"That really awkward moment when a situation doesn't end the way you think it t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es." @Kavon #CrackingMyselfUp My palms were sweaty as I clasped my fingers around the file for James. I stepped out of the elevator and into what I felt was the wolf's den, a full hour earlier than I had to be at work, hoping he wouldn't be in yet. You could say I was a little nervous. I walked quickly toward his a.s.sistant's desk, eyes blurry and unfocused. I wasn't sure if I could look James in the eyes after the dreams I had of him. The way I touched myself when I thought of him as I lay in bed.

Last night after his last text, I stared down at my phone, eyes all out of focus, remembering the way his fingers felt against my chin. I stood in the middle of my apartment alone, a maddening ache between my legs. Erotic. Sensual. Kevin never made me feel like that, and all James did was touch my chin. The ache pounded out a rhythm against the silk of my panties. It pulsed with a craving. My thighs, hands, back, everything tightened with s.e.xual tension. It had been so long. So long since a man touched me as if he wanted me, and longer since I felt a release of any sort. What is it about Jameson Holt? I asked myself as I pulled down my covers and snuggled into bed.

I pictured his breathtaking smile. The devilish way his eyes gleamed as he raked them over me. It's as if he wanted me. But this is James Holt, a natural charmer, and like I've said before, I could be reading it all wrong. It sure does take my mind off Kevin, though. It's a beautiful torture.

The image of him holding my panties had me sweaty, tossing and turning on the edge of sleep. I parted my legs and slowly slid my hand between my thighs. The second my fingertip touched the swollen flesh my c.l.i.t throbbed in time with my pulse. My eyes squeezed shut as thoughts of James rushed in. The pads of his fingers trailing along my skin and his hot mouth tugging at my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I touched myself the way I wanted James to touch me, as if it were his fingertips, his lips, his tongue. My breath came out in little puffs, soft whimpers. I didn't even have to be quiet, since now I lived alone. I bit down hard on my lip at the thought, but I needed this ache to go away. It bordered on painful. I've never wanted to have someone inside me so badly before. If only this was real. G.o.d, if only he was there with me, his fingers sliding over my wet skin, not mine. I lost myself to the sensation of it, the image of him. My thighs trembled with delicious tension as I pretended his fingers pushed inside me and a hand held my legs open as his tongue and lips savagely made me cry out his name in the darkness of my bedroom.

"Oh, h.e.l.lo. May I help you with something?" The voice slashed a hole in my thoughts, causing my feet to trip over themselves. I blinked and clutched the folder to my chest. I seriously had no clue where I was for a minute.

"I...um...I'm..." Holy c.r.a.p. I kneaded the bridge of my nose with my fingers and chuckled. "Sorry. I'm a bit fl.u.s.tered. I'm Lexa Novak, from fact checking. Mr. Holt expressed a need to have this folder on his desk as soon as I came." I came? I wish I could come, with him. How the h.e.l.l do I get these thoughts to shut the h.e.l.l up? I had to get this impossible man out of my head. I was using thoughts of him to rid the c.r.a.ppy ones I was having of Kevin.

"I just got in myself. I was going to fetch him his morning coffee. I don't believe he's in yet, so could you maybe just go in and leave it on his desk? I'd appreciate it; I'm running a bit behind in my morning errands for him." The screen of her laptop was open to Facebook, her fingers paused mid-post, and a half naked man was sprawled out reading a book as her banner. Yeah, she was running very late.

"Sure thing," I chirped. Well, at least he wasn't here yet and I didn't have to see him. That was the whole point in coming this early. My fluttering insides calmed down quickly, shoving thoughts of his body crushing mine against my desk out of my mind.

His office door was a few feet away from her desk in a little alcove that hosted a strange purple potted plant. I spent a second staring at it, wondering what the h.e.l.l planet it was from, then turned the k.n.o.b to his office and walked in.

A sudden heart attack stopped me dead in my tracks. Everything moving and pulsing inside me came to a complete halt. My hands gripped the doorframe, a Holy G.o.d fell from my lips, and my limbs turned to jelly.

Steam hung heavily from the ceiling. It drifted into the office from an open door; a low rumble of music touched my ears.

I saw him before he noticed me. I couldn't even blink my eyes. You don't blink your eyes when you see heaven, you know, you might miss something.

He only noticed me when his eyes snapped up after he heard my bag and folder fall to the floor. The only thing he wore was a towel. A half a towel that hung low on his hips, and a ghost of smile tugging at his sinful lips. His eyes were full on green today, a striking effect against his tanned skin and wet hair.

The decent thing that I should have done was turn and walk out, but there wasn't a decent thought in my mind. Not a d.a.m.n one. It was too filled with a tight chest, with muscles that twisted and moved just beneath golden skin. Perfectly sculpted, chiseled out of stone abs, and a hint of a deliciously shaped V running just under the towel.

"You're blushing, Ms. Novak," he whispered.

"And you're in a towel, Mr. Holt."

I covered my eyes. I knew it was too little too late, I had already drunk my eyes full and I needed to get the h.e.l.l out of there before I humiliated myself even more. I pivoted on the b.a.l.l.s of my high heels and was ready to run like h.e.l.l, leaving everything on the floor.

"Don't! Don't go! Lex, wait!"

Then the half-naked, wet G.o.d was grabbing my arms and I was hyperventilating myself to near o.r.g.a.s.m. "G.o.d, James. I'm so sorry. I'm so embarra.s.sed," I said, covering my eyes. "Your a.s.sistant told me to just come in and leave it on your desk and... you said to just to bring it here as soon as I came."

"And you came?" He smirked.

I slapped him on the arm. "You're making it worse, Holt."

He chuckled. "It's okay. I hit the gym this morning and then showered here. Couldn't sleep." Holding up a finger, he turned, giving me a peek at the most insanely masculine sight of his muscular back, walked into a closet, and pulled out a pair of slacks. "Just hold on a sec, okay. Don't run." I was struck dumb. Paralyzed. Drool was probably dripping down in long strands from my lips.

He didn't come back in any better. Just switched his towel for a pair of black slacks, which I knew d.a.m.n well had no underwear underneath them.

I folded my arms across my chest and looked him dead in the face. I thought about road kill, monsters that lurked in closets, and the time when I was seventeen and hit a squirrel with my car. Anything to stop thinking about his bare body hovering over me, or his wet lips sliding against my skin.

"I'd really like to talk to you about something," he started then stopped and winced. "Is this weird for you?" He stepped closer.

"Weird was the towel," I stammered, nervously.

"Good weird?" He took another step closer and I tasted a hint of that morning's breakfast threaten a redecoration of his office walls.

My eyes went from him to his desk; my brain went from neatly stacked papers to me being thrown across them and him...okay stop. Just, no. Stupid, unstoppable giggles burst out of my mouth. I had two choices going on in my head: run or kiss him. Run or kiss him.

I could swear if I looked on my shoulder in that moment I'd see a little h.o.r.n.y devil prodding me with an enormous p.e.n.i.s-shaped pitchfork, chanting, "Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him."

Suddenly, someone knocked at the door.

I stepped back, smoothed down my suit, and straightened my spine. His a.s.sistant poked her head in, waving a file of proofs and a cup of coffee. She stormed in with sharp clicking heels and didn't bat an eye at Holt's lack of clothes. My shoulders relaxed. This was a regular occurrence then. The smile he beamed at her was the same as he had given me earlier. So it wasn't only for me; there was absolutely nothing special about me, or this, or us. There was nothing at all.

He spoke with his a.s.sistant in hushed whispers as I shifted my body closer to the door. I wanted out.

Sophia walked in next, screeching at the top of her lungs about not being able to use any poetic license if he kept switching editors on her. As soon as she saw me, she abruptly stopped and frowned. Her eyes danced between James and me, her cheeks flamed, and she sneered at me under her breath, "Hmm. Holt's half naked. Trying to climb up the ladder, Ms. Novak?"

"No, Ms. Willington, if I wanted to further my career here I'd just have Holt peek at my portfolio, I wouldn't lower my standards to yours." I moved closer to her, my heart feeling like ice in my chest, rage and jealousy and hurt pumping through its cold, hardening chambers. "And what were you thinking to accomplish doing the in-house mail guy? I'm sure we could both agree how unsatisfactory that was."

"Please. I don't need to sleep with people to get to the top; I'm there already. This wasn't anything personal; he didn't even tell me about you. And he was far from unsatisfactory. Maybe he just needed to f.u.c.k something a little warmer than a cold fish. I enjoyed myself as you saw," she bragged.

"Sure you did. And thank you by the way, for doing him. I needed someone to take out my trash." I walked out with my head held high. James was right; she could have him. Why the h.e.l.l would I want him now anyway?

The thoughts didn't stop me from hitting the first restroom in sight and losing my breakfast in one of its stalls. Why did she have to be so in my face about it? It was as if I was back in high school.

I hid the rest of the morning in my office, ignoring everyone. I needed to stay away from James before I started falling for his attention and got hurt. And I needed to get over the fact I wasn't getting married to the giraffe.

The lobby was empty as I waited, the sounds of the traffic outside muted to a dull roar. The ding of the elevator caught my attention. As the door slid open silently, I saw a well-dressed Jameson Holt. The sight of him had my pulse racing and I was angered by the hold Holt's charm had over my libido; it was humiliating. His eyes caught sight of me and his lips curved into a slow, s.e.xy smile. So unfair.

"You need to sue my phone for s.e.xual hara.s.sment. My phone is a dirty, pervy old man," he chuckled.

"I dunno, I think he's sort of cute. I'm single now; maybe I should ask him out for coffee."

"Why not send him some dirty selfies later tonight, see what he thinks?" he smirked back.

"As always, sir, our verbal sparring is quite intoxicating," I teased dramatically.

"I'm serious. All my phone seems to want to do is s.e.xt with you," he winked.

Mandy and Frank walked up behind us laughing, "I am starving," Mandy said, leaning her elbow on Frank's shoulder, "where are we going?"

I watched as James's smile turned into a grimace.

"Next door for BLTs," I said.

"Okay, let's go," Frank said, yanking Mandy along with him.

James pulled back on my shoulders. "Are you afraid of being alone with me?"

I stepped closer to him, and smiled. "Simply terrified."

His eyes narrowed as he contemplated what I said. "I'm not sure if that's good or bad," he whispered.

I hid my face behind the menu even though I knew d.a.m.n well what I was ordering. I felt awkward and sweaty. And I couldn't stop thinking about why Jameson Holt would have wanted to be alone with me. I peeked out over the top of the menu and found him already smiling back at me. The flirty communication between us was starting to make me itch.

"We're all going to happy hour right after work tomorrow," Frank's voice sliced through our staring contest. My face heated instantly. "You should come, Holt."

Holt didn't answer. He didn't even look in Frank's direction to acknowledge the invite. Instead, he just continued to look right into my eyes.

I squirmed in my seat. The eye contact was making me breathe a little funny. It was making my heart flutter and respond in ways it shouldn't when one's boss is looking at you. Maybe there was something stuck on my eyelash.

Just as I lowered my eyes, he asked, so low I barely heard the words, "Will you be there?"

A tight knot formed in the back of my throat and spread a fiery burn across my neck and collarbone. The way his eyes looked at me and the way his words fell gently against my ears was something I wasn't used to.

I nodded my reply.

His smile in response was stunning.

A soft sudden vibration in my bag alerted me of an incoming message and I quickly broke eye contact and rummaged through my purse for my cell.

"What the h.e.l.l are you trying to write? Those aren't words. And you call yourself an editor," I laughed, looking back up at him.

"I swear I didn't text you anything. My phone is in my pocket. Look, see?" he said, yanking his phone out of his back pocket and holding it right in front of me.

"Oh, my G.o.d. Your a.s.s is texting me now?" I laughed, dipping my face into the leather of the booth.

Right after lunch, we walked back into the lobby where we found Sophia standing next to a sullen Kevin. As soon as he saw me, he jumped away from her side. a.s.shole.

"Where are you all coming from?" Kevin asked, looking only at me.

"Hotel down the street, probably," Sophia mumbled.

"Excuse me?" James snapped. "How juvenile of you. And completely none of your business where I sleep with someone." His hand touched my lower back and slowly slid down to the curve of my a.s.s. All I wanted to do was run away.

"I knew it," she hissed.

His hand was burning a hole through my pants. What the h.e.l.l was he trying to do? Did he want them to think we just slept together? This was the most childish s.h.i.t I'd ever been involved in. Seriously, this stuff didn't even happen to me in high school.

Glancing quickly around to all their faces, I huffed out, "Why don't you all just grow the h.e.l.l up? The only idiots sleeping with each other are you two losers and you can have each other." I spun around on my heels and stormed towards the elevators. "I have work to do. I can't waste any more time on this nonsense."

James ran after me and followed me right into the elevator. Holy h.e.l.l. Why? Why did he have to go and do that? The doors immediately closed behind us.

"Are you okay?" he asked, taking my chin in his hand and running his thumb across my cheek. My heart pounded at the touch. But I pulled my face out of his grasp and slid away.

"No. I'm not okay. You just made it look like we are in some sort of a physical relationship. You made me look just like Sophia, and I'm nothing like her."

His eyes rounded, his entire body stiffened, and he slammed his hand against the emergency stop b.u.t.ton. I automatically cringed, waiting for the sound of ringing alarms, but there was nothing but the heavy sounds of him breathing. "You're nothing like her."

"Yeah. I get that. That was Kevin's problem with me. But I don't want any kind of pathetic revenge, okay? It's not going to make me feel any better, it's never going to give me back what I lost, and it just makes me look like her. I'm not her. And I don't want anyone thinking I need to sleep with you to get further in my career."

His chest was rising and falling, jaw ticking and twitching, his eyes locked onto mine. I wanted to slap this beautiful man across his stupid face.

Then he lunged at me, pinning me against the elevator wall with his body. The warmth of his body crushed into mine, his face a few inches away, his breaths fanning out across the skin of my neck. His thumb stroked my lips. My body tingled in response and my knees weakened. His other hand reached up and gently pulled the small barrette that held my hair in its tight bun, causing my hair to spill around my shoulders. "You're nothing like her. You're beautiful inside and out." His eyes searched mine, back and forth, back and forth, then the rest of my face. My eyes, my lips, my neck-as if he couldn't bear to miss a feature.

Slowly he leaned forward, and before I could ask him what the h.e.l.l he thought he was doing, his lips brushed over mine. "And s.e.xy as pure sin."

My body took over. Completely overthrew any responsible thoughts. I wanted him instantly. It was beyond reason and sanity. I wanted his hands on my skin, on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, in the heat between my thighs. I could imagine them tugging and gripping me, his lips nibbling, and sucking. I was losing my mind.

Our lips parted slightly, breathing each other in. The warm heat of his mouth panted against mine. He lingered there, his lips just over mine, his breathing ragged, my mind spinning, my body aching, arching into his. He hadn't even kissed me yet and my body was his, breaths gasping and muscles straining to climb over him.

My head screamed for me to stop, to stop and back away, before the kiss happened, before I made the biggest mistake ever and locked lips with one of my bosses. But I couldn't. I didn't want to stop.

I tilted my head up, and finally...finally his lips touched mine, the heat of his tongue singed mine and it's as if every moment of pent up s.e.xual tension I had ever felt in my entire life balled up and knotted in each and every inch of muscle that made up my body and twisted me so tightly I thought I might possibly explode. His fingers grasped onto my hair and my neck, pulling me closer, warm lips desperate-a gasping, hungry, starving kiss. His hard chest was hot against me as his lips wetly melted into mine. The tightness in my muscles melted as our mouths moved over each other, exploring, tasting. Strong, thick hands slid to my waist, ferociously grasping and clenching my body to his. Hot fingers cupped the curve of my a.s.s and I was lifted, sliding up the elevator wall. My hands fisted his hair, my legs instantly wrapped around his waist and his growling and moaning had me whimpering and almost begging for more.

A buzzing sound interrupted us. An electric crackled voice stopped us dead. "Mr. Holt, is everything okay? The elevator is being called to the lobby and needs to continue its descent." Reality hit me so hard my head actually thudded against the wall. How come in movies and books this s.h.i.t never happens?

"I don't want to stop," he breathed hard against my ear, then pulled away from me, still struggling for air.

"Boss. Boss. You are my boss," was all I could say, making him stagger back away from me. I'm crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. I wanted him to kiss me more. I was too d.a.m.ned scared to say it. He's had Sophia, for G.o.d sake, why the h.e.l.l would he want me?

"Yes. We're fine," he hissed, pressing the elevator b.u.t.ton down, chest still rising and falling quickly.

"What the h.e.l.l was that?" I whispered, touching my fingers to my lips. They were swollen and wet.

His stunned eyes stared unblinking into mine. "That was soul wrenching."

I needed to get home and forget about him. This s.e.xy man who makes me forget all about Kevin with the best first kiss I had ever felt. Then slammed me with a soul wrenching comment. Whether it was meant to be good or bad, it didn't matter. This man was my boss. Period. There could be no soul wrenching going on.