And Nora's eyes clouded with tears. She sniffed.

Jed looked at her. "Are you crying?" he asked.

She shook her head, but she pursed her lips together tightly, not trusting herself to speak.

"What's the matter, honey?" he asked.

That brought the tears, calling her honey. "I don't know," she said. "Grateful, maybe. Embarrassed that I didn't amount to more. That I couldn't give my kids more. I don't know what you must think of me."

He was still on the floor, but he sat up a bit taller. "I couldn't be more proud of you," he said. "When I think about..." He just shook his head.

She wiped away tears with her fingers and pulled Berry onto her lap. "When you think about what?" she asked.

He had trouble meeting her eyes. He took a deep breath. "If I had approached you at fifteen or sixteen, told you where I was and that I'd do whatever I could to help if you needed me, if I'd done that, things would have been so different. But I didn't."

"Why?" she said in a breath.

He shook his head again. "I thought it was for you. But maybe it was for me. Maybe it was easier to avoid the possibility of any conflict-I'm guilty of that. I learned that about myself, that I'm too passive. If I had known she would do what she-that she would throw you out... My God. Please, you must not blame yourself."

Nora looked at his sad eyes and thought, I'm not sure. He could be lying to me and I wouldn't know the difference. "We have a long way to go, you and I."

"A long way, yes, you're right about that. And part of that has to involve coming to terms with how your mother was. Nora, we can spend a lot of time talking about how much pain she caused us. We could work that like a hangnail for a lot of years, you and I. But at some point we have to let some things go. For my part, I broke her heart. I hurt her. She obviously felt abandoned, robbed, cheated. Abused. I spent years feeling the hurt she caused me by keeping you from me, but certainly she must have felt deep hurt, as well." He shook his head. "Who knows what that can do to a person?"

"Well, I'll tell you what it does," Nora said. "It makes them angry and unforgiving and unreachable."

"She made mistakes, Nora. So did I. We don't have to keep reliving them. We can make a decision not to repeat them. To do better." He gave her a smile. "You're obviously doing exactly that. Your children love and trust you. And after hardly any time at all I can tell, you'll always be there for them."

Jed's trunk was full of stuff for his granddaughters-mostly clothes for the girls, which they needed. There was a jumper with a butterfly applique on it, the gauzy wings standing out and a few sequins sewn on that melted Berry's heart and when she touched it she said, "Ohhhhh." So Nora put it on her. While Berry was a long way from letting her brand-new grandfather cuddle her, she did gently finger that butterfly and look up at him with a slight smile.

He admitted that Susan helped with the shopping-there were even dishes and placemats for the girls. His gifts had not been extravagant. They were all necessities and he'd left the price tags on in case they should be exchanged. They were inexpensive, but so nice. And there was also a big bag of diapers, a case of formula, a box of wipes, a batch of bottles and sippy cups.

Then he took them all to Jack's Bar for Sunday night dinner and it was the first restaurant experience Berry and Fay had. But there could be no more perfect place because not only was the grill stocked up on high chairs, booster seats and mini-meals for children, but there were a number of families there, including Jack's. Jack shook Jed's hand excitedly. "Welcome," he boomed. "I didn't know Nora had family nearby-that's great. Nora is one of our favorites around here, just so you know. She's helped out at the clinic, at the new school-a real trouper. And this town is made of troupers."

A short time later Mel Sheridan came in with her kids and beamed when she saw Nora with her dad. Before even sitting down, she introduced herself and her children. "How fantastic you could visit! Nora's become a good friend of mine. She reaches out to everyone, helping whenever she can-a godsend."

Nora had the strangest feeling of being normal, even admired. She hadn't felt like that very often in her life.

"And you thought I wouldn't be proud of you?" Jed whispered.

What she learned after six hours with Jed was that he was neither the perfect fantasy father she had hoped nor the beast her mother had tried to prepare her for. Reverend Kincaid would no doubt be hearing a lot about this later. Jed Crane was an intellectual, a success in his field, but he was clearly not a social dynamo. Those parenting and relationship skills he now had were probably developed during the time he spent with his girlfriend, Susan. When Nora was a baby and preschooler he was a gentle and attentive parent without an angry bone in his body, but he didn't have the skills to deal with someone like Therese. In fact, Therese might have seen in him a man she could manage. If so, that would explain her many years of anger that he would leave her.

He couldn't protect Nora then. It was doubtful he could protect her now.

But he had good qualities. He was sincere, for one thing. And unless he was a truly gifted psychopath, he wasn't very deep emotionally. Nor was he malicious. And the way he acted toward Nora and the little girls was sweet and precious.

He described his days; he could read for hours. He went to Germany or England or Poland for three months out of every year-he was a World War II scholar and had published two volumes and numerous papers on the war and the reconstruction after the war. He loved his field of study as much now as he had when he began his dissertation and had no desire to ever retire, however, his schedule was not strenuous, thanks to teaching assistants.

When they were saying goodbye after a successful first family visit he said, "I'd be willing to help you with the girls if you need a babysitter on weekends when you work."

"With all due respect, I'll need to know you better before that happens," she returned.

"Completely understandable. I'd like to come back for another afternoon, as soon as you'll allow it. I'd also like to bring Susan sometime."

"Because she gives you credibility?" Nora asked.

"Well, no. She does, though. I'd like to introduce you. I'm not that great at presentation-something you no doubt have noticed. But Susan? She's a natural. She's so good around people that it makes you wonder what she sees in me. When you say it's okay, I'll bring her along-she wants to meet you."

"You can bring her whenever you like," Nora said. "But we're sticking to just afternoons. Weekend afternoons."

"I can't wait to tell her," he said. And then when he smiled, it was as if he'd transformed. All his shyness seemed gone, replaced with confidence and happiness. "Thank you for this," he said. "It was one of the best days of my life."

Chapter Seven

When Nora jumped in Tom's truck early Monday morning, she was feeling pretty good about herself. And she realized before they were even out of town-she was humming.

"I get the impression the family reunion went well," he said.

"You could say so. This Jed Crane-he seems to be a nice guy. He brought the girls lots of things-clothes, toys, supplies. Since I've been needing that stuff, it felt good. It didn't get him any special privileges or anything, but I was grateful. This was the first time I've spent a whole afternoon with my father since I was a little girl. I can't tell if he's who I remember or a brand-new person."

"Maybe he's both," Tom said.

"There are things about him I never knew because my mother was too mad at him to tell me anything good. He's a Ph.D, for one thing. History." She laughed a little. "When he starts talking about history, it's almost as if he's transported to another time and place-he's fascinating. I can see how he can inspire his students to learn. And it would never have occurred to me to look in the academic or history book section of the bookstore or library, but he's very accomplished. He loves World War II-it sounds like he's an expert. Who knew?"

"Why didn't your mom tell you?"

"I don't think she wanted me to like anything about him, since he walked out on her and all. She needed it to be all his fault. And he didn't exactly defend her, but he did suggest that maybe she just wasn't capable of much more. That in leaving, he hurt her too much." She shook her head. "It's going to be a while before I get there-I'm still pretty angry with my mother. In fact, now that I know my father paid support and wanted to see me, I might be angrier. It wasn't easy growing up hearing that half of my biology was no damn good, as my mother used to say."

"She said that? Really?" Tom asked.

"Of course she did," Nora said. "But I told you that already. That's why I'm going to think of some positive things to tell the girls about their father when they start to ask."

He gave a huff of laughter. "That should be interesting. The guy's an addict in prison for dealing."

"I know," she said. "He's a tragedy, when you think about it. Here was this guy with a dream-a gifted ballplayer who had it all for a little while-a scholarship, a league contract and looks, and then something happened to him. Did he get the idea that things could be a little easier and faster and maybe more fun if he had some pharmaceutical help? Did someone give him something and wham, he was hooked? I'll never know. I guess he wouldn't be the first pro athlete to go down that road. It's an American tragedy, that's what it is."

"Nora," he said, almost shocked, "he wasn't good to you!"

"I know," she said softly. "But I don't want my kids to carry that load. That's my load. I remember when I first met him-damn, he sparkled all over. Getting involved with him when it wasn't a good idea, that was probably as much my fault as his." She turned and looked at Tom. "I had some friends, but when it got down to family, to people who would always play on my team no matter what, I was a little lacking. I was probably stupid and very lonely."