Behind the Lens.

s.e.xy Series.

Heather Dahlgren.

Dedication.

For everyone who has followed their dreams and made them a reality.

It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.

Prologue.

Kallie.

"Kallie, dinner will be ready in five minutes." I look at the back door when I hear my mother's voice before turning back to what I'm doing. This ladybug will fly away soon, and I need to get a few more pictures. I bring my camera up to my eye and focus on the many spots on her back. Click, click, click. I pull the camera away just as she flies away. I try to take a picture of her flying, but I'm not fast enough. I sigh and move over to the dandelion growing next to my mom's roses. She'll pull it out tomorrow, so I want to take a picture before she does. "Kallie Gregory, come on, dinner is ready." I take one quick picture of the pretty weed and run into the house.

I put my camera on the kitchen table and go to wash my hands.

"Hey, squirt, did you take lots of pictures today?" Braden asks.

I smile up at my big brother, so excited that he wants to hear about my pictures. "Yep. I took pictures of a ladybug, leaves, Mrs. Molly's cat, a squirrel, clouds, and a dandelion by Mommy's roses."

"What? There is a dandelion in my rose garden?" Braden and I laugh while Mom is looking out the window.

We sit down to eat dinner and I smile at my mom. "Mommy, can we develop my pictures tomorrow? Please, please, pretty please?" Sometimes I have to wait a while because we don't have extra money to develop them, but I really want to get these done. I have so many good ones on here.

"Kallie, you're the only eight-year-old I know that gets so excited about pictures," my mom says.

I lift my shoulders and take a bite of my hamburger. I love taking pictures. It's so much fun. I always have my camera with me, even in school. Mrs. Applestein took it from me last week because I pulled it out of my desk when Jimmy was making faces. I wanted to take a picture of him, but Mrs. Applestein said I needed to do math problems, not take pictures. I was doing my work; I just wanted to take a quick picture. Mommy said she would take my camera away if I did it again. I won't ever do it again because if I didn't have my camera, I would cry.

"Yes, we can develop them tomorrow," she says, surprising me.

I snap my head up and give her a huge smile. "Thank you so much, Mommy."

I love my mom. It's only her, me, and Braden that live here. I don't know my dad, but it's all right because I like just having a mom.

"Maybe one day you'll make money taking pictures, and what kind of mom would I be if I didn't develop your pictures?" She winks at me and I laugh.

"That's what I'm going to do when I grow up. I'm always going to take pictures."

FIVE YEARS LATER...

I glance around my bedroom at all my pictures. I laugh at the photos I took when I was younger, but I will always keep them. I keep getting better the older I get. Today, Braden is going to take me to this lake we like to visit, and I'm so excited because there are so many beautiful things to take pictures of by that lake. I got a new camera for my birthday a few months ago, and it takes amazing pictures. I'm learning to edit them also, so they look even more stunning.

I put my camera in the case and grab my cell phone before going to the living room to find my brother. He is sitting on the couch with a couple of his friends and their girlfriends. Braden is eighteen, but he still lets me hang out with him. He really is one of my best friends.

"There's the best photographer I know," Braden says, smiling.

I roll my eyes, but inside, I smile with pride. All of his friends say h.e.l.lo to me, and after a quick lunch, we head to the lake.

Braden and all his friends are swimming, but I'm not. There are too many things around me that I can capture. The sky is so blue today and the sun is shining just right, making the pictures so pretty. I squat down, angling my camera to take some pictures of cattails. They begin to move and I look up, seeing Braden standing there. "Kallie, aren't you done taking pictures yet?"

I stand up and brush the dirt off my hands. "Nope, I'm never done."

He laughs and puts his arm around me. "Have you ever thought about taking pictures of people...not just flowers and c.r.a.p?"

I shake my head as we walk closer to the lake. "I don't know, Braden. Flowers and c.r.a.p are easy. People are harder; they move and you need to tell them what to do."

He laughs, and I don't understand what is funny about that. I'm not good at telling people what to do. I can move objects or move myself to take a better angle of something without telling it anything.

"I think you should try. Don't think about it so much. Just take the picture." He grabs his girlfriend around the waist and lifts her. He turns around toward me and tells her to smile. "Take the picture, Kallie."

I do just as he said. I don't think so much and take the picture. He smiles at me before they head back into the lake. I look at the picture in the viewfinder, and I actually like it. I move a little closer to the lake and start snapping pictures. Braden and all his friends are splashing, laughing, and goofing off. After a few minutes, I check out the viewfinder again, and holy c.r.a.p, I actually like what I'm seeing. I see a couple kissing in the water, so I snap. I glance around and see a couple of them playing chicken, so I snap. I glance over and see Braden and his girlfriend; he has his forehead resting on hers. She holds his gaze with a small smile on her face, so I snap. I continue to capture all these amazing moments that would have pa.s.sed me by if Braden hadn't suggested taking pictures of people.

FIVE YEARS LATER...

I can't believe it's high school graduation already. It all flew by. I'm so d.a.m.n excited to start college, though. I'm majoring in photography and can't wait to have a career doing what I love. "Kallie, come on, you can't always take the pictures. Give your camera to your mom so you can be in this one." I laugh at my friend Ally.

She's right though, I'm never in the pictures because I'm always taking them. Ever since Braden suggested taking pictures of people, I haven't stopped. I even set up a small studio in my bas.e.m.e.nt and took some pretty f.u.c.king fabulous pictures of my friends. Braden got engaged this year, and he let me take their engagement pictures. I also realized I have no problem telling people what to do-as a matter of fact, I love it.

"Kallie, come on," Ally yells.

I snap out of my thoughts and hand my camera to my mom. "Don't drop it, Mom."

She kisses my cheek and takes the camera. "I know how long you saved up for this camera. I will handle it with total care."

I smile and walk over to my group of friends. We're all in our cap and gowns, ready to venture out in different directions. Ally wraps her arm around me, and we all smile for my mom when she says cheese.

After graduation, my mom, Braden, his fiancee Sarah, and I go out to dinner. I can't help thinking about all the new exciting things that lay ahead for me. The idea that I will one day, in the not too far future, be a professional photographer makes me so d.a.m.n excited.

"How about a family picture before you head off to college?" Sarah asks, holding her hand out for my camera.

I reluctantly hand over my camera and move to sit by my mom and brother. She holds up the camera and tells us to smile. It's so different for me to be on this side of the lens. I'm much more comfortable behind the lens.

Chapter One.

Kallie.

I'm sitting in my office loading up today's photo shoot onto the computer. I lean back in my chair and smile, thinking about how great it was. I've had my own business now for just about a year, and I never could have imagined the success that would surround it. When I finished college, I started working for a photographer. In the beginning, it was new and exciting, but as time went on, I realized I was doing more coffee runs than photo shoots. Until one day, it finally happened.

"Kallie, be a doll and go grab me a coffee. You know how I like it," Shannon says.

I look up at her, with wide eyes. "I thought I was going to shoot the next model?"

She smiles sweetly and holds out a twenty for me. "Maybe next time, sweetie."

I grab the money from her and make my way to the local coffee shop to get her a coffee, light and sweet. I want to kick myself for never sticking up for myself, but I don't want to make waves in this industry. I get her coffee and head back to the studio. When I walk in, she has already started the shoot. I put the coffee down and lean against the wall just taking it in. I watch her tell him to turn this way or that way, to take his shirt off, to lie down, stand up, and turn around. She's standing over him, behind him, in front of him. I can tell just by watching that the photos will be amazing. After she tells him to go change for the next group of pictures, she walks over to me. Part of me gets excited, thinking that maybe she'll ask me to take some this time.

"Thanks, sweetie. Hey listen, I don't know if they ever talked about this in college, but you know that it is completely and totally unethical for you to ever get involved with a model, right?" She says raising an eyebrow as she sips her coffee.

I am completely taken back by this. "Of course, I know that. Even if it hadn't been drilled into my head in college, I would never cross that line."

"You know that doesn't just mean dating, right? You can't randomly sleep with models, either."

I stare at her for a minute, trying to pick my words carefully because I can feel my blood starting to boil. "Shannon, I have no idea why the h.e.l.l you think you need to tell me that. Like I said, even if I hadn't learned that, I would never even consider it. I want to be a photographer; it's all I've ever wanted. I will never, ever, do anything to screw that up."

She shakes her head, still sipping her coffee. "I just noticed the way you were watching, and I could see in your eyes that you liked what you saw."

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my cool. "You're right. I did like what I saw. What you're wrong about is what I liked. I wasn't excited by the model; I was excited watching you. That's what I want, that's all I want." f.u.c.k this. I need to get out of here for the day. She's treating me like I haven't been here for four months.

I start walking away, and she touches my arm, which causes me to turn around. She's holding out her camera. "Time for you to get in there." I look at her in complete shock. She laughs and places the camera in my hands. "I know you think I'm a b.i.t.c.h, but I've seen way too many talented photographers lose their reputation. I don't want to see that happen to you. You're too good. Now get your a.s.s in there and take some kicka.s.s pictures."

That is exactly what I do. I walk over with my heart pounding in my chest. I'm excited and a bit nervous, if I'm being honest. I've taken pictures of my friends and family, but never an actual model. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I won't appear anything but professional. He walks back into the room and when I say he' I mean Maxwell Smyth, one of the hottest, most popular models right now. He's graced book covers, magazines, and billboards.

"Hey," he says. His deep voice echoing behind me.

I take another deep breath and smile at him. "Hi. I'm Kallie. I'll be doing the remainder of your shoot." He raises his eyebrows, giving me only what I can describe as a look of doubt. I don't even acknowledge it. I pull my hair into a messy bun and smile. "Let's start with some shots on the bed." He moves over to the bed and lies down. He's only wearing a pair of red boxer briefs, which make the amazing tattoos he is sporting pop. "Lay on your back with your hands behind your head." He does exactly what I tell him, and my confidence is growing with every second that pa.s.ses. I climb up onto the bed and stand over him. "Just focus on me; let's do this a few different ways. I want you serious, then smiling, and then p.i.s.sed off." He smiles at me, and I snap the picture. I know he wasn't ready for that, but he was so hot, I wanted to capture it.

I will never forget the next two hours. I take pictures of him in bed, in the shower, by the windows, and in the bathtub. Never once did I let the fact that he was so popular, s.e.xy as f.u.c.k, and naked affect me. I knew it wouldn't; this is what I've wanted my entire life. I wouldn't do anything to f.u.c.k that up.

When we're finished, he goes to get dressed, and I turn around to find Shannon with a huge smile on her face. "Sweetie, you were born to do this. That was like watching myself, only now, not when I was your age. You have a gift, and those photos are going to be amazing." I blink back the tears I feel swimming in my eyes. To have someone as successful and talented as Shannon compliment me like that is inexplicable.

"Kallie." I turn around when I hear Maxwell call my name. He is fully dressed and still hot as s.h.i.t. This time, he smiles at me and pulls me in for a hug. I'm a bit taken back by this, but I hug him back, because let's face it, a f.u.c.king gorgeous model hugs you, you return it. He lets go and steps back. "I have to apologize to you."

"What for? You did brilliant, as always," I say.

He gives me a shy smile, and I wish I still had my camera in my hands. "No, that's not it. When I walked in and saw you, I'll admit I doubted your abilities. I am so sorry for that, because girl, that was one kicka.s.s shoot. You are f.u.c.king amazing and professional, and I look forward to working with you again."

Holy f.u.c.king s.h.i.t, Maxwell Smyth just told me I am amazing. I want to jump up and high five myself I'm so excited, but I just smile at him. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much that means to me."

He gives me a wink, and if I was any other girl, I would have pushed his s.e.xy a.s.s down on that bed, but it's different now. I don't see him as a s.e.x symbol, I see him as a guy, and now a guy that has my complete respect. What an unf.u.c.kingbelievable feeling.

My cell phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look down and see my best friend Brinley's smiling face. "Hey, girl, what's up?" I hold the phone on my shoulder so I can put these photos into a file before loading the rest.

"Holy s.h.i.t, get ready, because we're going out tonight to celebrate," she screams excitedly.

I laugh as I start loading up the rest of today's shoot. "And what are we celebrating?"

I met Brinley in college. She was an aspiring model that a group of us got to photograph. After the shoot, we got to talking and went out drinking, and we have been friends since. She's absolutely stunning with long blonde hair that is often highlighted with pink, purple, blue, or red. She has bright teal eyes; honest to G.o.d, they are teal and they are hers. She has perfect full lips, a slim waist, perfect t.i.ts, and an a.s.s that makes even me want to grab it. Her nose is pierced, as well as her tongue, and she has the most beautiful tattoo*branches of a cherry blossom tree starting on her left hip, up her side, and filling her back. What I love most about it is randomly on her body she has a cherry blossom petal; it is so beautiful.

"I'm doing a shoot for the cover of Inked magazine! Holy s.h.i.t, can you believe that?" she yells.

I smile with pride because she deserves this success so much. "I can totally believe it, and I can't wait to hear all about it. Where do you want to go to celebrate?" I take a sip of my water and check my time, because I need to get myself ready if we are going out.

"Are you serious? We are going to Ecstasy, b.i.t.c.h!" she says, laughing.

I should have known. That is the club we hang out at quite often, but I f.u.c.king love it there. The bar is outrageous; the music is a mix of just about everything, there is a huge dance floor, lots of tables and booths, and a wide variety of single men.

"Sounds f.u.c.king perfect. I need to finish loading these pictures and getting them into files, but I'll do the editing tomorrow. So how about you meet me here in like two hours? We can grab something to eat before we head to the club too, because I'm f.u.c.king starving." I tap my fingers on the keyboard, willing the photos to load faster.

"That sounds awesome. I'll see you in a bit. Love ya."

We hang up, and I watch the photos loading on the computer. I did a shoot with Avrey Ray and Scott Williams today. They were unbelievably s.e.xy together. She has flawless skin, short blonde hair, and telling brown eyes. He is extremely well built and covered in amazing tattoos, with short brown hair and blue eyes. d.a.m.n, some of these poses turned me on, for f.u.c.k's sake. The way they looked, held each other, and kissed each other, it was hard to believe they weren't an actual couple. They aren't, though; they are just that amazing at what they do. The last picture loads, and I couldn't be happier with what I'm seeing. They were fabulous already, and I haven't even done any editing. That right there is proof of a great shoot. I load all the pictures into a new file and shut down the computer. It's time to go have some fun; well, after I get my a.s.s ready, of course.

I take a shower, getting the sweat of the day off me. I think I sweat more than the models do sometimes. After I wash myself and shave every inch of my body*you never can tell*I get out and wrap myself in the towel. I head to my bedroom to decide what I'm going to wear. It's hot in California being that it's summer, so I know it will be something light and definitely s.e.xy. Every woman needs to feel s.e.xy every now and again, especially when you haven't been with a guy in far too long.

It's been six months since my ex broke up with me. It happens often; they are all insecure with what I do for a living. No matter how many times I a.s.sure them that I would never do anything with my models, they just don't believe it. I had one boyfriend who actually came in during a shoot, and the model was lying on the bed with nothing on and only a sheet draped over his c.o.c.k. This a.s.shole sees me standing on the bed taking the pictures and calls me a s.l.u.t and leaves. I was humiliated, to say the least. I am professional, probably to a fault. I don't see the models the way everyone else does, but I guess some men just don't understand that. That's why, for now, I'm just having fun until I find someone who understands this is my job, my life, and realizes I would never cross that line. I am single, and even though it would be amazing to have someone, I'm all right with it.

I pull myself out of my ex-boyfriend thoughts and head over to my walk-in closet. I am so lucky to have found this studio apartment. I was living in a tiny apartment over an antique shop for a while, and having to find places to do shoots was becoming unbelievably hard. I love doing outdoor shoots, but sometimes you need a studio. My brother helped me find this place about six months ago. It is huge with an open floor plan, so the living room, kitchen, and dining room are all open to each other. However, off to the right, the person who owned this place before me knocked down a wall to the apartment next door to make the apartment huge. I didn't need all that s.p.a.ce, but I needed a studio, so I hired a contractor and he put the wall back up with a door leading from my apartment to the studio. It was perfect. Now I have my models come here as well as doing outdoor shoots. This apartment also has two bedrooms, one of which is my office, a large bathroom, and this ginormous walk-in closet I'm standing in. I don't think I'll ever leave.

I dig around in the closet for what to wear and stumble across my black dress. d.a.m.n, I haven't worn this in a long time. I pull it out and lay it on the bed. I slip on my black silk panties and matching bra. I walk over to the mirror to do my hair and smile when I see my new tattoo. I only have three right now: my lips on the bottom left of my stomach, actually right at my panty line; a ladybug on my foot, for good luck; and on my right side going from just below my breast to my hip, it reads, "Always Capture The Moment." I absolutely love it; it is so me. I glance back up at my face and shake my head. I have work to do. I pull out my blow dryer and begin the tedious process of straightening my hair. I do have to admit I love my hair; it's blonde with brown lowlights underneath and goes just past my shoulders. Once I finish styling my hair, I pull out my makeup. I put it on a bit darker than I normally would, but h.e.l.l, I'm going out, so I might as well. Once I finish that, I slip into my form-fitting black dress. Studying myself in the mirror, I really like what I see. My hair and makeup are flawless, my size C b.r.e.a.s.t.s are showing the perfect amount of cleavage, and my legs look long even though I'm only rocking five feet five inches. I throw on my favorite pair of heels and go into the kitchen to grab a drink before Brinley gets here. As much as I want to get my drink on, I need to eat first, so I just grab a bottle of water. Just as I'm finishing up my water, the front door opens, and Brinley comes walking in looking s.e.xy as f.u.c.k.

"Kallie, you are f.u.c.kable," she says, her teal eyes taking me in.

I grab her, squeezing tight before letting go. "I learn from the best. Congratulations on the cover. I am so d.a.m.n proud of you. You deserve this." She gives me her best shy face, but I know she's full of s.h.i.t. She loves the compliment. "Can we get the h.e.l.l out of here? I'm starving, and I'd like to get my drink on."

She high fives me, and we both laugh. "h.e.l.l yes. How about we grab some Chinese food?"

I grab my purse, checking to make sure I have money and my cell phone. "Perfect. Let's go celebrate another huge success in your career." We walk out the door, and I notice my neighbor. I wave and she gives me a small smile. Some people just don't know how to interact with other people. f.u.c.k it, it's party time.

After Brin and I eat, we head off to the club. Thankfully, it is all within walking distance, so we can get our drink on and have no worries. We pay our cover and head into the club. I scan the place, feeling the excitement in the air. There are people everywhere, which is exactly how I like it. The club is definitely made up of a mix of people. Just from my first glance around, I've seen three of my models, another photographer, and what appears to be college-aged guys. It's a shame I'm twenty-seven now, because they are f.u.c.king hot.

"Kallie, stop looking for a hook-up, and let's get a drink," Brinley says, nudging my shoulder.

I laugh but don't deny it because she's right. We head over to the bar and both order a shot of vodka and a rum and c.o.ke. The bartender, who is s.e.xy as s.h.i.t, hands us our shot first. I hold mine up and she follows suit. "To my s.e.xy b.i.t.c.h bestie. May you always continue to find success." She smiles and we toss back the shots. "How many more of these before I can get you on the dance floor?" I say, putting my shot gla.s.s down.

She taps her perfectly manicured finger on the corner of her mouth. "Since I'm ready to celebrate, I think that's all I need." We grab our drinks and make our way to the dance floor. The music is loud; I can feel the ba.s.s in my chest as we weave around the crowds of people. Once we find a spot on the dance floor, we both just let the music take over. "Holy s.h.i.t, Kallie. This is just what I needed. Thanks for coming with me."