposal. What else?"

Elizabeth's pen clattered to the floor. "Jess, what are you talking about? You can't marry Jeremy!"

"I didn't say I was going to marry him. I only said I was going to accept his proposal."

"But that's crazy! Jess, I won't let you do it." Elizabeth was panicking.

"I don't see how you can stop me," Jessica replied. Then she smiled dreamily. "Oh, Liz, think how much fun it'll be! Me, engaged to a big celebrity. Everybody will be positively green!"

"It's impossible," Elizabeth insisted. "Mom and Dad would never allow it."

"They wouldn't have to know. It could be a secret. I'll wear the ring around my neck so I can hide it inside my shirt whenever they're around."

"Jessica Wakefield, this is really the all-time dumbest idea you've ever had-and you've come up with some pretty dumb ones!"

Jessica's eyes narrowed to emerald slits. "You're just jealous because he didn't ask you to marry him." She leaped up off the bed. "I'm going over to the hospital now to tell Jeremy the good news."

Elizabeth was after her like a shot, grabbing her sister by the shoulders. "Wait! You don't know what you're doing! Jeremy's uh,... not what you think. He-" She gulped. "Well, I'll bet there's a lot you don't know about him."

"Who cares?" Jessica replied airily. "He's a celebrity. That's all that matters. Besides, we won't be strangers for long." Ignoring the protests Elizabeth continued to shout after her, Jessica dashed downstairs to see if she could talk her father into letting her borrow the car.

Mr. Wakefield was driving over to the office to pick up some papers he'd left there, so he said he'd drop her off, promising to pick her up on the way back. She gave him the excuse that she'd left one of her schoolbooks in the nurses' lounge.

"Thanks, Dad." She planted a kiss on his cheek as he dropped her off in front of the hospital.

"Anything for the cause," he answered with a wink.

If only he knew what a good cause it is, Jessica thought.

"Jessica?" The newspaper Jeremy had been reading fluttered to the floor. "What are you doing here this late? I wasn't expecting to see you again."

She flung herself across his bed. "Jeremy, can you ever forgive me for acting so silly this afternoon? I don't know what came over me. It was just the shock, I guess. But I thought it over-and I've decided to marry you after all."

For a full minute Jeremy simply stared at her without speaking. Then he burst into laughter. He laughed so hard his shoulders shook and tears streamed down his cheeks.

"What's so funny?" Jessica demanded.

When he could get the words out, Jeremy confessed the whole story, omitting only Elizabeth's part in it. "I'm sorry, Jessica. I suppose it was mean of me. It's just that you were so-enthusiastic," he said kindly. "I was only trying to cool you off a bit. I never thought it would backfire like this."

Jessica could feel her cheeks flaming with indignation. "You mean this whole thing was a joke? You never wanted to marry me-not even a little bit?"

"If I'd met you ten years from now, there'd be no doubt in my mind," he offered gallantly. "But sixteen is a bit young for marriage. You said so yourself."

"Well..." Jessica could feel herself relenting. In a strange way she was even a little relieved. Despite the assurances she'd given Elizabeth, she'd had her doubts about going through with it. Besides, she was already thinking of a way she could turn the situation to her advantage. "I guess you're right. I should at least finish high school before I start thinking about getting married. But that doesn't change the fact that you played a pretty dirty trick on me."

"I'd like to make it up to you," Jeremy said apologetically.

She sniffled, dabbing at her dry eyes with a corner of the sheet. "Maybe there is a way."

"Anything," he said.

"Anything?" Jessica grinned, her misery forgotten.

Elizabeth heard the slow, heavy tread of Steven's footsteps on the stairs. Then there was the sound of his bedroom door closing. What was he doing home so early? She walked down the hallway and knocked softly at his door.

"Come in," Steven's muffled voice replied.

She found him sprawled on the bed in his darkened bedroom, his face cradled in his arms.

"Steve." Elizabeth touched his shoulder. "What happened with Cara? Why did you come home so early?"

He gave a dry, bitter laugh. "I told Cara she was wasting her time. There's no use denying it anymore. I can't stop thinking about Tricia. I can't stop wondering who she's with. God, I love her so much!"

"She loves you, too," said Elizabeth gently.

Steven sat up. "That's a laugh. She couldn't care less about me."

Elizabeth shook her head sadly. "You're wrong, Steve. You don't know how wrong. I've talked to Tricia. She explained everything to me. She-she only broke up with you to protect you." There was a lump the size of a golf ball in her throat. When she tried to swallow, it only seemed to get bigger.

"Protect me? From what?" Steven gripped Elizabeth's arm. "What's going on, Liz? What did Tricia tell you?"

With a choked cry, Elizabeth threw herself into her brother's arms. "She made me promise not to tell you, but I can't keep it a secret anymore!" Brokenly, she got the story out while Steven listened, his face growing whiter by the moment.

"I guess there's no easy way of telling you this. Tricia's-she's dying. Of leukemia. I only found out by accident. She was in the hospital for treatment. I'm so sorry, Steve. I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you!"

With a choked sob, he buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God. Tricia. This isn't happening. She can't be dying!" Tears streamed down Steven's cheeks.

"I wish it weren't true," Elizabeth said.

When Steven finally raised his head, his expression had changed to one of grim determination. He stood up and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. "I've got to see her. Where is she?"

Elizabeth told him that Tricia had been sent home from the hospital after her most recent treatment. "Tell her I'm sorry, will you? Tell her I had to do it. I just couldn't stand watching either of you suffer any longer."

Steven stopped to give her a fierce hug. He was trembling, his chest still shaking with pent-up sobs. Elizabeth hugged him back, fighting her own tears. She had never felt so sad in her whole life.

"You should have called first." Tricia held the front door open just a crack and glared at Steven. Even though her heart soared with happiness at the sight of him, she couldn't let him know. There was too much at stake. So she lied. "I have a late date tonight. He's picking me up any minute. You'd better go."

She tried to close the door, but Steven pushed his way inside. With a glance, he took in the dingy, threadbare living room. Empty bottles and overflowing ashtrays littered the tables. The stale smell of liquor and cigarettes hung in the air. Tricia had always kept the house so tidy in the past. Now that she was sick, she probably didn't have the strength. Steven's heart wrenched with pain.

"You don't have a date, Trish," he said softly.

"You think I'm making it up? Anyway, what right do you have barging in like this?"

Her cheeks were flushed with emotion, but the rest of her face was deathly pale. She was wearing a fluffy sweater in a soft shade of blue that matched her eyes. Even though she was dying, she looked beautiful.

Steven shook his head sadly, tears welling up in his eyes. "Trish, baby, I know."

Tricia began to tremble at his words. What little remaining strength she'd been clinging to suddenly left her. Her legs wouldn't support her anymore. Uttering a strangled cry, she collapsed against Steven.