Stephanie Plum - To The Nines - Stephanie Plum - To the Nines Part 6
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Stephanie Plum - To the Nines Part 6

"This is a temporary arrangement," I told Mrs. Morelli and Bella. "I had to leave my apartment for a couple days and Joe was nice enough to let me stay here."

"Hah!" Bella said, "I know your type. You take advantage of my grandson s good nature and the next thing you know, you've seduced him and you're pregnant. I know these things. I see them in my visions."

Jeez. I hoped these visions weren't too graphic. I didn't like the idea of being naked and woman-on-top in Bella's home movies.

"It's not like that," I said. "I'm not going to get pregnant."

I felt Joe move in behind me.

"What's up?" Joe asked his mother and grandmother.

"I had a vision," Bella said. "I knew she was here."

"Lucky me," Joe said. And he ruffled my hair.

"I see babies," Bella said. "Mark my words, this one is pregnant."

"That would be nice," Joe said, "but I don't think so. You're getting your visions confused. Stephanie's sister is pregnant. Right kitchen, wrong pot."

My breath stuck in my chest. Did he say it would be nice if I was pregnant?

When Joe left for work I ran a computer check on McDonald's franchises in the area. I started dialing the numbers that turned up, asking for Howie, and I got a hit on the third McDonalds. Yes, I was told, a guy named Howie worked there. He would be in at ten.

It was early so I packed off in my happy yellow car and I checked in at the office before cutting across town to look for Howie.

"Anything happening?" I asked Connie.

"Vinnie's at the pokey, writing bail. Lula hasn't come in yet."

"Yes she has," Lula said, bustling through the door, big tote bag on her shoulder, take-out coffee in one hand, brown grocery bag in the other. "I had to stop at the store on account of I need special food. There's a new man in my life and I've decided I'm too much woman for him, so I'm losing some weight. I'm gonna turn myself into a supermodel. I'm gonna lose about a hundred pounds.

"It'll be easy because I joined FatBusters last night. I got everything I need to lose weight now. I got a notebook to write in every time I eat something. And I got a FatBusters book that tells me how to do it all. Every single food's got a number assigned to it. All you gotta do is add up those numbers and make sure you don't go over your limit. Like my limit is twenty-nine."

Lula set the bag on the floor, plopped herself down on the couch, and took out a small notepad. "Okay, here I go," she said. "This here's my first entry in my notebook. This here's the beginning of a new way of life."

Connie and I exchanged glances.

"Oh boy," Connie said.

"I know I've tried diets in the past and they haven't worked out, but this is different," Lula said. "This one's realistic. That's what they say in the pamphlet. It's not like that last diet where all I could eat was bananas." She paged through her FatBusters book. "Let's see how I'm doing. No points for coffee."

"Wait a minute," I said. "You never get plain coffee. I bet that's a caramel mochaccino you're drinking. I bet that's at least four points."

Lula narrowed her eyes at me. "It says here coffee's got no points and that's what I'm writing. I'm not getting involved with all that detail bullshit."

"You have anything else for breakfast?" Connie asked.

"I had a egg. Let's see what an egg's gonna cost me. Two points."

I looked over her shoulder at the book. "Did you cook that egg yourself? Or did you get it on one of those fast-food breakfast sandwiches with sausage and cheese?"

"It was on a sausage and cheese sandwich. But I didn't eat it all."

"How much didn't you eat?"

Lula flapped her arms. "Okay, I ate it all."

"That's got to be at least ten points."

"Hunh," Lula said. "Well, I still got a lot of points left for the rest of the day. I got nineteen points left."

"What's in the grocery bag?"

"Vegetables. You don't get any points for vegetables, so you can eat as much as you want."

"I didn't know you were a big vegetable eater," Connie said.

"I like beans when you put them in a pan with some bacon. And I like broccoli. . . except it's got to have cheese sauce on it."

"Bacon and cheese sauce might up your points," Connie said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to wean myself off the bacon and cheese sauce if I want to get to supermodel weight."

"I'm heading out to look for a guy named Howie. Supposedly he and Singh were buddies," I said to Connie. "Anything new come in that I should know about?"

"We got a new skip this morning, but Vinnie doesn't want anyone working on anything other than Singh. Vinnie s in a state over this Singh thing."

"Maybe I should go look for Howie with you," Lula said. "If I stay here I'll file all day and filing makes me hungry. I don't know if I got enough vegetables for a full day of filing."

"Bad idea. Howie works at a fast-food place. You have no willpower when it comes to that stuff."

"No problemo. I'm a changed woman. And anyway, I got my fill of fast food for the day. I had a good fast-food breakfast."

A half hour later, Lula and I parked in the McDonald's lot. Lula had gone through a bunch of celery and was halfway into a bag of carrots.

"This isn't doing much for me," she said, "but I guess you gotta sacrifice if you want to be a supermodel."

"Maybe you should wait in the car."

"Hell no, I'm not missing out on the questioning. This could be an important lead. This Howie guy and Singh are supposed to be friends, right?"

"I don't know if they're friends. I just know Singh tried to find Howie the day before he disappeared."

"Let's do it."

As soon as I was through the door to the restaurant I spotted Howie. He was working a register and he looked to be in his early twenties. He was dark-skinned and slim. Pakistani, maybe. I knew he was Howie because he was wearing a name tag. Howie P.

"Yes?" he asked, smiling. "What will it be?"

I slid a card across to him and introduced myself. "I'm looking for Samuel Singh," I said. "I understand you're friends."

He went immobile for a moment while he held my card. He appeared to be studying it, but I had a suspicion his mind wasn't keeping up with his eyes.

"You are mistaken. I do not know Samuel Singh," he finally said, "but what would you like to order?"

"Actually, I'd just like to talk to you. Perhaps on your next break?"

"That would be my lunchtime at one o'clock. But you must order now. It is a rule."

There was a big guy standing behind me. He was wearing a sleeveless T-shirt, scruffy cutoffs, and mud-clogged grungy boots.

"Gripes, lady," he said. "You think we got all day? Give him your order. I gotta get back to work."

Lula turned and looked at him and he moved to another register. "Hunh," Lula said.

"I must take your order," Howie said.

"Fine. Great. I'll have a cheeseburger, a large fries, a Coke, and an apple pie."

"Maybe some chicken nuggets," Lula said.

"No nuggets," I told Howie. "What about Samuel Singh?"

"First, you must pay me for your food."

I shoved a twenty at him. "Do you know where Singh is?"

"I do not. I am telling you I do not know him. Would you like extra ketchup packets with this cheeseburger? I have extra ketchup packets to give at my discretion."

"Yeah, extra ketchup would be great."

"If it was me, I would have gotten some chicken nuggets," Lula said. "Always good to have nuggets."

"You're not eating this, remember?"

"Well, maybe I could have had a nugget."

I took my bag of food. "You have my card. Call me if you think of anything," I said to Howie. "I'll try to stop back at one."

Howie nodded and smiled. "Yes. Thank you. Have a good day. Thank you for eating at McDonalds."

"He was nice and polite," Lula said when we got back to the car, "but he didn't give us a lot." She looked at the bag of food. "Boy, that smells good. I can smell the fries. Wonder how many points it would cost me to eat a French fry?"

"No one can eat just one French fry."

"I bet supermodels eat just one French fry."

I didn't like the way Lula was looking at the bag. Her eyes were too wide and sort of bugged out of her head. "I'm going to throw this food away," I said. "I got it so I could talk to Howie. We don't really need this food."

"It's a sin to throw food away," Lula said. "There's children starving in Africa. They'd be happy to get this food. God's gonna come get you if you throw that food away."

"First off, we're not in Africa, so I can't give this food to any of those starving kids. Second, neither of us needs this food. So God's just going to have to understand."

"I think you might be blaspheming God."

"I'm not blaspheming God." But just in case, I did a mental genuflect and asked for forgiveness. Guilt and fear remain long after blind belief.

"Give me that food bag," Lula said. "I'm going to save your immortal soul."

"No! Remember the supermodel. Have some carrots."

"I hate those fucking carrots. Give me that bag!"

"Stop it," I said. "You're getting scary."

"I need that burger. I'm outta control."

No shit. I was afraid if I didn't get rid of the bag Lula would squash me like a bug. I eyed the distance between me and the trash receptacle and I was pretty sure I could out-sprint Lula, so I took off at a run.

"Hey!" she yelled. "You come back here." And then she pounded after me.

I reached the trash and shoved the bag in. Lula knocked me out of the way, took the top off the trash receptacle, and retrieved the bag of food.

"This here's good as new," she said, testing a couple French fries." She closed her eyes. "Oh man, they just made these fresh. And they got a lot of salt. I love it when they got a lot of salt."

I took a couple fries from the box. She was right. They were great fries. We finished the fries, Lula broke the cheese burger in half, and we ate the cheeseburger. Then we each ate half of the apple pie.

"Would have been nice to have some nuggets," Lula said.

"You're a nut."

"It's not my fault. That was a bogus diet. I can't go around eating plain-ass vegetables all day. I'll get weak and die."

"Wouldn't want that to happen."

"Hell no," Lula said.

We went back to the car and I called Ranger. "Having any luck?" I asked him.

"I found someone who saw Singh with the dog the day after it disappeared. It looks like Singh ran as opposed to getting himself whacked. And you were right, he took the dog with him."

"Any idea why he might want to disappear?"

"The future mother-in-law would do it for me."

"Anything else?"

"No. Have you got something?"