I helped him undress. He crawled into bed and I sat down next to him.

Tell me the story about Mom again, he said.

I sighed.

Please? he asked. he asked.

She was my friend when I was young like you, I said I said. We went to school together.

Like me and K.?

Yes.

But you went away, he said. he said.

I went to college.

She didn't go?

No.

Then what?

When I came home for summer the second year, we hung out together. That's when she got pregnant with you.

Then what?

She was scared. It's not easy to have a baby.

But you helped her.

I took her to the doctor many times. I tried to help her.

Then what happened?

Then you were born. You came too early. You were supposed to wait for another month, but you came early. You had a lot of problems because you were too small. Your mom got scared and she left, so Memaw and I took care of you.

Did Mom love me?

I'm sure she did.

Was she nice?

She was very nice.

Did you love her?

I tried.

But you don't like girls?

No.

You don't like girls because you're gay?

That's right.

You like boys?

Yes.

Why?

I don't know. That's how G.o.d made me.

So you and Mom got divorced?

We weren't married. We dated for a while, that's all.

And then you had me?

Then we had you, I said. I said.

Where is Mom now?

She went to heaven.

Can she see me?

Yes.

Can she hear me?

I think so.

Can she visit me?

I don't know. She'd have to ask Jesus for permission, I think.

Can she hear me if I pray?

Of course.

He folded his hands over his chest and closed his eyes and was silent for a long minute.

Okay, he signed, opening his eyes. he signed, opening his eyes.

Do you feel better? I asked. I asked.

He shrugged.

I love you, I said. I said.

I know, he said, closing his eyes. he said, closing his eyes.

I sat with him until he fell asleep.

54) Tonya brings food

TONYA BROUGHT BROUGHT a ca.s.serole that her mother had made. a ca.s.serole that her mother had made.

"How is Noah?" she asked, putting the ca.s.serole down on the table, then taking a good look at me. "And what the h.e.l.l happened to your face?"

"I fell down on the sidewalk," I admitted.

"Last time you went to New Albany you came back with a busted lip. Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something about the good souls in Union County."

"Maybe."

"You sure it wasn't Bill pushing you around again?"

"You know what a klutz I am."

She retrieved plates from the cupboard.

"Sit down and eat something," she said. "You look awful."

"Thank you," I replied. "I can always count on my best friend to make me feel better."

"You can also count on her to tell the truth. You look like s.h.i.t."

Tonya was blunt, which is one of the things I liked best about her. She had no patience for nonsense, bullc.r.a.p, beating around the bush. She told it like it was.

"Well?" she prompted. "How was it?"

"I guess it could have been worse. It was like one of those dreams where you're sitting in the cafeteria at high school and you look down and suddenly realize you're naked and you've got a huge erection and you're praying to G.o.d that n.o.body notices. I'm still not dead, though, so I guess it wasn't that bad. I could have been decapitated or something. The old man would have been happy to swing the ax."

"Kayla's dad?"

"He made a bit of a fool of himself. Shouting and carrying on about how it was all my fault. His wife told him to go to h.e.l.l, which was fun."

"She's the one who's been coming to see Noah?"

"She told him Noah was the only grandchild they were ever going to have and to stop pushing him away and get over his d.a.m.n self."

"He didn't like that, I'm sure."

"At the end of the funeral, he came over and shook Noah's hand. It's a start, I guess."

"How did Noah cope with all of this?"

"It was a bit freaky, but he did okay, all things considered. He's confused, trying to understand what happened to her and why she didn't want to be his friend. He really got his hopes up."

"I know he did."

"He's like me that way," I said. "Too trusting. He doesn't realize that some people are going to do the dirty on you, and it doesn't really have anything to do with you."

"Speaking of doing the dirty...."

"Yes?"

"Have you called him?"

"Jack?"

"Is there some other guy you're dating that I don't know about?"

"I can't call him."

"Why not?"

"I'm not going to get involved with someone like that again."

"Don't you think you owe him a chance?"

"It's not that simple."

"But it is. He made a mistake. You jumped to a bunch of conclusions about him and slammed the door shut in his face. If he really loves you, he might change, but you'll never know it if you don't give him a chance."

"It's too risky."

"Love is risky, Wiley. Didn't your mama ever tell you that? If you really want to get married and settle down, you've got to stop waiting for the perfect man 'cause there ain't no such thing. And don't forget the woman's rule of thumb: If it's got tires or t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es, it's going to be a headache."

"I know."

"I'm just reminding you."

"Says a woman who is also waiting for the perfect man."

"I am not!"

"Let's talk about your love life."