Stop, Friendly Fire! - Prologue – Quid Pro Quo
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Prologue – Quid Pro Quo

"Now, let's clear things up."

The woman put down the tobacco pipe she had been gently holding in her mouth, puffed out some smoke, and licked her lips. She was a beautiful woman with striking red, wavy hair, but more importantly, she was a goddess.

"So, what you desire is... an immortal body and infinite potential for growth?"

"Yes!"

"Nope, out of the question. Go back where you came from."

"Aw, don't be like that."

A 27-year-old man called Lee Shin-Woo sat opposite the woman with an antique desk between them. He was an ordinary office worker who liked fantasy novels and games. Well, at least until he died.

After death, he’d become a hero chosen by a deity. Or something like that. Probably.

"I heard that I still had a long life ahead of me, yet I died prematurely. Shouldn’t that be fair compensation for my unjust fate?"

"Jeez, novels these days have really spoiled you youngins' backbone. When I gave the spiel about granting second chances in the past, people would usually go 'yippee' or immediately yell, 'Deal!'"

"Well, times have changed," Lee Shin-Woo nodded and replied nonchalantly.

Although the goddess wanted to hit him, she restrained herself. After all, she was the one who had gathered the souls of those who had died unfairly, because she needed their help.

If he were from my world, I would've just...

She was certainly a god, but not one of Earth. Instead, she reigned over Heguroa, which differed in culture, history, size, and every other aspect from Earth.

So what drove her to bring souls from another world to hers? There was a truly sad, tear-jerking story behind it.

"Anyhow, those in your world sure are cold-hearted,” said Lee Shin-Woo. “You, as their god, were gonna get involved and clean up their mess, but they ran the other way because they cared more about their own survival."

"I’ll have you know that a lot of heroes have accepted my revelation! But...they all died in Heita."

Lee Shin-Woo instinctively gulped and asked, "... Is the place that dangerous?"

"Of course it is."

The goddess couldn't hide her bitterness as she gave the confirmation. Then she put the tobacco pipe back into her mouth. She felt like she would've sighed in front of the human otherwise.

The story went back to several decades ago. Heita, a great empire that thrived in the undergrounds of Heguroa, was met with a tragedy. Their emperor, Jissehanu, dreamt of immortality and researched forbidden black magic, but as a consequence of his recklessness... an undead curse befell the entire underground empire.

What was worse, the curse would spread gradually and, if left unchecked, devour the entire world.

The goddess, recognizing the severity of the situation, passed down a divine revelation to all humans and promised that she would grant a wish to the savior of the Empire.

There were many heroic men who came forward, but all of them failed. The curse deeply rooted in the Empire was strong, and the heroes who headed underground in order to save the Empire couldn't overcome the curse. Instead, they degenerated into undead beings themselves and became a part of the undead empire.

Only after that did the goddess exhibit her power more extensively. She scattered and planted her power across the Empire to support the heroes, but it didn't help. The influence of the Empire, which sought to lead all life to undeath, gradually increased, and it ended up devouring half of the continent...

And that was when the goddess, unable to endure any further, decided that she had to stop the Empire even if it meant dragging heroes in from other worlds. Lee Shin-Woo being one of them.

"Still, it’s impossible to grant you an immortal body. Ask for something else."

"Then please give me something similar."

"Listen, kid."

The goddess raised her tobacco pipe and pointed at Lee Shin-Woo's shabby soul.

"Tremendous power burdens the owner. An immortal body? Infinite potential for growth? You won't be able to handle such power, and you'll just explode and die. So drop it and ask for something more realistic and appropriate."

"But with a realistic and appropriate power, I'll probably end up like those before me, dying without being able to do anything."

"..."

That struck a nerve in the goddess. Lee Shin-Woo was practically calling her struggles meaningless in her face. Why should I listen to this nonsense from a mere candidate for a hero? Should I just kill him? The goddess momentarily felt the impulse to do just that, but changed her mind upon seeing the human's defiant expression.

This kid would have to go through hell before he would even understand her a little.

"Alright, I'll grant you your request."

"Yay!"

"Of course, it’s impossible to grant you true immortality. You won't die by ordinary means, but you may still be killed in deadly situations."

"What about infinite potential for growth?"

"That's in your hand, but I'll make it so it's theoretically possible."

"Oh!"

"In exchange." The goddess flicked her tobacco pipe, and ash flew through the air. "You'll lose something very important. After all, your regular physical body can't accommodate that power."

"What exactly do you mean? I'm not going to become impotent or bald, am I?"

"This is the best I can do. Now... Lee Shin-Woo. Are you going to do it or not?"

She didn't answer his question. Under the goddess’s spiteful, cold eyes, Lee Shin-Woo felt momentarily conflicted, but eventually, he nodded and voiced his agreement. Even if he became impotent or bald, he was willing to take the risk!

"Alright, I'll do it!"

"Fine, then we have a contract."

The goddess put the pipe back into her mouth, while Lee Shin-Woo found himself enveloped in a bright light. Transmission magic that would transport his soul to the Heita Empire had been activated.

"You'll be sent to the entrance of the Empire. Once you arrive, I won't be able to help you directly, but I'll send you quests. You know what quests are, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, remember to check your status first upon arrival. It's really important that you know who 'you' are."

"Ok...?"

It seemed as though the goddess was grinning and laughing wickedly when she put the tobacco pipe into her mouth, but he was soon blinded by the bright light washing over him.

In the next moment, the light disappeared, and Lee Shin-Woo fell onto the cold floor. The transfer was done in the blink of an eye.

"Oof! She could have let me down a little more gently... hoo."

Lee Shin-Woo grumbled softly and stood up. He had been dumped into an enormous underground cave, as expected of an underground empire.

There was a passageway on each of his sides, and it felt eerie as if mummies would pop out at any minute from all directions. At least there weren't any enemies nearby.

"I was ready for this, but... this feels really serious... It's cold, too."

He felt cold. Was it because he didn’t have any clothes on? He stroked his skin in order to soothe the cold, but soon realized that something was off.

"Huh?"

His body was hard. The hand that had touched his body was also really hard. When he raised his hand to see what was going on, what he saw were bones rather than a fleshy human hand.

"...Huh?"

Shin-Woo was so shocked that he went stiff for a while. He somehow got a hold of himself, and when he moved his hand, the bones shifted and bobbed instinctively. His five skeletal fingers began to dance rhythmically in the air.

"Hahaha... no way. Haha, this guy."

It was such a surreal sight that he laughed despite himself. For the first time, Lee Shin-Woo looked down and observed his body, which was obviously all bones.

"..."

His mind blanked.

What should I do? Is this by any chance a mistake on the goddess’s part? Did I perhaps fall victim to the Empire's curse as soon as I arrived, and became an undead? Then he remembered what the goddess had said before their sudden parting.

"That's it. Status... She told me to check my status as soon as I arrived."

The moment Shin-Woo said the word ‘status’ in an attempt to grab onto the last strand of hope, a strange row of text emerged mid-air in front of him. It was similar to what he had often seen in games when he was alive. Yeah, even the content of the text...

[Lee Shin-Woo]

[Normal Skeleton Blessed by God]

[Lv - 1][Strength - 13, Agility - 13, Health - 13, Magic - 3]

[Passive skills - Invisible Heart Lv1]

[Active skills - Bone Reinforcement Lv1]

"..."

The wind swept by his smooth (bald) skull, and his empty (impotent) crotch.

It only took around... 10 minutes for Lee Shin-Woo to figure out that this was neither the goddess’s mistake, nor the Empire's curse.