"You don't have to," he said. "I'm getting clean. See how my hands are shaking? I've been attending meetings. I'm going to do this, Wiley, but it would be so much easier if you helped me."

I glanced around to make sure Mr. Owen wasn't stalking me, hiding behind the candy racks and listening.

"I know you have to work," he whispered, remembering where we were. "Can I come over tonight?"

"I don't know."

"Just to talk."

I said nothing.

"Please?"

"All right," I said at last. "But you'd better wear a bullet proof vest because if I don't shoot you, Noah might."

He smiled.

59) Old buddies

NOAH FROWNED FROWNED when the lights flashed as the doorbell rang that evening during supper. when the lights flashed as the doorbell rang that evening during supper.

He hurried to the door to let Jackson in.

What do you want? Noah demanded angrily. Noah demanded angrily.

I want to talk to your dad, Jackson said Jackson said.

You hurt my dad's feelings.

I'm sorry.

My dad really likes you.

I know.

You were so mean!

I know. I'm sorry.

Noah turned to look at me, face full of disapproval.

Be nice, I signed. I signed.

He led Jackson to the table, took his place without offering one to Jackson.

"Hey," Jackson said, looking down at me.

"Is that all I get?" I asked. "'Hey?' I don't get a kiss? What the h.e.l.l is this?" I don't get a kiss? What the h.e.l.l is this?"

He bent to kiss me.

Noah made an unhappy face.

"Is that better?" Jackson asked.

"It will do, I guess," I said, handing him a plate and nodding at the empty chair.

He sat, helped himself to pasta and meatb.a.l.l.s.

"Real food," he enthused.

Why didn't you come to see me? Noah asked him. Noah asked him.

I had to work, he offered uncertainly. he offered uncertainly.

I thought you were my friend.

I'm sorry, Jackson repeated Jackson repeated.

You're a big doofus!

Don't talk like that, I warned him.

He is, Noah insisted. Noah insisted.

"What did he say I am?" Jackson asked.

"He said you're a big doofus," I replied.

"Getting it from both barrels," Jackson said.

"You deserve it," I pointed out.

My mom died, Noah said to him. Noah said to him.

What? he asked, incredulous. he asked, incredulous.

And you hurt my dad, Noah added. Noah added. You're a bad man and I hate you! You're a bad man and I hate you!

Stop it, I signed to Noah. I signed to Noah.

He is!

It's not your business.

It is too!

We had an argument, but we made up. It's okay now. Be nice.

He pursed his lips together, offering Jackson a dirty look.

"What happened to his mother?"

I explained.

"Oh my G.o.d," Jackson said. "I'm so sorry. No wonder he's so mad at me."

"He's a little protective."

"Wonder where he gets that from?"

"I wouldn't know. Told you to wear a bullet proof vest, didn't I?"

He smiled.

I'm sorry about your mother, he signed to Noah.

She's a big doofus too, he replied angrily. he replied angrily. You're probably going to be just like her. You're probably going to be just like her.

Jack didn't respond to this, merely looked at me with confusion.

"He's a little unhappy at the moment," I pointed out. "He'll be all right."

Jackson bit nervously at his lip.

Then he signed to Noah: I missed you.

You did not.

I did too. Want to play X. after supper?

Noah glared at him, trying to remain angry.

I can't get past the monster on level three, Noah eventually admitted. Noah eventually admitted.

Oh, that's easy, Jackson said. Jackson said.

Will you show me?

Of course.

Suddenly they were old buddies again.

Later, after Noah went to bed, we went to my room, undressed, and fell into each other's arms. I was gratified to note that he was just as hungry for me as I was for him. More so, it seemed. Our lovemaking was urgent, intense.

Afterward, we lay side by side looking up at the ceiling.

"I f.u.c.ked up," Jackson whispered in the dark. "I came down here to get clean. To get away from Boston, from my friends, from people like Mack, who got me involved in all of that. I wanted to start over. I have to, or I won't have a career left. I've got to do it for myself. But I got down here and it was difficult. Everyone is so weird. So religious. I started feeling lonely and I... f.u.c.ked up. I thought I could control it. Then I met you. I actually eased up a bit after that, but I couldn't get rid of my stash."

I reached down, took hold of his hand.

"Please tell me we can work this out," he said, turning to look at me and put a hand on my chest. He rubbed the skin over my right breast. "Tell me what I have to do to make this right with you, Wiley."

"You got rid of your stash?"

"Of course."

"Did anyone find out?"

"Not that I know of."

"There's nothing you can do," I admitted. "I have to learn how to trust you. I don't really have a choice."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I love you."

"You do?"

"You sound surprised."

"I thought we were still courting."

"We are. We've just moved on to courting level two, that's all. That's when you've got real skin in the game. A lot of skin."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss my chest.

"I love you, Wiley Cantrell. Remind me not to p.i.s.s you off."

"I'm not that bad."

"You wouldn't even take my flowers and chocolates. You were such a b.i.t.c.h."

"I'm sorry."

"I deserved it. All you have to do is let me make up for it."

His hand slid down my belly.

"Someone missed me," he whispered.