Chapter 11.

The intruders entered the room fast with their blades in their fists, some of which were already streaked with red. The remaining servants had run as soon as the guardsman had appeared with his news, but it looked like some, at least, had run the wrong way. Whoever their guide had been was also not with them, and had undoubtedly been given his reward for bringing them where they'd wanted to go.

Nice people... They wore dark green, tight tunics and trousers, short boots, and were dark-haired and dark-eyed. None of that meant anything to me until I heard someone behind me mutter, "Kenoss!" and then I was furious.

"They're not Kenoss," I announced in a loud enough voice to reach everyone, sending a look of disdain toward the newcomers who were forming up in preparation for attack. "They're sneaking cowards who are trying to make you fear them by pretending to be what they're not."

"And how would you know, girl?" the one who seemed to be their leader spat, his face twisted with feelings of insult.

"A Kenossi raiding party is never all male," I answered with a grin of satisfaction. "They don't wear boots, they don't form up before attacking, and they never ever answer insults thrown at them. What they do is attack with a war cry - like this!"

I let the old, wild yell rip from my throat as I jumped forward, and sure as rain will fall from the skies the intruders were shocked into standing and staring or giving ground in fright. I reached the one who'd spoken to me and cut him down, took the one to his right on the backswing, thenretreated before the rest could react to my being there. They screamed in fury, then, having lost two of their number in the blink of an eye, but more importantly they'd lost the possibility of being thought Kenoss. And then they began to wonder about me...

But wonder or not, frightened or not, the fight was on. The men I stood with were hardly the prudent sort, preferring to stand there and wait to see what would happen. They were the kind to make things happen, and using a sword was a special kind of joy to them. In an instant they were all around me, and when the intruders came forward to do as they'd been commanded, they met a wall of sharpened steel that had no intentions of crumbling.

The only thing that kept the fight from being over immediately was the fact that we were outnumbered. As fighters our attackers were fairly good, but we were better than that and we were fighting for our lives. I caught a glimpse of Garam grinning at the two facing him as he forced them both back, of Talasin holding his second opponent off with side parries while concentrating on his first victim. Ijarin had one down and was pressing the other two hard, while Fearin had also bested one, wounded a second, and was now trying for a third.

More than a dozen then, I thought as I tried to get the two in front of me to do something other than simply defend. Their expressions were grim and they weren't about to run, but they hated the idea of facing me. You don't pretend to be something to impress people unless you, yourself, are impressed by that something, and it bothered them that I'd known they weren't Kenoss. I'd known it too fast, too surely, too thoroughly... And the way I'd taken out two of their number without a single counterstroke trying to stop me...

I knew when each of them decided for himself that I had to be Kenoss, and I cursed under my breath. They were no longer fighting to get at me but away from me, which meant they were dead men. When one of them came in fast and hard in an effort to drive me back, the second broke and turned to run. Once I gave ground the first was supposed to follow the second, but none of it worked out for them. Rather than backing I blocked the attack with my blade, then countered before the man was ready. My point went in through the middle of his chest, causing him to stiffen as he coughed blood, and then he was falling.

I pulled my sword loose before the corpse took it down to the floor with him, intending to follow the second and finish him, but following turned out to be unnecessary. Apparently Ranander had materialized right in the fleeing man's path, and the dagger he held had not found armor to stop it. The body was just crumpling to the floor at Ranander's feet when I looked up, and we exchanged smiles before turning to the rest of the fight.

But there wasn't much left of that fight. Garam was still playing with the last of his, the man cut in a score of places and stumbling rather than backing. Fearin was also down to one, but he wasn't playing. He used his elegant fighting style to outstrip his opponent's excellent defensive moves, then slid his point into the man's throat. Just as that happened Garam finished off the poor soul he'd been toying with, his apparent aim to end just when Fearin did. Garam looked around with a grin to see if anyone had noticed, but Fearin, at least, was more concerned with other things.

"Is that it?" Fearin demanded as he looked around, his sword still poised and ready. "They're all accounted for? All right, then it's time to take care of our wounded."

He looked around again and so did the rest of us, but there didn't seem to be anything to find.

We were all spattered with blood, but none of it was our own. We'd not only survived the attack, not one of us had gotten wounded. It was something to be glad about, but it was also rather strange.

"Why should any of us be wounded?" Garam asked with a laugh when it was clear none of us was. "The rabble was counting on us thinking we were fighting Kenossi, but the girl erased that edge from the outset. Beyond that they were nothing, which we had no trouble proving."

"I suppose that could be true," Fearin grudged as he looked around again, then bent to wipe his sword on the clothing of his final opponent. "It's too bad none of us thought to save one of them for questioning, but it probably would have been a wasted effort. If they were protectedfrom my Seeking, they would have undoubtedly died before telling us anything."

That left the question of who they'd been and who had sent them, but before we could discuss the point a large number of guardsmen came rushing in. The swords in their fists said they were ready for a fight, and they wilted a little when they saw that the action was already over. The next instant orders were being shouted, and swords were sheathed to free hands for body removal. It was very nearly a mob scene, and I hurried to clean my sword on an intruder tunic before both the tunic and the body wearing it were s.n.a.t.c.hed away.

In the middle of all that Fearin got the twin girls and their protectors out of the small room, then sent the girls back to their apartment with a strong escort. Their shrill demands were still ringing in everyone's ears as they disappeared up the corridor, and I raised the goblet of fresh water I'd poured and drank from it. The dessert I'd been forced to leave unfinished was a ruined mess, too melted and warm to look or taste the way it had. It had been seasons and seasons since I'd last tasted that particular dessert, and I'd really been looking forward to eating all of it...

"Let me take a look at you," Fearin said as he came up on my left. "I want to make certain you're not hurt in any way."

"Why would I be hurt?" I asked his narrow-eyed stare, uncomfortable with the way he was inspecting me. "I only faced two of them, and they were mostly interested in getting away from me. I was afraid that would happen and it did."

"Afraid," he echoed, now looking at me strangely. "Would you like to explain that? Not that I expect to enjoy your answer."

"What has enjoyment got to do with it?" I asked, suddenly feeling very confused. "One of the ways I knew they weren't Kenoss was the way they all but shouted they were. Most people go terrified at the thought of facing Kenossi, and they might as well be unarmed for all the good their weapons do them. No real fighter wants to face someone who won't or can't fight back, so we usually try very hard not to let them know who they're facing. My two got the idea anyway, which ended the fight for them faster than it should have."

"So that's why you didn't tell them you were Kenoss," he said, shaking his head with what looked like faint exasperation. "We were outnumbered more than two to one, and you stood on a point of honor. I suppose if not knowing had let them kill you, you would have been happier still."

"If not knowing had let them kill me, I wouldn't have been a true Kenoss so none of it would have applied," I came back with a small laugh. "Anyone can hold to a point of honor when the going is easy. Doing the same when the odds are against you is the tricky part, but if you survive you know you've done something more than simply survive. No Kenoss will just settle for life; it has to be a quality life or there's no point to it."

He was frowning again and looked like he was about to say something, but he never got the chance. The barbarian Ijarin chose that moment to join us, and his words got said first."

"Aelana, I was worried, but I didn't have to be," he enthused, stopping to grin at me. "You handle a blade as well as I do. Nice work." Then he turned to the man of Power. "Master Fearin, you may have a problem with those guardsmen. If they're that upset from just seeing a few bodies, how will they react when it comes time to make some of their own?"

Fearin didn't understand what Ijarin was talking about, and neither did I. We both turned to look at the guardsmen, and saw that most of the bodies had been removed. Because of that a number of the guardsmen were free to stand around waiting for their next orders, but that wasn't all they were doing. They were also whispering to one another, and most of them looked pale and shaken. At first I had no idea what was happening - and then I understood only too well.

Fearin began to say something about how impossible it was for those particular guardsmen to be upset at the sight of bodies, but the rest of his protest was lost behind distance when I left the room behind. I made sure not to look at anyone I pa.s.sed on the way to my apartment, andonce there I went straight to the second sitting room.

The room was dim with the light of only a single candle, which meant it was still much too bright. Even so I walked to the corner where the porch-like windows gaped open onto the dark, unwinking black. Not a single torch on the inner walls of the grounds was still burning, not in that unending downpour...

I felt like an absolute fool, and I hated myself for having behaved so stupidly. I'd actually been laughing, for pity's sake, as though I were just another human being, forgetting I could be almost anything but that. Enjoy it while it lasts, Fearin had said, and like an idiot I'd thought he knew what he was talking about.

"What happened?" Fearin himself demanded as he abruptly strode into the room. "Why did you disappear like that?"

"I felt like going back to my apartment," I answered without looking at him, suddenly more aware of the chill in the night air. It made me want to shiver, but I refused to allow that.

"You could have said something instead of simply taking off," he complained, coming forward to stand to my left. "First you were there, and then you were gone. And why are you sitting in all but pitch darkness? Why don't you light more of the candles?"

The dark is where I belong, I wanted to say, away from where people can see me and start to believe I'm just like them. I'm not like them, not since I was reborn into the shadows of the dark, and I'll never be like normal people again. I wanted to say that, but it hurt enough already.

"It has something to do with the way the guard was behaving," Fearin stated after a moment of silence, suddenly sounding absolutely certain. "When I told Prince Ijarin that that group was from what our men call the Butcher Squad even though they number a lot more than an ordinary squad, he had trouble believing it. The group was as skittish as shy young girls under the eyes of men, and they looked as though they'd had a bad scare. That was when I realized that two of them had been in the corridor when you went out to search for the intruders."

And they saw me as I truly am, I thought, feeling the hard wood of the window brace behind my head. Now they look at me and drown in fear, just the way so many of my own people did. I'd never seen raw fear on the face of a Kenoss until I, myself, caused the emotion to be there. I hated myself for that more than anything else, just the way they hated me.

"You know, I really thought you were more intelligent than that," Fearin said then, and surprisingly he sounded annoyed. "If I'd known I was dealing with nothing more than another silly little girl I would have sent you to bed with those other two. From now on I just may do that."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" I demanded, forced by sudden outrage to turn my head to look at him. He stood in the dimness like a broad-shouldered shadow, arms folded and head up. "The day you find yourself able to send me anywhere, that will be the day the G.o.ds come down with shovels to clear the streets after a parade. You can just-"

"Enough!" he interrupted, overriding my abrupt anger with volume. "If you don't want to be treated like a silly little girl then stop acting like one! You're one of us in this venture because of the Shadowborn inside you, not because of your pretty blue eyes. Did you think you could turn the beast loose without anyone ever seeing it? Have you forgotten it's already been seen?

Those guardsmen are mostly low-cla.s.s peasants in their outlooks and beliefs; did you expect them to see anything but a demon when they peered into the shadows?"

"Leave me alone," I muttered, turning my head from him again. A demon was exactly what they saw in the shadows, hideous and inhuman, as willing to drink their blood as that of the enemy.

"I won't leave you alone," Fearin denied, and then there was a broad hand at my face, turning it back to him. A ghostly blue glow now surrounded him, which probably meant he could also see me clearly. "Only a silly child would waste time sitting in the dark, feeling sorry for herself over something that can't be changed. I can't use a silly child as part of my command group, soI refuse to let her stay like that. And if you think I can't send you to bed early for a few nights to teach you the error of your ways, you forget who the leader of this effort is. And who appointed him leader."

The outrage flared in me again, and this time I was so furious I couldn't get any words out. That he would dare to even think of doing that to me, to take advantage of his position and Diin-tha's backing to - to - "Yes, that's exactly right," he said, and I could see the grin he wore. "I would not hesitate to ask for any help I might need, and then you would do exactly as you were told. You don't like seeing people fear you; would you prefer to have them laugh at you?"

"No," I breathed through gritted teeth, unable to free my face from his Power-enhanced grip.

I'd never be able to stand being laughed at and he knew it.

"Would you mind repeating that, and at slightly greater length?" he said lightly, paying no attention to the way nothing but his Power kept the beast in me from breaking loose. "Take a deep breath, reestablish control, and then tell me precisely which you want."

The struggle to control myself was brief, but it was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I forced the red-edged fury back down to where it was supposed to stay, took a shakier deep breath than I'd intended, then moved my gaze to him again.

"No, I don't want to be laughed at," I said, the sour taste of almost having lost control strong in my mouth. "You win, High Master, and I lose. You insist on no brooding, so I'll certainly stop immediately. Now go away and leave me alone."

"You seem to have trouble remembering who gives the orders around here," he said, the observation mild and faintly amused. "If you're not going to be brooding any longer you don't need to be alone, but it is getting late. Since there are a lot of things waiting to be done tomorrow, we'll both go to bed."

His hand left my face to close around my wrist, and then I was being pulled off the ledge and across the room after him. I tried to pull free, even tried to trip him with a kick, but his Power wasn't letting it happen. I was hauled behind him into the apartment's bedchamber, and half the candles in the room flared alight at the flick of his finger.

"Comfortable," he commented as he looked around, nodding at the lace and silk in various gentle, blending colors. "A little too frilly to be perfect, but definitely comfortable. Stop here a moment."

"Here" was a round table half way to the large, canopied bed, and he didn't wait for me to do the stopping. He pulled me over to the table, reached down to unstrap the swordbelt I still wore, then took it and put it on the table.

"Don't worry, the weapon will be safe here with mine," he said, now in the midst of removing his own swordbelt. "You go ahead and turn the covers down, and then I'll be there to help you with your clothes."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded, hating how confused I felt. "Why would I need help undressing? If you intend to humiliate me after all - "

"No, girl, you're missing the point," he interrupted with a faint grin. "I'm not putting you to bed, I'm taking you there. I have nothing in my own bedchamber that can't be left alone, so I'm spending the night here. And you don't need help getting undressed, but you'll be getting it anyway."

"Oh," I said, feeling very foolish, especially with the way his grin had widened. "You must be thinking I meant it literally when I said you won and I lost. I was referring to our argument, which isn't the same as a physical fight. You can't take that as an Earning."

"Are you trying to suggest I need another Earning?" he asked, hard blue eyes suddenly pinning me where I stood. "As I understood it, a man Earns a woman for a full moon. At the end of that time he either releases her or makes the mating permanent, but he doesn't have to Earn her again and again. Are you telling me I'm mistaken?"

I would have enjoyed cursing silently under my breath, but with the way he was looking at mehe would certainly have noticed. I hadn't realized he'd found out quite that much about my people, and that changed things.

"I don't know why you're staring at me like that," I protested, trying not to show how uncomfortable I felt. "I wasn't saying you needed another Earning, I was just pointing out that you hadn't gotten one. And considering that you're using your Power, you wouldn't have gotten one even if you'd needed it."

"Why not?" he countered, immediately back to looking amused. "A man is ent.i.tled to use any natural ability he has, and for me the Power is natural. If I'd never learned to use a sword, would that make another man's using one unfair?"

"If he tried to use it against you, yes," I answered, turning away to be certain my expression didn't show how disturbed I felt. I would have preferred to be alone, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. "And now that you mention it, why do you know how to use a sword? Most men of Power are like Lokkel, out of shape and uninterested in changing. What made you do it differently?"

"Walk a little faster," he directed from behind me. "I'd like those covers turned down before dawn. You want to know why I developed my physical prowess even as I learned to summon and use the Power? If you think about it, the answer should be obvious. As you pa.s.s through life, there are situations that will require the use of your mind and others that require a physical response. If you choose one area and neglect the others, the day will come when, no matter how good you've gotten with your choice, you'll be facing defeat because your choice is temporarily useless. The Kenoss are great fighters. Do they rely on fighting skills alone and ignore the use of the mind?"

"How can you be an effective fighter without using your mind?" I asked, turning again to send him a frown. "The body and mind have to work together, one deciding what needs to be done, the other seeing to it. If you don't learn to coordinate the two, you end up losing both."

"Exactly," he said, pulling his tunic off and putting it on the table with his robe and sword. "If you don't let the mindless scream of a berserker frighten you, you find it unbelievably easy to cut him down. Once, when I was very young, I saw a High Master almost killed by a woman with a dagger. She was protected from his Power by a rival High Master, and even though he had the time to stop her physically he didn't do it. He was paralyzed through having failed to stop her with his mind, and so just stood there and let her put a dagger in him."

"And she still didn't manage to kill him?" I said, frowning up at him where he'd come to stand near me. "Was she blind, or just badly crippled?"

"Neither," he answered with a sudden grin. "She just didn't know how to use a dagger. She stabbed down at him, probably aiming for his throat, and managed to strike his collarbone instead. The collarbone did break, but first it deflected the blow enough to save his life. You have to remember that there are people in this world who haven't been taught to use weapons as soon as they learned to walk."

"That means she was crippled," I said, finding his grin irritating. "When you aren't able to do something you should be able to, you're crippled. Not being able to because you're physically hurt isn't the same. It's d.a.m.ned unfair, but you're not crippled."

"You know, I like the way you look at things," he said, his grin softening as his hand came to my face. "I've never known a woman whose opinions so nearly matched mine - but who, at the same time, was incapable of turning down a bed. Are you trying to say you'd rather sleep on top of the covers?"

I came close to growling at him at that, especially since I could feel the points of warmth in my cheeks. It was clear I'd forgotten about turning down those stupid covers because that would have been too much like inviting him, something I certainly had no interest in doing. I might have had to let him use me, but I didn't want him mistakenly believing it was my choice.

"I know," he said when I didn't comment, his arms coming up to circle me. "With all that Shadowborn and Kenoss training, you never had the chance to learn how to turn down beds. I'llbe glad to show you how to do it - as soon as we get rid of these clothes you're wearing."

He leaned down to kiss me then, at the same time putting his hands to my belt. It was one of the most awkward situations I'd ever encountered, and I couldn't keep from pulling back from both his hands and lips. He blinked at me in surprise, but didn't get angry the way I'd more than half expected him to.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Why did you pull away?"

"I pulled away because I don't enjoy feeling stupid," I answered, also feeling the warmth in my cheeks again. "Do you expect me to just stand here like a carving, wondering what to do with my hands and feet? I'll get out of my own clothes, and then you can - "

"No, no, no," he interrupted, stopping me from reaching to my belt, and then suddenly he scooped me off the floor into his arms. Two heartbeats later I was down on the bed, with him leaning over me.

"I apologize for making you feel stupid," he murmured, one finger trailing up my cheek. "I think you'll find it easier this way, at least for a while. And if you don't have what to do with your hands, you can always put them on me."

Then he began to kiss me again, lightly but in a lingering way, his hands flat to the bed on either side of me. After a short while I thought he'd forgotten about my clothes, but he hadn't.

He whispered to me to kick off my boots, and once I had he took care of my belt.

If I expected him to be just as fast with my tunic and trousers, that just showed how little I understood him. He spent half of forever lifting the tunic away, kissing what he uncovered before uncovering any more. My entire body tingled before he was done, and I couldn't quite control the rate of my breathing. When he began on my trousers I discovered that my hands were touching him, and had been doing so for quite some time. The muscle in his shoulders and arms was so deliciously hard, the flesh so firm and warm... I wanted to touch him, but he was moving out of my reach. I tried to follow but he refused to allow that, instead making me lie flat to accept what he gave.

And what he gave were sensations I'd never experienced before. The bedcover beneath me was lace and I clung to it with eyes shut tight, moaning at the touch of his lips and tongue. If I'd had to defend myself right now I would surely have died, and seriously thought I might anyway.

"Do you like this?" he asked suddenly in a murmur, the stroke of his tongue leaving no doubt as to what "this" might be. "I'm certainly enjoying doing it."

"I'm going to die," I whispered back, the flames in my blood burning so high they should have ignited the lace. "Please, I'm going to die."

"Nonsense, you're only just beginning to squirm properly," he said with a chuckle. "We'll do this for a little while longer, and then we'll turn down the covers. You should be ready by then."

Ready to pa.s.s out, he must have meant, and I certainly was. My breath was coming in squeaking gasps by the time he stopped, and at first I didn't know he had stopped. My first inkling came when he pulled the covers out from under me, covered me again, then slid in under the covers with me.

"Now comes the part we've both been waiting for," he whispered, moving between my knees.

"Are you ready?"

I didn't know that was what I was ready for, but when he thrust his great desire into mine I certainly found it out. I received him like sand receives water, drinking him in with ecstasy and immediately demanding more. I held to him as he gave me more, all that I wanted to the end of time, and when the world exploded in searing flames I exploded with it.

Chapter 12.

n't quite the first one out onto the porch the next morning for breakfast, but that was hardly surprising. After Fearin had gone back to his own apartment, I'd had to find some clear waterto wash in before I put on the clean clothing he'd left. Tight but flexible cloth trousers in dark green, a silver tunic of the same material, the soft, dark gray boots now a dark green... I had the feeling Fearin had been trying to say something about me admitting to be Kenoss, but I couldn't understand what. It was only during a fight that it wouldn't have been fair to mention what I was, and the presence of my new sword strapped around my hips should do well in cutting down on fights.

"Good morning, Aelana," Lokkel said when he saw me, a faint smile appearing on his face around his chewing. "The food is fresh and very tasty, so do help yourself."

"I fully intend to do just that," I said with an answering smile before turning away from him. I'd also looked at him rather closely, but there wasn't a single sign of the drinking he'd been doing the night before, not even the shadow of a hangover. It came to me that there must be a definite benefit in being a Healing Master if you were the sort who liked to drink; a small spell before or after, and the next morning no regrets.

I filled a plate with the food Fearin had created some time this morning wondering, as I reclaimed the chair I'd had the day before, where he'd gotten the strength. When he'd finished with me the previous night I'd fallen immediately asleep, and hadn't awakened until I'd felt his hand stroking my bottom. It was somewhere around dawn, I'd noticed, and then I hadn't been able to notice anything but what he'd begun to do to me...

I didn't quite sigh as I took a bite of the salted egg in my hand, followed by a cautious sip of the hot tea from the cup I'd poured. I had no real interest in the sort of thing Fearin was doing to me, not that it wasn't pleasant, of course, it was certainly that. A pleasant diversion that wasn't meant to be taken seriously, especially not by someone like me, but I felt very confused. I still didn't understand why he was doing it, or at least why he was doing it with me. He couldn't be seriously interested, not someone like him with an ugly ex-slave - "Well, that's certainly an improvement," a voice came, and I blinked back to where I was to see Talasin sitting down in the chair grouping with a plate of his own. "Yesterday you refused to look at the food, but today you're definitely looking at it. Possibly by tomorrow you'll progress from staring to eating."

"It so happens I am eating," I answered, raising the bitten-into egg to prove the point. "Just because I don't swallow things whole the way you do doesn't mean I'm not eating."

"It must be all that light and warmth out there that's improved both your appet.i.te and your mood," he came back, gesturing with a grin toward the new day. "Or maybe it was that bit of exercise we had after dinner. I happened to see your swordwork, and if there was any doubt about your being Kenoss the doubt is now gone. You weren't joking about your women being just as good as your men."