"I think the more appropriate question is do you trust yourself?" Chris asked.

As anal as Chris was, and no matter how inappropriate his conversation was, the truth was he had a point. I didn't trust myself around Daria. And I didn't trust myself when I wasn't around her. She always seemed to find her way into my thoughts in the middle of the day. Sometimes I wondered what she was doing there and occasionally I could even smell her perfume in my head. It had only been two nights since her beautiful face had last crept into my dreams and already I missed her.

The whole thing was confusing. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. I loved Indigo, missed her smile and longed to hold her in my arms. We sent text messages back and forth all through the day and sent photos of each other with our camera phones. We talked each other to sleep every night and she woke me up every morning with her bright, sunshiny voice. Indigo was the girl of my dreams. Wasn't she?

Hooking Daria up with Derrick should've been easy for me, but it wasn't. I didn't want to. He wasn't good enough for her-not like me. I was a much better choice, and even though I was taken, I didn't want to see her with anyone else. I wanted her to myself. And the truth was she wanted me.

I flipped open my phone and sent her a text.

Hey U. WUP?

U. Daria responded.

What U doin 2nite?

Waitin 4 U to take me to the coffee house.

Now? I asked.

The thought of seeing Daria again made my heart race. Part of me wanted to get to her before Derrick. Although his chances with her were slim to none, I wanted to make sure he never made it to first base. If I had to spend every waking hour with her, just to make sure, then that's what I intended to do.

Yes now, Daria replied.

On my way. I typed the words without hesitation-without rethinking my plans of staying in for the night...studying for my exam.

Before I knew it those plans had changed and I was closing my book. I stood up and headed for my room. I changed shirts, sprayed a little cologne on my neck and brushed my waves. I slipped my Jordans on to my feet and popped a mint into my mouth. As I strolled through the living area and reached for the door, all eyes were on me.

"I'm just gonna step out for a little bit," I explained to the guys.

"Where you going, Marcus?" Paul asked.

"Out for coffee," I said and before anyone could ask another question, I was already shutting the door behind me. I didn't feel like explaining or being judged by anyone. I didn't feel like hearing Chris's mouth about my girlfriend in the ghetto, and I definitely didn't want Derrick tagging along just so he could catch a glimpse at the best-looking girl in Boston. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

Daria looked good in her tangerine-colored top and jeans that hugged every curve of her hips. She gave me a hug, her head resting against my chest. She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in the opposite direction of the "T" station.

"Thought we were going to the coffeehouse," I said.

"I wanna show you something first," she said.

We approached the entrance of a nearby park, her hand holding on to mine tightly. Daria leaned against the trunk of a tree. Before I could think about it, I was leaned against her and our lips were locked instantly. Not like the kiss at the bar, which was more soft and friendly-a brotherly kiss. This one was more of an I-want-you-right-now type of kiss. I wrapped my arms tighter around her small waist; I pulled her closer.

"What am I doing?" I asked myself, not realizing that I'd said it aloud.

"You're kissing me." Daria smiled. "Are you nervous, Marcus?"

"Not really nervous, but..."

"But you're thinking about your girlfriend? Wondering what she would think about you kissing another girl?"

"It's wrong."

"She's not here, and what she doesn't know won't hurt her."

She had a point. Indigo was miles away and unless I told her about kissing Daria, she wouldn't know. Still, I felt guilt in the pit of my stomach; kind of like the feeling I got that time when I failed American History and couldn't think of the words to tell my parents. I knew they'd be disappointed.

Indigo believed in me and trusted me to do the right thing. Just like I trusted her to keep her lips off of another dude, she expected the same thing from me. And here I was betraying her. Suddenly, kissing Daria didn't feel so good.

"I don't want to hurt my girl, Daria. I mean, you're beautiful and interesting...and...you know, you have a lot to offer. But I love my girl."

"I understand, Marcus. But when you think about it, she's so far away. And before long, you'll be going away to college for good. In less than a year, you'll be a freshmen here at Harvard and she'll be...what? Still in high school?" she asked. "Will your relationship with her survive Harvard, Marcus?"

That was a question that I'd never thought about. It was true. I would be leaving Georgia soon...for good-not just for the summer. I'd be a college student soon and Indigo would still be walking the halls of Carver High School, dancing on the school's dance team and doing other things that high school girls did. She would be so far away that I wouldn't see her very often. Not to mention we would have less in common. I wouldn't be able to have intellectual conversations with Indigo-about world history and the state of our economy, like the debates we had in class. She wouldn't understand things like that. Being at Harvard over the summer had me thinking different-about important things like my future and how Indigo wasn't really on my level anymore. She was still a kid. Daria, on the other hand, was more mature-a woman. She understood things and we had more in common. We were both Harvard students who could hold intellectual conversations with each other. It was no secret, I liked her.

"Come here. Let me show you something." Daria grabbed my hand.

I followed her as we climbed a steep hill. At the top, we took seats side by side on the green grass underneath an oak tree that overlooked the entire city. It was a nice view-like something out of a magazine or in a movie. It was one of the views that you wanted to take a picture of and place in a photo album. Daria got closer and grabbed my hand in hers.

"It's nice up here," I said.

"Romantic, huh?"

"I guess you could say that."

We sat there for at least an hour, talking about things. I told her all about Indigo and she talked about the boyfriend that she had left behind before going away to college. She told me about her family and the fact that her parents got divorced the summer before she went away to school. She was still bitter with them about it. I totally understood how she felt because I'd felt the same way when my parents were divorced. It was like my life had stood still.

Daria told me about a guy that she'd gone on a date with in her first year at Harvard. He was aggressive and wanted to have sex with her on the first date. When she said no, he'd grabbed her by the arm and shoved her into the wall. Tried to force himself on her. Luckily she was able to break free and took off running. When she got to her dorm, she told her roommate about what happened but never told anyone else. Never pressed charges. Never even brought it up again until now.

"Why didn't you tell someone in authority?" I asked her. "That was date rape!"

"Well, since he didn't really get that far, I just let it go."

"Does he still go to Harvard?" I asked. "Do you still see him around?"

"Yes," she said and seemed uncomfortable about talking about it all of a sudden. "I see him all the time. Now can we talk about something else?"

"Okay." I said it but didn't really mean it. I wanted to finish our conversation about the date. I wanted to know who he was and confront him about it. I wondered if it was too late to bring charges against him.

"You seem like the perfect gentleman, Marcus. Like you wouldn't hurt a fly." She smiled. "Indigo is a lucky girl."

"Yeah, she is pretty lucky." I laughed. "So let me ask you something...why won't you give my boy, Derrick, some play? He's feeling you."

"He's not my type," she said matter-of-factly.

"What is your type?" I asked.

Before I knew it, her lips were against mine again. I knew I should've pried them away but I couldn't.

"You're my type, Marcus," she whispered.

I knew I needed to get back to reality but I wasn't sure how. I was trapped between what I wanted to do and what I knew to be the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to get up and run back to my dorm as fast as I could. But I was paralyzed. Indigo's face was in my head but Daria was in my arms.

nineteen.

Tameka Sipping on peach-mango-flavored smoothies, we listened to the quiet storm on V-103. As Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" rang through the speakers, six girls pretended they knew the words. It was more of an old-school song and I only knew some of the words because Mommy had played it over and over a million times when I was little. We all danced around the patio as the music rang out across our backyard. It felt as if I'd never left the dance team as I moved my hips and belly to the music.

Asia and Jade stopped and took sips from their smoothies while Indigo and I did the bump. Tymia and my cousin Alyssa giggled as they watched. Alyssa wasn't really much of a dancer; she was an athlete, but she enjoyed hanging out with us anyway. We had talked her parents into letting her stay in Atlanta for a few weeks. They'd left for Florida the day after the Fourth of July holiday and planned on coming back for Alyssa at the end of the month. We were both shocked and excited but didn't ask any questions. We were just glad for the time together. With us living so far apart, it wasn't often that we got to spend time together.

I couldn't wait to introduce her to my friends and just as I suspected, everybody hit it off immediately. Once Alyssa and Tymia discovered that they were both in love with Omarion-this week-they became the best of friends right away. Asia was a little standoffish at first, but that was just her. She did that with everyone until she got to know them. After she warmed up a little, she and Alyssa actually had a discussion about fashion that lasted way too long in my opinion. Indigo and Jade wanted to teach her the latest dance steps even though she wasn't at all interested in learning.

"See what's playing on 95.5 The Beat," Jade suggested. "The quiet storm is kind of lame. I don't know any of those songs. Who the heck is DeBarge anyway?"

"I know who DeBarge is. My mama used to listen to them back in the day," said Alyssa.

"That's my point," Jade added.

I switched stations and Young Jeezy's and Kanye's voices echoed across the dark sky.

"Now that's what I'm talking about right there." Indigo shook her booty to the music and then pulled Tymia out of her lawn chair. "Show me that move that you did in practice the other day."

"This one?" Tymia bounced her shoulders and moved her hips to the music.

"Yeah, that's it...slow it down a little bit so I can get it," Indigo said.

Tymia repeated the move slowly and we all lined up along the patio and tried to mimic it. Before long, we all were moving in unison. Even Alyssa had it. We all spent the next hour showing each other dance moves. The best part about being a teenager was having sleepovers like this one and having all of your friends in one place at one time.

"Are y'all still at it out here?" Mommy slid the glass patio door open and stuck her head out. "Is anybody hungry?"

"No, thank you, Mel," Indigo answered for the group. "We're cool."

"Thanks, Mommy, but we're good," I added.

"Okay, then. I made some quesadillas in case y'all get hungry later. Tameka, they're in the oven and..."

Mommy was interrupted by loud screams as Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" began to play. All of us started shaking to the music as if he was making an appearance in our backyard. Discovering that she'd lost our attention, Mommy quietly shut the patio door and disappeared inside. She knew from past sleepovers that my friends and I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning dancing, singing and talking about everything under the sun. She always made sure that the kitchen was stocked with our favorite drinks and snacks and never complained about the giggles and loud conversations.

After the mosquitoes started to bite, we took our party inside to the family room where we spread blankets on the floor and flipped through the channels. The radio was still playing quietly although we watched television. When UGK's and Outkast's "Walk It Out" song started to play, Jade didn't hesitate to turn up the volume while Tymia and Indigo started to Walk It Out. Asia and Jade couldn't help joining in, and it wasn't long before Alyssa and I started Walking It Out, too. Walking It Out didn't come so easy for me anymore-not with my stomach protruding across the room. Still, I moved to the music. The exercise was good for me and the baby.

Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" rang out across the room, my ringtone. I rushed to grab it, hoping it was Vance. It had been two days since I'd heard from him and I needed to hear his voice. I looked at the screen; it was a number that I didn't recognize but I answered anyway.

"Hello," I said it cautiously.

"Tameka, what's up?"

"Who's this?" I asked.

"It's me, Sean."

"Hey, what's up?" I said. I was disappointed that it wasn't Vance but glad to hear Sean's voice. "Whose number is this?"

"This is my cousin's phone. My battery went dead," he explained. "What you doing?"

"Hanging out with my girls."

"Sounds like y'all are having a party."

"I guess we kinda are," I explained.

"What's the occasion?'

"None. We're just having a sleepover, hanging out...listening to some music, you know, the usual."

"That's cool," he said. "Hey, check this out...I'm going down to Grambling in a few days to hang out with a couple of my friends on campus."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll probably leave on Thursday and come back Sunday. You want me to check some things out while I'm there?"

"Like what?" I was playing dumb. I knew exactly what he wanted to check out.

"I could check up on your boyfriend-make sure he's behaving himself." Sean laughed, but I wasn't laughing. Insecurity had already begun to set in and my trust in Vance was slowly fading away with each passing day. However, I still loved him. And I wanted to believe in him.

"Nah, I'm good," I told Sean.

"Well, if you change your mind, let me know. I got your back," he said.

"I appreciate it. Thanks."

"Well, I'll let you get back to your party. Wish I was there." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"It's just a bunch of giggling girls over here. You would be bored." I smiled and took a seat on the sofa; curled my feet underneath my bottom as I got comfortable.

"I wouldn't be bored if I were with you," he said. "Your beautiful smile would keep me company."

I giggled as if Sean had told a joke. He made me smile for no apparent reason at all and when I finally looked up, every eye in the room was on me. They were all wondering who I was talking to.

"Tell Vance I said hello," Indigo said.

"Indigo said hi," I told Sean...pretended he was Vance.

"Tell her I said what's up." He played along. "Matter of fact, ask her if I can come over."