"We haven't just been watching TV actually," Sophie said resentfully. "We've been to the park twice, the corner shop, Grandma Stiles's, and we sat in the car with the doors open and played CDs for a couple of hours."

"Izzy too?" Tess asked, genuinely impressed.

"Yes," Sophie said with more than a hint of pride. "Next time we're shutting Phoebe's doors, and the time after that I might turn the engine on. We'll be on road trips before you know it."

"Phoebe?" Tess inquired.

"Yes, Phoebe-that's the car's name," Sophie said a little sheepishly.

"That's a really good idea," Tess told her with naked astonishment.

"Thanks for your unwavering belief," Sophie said wryly, neglecting to mention she got the idea out of the dog book. "And they really like shopping, so we've done quite a lot of shopping. I rebought all of my maketup, so Izzy owes me all her pocket money for the rest of her life, and we found them some really cute shoes, bought me some ugly sensible ones and some more jeans, and-we even went to the supermarket."

"And I bet it was better than last time, right?" Tess said.

"No, it was a god-awful nightmare, but you see," Sophie explained seriously, "at least this time I knew what to expect, so it wasn't so bad. I think I'm building up a resistance to the horror. It's sort of like when you become an alcoholic and after a while it doesn't matter how much vodka you drink it doesn't make you drunk anymore?" Tess decided to leave that part out of her next report. "All in all," Sophie concluded. "We've had a pretty good time."

"That's really great," Tess said. "But listen, we have to give the man every chance to do the right thing. I mean, that was big news you gave him. He might have needed a day or two to come to terms with it."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Oh, what, like I got, you mean?" she said sulkily.

"You weren't married to Carrie," Tess admonished her.

"No, and neither was he for very long!" Sophie said. Just at that moment the doorbell vibrated through the flat with its insistent electronic rattle.

"It's the door, it's the door, it's the door, IT'S THE DOOR!" Izzy's cries grew louder as she made her way from one side of the flat to the other.

"Oh, shit," Sophie said. "I've gotta go. Izzy, don't open the flat door!" The sound of the flat door banging hard into the hall wall echoed in Tess's ears. "Izzy, don't you dare open the front door!" Tess heard Sophie call out.

"If it's him, ring me," Tess said. But she realized she was talking to a dial tone.

"Oh, it's you," Izzy said, looking up at Cal. Sophie arrived 0.01 seconds after Izzy had opened the main front door, streaking past Bella, who stalked into the bedroom and shut the door firmly behind her.

"What did I say about opening the front door?" Sophie asked Izzy, ignoring Cal for a moment.

"You said don't open the front door," Izzy replied, looking up at her sweetly.

"And what have you just done?" Sophie asked.

Izzy gave Sophie a look that implied she thought Sophie was a bit of an idiot. "I opened the front door!" she said slowly and carefully, because it was obvious.

"But I said not to!" Sophie said, raising her voice a little and stamping her foot a little bit.

"I know!" Izzy said. "But it's not him anyway, it's just him." And she flopped facedown on the doormat and lay there perfectly still in mercifully silent protest. Sophie, who had become used to this particular maneuver, had stopped worrying that Izzy was suffering from blackouts and looked up at Cal.

"Aren't you supposed to be individually testing thirty-eight thousand fairy lights for the Madison party?" she asked with a tight smile.

"Couldn't be arsed," Cal said drily. He looked down at Izzy. "I have to say, Izzy, I thought you'd be more pleased to see a man with an Animal Park play set."

Izzy did not move.

"Animal Park doesn't match up to her daddy," Sophie told Cal, worrying about how much the three-year-old had invested in the appearance of her father. She had thought Izzy might just forget about it after it was mentioned. But she didn't; the arrival of Louis seemed to be the subject of her every thought and question. "But why are you here, Cal? You really should be at the ship, you know-marching about with your clipboard giving all the workmen a hard time!"

Cal looked skeptical. "I've already done that," he said. "Even though it's not in my job description. I need you to check some final details with me and sign off some invoices. I'm not authorized."

Sophie nodded. "Come on then, Iz," she said. "Upsadaisy."

"I wanted it to be the daddy man, not the flowery smelling man!" Izzy wailed. Sophie scooped her up, flung her over one shoulder, and began staggering up the stairs.

"I feel strangely rejected," Cal mused as, back in the living room, Sophie deposited Izzy on the armchair and looked at her. She wasn't really crying; it was this other type of crying she did-a sort of dry, repetitive whining, usually when there was a remote danger that she might not be the center of the universe for five seconds.

"How about you take a chocolate biscuit to Bella to cheer her up?" Sophie suggested.

Izzy's face instantly transformed into a radiant smile. "And me as well?" she said. "Can I take me one too?"

Sophie nodded and handed Izzy two cookies. "Go on then, and don't eat Bella's on the way!" Izzy giggled and ran out of the room. Sophie looked at the packet of chocolate biscuits and then at Cal. She took one out and put it entirely in her mouth.

"So what's the problem?" she asked him through a haze of crumbs.

"Oh, if only Jake could see you now," Cal said, observing her with some distaste. "If you had a sex life, you know, you wouldn't be bulimic. Anyway, there are no problems. I just wanted to check a few details with you, like you have confirmed the menus with the caterers..."

"Check," Sophie said breezily.

"You have okayed the pyrotechnics with Health and Safety chaps."

"Check," Sophie said, as if there would be anything that she, the queen of perfection, would overlook.

"You have arranged a babysitter that won't send the girls into hysterics?"

"Che---Oh, fuck," Sophie cursed and took another biscuit from the packet.

"I knew it," Cal said. "Well, you have to be there. All the big cheeses will be there, including Gillian. The Madison do is possibly the biggest party McCarthy Hughes has ever thrown this side of the Atlantic. It's going to be fabulous, and you'll be there in the spotlight, everybody looking at you and thinking how wonderful you are."

"I know!" Sophie wailed. "But the girls don't like anyone but you. Will you do it?"

"I'm not doing it," he said. "I've worked my butt off for this party. I'm going to be there to enjoy it."

Sophie nodded. Cal was right. Besides, he was the master at making sure people were mixing and at troubleshooting any incipient problems. After all the help he had given her, he was the one who deserved the credit most of all.

"Right," she said.

"So...?" Cal waited.

"Well, I mean, that's it, isn't it? I can't go," she said, nodding in the general direction of the bedroom. "I can't take those two to a grown-up party. There are too many choking hazards for one thing. Plus, practically everything is flammable. Imagine the insurance costs if we sank it!"

"There's got to be someone," Cal said, thinking furiously. "Someone that they know you won't leave them with forever. Someone strange enough for them to feel at home with-"

"Thanks," Sophie said.

Cal clicked his fingers. "How about their grandma?" he suggested.

"Nope, she'd never get up those stairs," Sophie said.

"No, their other grandma-your mum, I mean," Cal added, as if it were obvious.

"Well, technically, she's not their grandma, but..." Sophie considered the prospect of her mum in charge of Bella and Izzy for a couple of hours. She had not heard from her mother since the night she had come around with the dog book, not unless you counted one phone message, which consisted entirely of yapping dogs, and that was probably more to do with Scooby messing with the speed-dial button than her mum trying to call her. Anybody else's mother would have been here helping out, taking an interest, interfering at the very least. Still, it did seem like her mum was the last-no, only-resort.

"Would they like her, do you think?" Sophie asked him.

"They'll love her. She's bonkers," Cal said. "Plus, she can come here and they'll feel safe."

"What the hell?" Sophie said, picking up the phone and dialing her mum's number.

After the usual dog-related pauses, her mother came to the phone. "Hello?" she said.

"Mum, it's me," Sophie told her. "Listen, I've got a favor to ask you, and I really need you to do this for me, no arguments."

Sophie kissed Izzy and then Bella on the tops of their heads.

"Those pajamas are fab," she told them. "Total princess jammies."

Izzy giggled. "You look like a real princess," she said. "All sparkly and lovely, and you don't smell. I quite love you when you look nice, actually."

Sophie glanced down at herself. Thanks to her mum's early arrival, she hadn't scrubbed up too badly. She'd even managed to shave her legs and wax her top lip, as well as shower and wash her hair. She hadn't had time to straighten it, though, so it just sort of wafted about, like a cloud of gold as Bella had poetically put it. More like a flyaway mass of static, Sophie thought, but she preferred Bella's description.

"It's not bad, this dress, is it?" she said, delighted that after mountains of chips it still fitted her.

"You do look pretty," Bella said solemnly. "But you are coming back, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Sophie exclaimed, crouching down with some difficulty in her heels. "Now you two be good for my mum, okay? Go to bed and go to sleep, and I'll see you when I get in."

"You'll definitely come in our room and see us, won't you?" Bella insisted.

"Yes, I definitely will," Sophie said. She stood up, using Izzy's head to steady herself. "Right, I'll be off then."

Sophie walked down the steps to the street door with her mum. "Now you know what to do, don't you?" she asked her.

"Yes." Iris nodded. "Watch telly and get drunk."

"Mum!" Sophie protested. "I'm serious!"

"So am I, darling. Okay, don't let them play with matches, don't give them any sharp objects, and don't let them run under a bus," Iris recited the list of concerns that Sophie had given her verbatim, although she considered most of them unlikely since both the girls were going to be asleep. "Look, you've been doing this for a little over three weeks. I've been doing it for thirty-five years-"

"Mum, I'm twenty-nine!" Sophie said, appalled. "And I'm not joking about the bus thing. The latch on the door downstairs is, well, dodgy-"

"They'll be fine. I've got your cell phone number. I'm just glad you asked me to help you at last."

"What do you mean? I was waiting for you to offer to help me!" Sophie exclaimed.

"Oh no, dear," her mother said mildly. "I learned a long time ago never to offer to help you. It just annoys you, because you usually know best. I've been waiting years for you to need me for anything. Now, off you go and have a good time." Iris gave Sophie a look of approval, and Sophie smiled warmly at her mum.

"You've really helped me out here, you know," she said.

"I knew I was good for something," he mother told her. "And you look lovely. I'm sure you could get a boyfriend if you tried."

"Yes, but do I want one?" Sophie mumbled as her taxi pulled up, thinking of Jake waiting for her aboard the ship.

Fifteen.

It looks incredible, doesn't it?" Cal said with quiet pride in the party he had contributed so much to as he leaned next to Sophie looking over the golden balustrade that encircled the ballroom. "Exactly like Titanic, the movie."

Sophie nodded and sipped her martini. "Yes, it does," she said. "But hopefully without all the sinking and drowning and Celine Dion."

Cal gave her a disapproving look. "Don't diss Dion," he told her. "She gives me hope that somewhere out there I might one day find my very own Leonardo to float about on a piece of wood with and then watch freeze to death."

Sophie looked surprised. "Really?" she said. "One day you want to get that committed to someone?"

Cal thought about the prospect for a moment and then shrugged. "No," he said. "Probably not. At least not with any of that lot down there." He sighed and flicked his imaginary hair out of his eyes. "I don't know. Why are all the sexy men either married or straight?" he asked woefully.

Sophie looked bemused. "You are joking, aren't you?" she said, looking at the motley crew of suited doppelgngers dancing like their dads below.

"Of course I'm joking," Cal said. "God, considering you're my boss, you're pretty dim sometimes." Sophie watched a parade of waitstaff emerge from the kitchen in perfect unison with tray after tray of canapes and spread out among the ravenous crowd. It was sort of like watching feeding time in an incredibly well-dressed tank of piranhas.

"Actually, Cal, I've been thinking about that today," Sophie began. "You know when you came around this morning, I had this sort of revelation..."

Cal finished his martini and looked at the empty glass regretfully. "Oh, God, not another lipstick lesbian-it's like a plague!" he said. "Still, I always suspected."

Sophie ignored him. "I was thinking that you've more or less organized this party by yourself and, well, I wondered why it was you never pushed me to promote you. I mean, you've been my PA for years-a brilliant one. You've never asked to have a shot at organizing your own event when the chance is thrust upon you, and yet, well, Cal, you're brilliant at it."

"I know," he said. Sophie looked at him. "Look, I like working for you, my salary goes up every year and I get a good bonus. My job is seriously easy, and I'm only twenty-five. I like coming into work at nine, swanning around until five, and then going out to blow my wages. It does get to be a bit of a drag when your boss's dead best friend's kids turn up and then suddenly that bit in your contract about performing extra hours as and when necessary becomes all too real. But, well, don't let this go to your head-but you're a good boss."

Sophie glowed with pleasure. She'd always thought she was.

"Cal, I want to promote you," she said.

"Oh, God," he said. It wasn't quite the grateful reaction that Sophie had been expecting.

"It's just that I realized today exactly what it is you do. You're right, you do much, much more than your job description."

Cal rolled his eyes. "I could have told you that," he said.