Kendall, a precocious nine-year-old, solemnly walked up to Seth. "Uncle Seth," she said, "will you play Loan with me?"

Seth arched an eyebrow. "Loan? What's that?"

"It's where I'm the mortgage broker, and you come to get a loan for a house but don't have the money for a down payment." She paused. "We'll have to make a pretend income fax for you."

"Tax," he corrected. "And how about we go to the bookstore instead?"

She frowned. "I want to play Loan."

"They have real estate books there," he said. "I don't think we can play Loan without sufficient background."

"Okay," she conceded. "We can go."

Brandy strolled into the living room just then with her four-year-old sister in her arms. Kayla looked like she'd woken up from a nap and sleepily had her head against Brandy's shoulder. I loved all the girls, but something about Kayla always affected me more strongly.

"Go where?" asked Brandy, shifting Kayla's weight. Although she held her sister tenderly, Brandy had a dark cloud around her.

"To Emerald City."

Brandy sighed. "Don't you spend enough time there?"

"Maddie got a few pairs of shoes for the dress and needs you to try them on."

Brandy gave him a look that exquisitely expressed all of her feelings on that topic.

"Don't start," he warned, in as chastising a tone as I'd ever heard him use. Welcome to adolescence, Seth.

"Is Georgina working?" she asked.

Kendall looked up from where she'd been starting to color. In orange crayon, a blank piece of paper read "IRS."

"Yeah, can we see Georgina?" Kendall piped in.

Seth looked pained. "I don't know if she's there or not."

I didn't know either. I didn't know if this was a true or false dream. It felt true so far, but I didn't trust the Oneroi. Being an observer, I had to think I wouldn't be there. Certainly I wouldn't if this were true. I wondered what would happen at the store when I suddenly stopped showing up.

"I can just stay here while you're gone," Brandy said. "Mom doesn't mind if I'm alone."

"Then you can't try on the shoes. Which defeats the whole purpose."

After a carefully worded "discussion," in which Brandy suggested he just bring the shoes to her, she finally conceded. With the whole gang along, they had to take the Mortensen van, which Seth didn't seem overly thrilled about. But there was no other way to transport five girls, one of whom needed a car seat.

The troop arrived at Emerald City. Seth left the four younger ones in the kids' section, which was a wonderland of picture books, puzzles, and stuffed animals. Janice was working that area today and told him she'd keep an eye on the girls. Seth also put Kendall in charge of her sisters, with the bribe that he'd buy her some finance books.

That left him and Brandy to find Maddie, who was holed up in an office. Her face lit up when she saw them, and she practically flew from her seat to give him a quick kiss. Brandy scowled, and a troubled feeling burned within me. The love on Maddie's face was so obvious, so strong...anyone could see it. She made no attempts to hide it, even at work. I hated their relationship, but how could I resent her feelings? How could I resent her loving the man who meant the world to me?

"How's work?" he asked her, smiling fondly. Was that his way of showing love too? How had he looked around me? For some reason, I was certain he'd been different...hadn't he? I couldn't remember.

Maddie gestured to the desk she shared with Doug. "A little crazy. Yet strangely boring. I'm stuck on paperwork all day. Performance reviews."

"Hey, I'm stuck on paperwork every day."

She rolled her eyes. "Bad joke. And not the same at all."

"Try putting some sex and violence into the reviews, and they might go faster."

I was too disturbed by their banter to pay much attention to the fact that Maddie was doing my job. Brandy looked equally pained by the conversation. As Maddie and Seth spoke, I studied him further, trying to read his feelings. Yes, there was affection...yet, it reminded me a little of the warm indulgence he showed his nieces.

At last, Maddie produced a shopping bag full of shoes. Brandy's dress was hanging in the office, and Maddie ordered Seth to leave while his niece changed.

Just before he was shooed out, Maddie remarked to Brandy, "I'm glad this color looks good on you. I decided to do everything purple because of how great it looked on Georgina. I found some awesome flowers that go with it all too."

Oh, fucking fantastic. I had influenced the color scheme for their wedding.

Seth left, and I went with him. He wandered through the store, browsing through books-an activity he never tired of. Several employees said hello to him as they passed by.

Including me.

Seeing as the Oneroi had put me in dreams a couple times now, I shouldn't have been surprised. Except, whenever I was a character in the theatre of these dreams, I'd always had awareness of it. I'd watched me and felt me. Now, I saw myself approach Seth exactly the same way I'd seen Maddie and Brandy approach him. I was still objective. No inner connection. Again, just like watching a movie. I didn't entirely understand it, but nothing the Oneroi did should really shock me anymore.

"Hey," I (she?) said, shelving a couple books. They were copies of The Scarlet Letter, and I'd set them in new releases.

"Hey," said Seth, a weird mix of shyness and familiarity in his manner. "How's it going?"

"Not bad," I said. "Quiet day. Mostly just putting away books."

"You've got Maddie doing reviews."

"Yeah, well, I thought she could handle it. Besides, this dress is new. It'd be a shame to keep it hidden."

My watching self had already noticed the dress because that was second nature to me. It was a great dress but not necessarily one to wear to work. It was a silk sheath that stopped high on the thigh, with straps tying around the neck and a scoop neckline that showed a considerable amount of cleavage. There was no bra anywhere. I looked like I should have been clubbing, not shelving. Seeing as this whole vision was no memory of mine, the dress only furthered the fact that this was one of the lies. I wasn't afraid to tart it up, but even I had boundaries at work.

Seth seemed surprised at the dress but not unappreciative. "You should be hand-selling," he said. "Go outside with a book, and I bet you could push it on anyone."

"This dress might not work on everyone," I pointed out.

He gave me one of those little smiles of his, and I wondered if the other Georgina melted like I did. "The dress is only half of it. You're charming enough to talk anyone into anything."

I gave him a smile in return, one that was both cheery and sly. "Anything?"

The innuendo didn't progress because Kayla suddenly pranced over and wrapped her arms around Seth's legs. He scooped her up and glanced around. "What happened to Kendall? No finance books for bad babysitters."

My alter ego peered over toward the magazines. "Is that her?" I sounded uncertain, which was odd because when Seth turned to see, it was perfectly obvious it was Kendall. She was reading Forbes.

Seth sighed and called her over. She brightened when she saw me. "Hi, Georgina! You're so pretty today."

"Thanks," I said, beaming.

"You were supposed to be in charge," said Seth. "Go get the twins. Hopefully they haven't wandered out into traffic."

Kendall shook her head. "They're playing with puzzles." But she raced off nonetheless.

Kayla was staring around the store in that distracted way children her age had, watching the people and sights. Seth gave her a slight nudge. "What about you? Aren't you going to say hi to Georgina?"

Kayla glanced in the direction he indicated, looked me over, and then continued her survey of the store. It wasn't so much she shunned me or was repulsed by me; it was more like she was disinterested. I didn't stand out to her more than any other patron or even one of the shelves.

"One of her moods," said Seth apologetically.

Brandy surfaced, still annoyed by the shoes, but immensely happy to see me. The rest of the girls were rustled up, and after a bit more chatting, Seth and the nieces left me to my bad shelving. He'd continued holding Kayla in his arms, and she suddenly turned to him in all seriousness.

"When are you going to find Georgina?" she asked. Her voice was small and sweet. She rarely spoke, so I always loved the sound of it when she did.

He frowned, trying to open the van door with one hand. Brandy helped him. "We just saw Georgina," he said. "Inside."

"No, we didn't," said Kayla.

"We did. You snubbed her," he teased. "I told you to say hello."

"That wasn't Georgina. You have to find her."

"What have you been smoking?" Brandy asked, taking over to buckle Kayla into her booster. "That was Georgina."

Seth sighed. "Be careful with your choice of expressions."

The topic dropped after that, but as they drove back to Terry and Andrea's, a chill ran through me. Kayla knew. Kayla knew I was gone. This must be a true dream after all. We'd learned recently that she had the faintest stirring of psychic powers and the ability to perceive some things on the supernatural plane. She had a vague sense of my aura, and she'd realized that it wasn't me in the store. That's why she'd been so disinterested. It was also why I hadn't been inside that Georgina. It wasn't Georgina.

Then who was it?

With a sinking feeling, I immediately answered my own question. Who else would have an interest in looking like me and flirting with Seth?

Simone. Simone was impersonating me in my absence, I was certain of it. Son of a bitch. I couldn't feel her aura in this dream form, and no mortal could, period. Except for Kayla. Fuck. This was not what I needed.

The rest of Seth's day was uneventful, though he thankfully never ran into "me" again. Andrea returned, and it was then I learned she'd been at a doctor's appointment. She thanked Seth for his help, though it took a long time for him to leave, due to all the younger girls' good-byes.

Seth finally returned to his condo and spent the day writing, which was boring for me to watch. I didn't get why the Oneroi hadn't pulled me out yet. Sure, it had been disheartening to see that no mortal knew I was gone, but this dream hadn't had the devastating effects of the others.

Evening fell, and Maddie returned home. Seth, engrossed in his work, stayed at his desk until she found him and spun his chair around. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around him in a way very similar to what I used to do.

He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her as well and returning her hello kiss.

"How was your paperwork?" he asked.

Maddie ran her fingers along the side of his face, that love radiating off of her. "Nonstop. Georgina left it all on me today. I don't know what was up with that."

"She said she thought you could handle it."

Maddie pulled a face. "More like she wanted to take the day off and prance around. Did you see that dress she was wearing? I mean, yeah, she can pull off anything she wants to wear, but that wasn't really work appropriate."

He laughed and pulled her closer. "I think Georgina thinks her wit and charm can let her get away with anything she wants."

"Yeah, well, she's not as funny as she always thinks she is," grumbled Maddie. "And all she got away with today was looking like she was trying to pick up some guy at the store."

"Wouldn't be the first time," said Seth with a shrug.

"What?"

"You didn't know? She sleeps with Warren all the time. Usually in his office."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only were the two of them mocking me, Seth had also told Maddie about my on-again off-again affair with the store's owner Warren. Doug had always had his suspicions, but other than Seth, no one else knew. I had never expected Seth to betray that secret.

"I had no idea," said Maddie. "And yet...I don't know. Maybe I did. I mean, everything she wears is kind of slutty."

"She sleeps around a lot. She'll pretty much go home with anyone." He paused. "She even tried it with me once."

"Really?" Maddie's eyes went wide. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing. I have no interest in that. I couldn't handle being with someone so easy. She'd probably sleep with all my friends while we were dating." He cupped Maddie's face in his hands. "Not that it matters. I have no reason to even go looking, not when I have the best thing right here."

He drew her to him, and they kissed again. It wasn't the earlier hello kiss either. It was deep and ardent, both of them eagerly trying to get as much of the other as they could. His hands gripped hold of the bottom of her tank top and jerked it over her head, revealing a black satin bra I was pretty sure I'd helped her pick out. Never breaking the kiss, his hands then went around her waist as he half-carried, half-stumbled out of the office and into the bedroom. They fell onto the covers, hands moving all over each other's bodies and kisses starting to spread beyond lips.

No, I thought, unsure if the Oneroi could hear me or not. No. I don't want to see this. Take me back. Take me back to the box. Send me to another dream.

But if they were there, they weren't listening. I had no eyes to close. I couldn't look away. There was no way to unsee what I was seeing. I'd experienced a lot of heart-wrenching things in my relationship with Seth, things that had hurt me so badly that I swore I wanted to die. But nothing, nothing could have prepared me for seeing him have sex with another woman. And it wasn't just watching the act itself, the way their naked bodies intertwined with one another and the cries of pleasure elicited in the height of orgasm.

It was the look on his face as he did it. There it was. The love I'd been searching for earlier. I'd thought before he only regarded her with a strong affection, similar to the fond love he had for his nieces. No. This was passion I saw on his face, the kind of love that burned so deeply, it connected two people's souls.

He was looking at her the way he'd once looked at me.

I had never thought it was possible. Somewhere, somehow, I'd been convinced that he loved her in a different way from me. Maybe their love was strong, but I'd felt certain it could never match what he felt for me. Ours was different. Yet, seeing them now, I saw that wasn't true. And when, at the end, he told her she was his world-just as he'd once told me-I knew that I really was nothing special. The love he had for me was gone.

And in the terrible, excruciating pain of that moment, I no longer wanted to die. There was no point because I was certain just then that I had died-because surely, surely, Hell couldn't be worse than this.

Chapter 14.

I was never entirely sure how much of that dream was true and how much was a lie. That it was a mix, I felt certain. I couldn't think of any reason the Oneroi would show me Kayla noticing my absence when no one else did. That had to be true. Yet, I also couldn't imagine Seth and Maddie slandering me so much. I especially couldn't imagine him breaking a confidence. Surely that was a lie...right? And as for the rest of the dream...well, it didn't matter.

The Oneroi offered no answers. And as more and more dreams came to me, the fate they'd foretold began to come true: I could no longer tell what was real and what wasn't. Often, I tried to tell myself that it was all a lie. That was easier than living with the doubt. No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn't shake the feel of truth that some had. So, I was always questioning everything, and it grew maddening after a while. It was made worse by the fact that the Oneroi were always feeding off of those dreams, which consequently sucked up my energy. A succubus needed that energy to function. It gave me the ability to move in the world, to think clearly, to shape-shift. Draining me of it wouldn't kill me-I was still immortal, after all-but it made me useless. Not that it mattered in my prison. I still had the sensation of being crammed inside a box in the dark, and what little awareness of my body I had left was simply showing me pain and weakness. Had I been released, I would have had trouble walking. I would also likely be in my true shape.

Since I was mostly suspended consciousness now, the physical aspects became irrelevant. My mind became the true liability, as both the lack of energy and torture from the dreams began to rip me apart. I was more coherent and analytical during the dreams themselves, but when they ended and the emotions hit me, my rational thought began fracturing. My banter with the Oneroi became primal insults and screams. Most of the time I couldn't think at all. I was just pain and despair. And rage. It seemed impossible, yet underneath the agony that smothered me, a small spark of anger just barely managed to stay alive, fueled every time I saw the Oneroi. I think holding on to that fury was the only thing that kept my shattered mind from completely giving in to insanity.