"Bye," I said but couldn't take a step to go. "Caleb."

He glanced at me.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "It'll get easier, I promise. Maggie, I want you to go inside and get some sleep. Don't worry about anything. I'll see in the morning, I promise. And I can't wait."

Then somehow I turned and made it to the steps, albeit wobbling and stumbling in my stupor. It was actually painful to watch him mount the bike and drive away. My gut twisted and pulled as I closed the door and leaned my back against it. My feet tingled and begged to take off running after him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, smiling and remembered his words to me about seeing me in the morning.

I pushed off the door and stepped into the foyer and saw my dad, sitting at the kitchen table.

"Did you have a good time?"

I was flabbergasted. What was up with him?

"Uh, yeah. Sure, dad."

"Not too good I hope."

"Dad. Eew," I said as I poured myself a gla.s.s of water.

"I'm still your father, Maggie. You may not like it but you are not an adult yet. I want you to be careful with that boy. And I don't remember you getting permission to ride on a motorcycle."

"I didn't think I needed permission. He had a helmet and jacket for me. He's very responsible."

"I'm sure, but that's not the point."

"What is the point, dad?"

"That you're seventeen and still live under my roof. You can't just do whatever you want to do."

"I'm not. I told you I was going out and you said it was fine."

He grunted and ran both his hands through his hair.

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"What are you talking about?" I asked exasperated.

"Look, I-" He choked on his words.

Like really choked up. His head bowed and he sniffed. I saw his shoulders shake. His hand came up to swipe his face and I couldn't take it anymore. I walked swiftly to him and knelt down in front of him.

"Aw, dad. What is it?"

"Maggie. I am so sorry."

"What for, dad?"

He looked at me closely.

"I did everything I could for your mother. She was everything to me. And then you came along and you were everything too. My girls. Then your mom left for no reason, out of the blue and took everything with her. She was spiteful and hateful. She didn't care what happened to you or me and I couldn't handle it. I loved her with everything I had and she gave me no reason, no real reason, for leaving. Just that I held her back. I don't know what I did to her and I know that I've been a horrible person, let alone father, to you lately. I was bitter and nasty. I know you've been angry with me- for good reason. You just look so much like her and are so independent, I just a.s.sumed you didn't need me or didn't want me like she didn't." He took my face in his hands, the first time he's touched me at all in almost a year and I saw another tear roll down his chin. "But I love you so much. It took me seeing you walking out that door with someone who could actually take you away for me to remember that. I'm so sorry, Maggie."

He hugged me to him tightly, crushed me to him really. My body was rebelling. It wanted to remind me of all the things he had said to me. All the things he needed to have done or said and didn't. He let his grief over my mom ruin his life and I let my grief for him ruin mine.

I felt utterly at his mercy. My heart ached with wanting. I wanted him to be telling the truth so badly that it hurt. I needed him, as much as I took care of myself, I still needed my dad.

"Maggie, please forgive me. I know you're about to turn eighteen and you'll probably be leaving home soon. I can't live with knowing how I've hurt you without trying to fix it."

He sniffed again and pulled back to look at me.

"Dad, I understand. I do. I know it sucked for us both when mom left but you more than me. She was my mom but your wife. It's different, I know that. But I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. I'm so sorry." He hugged me to him. "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, daddy."

"I have an idea. Why don't we go to the boathouse? I'm sure that old place is still available. We can just spend some time away, you and me?"

Before I could balk at his idea- for he knew nothing of my predicament with Caleb- the doorbell rang.

I went to answer it and peeked out the peephole.

Caleb. And he looked nervous.

I opened the door. He sighed with relief and pulled me to him.

"Oh, thank G.o.d. You heart was going nuts and I could feel you were upset. I thought something was wrong." He pulled back to look at me and wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn't even realize I'd been crying. "You are upset. What's wrong? What happened?"

"My dad and I were just...patching things up, I guess."

I heard my dad coming and pulled from Caleb's grasp, painful as it was.

"Maggie, it's midnight. Who in the world could it...be?" Dad stopped in the doorway and stared with a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. "Caleb. It's kinda late, son."

"Yes, sir. I uh...just needed to check on something."

"What's that?"

"Dad," I interrupted. "Caleb forgot to tell me what time he was coming tomorrow. He wanted to make sure it wasn't too early."

"Well, Caleb. I think," he put his arm around me, "Maggie and I decided to head up to the lake for a couple weeks. So, she might not see you for a while."

Just saying the words letting alone thinking about it sent my body is a panic. I gasp and let out a little cry of distress to my embarra.s.sment but I had no control.

My dad looked at me sideways as Caleb stepped a little closer.

"Sir, please don't do that. I, um, have a few things that I asked Maggie to help me with, before I go back to school. It's kinda important."

It wasn't completely a lie.

Caleb's hand snaked out slowly and low to touch the ends of my fingers with his and him and I both sighed. I looked up to his face, he was just as upset as I was about the prospect of not seeing me. So much for no trouble with my dad.

"Yeah, dad," I insisted. Dad glared at Caleb's fingers as he caressed mine. "Please. I'd love to go with you but I already promised Caleb I'd be here."

"Alright," he said stiffly. "But I don't want you spending every day, all day with each other. It's not good for you, especially if he's leaving for school in a few weeks and leaving you here."

Another jolt of pain ran through me.

"Dad, please don't say that," I almost moaned.

"Sorry. But it's true. The sooner you break it off, the better in my opinion." I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming at him. "Alright. Say goodnight to Caleb."

Oh c.r.a.p. I couldn't move. Caleb had to release me or whatever it is that he does to let me leave him and my dad was standing right here. Oh c.r.a.p!

"Maggie," Caleb said immediately, I a.s.sumed he realized what I just had and I locked my eyes to his. "Go up and rest. We have a busy day tomorrow. I'm sorry I bothered you but I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

I nodded.

"Ok."

He waited to see if that was enough to help me go and when he saw me turn he blew a grateful breath and smiled. He waved to my dad and said a goodnight as my dad shut the door.

"That's a strange boy, Maggie. Are you sure he's who you want to waste your summer on?"

"Dad."

"Ok. Ok. I'm going to go to bed. I have a lot to think about and an early start at the mill tomorrow. Goodnight, baby girl."

"Goodnight, dad. And I really appreciate you telling me all that before. I've been really worried about you."

"I know and I'm sorry. But things are gonna be back to normal around here. You'll see. I love you, Maggie."

"Love you too, dad."

I smiled and made my way up the stairs to my bed. I had texts from Bish and Beck both and answered them eagerly. Once I had gone back and forth with them both for about half and hour I laid down and thought about dad's new awakening. The 'event' was just something of the past.

In my opinion, and even though things were looking up, or down depending on how you looked at it, morning couldn't get here fast enough.

Ten.

I woke with the same aches and pains as the day before. But this time I understood them. Unfortunately for me, it didn't make them better. My head pounded, my back and stomach groaned and pulsed with painful jolts. My legs wobbled when I tried to climb out of bed.

I glanced at my alarm clock. Six fifty five. Pretty early. Caleb said he'd be here earlier than yesterday so all I had to do was wait it out. I went to the mirror on my dresser and saw the same ashen and sickly skin as before as I looked past the stars in my vision. I decided I should change out of my pajamas for when Caleb would be here. But wasn't fast enough.

I heard the doorbell and my legs were wobbly no longer. They propelled me forward and down the stairs as quick as I could make it. I yanked open the door...only to find Kyle. My heart sank painfully at seeing it wasn't Caleb and I collapsed against the doorframe and slid to the floor as the ache in my bones engulfed me.

Kyle came and yanked me up into his arms and held me tight. Then he whispered into my ear.

"Maggie. I'm so sorry. I got here as soon as I could."

"Where's Caleb?"

"Who's Caleb?"

I pushed him away and stared at him incredulously.

"That's not funny, Kyle."

"Here." He reached for me again. "Maggie, I know you're withdrawing. I am too. Come here, you need me."

"What?"

"Maggie, it's just the withdrawals. Touch my hand and everything will be ok."

"Kyle, I am not your significant. What are you doing here? Where's Caleb?"

He looked hurt and shocked. He started muttering to himself.

"Dad never told me about this. I thought you'd need me, right away. I didn't think you'd fight me and hallucinate."

"I'm not hallucinating!" I yelled. "Where's Caleb?"

"Mags," he said more p.r.o.nounced. "Who is Caleb?"

I started to falter. Had I just imagined it all? Kyle looked serious. He looked startled. He looked hurt and his eyes beseeched me to take his hand. I didn't know what was going on but I held my hand out and let him grasp it. His fingers were cold and rough, not like Caleb's and his touch didn't calm me or sooth me. In fact, it made my skin crawl.

"Maggie. What are you doing? You're blocking me somehow. Let me help you."