To Manhattan Beach for a bath one day She went and she said: "O dear!

If I leave off _this_ what will people say?

I shall look so uncommonly queer!"

So a costume she had accordingly made To take it all nicely in, And when she appeared in that suit arrayed, She was greeted with many a grin.

Proudly and happily looking around, She waded out into the wet, But the water was very, very profound, And her feet and her forehead met!

As her bubble drifted away from the sh.o.r.e, On the gla.s.sy billows borne, All cried: "Why, where is Mehitable Moore?

I saw her go in, I'll be sworn!"

Then the bulb it swelled as the sun grew hot, Till it burst with a sullen roar, And the sea like oil closed over the spot-- Farewell, O Mehitable Moore!

A RENDEZVOUS.

Nightly I put up this humble pet.i.tion: "Forgive me, O Father of Glories, My sins of commission, my sins of omission, My sins of the Mission Dolores."

FRANCINE.

Did I believe the angels soon would call You, my beloved, to the other sh.o.r.e, And I should never see you any more, I love you so I know that I should fall Into dejection utterly, and all Love's pretty pageantry, wherein we bore Twin banners bravely in the tumult's fore, Would seem as shadows idling on a wall.

So daintily I love you that my love Endures no rumor of the winter's breath, And only blossoms for it thinks the sky Forever gracious, and the stars above Forever friendly. Even the fear of death Were frost wherein its roses all would die.

AN EXAMPLE.

They were two deaf mutes, and they loved and they Resolved to be groom and bride; And they listened to nothing that any could say, Nor ever a word replied.

From wedlock when warned by the married men, Maintain an invincible mind: Be deaf and dumb until wedded--and then Be deaf and dumb and blind.

REVENGE.

A spitcat sate on a garden gate And a snapdog fared beneath; Careless and free was his mien, and he Held a fiddle-string in his teeth.

She marked his march, she wrought an arch Of her back and blew up her tail; And her eyes were green as ever were seen, And she uttered a woful wail.

The spitcat's plaint was as follows: "It ain't That I am to music a foe; For fiddle-strings bide in my own inside, And I tw.a.n.g them soft and low.

"But that dog has trifled with art and rifled A kitten of mine, ah me!

That catgut slim was marauded from him: 'Tis the string that men call E."

Then she sounded high, in the key of Y, A note that cracked the tombs; And the missiles through the firmament flew From adjacent sleeping-rooms.

As her gruesome yell from the gate-post fell She followed it down to earth; And that snapdog wears a placard that bears The inscription: "Blind from birth."

THE GENESIS OF EMBARRa.s.sMENT.

When Adam first saw Eve he said: "O lovely creature, share my bed."

Before consenting, she her gaze Fixed on the greensward to appraise, As well as vision could avouch, The value of the proffered couch.

And seeing that the gra.s.s was green And neatly clipped with a machine-- Observing that the flow'rs were rare Varieties, and some were fair, The posts of precious woods, besprent With fragrant balsams, diffluent, And all things suited to her worth, She raised her angel eyes from earth To his and, blushing to confess, Murmured: "I love you, Adam--yes."

Since then her daughters, it is said, Look always down when asked to wed.

IN CONTUMACIAM.

Och! Father McGlynn, Ye appear to be in Fer a bit of a bout wid the Pope; An' there's divil a doubt But he's knockin' ye out While ye're hangin' onto the rope.

An' soon ye'll lave home To thravel to Rome, For its bound to Canossa ye are.

Persistin' to shtay When ye're ordered away-- Bedad! that is goin' too far!

RE-EDIFIED.

Lord of the tempest, pray refrain From leveling this church again.

Now in its doom, as so you've willed it, We acquiesce. But _you'll_ rebuild it.

A BULLETIN.

"Lothario is very low,"

So all the doctors tell.

Nay, nay, not _so_--he will be, though, If ever he get well.