Gloria had bought a bag of fried fish from the shop in Three Roses. The smell of hot vinegar and solid cholesterol arose from the paper, without the taint of fried rot that normally gave the shop's produce its familiar edge.

"My father says I've got to go home and marry some troll," said Jade. "Hey, if there's any good fish bones in there, I'll have them."

"Have you met him?" said Susan.

"No. But my father says he's got a great big mountain."

"I wouldn't put up with that, if I was you," said Gloria, through a mouthful of fish. "This is is the Century of the Fruitbat, after all. I'd put my foot down right now and say no. Eh, Susan?" the Century of the Fruitbat, after all. I'd put my foot down right now and say no. Eh, Susan?"

"What?" said Susan, who'd been thinking of something else; then, when everything had been repeated, she said, "No. I'd see what he was like first. Perhaps he's quite nice. And then the mountain is a bonus."

"Yes. That's logical. Didn't your dad send you a picture?" said Gloria.

"Oh, yes," said Jade.

"Well...?"

"Um...it had some nice crevasses," said Jade thoughtfully. "And a glacier that my father says is permanent even at midsummer."

Gloria nodded approvingly.

"He sounds a nice boy."

"But I've always liked Crag from the next valley. Father hates him. But he's working very hard and saving up and he's nearly got enough for his own bridge."

Gloria sighed. "Sometimes it's hard to be a woman," she said. She nudged Susan. "Want some fish?"

"I'm not hungry, thanks."

"It's really good. Not stale old stuff like it used to be."

"No, thanks."

Gloria gave her another nudge.

"Want to go and get your own, then?" she said, leering behind her beard.

"Why should I do that?"

"Oh, quite a few girls have gone down there today," said the dwarf. She leaned closer. "It's the new boy working down there," she said. "I'd swear swear he's elvish." he's elvish."

Something inside Susan was plucked and went twang twang.

She stood up.

"So that's that's what he meant! Things that what he meant! Things that haven't happened yet haven't happened yet."

"What? Who?" said Gloria.

"The shop in Three Roses Alley?"

"That's right."

The door to the wizard's house was open. The wizard had put a rocking chair in the doorway and was asleep in the sun.

A raven was perched on his hat. Susan stopped and glared at it.

"And have you got any comment to make?"

"Croak croak," said the raven, and ruffled its feathers.

"Good," said Susan.

She walked on, aware that she was blushing. Behind her a voice said, "Hah!" She ignored it.

There was a blur of movement among the debris in the gutter.

Something hidden by a fish wrapper went: SNH, SNH, SNH.

"Oh yes, very funny," said Susan.

She walked on.

And then broke into a run.

Death smiled and pushed aside the magnifying lens and turned away from the Discworld to find Albert watching him.

JUST CHECKING, he said.

"That's right, Master," said Albert. "I've saddled up Binky."

YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS JUST CHECKING?.

"Right you are, Master."

HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW?.

"Fine, Master."

STILL GOT YOUR BOTTLE?.

Yes, Master." It was on the shelf in Albert's bedroom.

He followed Death out into the stable yard, helped him into the saddle, and passed up the scythe.

AND NOW I MUST BE GOING OUT, said Death.

"That's the ticket, Master."

SO STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT.

"Yes, Master."

Death rode out, but found himself guiding the white horse down the track to the orchard.

He stopped in front of one particular tree, and stared at it for some time. Eventually he said: LOOKS PERFECTLY LOGICAL TO ME ME.

Binky turned obediently away and trotted into the world.

The lands and cities of it lay before him. Blue light flamed along the blade of the scythe.

Death felt attention on him. He looked up at the universe, which was watching him with puzzled interest.

A voice which only he heard said: So you're a rebel, little Death? Against what?

Death thought about it. If there was a snappy answer, he couldn't think of one.

So he ignored it, and rode toward the lives of humanity.

They needed needed him. him.

Somewhere, in some other world far away from the Discworld, someone tentatively picked up a musical instrument that echoed to the rhythm in their soul.

It will never die.

It's here to stay.

*Because of Quantum.

*The question seldom addressed is where where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle. Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarrassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.

*Cabbages.

**Cabbages.

***Anything that ate cabbages and didn't mind not having any friends.

*Until an unfortunate ax incident, Gloria had been captain of the school basketball team. Dwarfs don't have height but they do do have acceleration, and many a visiting team member got a nasty shock when Gloria appeared rising vertically out of the depths. have acceleration, and many a visiting team member got a nasty shock when Gloria appeared rising vertically out of the depths.

*Or methane crystals. Or sea anemones. The principle is the same. In any case, it soon fills up with whatever is the local equivalent of fast-food boxes and derelict lager cans.

*According to rural legend-at least in those areas where pigs are a vital part of the household economy-the Hogfather is a winter myth figure who, on Hogswatchnight, gallops from house to house on a crude sledge drawn by four tusked wild boars to deliver presents of sausages, black puddings, pork scratchings, and ham to all children who have been good. He says Ho Ho Ho a lot. Children who have been bad get a bag full of bloody bones (it's these little details which tell you it's a tale for the little folk). There's a song about him. It begins: You'd Better Watch Out... You'd Better Watch Out...

The Hogfather is said to have originated in the legend of a local king who, one winter's night, happened to be passing, or so he said, the home of three young women and heard them sobbing because they had no food to celebrate the midwinter feast. He took pity on them and threw a packet of sausages through the window.**

**Badly concussing one of them, but here's no point in spoiling a good legend.

*Wizards did not have balls. There was a popular song about it. But they did hold their annual Excuse Me, or free-for-all dance, which was one of the highlights of the Ankh-Morpork social calendar. The Librarian in particular always looked forward to it, and used an amazing amazing amount of hair cream. amount of hair cream.

*Well, except for Unseen University once, but that was just a student prank.

*The smallest room in Unseen University is in fact a broom cupboard on the fourth floor. He really really meant the privy. The Reader had a theory that all the really good books in any building-at least, all the really funny ones**-gravitate to a pile in the privy but no one ever has time to read all of them, meant the privy. The Reader had a theory that all the really good books in any building-at least, all the really funny ones**-gravitate to a pile in the privy but no one ever has time to read all of them, or even knows how they came to be there or even knows how they came to be there. His research was causing extreme constipation and a queue outside the door every morning.

**The ones with cartoons about cows and dogs. And captions like: "As soon as he saw the duck, Elmer knew it was going to be a bad day."

*And didn't appear to do anything to the enemy at all at all.

**He was a wizard. Tricks shots for a wizard aren't the old three-times-round-the-table jobs. His best one was once off the cushion, once off a sea gull, once off the back of the head of the Bursar, who'd been walking along the corridor outside last Tuesday last Tuesday (a bit a temporal spin there), and a tricky rebound off the ceiling. He'd missed sinking the actual shot by a whisker, but it had been pretty tricky, even so. (a bit a temporal spin there), and a tricky rebound off the ceiling. He'd missed sinking the actual shot by a whisker, but it had been pretty tricky, even so.