She felt the anguish in his confession. His voice was hoa.r.s.e, like he was in pain. She unfastened the b.u.t.tons on his shirt and pushed the garment from his shoulders. She needed him too. Needed to feel him inside her. To know what it was like. Would they have a connection? Would she feel differently toward him afterward?

She watched as he unzipped his pants and pulled his underwear down. The length of his hard, thick c.o.c.k sprang forward, glistening like marble. She caressed it, amazed by the thick width and long size of it. To think, within moments, this would be inside her. Would it bring her pleasure? Would Cayson Sullivan be a good lover? He had to be. How else would he have so many women l.u.s.ting after him?

Destiny held her breath as he pulled a condom from his back pocket and sheathed himself. She would know soon. She gazed up at him. Their eyes locked as he paused at her entrance. He must have read the fear there. "I promise you nothing but pleasure," he husked.

She nodded, silently giving him permission. She was ready. She'd been h.o.r.n.y for him since this afternoon when she'd left him on the beach. No, since before that. She'd been attracted to him almost from the beginning. She'd ached for his touch. Now, she wanted to know what it felt like to be f.u.c.ked.

Cayson plunged forward, driving to the hilt. Destiny screamed. His eyes looked up frantic. Now, he knew her secret.

It was like derailing a train. Cayson withdrew partially. Then, everything came to a screeching halt. His accusatory glare hurt her. "Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded. He looked like he didn't know what to do. Hadn't he ever slept with a virgin?

"Keep going," she told him. "I want to know you in every way."

"d.a.m.n, Destiny. Why me?"

He wiped a tear that trickled down her cheek. "I want you to be the first, Cayson. Please, don't stop."

He hung his head and let out a deep sigh. She felt his body tense with hesitation. She'd come this far. She didn't want to turn back now. She clenched her legs around his back, pulling him deeper into her p.u.s.s.y, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist. And she was right. A pained look crossed his features before rapture took over. Her tight walls loosened up as he thrust forward. At that moment, his demeanor shifted. He stroked deep and hard as he relentlessly pounded into her. She gritted her teeth, fighting past the discomfort. Soon, the pain gave way to a pleasurable rhythm. She arched her hips and moved with him, matching his pace.

Within seconds, his body trembled above hers. He grunted in satisfaction as he came. Soon after, he rolled off her, and turned his back to her. Was it her imagination, or was he angry with her? She didn't get a chance to ask him. Minutes later, she went to the bathroom. When she emerged, he'd left the room. Earlier, he'd given her pleasure. It seemed all she'd been able to give him was anger.

Cayson sat mute in a wicker chair. From his vantage point on the lanai of Dane's suite, he surveyed an endless stretch of white sands bordered by the crystal blue waters of the Indian Ocean. The salt-water breeze teased his nostrils, beckoning him to take a dip in the warm waters. But he didn't feel like swimming right now. He felt like sitting here feeling sorry for himself.

"Are you going to wallow in your self-imposed misery all day?" Dane asked, as he joined Cayson on the lanai, one gla.s.s of papaya juice in each hand.

"Maybe."

Dane handed him a gla.s.s before sitting in the chair next to him. "Well, can you wallow quicker? Charly's waiting for me, and I don't need to p.i.s.s her off the day before our wedding. You know how sensitive brides can be."

Charly had taken her kids snorkeling earlier that morning. Dane was supposed to join them, but Cayson had woken him up at the crack of dawn to have a brotherly talk. Cayson grunted. "Seeing as how I've never been married, and probably never will get married, noI don't know."

"For the record, I want you to know that the wallowing scale has gone up one notch. And it's in direct correlation with the bonehead jacka.s.s meter."

Cayson cut a glance at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Dane sipped his juice, taking his time before responding. "You're acting like a jacka.s.s. A beautiful woman gets dropped into your lap-"

"More like court-ordered into my lap."

"Whatever." He swatted the air. "You've two obviously have chemistry. The fact that she's a virgin shouldn't matter."

"Was a virgin."

"Was a virgin. So what? You've popped cherries before. What's the big deal?"

Cayson stared at the sun climbing higher into the sky. He never got to see the sunrise in St. Louis. He was too busy working. He glanced at Dane who was enjoying the same spectacular scenery. "No," he answered. "Not really."

Dane eyeballed him, mouth agape. "You never had a virgin? All the women you've screwed?"

"Every female I had s.e.x with was experienced."

"Even when you were in high school?"

"h.e.l.l yeah. s.h.i.t, some of those girls taught me a thing or two!"

"No wonder you're such a p.u.s.s.y hound. Your generation is loose-moraled."

"Hey, you're only ten years older than me."

Dane grinned. "A lot can happen in a decade, bro. Regardless, did her being a virgin take away any of the pleasure? Is that why you're so d.a.m.n moody?"

Now it was Cayson's turn to take his time responding. He'd wanted to impress Destiny with his lovemaking skills. The irony was she had no clue of all the work that had gone into his seduction. The moment he encountered the barrier between her legs, he felt...shameful. Guilty. Then, he got mad. She was so s.e.xy, so flirtatious. The way she looked at him. The way her body responded to him. There was no way she could be a virgin. He felt as though she'd tricked him. Furious, he'd pumped, driving himself into herharder, deeper, faster. He'd tried to rid himself of his frustration. It hadn't worked. Now, his body craved her even more.

"It was off-the-chain pleasurable. It's just she couldn't appreciate my prowess. I wanted to rock her world. Be the best she ever had. I guess knowing she was a virgin took all of the air out of my performance."

Dane chortled. "Because she had nothing to compare it to?"

"Exactly." Cayson shrugged. "Virgins are...different. Almost sacred. I felt like an old codger tempting a kid with candy in the school yard.

"Nichole was a virgin when I met her."

Cayson was still a teenager when Dane married his first wife, Nichole, who died in a tragic accident over ten years ago. n.o.body in the family thought Dane would recover from that life-altering event until he met Charly. "How did you handle it?"

"I was young. Twenty-three when we met and twenty-five when we married. She was twenty-one. I didn't think it was unusual at all."

"Destiny is twenty-four."

"That's still relatively young. It's not like she's the forty-year-old virgin."

"I don't know." Cayson shook his head. "In some ways, I feel like I'm not worthy. Why'd she pick me?"

Dane slapped him on the knee. "Man, you should be glad she chose you to be her first. Destiny could have had any man she wanted. She's freakin' gorgeous."

"This is too much pressure," Cayson said, staring off into the horizon again, as if some epiphany was waiting to be uncovered.

"The deed is done, bro. The pressure should be off. Now it seems as though you're punishing her for saving herself. That ain't right."

He met his brother's chastising gaze. "Well, how do you think this whole thing has affected me? I feel like I need to marry her or something."

"Remember when I was afraid to date Charly? You gave me some good advice. I'm going to return the favor. Stop being an a.s.s. Destiny doesn't strike me as the type of woman who expects marriage from you. You're both consenting adults. She wanted it. G.o.d knows you wanted it, if the way you were watching her every move last night was any indication. You both got what you wanted. End of story." Dane stood. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my fiancee and my step kids are waiting. And unlike some folks, I'm smart enough to realize when I have a good thing."

Cayson stood too and followed Dane back through their s.p.a.cious honeymoon suite. He should be focusing on the positives, he knew. There was no turning back now. His relationship with Destiny would never be the same, no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise. "You know, despite how bad I feel about being her first, I want to do it again. I just can't keep my hands off her. Does that make me an a.s.shole?"

A sly grin eased from Dane's lips. "No, it makes you a h.o.r.n.y a.s.s man, just like all the rest of us."

Chapter 12.

"Do you think Charly will like this one?"

Destiny held up a multicolored sarong for Irene to see. The muted blues reminded her of the tranquil waters the Maldives was famous for. The price tag was so reasonable, Destiny thought of buying a second one as a souvenir for Phaedra.

"Ooh, that is pretty," Irene agreed. "But you don't have to buy her anything. She's not expecting it, I can a.s.sure you."

"I want to," Destiny persisted. "Plus, she's been so sweet to me, and she hardly knows me."

In fact, all of the ladies had been sweet to her. Irene had welcomed her with open arms. Kendra had insisted she come on this shopping trip. And Charly had not batted an eye at having an extra guest at the wedding. Destiny had never been in the company of such professional womenat least none that didn't have a hidden agenda. This was like having sisters. She didn't realize how lonely she was for female companionship until now.

"Well, if Charly doesn't want it, I'll take it," Kendra joked. She pulled a matching blouse from a nearby sales rack. "I'll make it part of my permanent work uniform."

Destiny laughed. She knew Kendra and Mark co-owned a travel agency and a scuba-diving company. Kendra was the first female entrepreneur she'd ever met. The business Kendra and Mark had built was impressive. Destiny wondered if she'd ever be that successful. She pushed away a twinge of jealousy. She was sure Kendra worked hard to become the woman she was today.

"Still, it must be nice to be the boss and wear whatever you want to work," Destiny said.

"It has its perks."

"And you get to work with a handsome guy every day," Irene reminded her.

Kendra elbowed Destiny. "We both do!"

As Destiny pulled another sarong from the rack, a wave of sorrow threatened to drown her. "It's not like that with me and Cayson."

"What do you mean?"

Destiny's eyes darted toward Irene. It felt weird to be discussing Cayson with his mother around. "Um, I don't know. I don't think he's attracted to me the way Mark was to you."

"Are you crazy?" Irene interjected. "Anyone can see Cayson is head-over-heels for you."

Destiny's pulse raced at the thought of Cayson crushin' on her. But Irene had no way of knowing what happened last night; how Cayson left her during one of the most vulnerable periods in her life. Shouldn't a woman's first time making love leave her feeling joyous? Emanc.i.p.ated? Like Leonardo DiCaprio when he stood with arms outstretched on the t.i.tanic. She didn't feel like the Queen of the World. Except for the tenderness between her legs, she felt nothing except regret.

"Let's just say he's a hard man to figure out," Destiny explained.

"He can be moody," Irene conceded. "Especially when things don't go his way."

Kendra snorted. "Then, he's the same as all men. They get cranky when they're sick, and juvenile when they don't get their way." She shot an apologetic glance at Irene. "No offense."

Irene smiled. "None taken. After all, I raised three Sullivan men. I know everything about themthe good, the bad, and the ugly."

"Maybe you can give me some insight," Destiny said. "I'm not sure what he wants."

"Now, that's where I have to step in," Kendra advised. "Pay no attention to what he wants. You've got to be the woman you're comfortable being. If a man isn't attracted to who you are, he's not the man for you."

Irene agreed. "That's right. You can't change yourself for anyone, including my son. But I have a feeling you're being too hard on yourself." She patted Destiny on the shoulder. "Cayson adores you just the way you are. The problem is he's been running wild for so many years he can't face the fact that he's met his match."

"You think I'm his match?"

"Honey, yes!"

Kendra giggled. "I agree. He had the proverbial lovesick puppy look on his face the entire night. I've never seen Cayson so enamored with a woman."

Destiny let out a deep breath. She knew about his playboy reputation. She knew there hadn't been one woman to hold his interest for long. Sadly, she thought she might fall into that bucket too. She would heed Kendra's advice. She'd be her own woman. If Cayson liked it, great. If not, she'd live.

Although I'd probably be miserable without him.

She brushed her negative thoughts aside. She had to believe in herself. Six weeks ago, she didn't need anyone. She depended on her wits get her through any obstacle. Now, it was as if she couldn't function without the man.

"Of all the Sullivan men, Cayson is the most complicated," Irene told her. "Tell him exactly how you feel, and put an end to this nonsense."

Destiny nodded. "Thanks, Irene. I'll do that."

"Atta girl." Irene hugged her, and then pulled back. "Girl, you're a tangle of nerves." She ma.s.saged Destiny's shoulders. "You need the talents of a good ma.s.seuse."

"Yes!" Kendra echoed. "Let's all get a ma.s.sage. There's a great spa back on the mainland not far from the restaurant where we ate last night."

"Great idea," Irene gushed. "We should pick Charly up first. I'm sure the bride-to-be could use some pampering at the spa."

Destiny warmed to the idea. "Sounds good to me." This trip was full of firsts. She'd never had a professional ma.s.sage before. She'd never traveled outside of St. Louis before yesterday. She'd never made love before last night. And she'd definitely never been surrounded by sweeter-than-sweet relatives. She could imagine being a part of this family one day. But first, she had to get Cayson speaking to her again.

Destiny's bones felt like Jell-O. It was no wonder Irene pushed for a ma.s.sage. Having the tension kneaded from her muscles was the most heavenly feeling she'd ever experienced. Even better than Ben and Jerry's Coffee Toffee Bar Crunch. After being spoiled at the spa, the five women (including Charly's daughter, Joi) enjoyed a leisurely lunch before returning to their bungalows.

Instead of catching up on her beauty rest, Destiny headed for the beach. Now, she lay on her stomach, stretched across her oversized towel, basking beneath the warm glow of the sun. She had two more days before she returned home. She was not going to waste a single minute. The sunshine heated her from her shoulder blades to the backs of her heels. She didn't care that her backside was partially exposed from the string bikini she wore. She was in paradise. She could do as she pleased.

"I hope you don't mind if I slather some sunscreen on you," she heard a voice offer. "It'd be a shame for that beautiful a.s.s to get burned."

She looked up to find Cayson sitting next to her. He was so quiet, she hadn't heard him approach. She nodded, not wanting to speak. She'd let him talk first. She closed her eyes as he rubbed sunblock over her back and b.u.t.tocks. Even the simple act of his long fingers spreading the lotion over her skin made her temperature rise.

How does he always manage to turn me on so easily?

After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. "Destiny, I'm sorry. I acted like a jacka.s.s."

"And?"

"And I had no right to treat you that way."

"And?"

"And I'm begging for your forgiveness."

She rolled onto her side and propped herself up on one elbow. "I've been through a lot in life, but that was probably one of the most painful moments I've endured."