My words rattled her. It was easy to tell by the darkening pink of her cheeks. But she asked questions too. Uncomfortable ones.

"Why Sophia? What did you see in her?" she asked.

"Nothing, really. She was easily available. She threw herself at me one night and I just went with it. I wasn't seeing anyone at the time, so I spent the night with her." I rubbed at the back of my neck, ashamed and not even understanding why. "I never thought there was anything more for me. I never really felt strongly about anyone. Just s.e.xually. I mean, I've dated plenty...but like Sophia said, I was always emotionally inaccessible. I'd never met anyone I wanted anything more with. I'm not opposed to the idea of relationships and marriage. I've never felt that way about someone before. I'm not sure I ever will. But I know I certainly didn't feel it toward her." I exhaled loudly and leaned back, "I always felt bad for her because I could never muster up any real feelings."

She nodded her head slowly as she looked out over the horizon-her expression deep in thought. I watched her face carefully, wondering what she felt about my words, but she gave nothing away, just stared out across the water, impa.s.sively.

"It's bittersweet," she murmured, turning her head toward me and smiling tentatively. "Having these beautiful feelings for another person-the b.u.t.terflies, the comfort, the wanting to spend time with someone. It's such a breathtaking feeling. Until you taste the bitterness of them not feeling the same way back. It's hard to let go of that breathtaking feeling. So hard." Her eyes were wide, as if she shocked herself with her own words.

Yet I understood. I really did. Because I could already taste how bittersweet it was going to be when our time was over.

I sure as h.e.l.l didn't like the taste at all.

I leaned my phone against the lamp and angled it perfectly. I peeked at the viewfinder to see the whole room in the frame. Then I hit record. A small ding chimed and she giggled. I watched as she stood in front of the phone, biting down on her bottom lip, "I feel like there should be some raunchy music in the background."

I hit a few b.u.t.tons and a slow, s.e.xy song filled the room. "Better?"

"Mmmm," she purred, slowly swaying her hips to the music and sliding one strap of her dress over her shoulder. She wore her hair up in a loose twist and slowly pulled out a pin, making her hair tumble down around her face. The dark strands against her tanned skin made me think of beaches and coconut oil. She slowly turned her back toward me, peeking over the back of her shoulder, her gaze still fixed on mine. The gradual rasp of her front zipper sent waves of heat rising along my skin. The silky material of what she wore inched down her back, exposing her smooth skin. Lower and lower it dropped as she swayed her hips to the rhythm of the song. I clenched my fists tightly around the arms of the chair. I wanted them on her hips as she rode me. I wanted my c.o.c.k inside her, filling her; my tongue, fingers, I wanted to crawl inside this woman and live in her blood stream.

I sat and watched her undress until I saw the small tremble of her lips. A small breath of insecurity that I wanted desperately to erase.

I lunged for her and she watched my advance with wide, hungry eyes. She needed to see how much a man could want her. After this, she'd be able to see it whenever she wanted to; all she'd have to do was press play. A reminder of the short time we had together. Fantasy Number Two: s.e.x tape.

We fell onto the bed and she tumbled back onto the pillow, hair splayed out like a crown around her head. She watched the way I looked at her, my slow perusal of her body. She was the most stunning woman I'd ever seen. Her nipples tightened into hard peeks under my gaze, her legs rubbed against each other, and the apex of her thighs dampened with her arousal.

"You look so beautiful," I leaned over her and whispered in her ear. "I want to do so much to your body right now."

"Like what?" she whispered.

I shifted off the bed and dragged my messenger bag off the table. "Number seven on your list was use toys," I said.

A small rush of breath blew from her lips and her hands grasped onto the bed sheets beneath her. "Oh, my G.o.d."

I couldn't help laughing. "Would you relax? It's nothing crazy."

"If you pull out anything with a spiked chain on it, or any gag-type apparatus or...or some other s.e.xual torture device, I think I might run," she vowed, trying to speak in a stern voice. The fit of giggles that completed her thought made my chest squeeze. I loved when she laughed.

"I'll keep that in mind. Want to see what I bought you?" I asked.

She leaned up on her elbows and nodded.

"Have you ever used one?" I asked, pulling out a small bullet-shaped vibrator.

She shook her head quickly, "Not really. I tried but Kevin said it would replace him if I used it."

"So he was jealous of a piece of plastic," I chuckled.

"He told me he wouldn't have to come home anymore if I bought one. He told me I should be able to come from him unless there was something wrong with me. I shouldn't need a stupid vibrating stick."

"And did he always make you come from his c.o.c.k?"

She hesitated before speaking and looked apprehensively toward the vibrator. "I could probably count on the fingers of one hand how many times he made me come."

"My poor girl," I said, smiling and biting down on my lip.

"He always thought there was just something wrong with me."

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. This enhances pleasure." I rummaged for the next box and the lube in my bag, and unpacked a medium sized a.n.a.l plug. "So does this."

A pink blush crept across her face.

Opening the lube, I poured a good amount of it into the palm of my hand and rolled the plug through it as she watched. "Knees up, beautiful."

Immediately she smiled and hugged her knees to her chest, giving the camera and me the perfect view. I gently worked the plug into her bottom, bit by bit. When she scrunched up her face, I stopped and let her relax, then gently pushed it in until it could go no more. What a gorgeous sight. My d.i.c.k was rock hard and throbbing from it. "You feel full?"

"G.o.d, yes," she sighed.

"Just wait," I smirked. I stood up, unbuckled my pants, and let them drop to the floor. My hand was on my c.o.c.k immediately, stroking it while my eyes devoured her. "You haven't felt anywhere near full yet."

"Oh G.o.d, oh G.o.d," she said, as I slid alongside her and pulled her legs over mine. I entered her sideways, shoved myself deep inside her, making her moan out my name. She lay on her back with her legs draped over me, the cell phone camera aimed straight on her. "I'm going to put it really low. Okay?" I thrust deep inside her again and softly placed the tip of the bullet against her swollen c.l.i.t and turned it on. She sucked in a fast breath, "James," she said, eyes wide.

Again, I thrust myself deep inside her, her silkiness vibrating around me, tightening. f.u.c.k, I could feel the vibrator shake her whole p.u.s.s.y. Her body trembled. Soft, low moans murmured strange foreign words from her lips.

"Take hold of it, Lex," I panted, putting the vibrator into her hands. "Make yourself feel good on my c.o.c.k. Make yourself come on me."

Her hand fumbled for it and when our fingers brushed against each other's, I felt how much they trembled. "You're absolutely breathtaking when you lose control, Lex."

She smiled up at me, placed the vibrator against her c.l.i.t again, and rocked slowly against it. "That's it, baby. Enjoy it. Enjoy me." Watching her move her hips made me almost blow my load. The way she moved her body was my own private show. That's what she was doing-putting on a show for me, showing me how she could enjoy her body and mine. She was letting go.

I could have watched her all day. The way she moved the toy over herself and the erotic facial expressions that flashed like pure sin across her face.

"Oh, my G.o.d, James. G.o.d...this...is...so...in...tense," she gasped. She started really getting into it-circling the vibrator around her c.l.i.t-getting the tip of it slick with her wetness.

"f.u.c.k, Lex. That's hot."

"You like watching me do this?" she asked in a husky voice. Her eyes pierced mine-her lips parted and her breathing became rushed and heavy. She was watching me get off on the way I was watching her.

"S'good. James. So full," she moaned breathlessly. h.e.l.l yeah it was. I was bottoming out in her, b.a.l.l.s. .h.i.tting the swell of her a.s.s and the tip of my c.o.c.k hitting the top. I was so thick and hard I could feel the a.n.a.l plug filling up her a.s.s. f.u.c.k, I was getting close.

The soft buzzing of the vibrator hitched up quicker. She was putting it up higher. The sensation had me thrusting into her harder. Faster. Our skin slapped wetly together. Her gasps and moans grew louder, heavier. They mixed with my heavy breathing and low grunts. My b.a.l.l.s tightened and that intense spiraling ache began surging through the base of my d.i.c.k. The bed creaked as she moved her hips with mine-the fabric of the sheets crinkled and pulled as she clawed her nails against it. She was so hot she was making the bed moan and sigh along with her.

I slid my c.o.c.k all the way in and all the way out. Until her chest was heaving, rising and falling in quick, heavy gasps, calling my name. She grinded herself into me, pulled me in closer with her free hand and kissed me. Her body bowed and arched off the bed. She got wetter and wetter, slicking over my d.i.c.k until she was jerking and screaming and convulsing in hard, tight pulses around me.

"Holy Jesus. Sweet holy, yes," she moaned. "James. Oh, s.h.i.t. Oh, f.u.c.k."

I couldn't think. All I heard was her calling my name-I couldn't hold back-the feeling was too intense. I came hard-with her name like a prayer staining my lips.

And I had gotten it all on video.

We were wrapped up in the sheets when my phone rang. I hated to leave the comfort of the bed and the way her leg was slung over my hip, to answer it, but my father's name flashed across the screen. Ever since my mother's death I've tried to be there for him whenever he needed me, as soon as I could. It was guilt I guess. I'm not sure. Not that it mattered, I just always answered the phone when he called and did what he needed me to do. I didn't get to do that with my mother.

"Where are you?" he snarled into the phone.

"I told you I was taking a few weeks off," I explained, quietly walking out of the bedroom for some privacy. There was no chance of me telling him I was here with Lexa. I'd never hear the end of it.

"The latest numbers are in. It's humiliating. We sc.r.a.p the offices in New York and head out West."

"They're that bad?" I asked, walking to the back balcony and looking out over the dark sea.

"Five major advertisers pulled from us yesterday. Five."

He rattled the brand names off-each one a punch to the gut.

"Your mother must me so disappointed in us," he mumbled painfully. Disappointed? In us? She was dead. When was he going to get that through his skull? She couldn't be disappointed or angry or happy or sad.

"Dad, stop," I said, but he spoke over me, louder and harsher.

"I promised her I'd keep it up. That was her dying wish and I couldn't even keep my end of the bargain. I just..." he went on and on, making me hold the phone away from my ear so I didn't have to hear any of it.

"Dad, listen..."

But he didn't. He wouldn't. He just barked orders at me then hung up. Same thing he did every time.

I slumped into the lounge chair in the living area and hung my head in my hands. A lot of people were going to lose their jobs.

"Hey," Lexa's soft voice called out to me. I turned my gaze on her. She leaned on the doorway of the bedroom with our sheets clutched to her chest, barely covering her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

I nodded and pointed to the phone. "The numbers came in and my father's upset. Five advertisers just pulled their ads because of sales."

"Hasn't he opened any of my emails? I think I can help," she said.

"You can't. I'm sorry. I wish you could, but no one is going to give a fact checker the time of day. The magazine needs someone who could carry it. Who people want to see."

"You don't think I could write well enough to keep people entertained?" she asked slowly.

"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that even though I'm sure you're terrific, you're not what people want. We can't settle. We just can't settle for you."

20.

Lexa

"Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and let other people play the fool." @Kavon #MarkTwainSaidItBest I'm not even sure he was talking about the magazine anymore. I wanted to ask him if this had anything to do with us. Was I someone people settled for? No, I wasn't. I would never want to be. It's the reason why I wouldn't go back to Kevin.

I spent the last two days of our make-believe honeymoon trying to keep my distance from him-from us. It was like trying to put a Band-Aid on a cut before it ever happened. It was impossible. And the more I tried to get away, the more he was near me, next to me, deep inside me.

Secretly, I loved it-every minute of his attention. But the thought of him taking it away had me locking myself in the bathroom, rocking in the corner.

We couldn't even board the plane without him pulling me, laughing, into its poor excuse for a bathroom.

Tugging the hem of my shirt with one hand, he pulled open the bathroom door with the other. "Go in first and face the back wall," he spoke quietly against my ear. He slid in behind me, causing me to shove in all the way up against the toilet seat. His hands gripped mine and placed them over the handrails on either side of the walls. Beads of sweat and heat coursed over my skin. The room was too small to even turn around to face him. His hands dropped to my waist and slid my shirt up in a rush, just as the plane started bouncing toward the runway.

His hands cupped my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and his fingers deftly flicked over my nipples. The sensation fluttered straight to my groin and I leaned over more to press my a.s.s against him.

But that only made me get a face full of airplane toilet. "James. My face is in the toilet. This is gross."

He leaned into my back, laughing. "And that's not s.e.xy to you?"

I burst out in a fit of giggles, trying not to breathe in too much. The smell of being in an airplane toilet was finally getting through. I slammed my hand up against my nose to stop the horrible scent from making me sick. "Ugh. The smell!"

He leaned against the door, laughing loudly. "How the h.e.l.l do people do this?"

I tried to turn my body to face him. But the plane bounced and I b.u.mped my elbow into the counter of the small sink and stubbed my knee into the wall.

"Mr. Moneybags, next time your family goes to buy a private plane, you should get bigger bathrooms," I teased when I finally managed to face him.