It nearly broke her heart how hopeful he looked.

If there was a victim in all this, it was him, even if she'd never slept with him. By all rights she should be happily dating him, falling in love with him. What the hell had she done?

It's not like Landry fell in love with her because he knew her and wanted to be with her. He wanted someone to help take care of him.

Whereas she'd spent three years working with Bob. Okay, so only a day here and there, and total time together, she'd spent a lot more with Landry, but still.

Who said you couldn't buy love?

Landry had bought hers.

She dressed and walked out to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Landry sat at the table in the kitchen with his laptop. He looked up at her approach. At first he smiled, then it faded.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing." She popped a bagel into the toaster oven and waited for it without walking over to give him a good morning kiss.

He pushed back from the table and went to her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." When he wrapped his arms around her from behind, she let him kiss her cheek but she didn't turn around to reciprocate like she normally might.

"I tried to come in this morning. You locked the door."

"Oh, did I? Sorry. It was really late when I came in."

He finally released her. She heard Cris down the hall, in the office probably, talking on the phone. Landry didn't leave her alone, however. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms and watched her slather way more cream cheese than she usually used over the toasted bagel.

He dropped his voice. "Are you going to talk to me?"

She headed for the lanai and hoped he wouldn't follow her. "There's nothing to talk about. I just want to eat breakfast. Is that a crime?"

He didn't follow and she felt even worse for giving him the brush-off.

Eventually she returned to the bedroom, and that's when he followed her and pursued the topic.

"Love, did something happen at the club last night?"

She refused to meet his gaze. "No. I'm fine."

"Did you play?"

She thought about lying to him and decided not to. "Yes."

"Who did you play with?"

"Does it matter?" He sighed, but he didn't force her. She finally admitted, "Bob."

"I see."

She wheeled around, immediately on the defensive. "What? I'm not allowed to play? You said as long as I didn't have sex with someone else that you didn't care."

He slowly nodded. "That's correct. I did. However, you've never been this upset before. I'd like to know why."

She so didn't want to go there, but it spilled out and she knew if she didn't say it, it would continue to fester. She stalked over to him and lowered her voice so Cris couldn't hear. "You told me when you found out what Cris did to me that you felt like a pity fuck, right?"

He nodded, eying her, but didn't speak.

"Well, I guess it finally slammed home for me that it's about the same way I feel. Like you married me because you felt sorry for me because of what he did to me. Let's face it, you're gay.

Straight for me notwithstanding, normally I wouldn't have even crossed your radar." When she tried to turn away, he grabbed her arm and wouldn't let go.

"Love, that's not how I feel about you! Yes, in the beginning it was a transaction, one designed to punish Cris, but I have never lied when I've told you how I feel. I love you. You are my wife, and I plan on doing my damnedest to convince you of how I feel no matter how long it takes."

She jerked her arm away and pulled back. "Yeah. So I don't leave with your money."

He shook his head. "No! Jesus Christ, I love you. What do I have to do to convince you of that?

What caused this?"

"When the three years are up," she said, "we'll go back to your attorney and change the pre-nup so everything's yours again. I don't want anything, only the salary you promised." She wouldn't look at him. "I want to be fair."

He crossed the bedroom and grabbed her arms, shaking her. "You promised you wouldn't leave me! You can't leave me!"

"I can, and I don't have to leave you. This is my house, remember?"

"Dammit, Tilly, please talk to me!"

She thrashed against him, but he held on tighter until she finally gave in and collapsed against him. He pulled her into his arms and sat with her on the bed. "Talk to me, baby girl, please. Don't do this to me. Don't kill me like this, I can't take it. I can't lose you."

"You belong with Cris," she admitted. "You're his Master, and he loves you."

"You said you loved me," he hoarsely asked. "Didn't you mean it?"

"Yeah. I mean it. That's why I can let you go be with him." How ironic, the two men who could break her heart getting to ride off into the sunset together without her.

"No. I won't lose you. I'll send him away."

"You can't do that to him."

"I told you from the beginning that I would do it if you told me to."

"But you love him."

"And I love you and you're my wife. If you think I'm leaving you without a fight, think again."

He made her look at him. "This has nothing to do with the money. We can go down there today and redo the pre-nup if it'll make you feel better. If I lose you, I lose my fucking heart, and I can't go through that again."

"You love Cris. I know you do. It's not fair to him to do this. I'd moved on after he left. It took a while, sure, but I did it. I can do it again. You need him and he needs you. He can't find someone else to be what you are to him. You, on the other hand, are proof that given enough time, I can find someone else." She tried to climb out of his lap and he wouldn't let her go.

He shook his head. "Stop it. I won't leave. I can't lose you." Then she spotted the tears in his eyes and it froze her in place. "I can't lose you," he repeated, his voice hoarse and choked. "Please, Tilly, reconsider! Talk to me. Just...dammit, tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it! I need you!"

She reached up and gently brushed his tears away with her thumb, fascinated by the feel of them on her fingertips. This wasn't the strong and angry Master, or her playful husband, or even gentle and loving Daddy.

This was a desperate man in a lot of pain.

"If it tells you anything," he said, "I didn't cry when Cris left me until much later. You're killing me, baby girl. You're my life and I can't lose you. I need you. I don't want to live without you. Please!"

She threw her arms around him and tried to deal with the crush of emotions swamping her. No, she couldn't leave him. He loved her.

As much as she loved him.

He needed her.

He muttered into her hair, "Please, I love you. I can't lose you. Don't leave me."

"How can you say you'd get rid of him and keep me? You've loved him longer than you've loved me."

He lifted his head and touched his forehead to hers. "As you yourself said, I've lost him before and I survived. To lose you would kill me."

"You almost killed yourself."

"That was my stupid choice. I didn't have to make it. Thank god I didn't succeed or I'd never have met you." He kissed her. "I'll admit it. I'm a selfish man. I want both of you. I love both of you. If forced to choose, however, I will always choose you."

What was she doing? Why get upset over this? Why be an immature brat over this?

"Would you rather be free to take a chance with Bob?" he quietly asked. "Is that what brought this on? That you want to see where things might lead with him?"

"No!" It hit her-that absolutely was the truth. She did not want to be free. She felt sorry for Bob, but she didn't want to lose Landry. "Okay. I won't leave. I'm sorry. I'm... I just really got broadsided by all this."

He hugged her tightly, desperately. "Jesus you scared twenty years off my life, baby girl. Please don't frighten me like that again."

Tilly closed her eyes and let him hold her. No, she didn't want to be anywhere but here.

"I think I need some time to reconsider the Cris issue," she admitted. "It's not fair to him to keep him like that, not able to spend time with you, but I don't know how to get over my jealousy."

"Is that what upset you?"

He waited for her answer even though it took her a long moment to finally admit it. "Yes. I don't know why it doesn't bother me seeing you use him or play with him, but when I'm not allowed to at least watch... Yeah, it's a double standard. I admit it."

He stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry it upset you. If I'd known, I never would have done it."

"See, that's the point. I didn't know it would upset me that much and in all fairness, I should man up and deal with it."

He grinned. "I would prefer you don't get manly."

"Ugh. Pain in the ass, that's what you are."

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. "Whatever I have to do to make you happy, I will. If you want, we'll go to the lawyer today and change things. I can't lose you, sweetheart.

Please."

She thought about it for a while. "No, that's okay." She took a deep breath. "I guess I'm not as big a person as I thought I was. You're my husband and sharing you with him isn't as easy as I thought it might be."

Landry squeezed his eyes shut and held her tightly, afraid to let her go. He could not lose her.

Would not lose her.

If she would just open up and let Cris back into her heart, no way she'd leave the two of them.

He had to bridge that gap before something else happened and he risked losing her forever.

He didn't need to lie to her about how he felt. Losing her would rip his heart and soul apart.

And he did need her, every bit as much as he needed Cris.

He just needed to make her admit how much she still loved Cris and find a way to bring them together again for good.

Tilly's way of working through her issues was to make Cris' life miserable over the next few days. Landry didn't miss her harsh tone, sarcastic comments, and less than charitable treatment.