My hunger satisfied, though, I walked on down the shopping mall. I went into a clothes shop and swung from a rail of T-s.h.i.+rts, pulling them onto the floor.

OUT!' shouted the shop a.s.sistant, and she ran at me clapping her hands. You're wrecking the place, you shouldn't be in here, you crazy cat.'

Miffed, I walked on with my tail waving elegantly, and into the shop next door, which was full of televisions. And there I had the shock of my life.

I was on television . . . well, on a whole shop full of televisions in different sizes. I sat down in front of a big one that made me look like an enormous fluffy tiger on Linda's shoulder.

The baby was discovered by this woman, Linda Evans, who was walking her dog.' Now the picture was of a reporter lady sitting on a red sofa.

Then I sat up even straighter. There was the tiny baby, Rocky, in the arms of a nurse. He'd got a little white hat on and a blanket wrapped round him, but I could see the mole on his cheek and the glint of astonishment in his turquoise eyes. It was definitely him. My baby. My Rocky.

I went up to the screen, to touch noses with him, patted it and jumped back, not liking the crackle of static through my fur. I couldn't stop looking at Rocky and wherever I looked, he was there on every screen, and people were walking past the shop, ignoring him.

We are hoping his mother will come forward,' the nurse was saying. She may need medical help, and Rocky needs his mum. He's a dear little chap.'

Then they showed me again! and the policeman who'd tried to hold me, and he was saying, If anyone sees this cat or knows where it lives, please get in touch with us. There could be a connection.'

I knew who Rocky's mother was. TammyLee. How could a cat give that information? But even if I'd been able to talk, I wouldn't have told. It was a secret I shared only with TammyLee. We had been drawn to each other, I had felt her sadness, and she had called me magic puss cat'. TammyLee and I were soul mates.

I had to find her. The time had come for me to grow up, stop playing, and work. I'd search to the ends of the earth for TammyLee.

But just as I was making this momentous decision, a man's voice shouted, THAT'S THE CAT!' An agile young man, who'd spotted me watching myself on TV bounded to the shop doors and slammed them shut.

And I was a prisoner. Again.

Chapter Four.

A HOT CAR.

I searched the shop for an escape route, but there wasn't one.

You stand there, Dave,' the manager called to his mate.

Both wore smart white s.h.i.+rts, like tuxedo cats, black trousers and s.h.i.+ny shoes. Obviously, they weren't used to cats, it made me nervous, but my angel's voice rang in my aura, keeping me calm and still. Self-control was something I needed to work on. It was hard. My instinct was buzzing like a bee, telling me to run wild in the shop and not be caught.

Get it some milk from the back, Kyle,' said Dave. Shut it in the kitchen and we'll call the cops. Bit of free publicity, eh?'

There was no way out. A quick look around the walls and ceiling told me that. So I had to be pragmatic and trust these two young men, Dave and Kyle. I could see that Kyle had a fiery intelligence as he warily approached me, so I was polite, standing up and putting my tail up. A silent meow and eye contact had him transfixed in seconds. Gingerly, he picked me up, and airlifted me into the kitchen, kicking the door shut.

Got him!' he shouted. You can open the shop now, Dave.'

Why did everyone think I was male?

Kyle stood with his back to the kitchen door, brus.h.i.+ng my fluff from his black trousers and watching me lapping the milk he had given me. I'd hardly got room for it after my street-cafe breakfast. I was fine until the police turned up with a cat cage. Then I panicked in the small kitchen and squeezed myself behind the fridge.

Come on, darling. It's all right. We're only going to scan you and take you home. Come on, my lovely.'

I didn't like it behind the fridge, so eventually, the policewoman's honeyed tones coaxed me out and into the cage where she'd hidden some cat treats and, hey, a catnip mouse. She kept talking to me kindly.

Bad memories of being a tiny kitten in one of those cages haunted me, so I kept still and quiet as I was carried into a police car and driven away with the blue light flas.h.i.+ng. I thought about the friends I had made. The couple who had fed me at the street cafe, the lady who'd let me sit in the pansy pot, the young man who'd risked his life to get me off the road. In my search for TammyLee, I planned to return to that shopping mall, and see my new friends. A cat who is alone and searching needs the support of friends.

It turned out that I had got a microchip', and the police took me home to Gretel, even though I didn't want to go.

Since the Christmas tree disaster, Gretel had changed her mind and decided she did want to keep me. She still shut me in the shed, usually with the window open to give me access to the garden. I used those times of freedom to roam the streets looking for TammyLee. I sat on the wall and waited for her to walk past, but she never did. I followed groups of children to school and sat watching the playground, but TammyLee was never there, and no one spoke her name. She seemed to have vanished.

Living with Gretel wasn't working. I tried to love her, but it wasn't easy. She loved me only when I was good and boring, not when I ran up the curtains or swung from the birch tree in the garden, or caught the orange fish from the lily pond. But she did teach me stuff that turned out to be useful, like going in the car. Instead of shutting me in the shed, she took to putting me in the car and taking me with her. At first I was petrified. But I soon got used to it. The car was warm and comfortable, and Gretel had set it up with a wire grill to stop me going into the front while she was driving, a cosy cat igloo where I could hide, and even some toys for me to play with. She talked to me a lot while we were going along, and sang me songs and played the radio. The trips were interesting. I learned to recognise places. Corners and buildings and parks. Even the shopping mall and the river bridge where TammyLee had stood with baby Rocky. I glimpsed the elder tree where I'd spent the night guarding him, and I sensed the wild country beyond the town, which I longed to explore.

So I became a car cat. I quite enjoyed it. Until one terrible day that changed my life.

It was a summer day, many weeks after I'd found the abandoned baby. The weather was so hot that it hurt my paws to walk on the patio. I was rolling on my back on the lawn, enjoying the sun on my belly and dabbing at pa.s.sing flies.

Come on, Fuzzball.' Gretel appeared in a flimsy blue dress, twiddling her car keys. We'll go to the supermarket. At least they've got air conditioning in there.'

If I'd known what was going to happen, I'd never have let her pick me up, tuck me under her arm and put me in the car. It was hot in there, but she drove along with the window open. Lovely, except for the smell of a crowded town, the exhaust fumes, lawns being mown, the bakeries and the pubs. Far away was the briny tang of the river and the heather-covered moorland beyond the town, a scent on the wind that stirred a deep ancestral longing in me. Being a domestic cat was OK, but I had a wild streak in me that wasn't satisfied with fluffy cat beds and cat-nip mice.

There was a bad atmosphere in town. A sense of something simmering, about to erupt. People looked knocked out by the heat. Children were crying and dogs were being dragged along on leads on the hot pavements.

I'll bring you an ice cream,' said Gretel, turning into the supermarket car park. She found a parking s.p.a.ce, shut the windows and got out. I won't be long, Fuzzball.'

I sighed and settled down for a snooze. Used to being left in the car, I curled up, wrapped my tail around myself and closed my eyes.

Within minutes I was too hot. It wasn't like lying by the fire and having to move away from the heat. I was trapped in it, and suddenly I couldn't breathe. Alarmed, I climbed up onto the back of the seats, but it was worse up there near the roof of the car. Outside, the car roofs s.h.i.+mmered in the heat, dazzling me. I wanted to shut my eyes, but I was frightened. I clawed at the window, hoping to open it and get some air. It was so hot I had to breathe with my mouth open like a dog.

I longed for water but Gretel hadn't left me any. Desperately, I licked a few drops of condensation from the window gla.s.s, then worked my way round each of the windows, licking what moisture I could find, and all the time getting hotter and hotter.

There was no way of cooling myself down. I tore at my thick fur, trying to get some air on my skin, but nothing worked. I dug and scrabbled at the floor of the car, trying to find a hole or a crack I could make bigger with my teeth and claws. Soon my feet were burning, my claw sheaths sore, and my throat so dry. I was being dried up, cooked alive in that oven of a car.

Where was my angel? Where was she?

I listened. I kept still and called her name in my heart. The Angel of Secrets. Angel of Secrets. Angel . . . I was giddy now, and her voice came to me from far away. My body was collapsing and I just lay there panting. All I could hear was the alarming echo of my heartbeat, the rasp of my breath, and the distant whisper of her voice, repeating over and over again, Don't give up. Don't give up. Meow and someone will come. Meow. You must meow.'

I fought to stay awake, but I was losing consciousness, sinking into a boiling black darkness. I did meow, and it was loud, and painful. Yet my body seemed to take over and meow by itself, draining my last dregs of energy, calling, calling for help.

As I finally lost consciousness, I saw a face looking through the gla.s.s at me, and it wasn't Gretel.

I drifted through the dark, and reached the sh.o.r.eline of the spirit world. A high fence of the brightest gold sent out beams of light spangled with pinpoints of intense colour. I sat before it and gazed through into the world I had loved so much, the spirit world where I was the Queen of Cats. Telepathically, I begged for the golden fence to open and let me through, let me go home, let me leave this body of pain lying in the hot car.

The voices I heard were muddled.

Come back, Queen of Cats. You still have work to do.' That was my angel, and from beyond the golden fence I could hear purring. Loud, vibrational purring from the s.h.i.+ning cats who had purred with me in the spirit world. They weren't welcoming me, but sending me back, floating on a carpet of purring.

I drifted back to the sound of human voices around the car. Someone saying, That poor cat in there!' and We have to get it out. NOW!'

My world exploded with a bang. A storm of broken gla.s.s scattered over me, into my fur and all over the car. Dazed, I saw the emerald green of the broken pieces. The air rushed in, and a pair of long arms reached through the hole in the window. I felt my limp body being lifted out.

I've got him.'

He's dead, isn't he?'

Not quite. And it's a she cat. She's beautiful.'

Someone ran with me to the shade of a big plane tree and laid me on a bench. I felt the slats of wood under me, and the deliciously cool canopy of the great tree. But I couldn't move. My breathing was laboured, my eyes wouldn't shut, and I was salivating.

There's no time to get her to a vet.'

Water. Get some water from the shopping bag.'

I heard running feet again, then the rustle of plastic and the soft pop of a bottle being opened. I hate water, but they were pouring it over me! It trickled round my neck, into my fur, along my back, over my parched face. I licked the drops and felt the healing cool of it soaking my hot body.

Frozen peas,' said the voice. Bottom of the bag.'

More rustling, and something achingly cold and k.n.o.bbly was put close to my back. My breathing eased a bit. I was coming alive again, coming back from my trip to the sh.o.r.elines of the spirit world, reclaiming my beautiful silver tabby and white body.

She's still breathing.'

Come on, darling it's all right.'

Didn't I know that voice? I focused my eyes and saw the lovely policewoman who had coaxed me into the cat cage and taken me home that day. I was glad, and disappointed too. I'd hoped it might be TammyLee.

My eyes were burning and they wouldn't shut. I tried to sit up, but my legs wouldn't move. Yet I knew I wasn't dying. I'd come back into my beautiful cat body, my long silver tabby fur, my white socks and pink paws, my lovely tail. But none of it would move. I could feel it twitching, but I'd somehow lost control. It was scary. How could I play and live my life? I didn't want to be useless and immobile. I felt terribly afraid.

I wanted peace, and recovery time.

But it wasn't peaceful.

A crowd had gathered, looking at me as I lay on the bench, still gasping for breath and twitching. A row was breaking out. I heard Gretel's shriek of a voice and she was part of the row.

My car,' she cried. It's been broken into.'

Never mind your car,' a man was shouting at Gretel. Is this your cat? Look at the state it's in!'

I felt the old familiar shockwaves coming from Gretel as she saw me there on the bench, and I couldn't get up. I couldn't put my tail up and run to rea.s.sure her. She was under attack. People were shouting at her furiously.

How could you leave a cat shut in a car in this heat?'

Haven't you got any more sense?'

Don't you CARE about your lovely cat?'

Gretel was crying and crying. Is she going to die? I didn't know. I didn't mean to.'

No one was being kind to Gretel. The shouting got even louder.

I'm reporting you to the RSPCA, and you'll never keep an animal again. You CRUEL woman.'

But is she dying?' Gretel kept asking. I'll take her to the vet's.'

You won't. It's too late for that. If we hadn't been here, she'd be dead right now. Poor, poor cat. She's suffered so much.' Now the other person was crying, and I lay there, shuddering in the middle of it.

I'll see that you pay for this. That cat will be taken away from you. You've no business keeping an animal.'

It's disgusting.'

But I do love her. She's called . . .'

Gretel didn't get the chance to say Fuzzball, and I was grateful for that. The lovely policewoman with the blonde ponytail intervened.

Please calm down,' she kept saying firmly. The cat needs some quiet. Please!'

I felt Gretel slump down on the bench beside me, and she touched my wet fur gently. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry,' she wept, and I wanted to tell her it was OK, I'd forgiven her, but I couldn't even lift my head to look at her. I knew I'd never see her again, and I wanted to say thank you to her for giving me a home and a fluffy cat bed, and all that food. The toys and the quiet evenings on her lap by the fire. I wished those people would stop attacking her.

Here's the animal ambulance. Move back please,' said the lovely policewoman, and I heard people shuffling back as a vehicle drove up. After that it went quiet and I heard the soft pattering of the plane-tree leaves above me.

The voices became murmurs and I was picked up and carried, my tail and legs floppy, into a silent and beautifully cool van with a blissfully soft bed inside. A kind man with a bright light around him sat beside me and kept trying to put my head inside a weird-looking cup of clear plastic.

Come on, sweetheart. Come on, breathe. It's oxygen. Come on, try it. It's good stuff.'

He didn't hurt me, but held my head firmly, and I picked up on his thoughts. He wanted me to breathe a special kind of air that was inside the cup. I tried it, and it was cool and sweet. I couldn't get enough of it. This clear, pure, mysterious air he called oxygen was filling my body with the fizz of new life.

I was alive, but I still couldn't move. I took a last look at Gretel's tear-stained face looking in at me as they closed the doors. I felt the van driving away, with me in it, lying there, a useless dysfunctional wreck of a cat.

What would become of me now?

Chapter Five.

AN ANIMAL HEALER.