"No, he-he liked me." Esmay swallowed and went on. "I think-I think he liked me a lot, actually,

and I-"

"Well, what happened, then," Luci said.

"We . . . quarrelled."

Luci rolled her eyes. "Quarrel! What's a quarrel? Surely you didn't let one quarrel end it!"

"He's . . . angry," Esmay said.

Luci looked puzzled. "Is he violent when he's angry? You still love him-that's obvious. So why-?"

"It's-mixed up with Fleet business," Esmay said. "That's why I can't explain-"

"You can't stop now," Luci said. "And I'll bet most of it's about you and him anyway, and nothing

to do with any universe-shattering secrets. You trust me with your horses and your money; you

ought to trust me to keep a few stupid secrets about Fleet."

The logic made no sense, but Esmay was past caring; she'd held it in as long as she could; she had to talk to somebody. As simply as she could-which turned out to be not very simply at all-she explained about Barin, about her transfer to command track, and her arrival at Copper Mountain.

And Brun. When she first mentioned Brun, Luci stopped her.

"So-that's the rat in the grain bin."

"She's not a rat . . . she's a talented, bright, attractive-"

"Rat. She went after your man, didn't she? I can see it from here. Used to getting what she wants,

probably started falling in love at twelve-"

Esmay had to smile at Luci's tone. "It's not that simple, though. I mean, that's what I thought-that's what other people said, with all the time she spent with Barin-"

"And why weren't you spending time with him?"

"I was taking double courses, that's why. They both had more time off-everyone had more time off

than I had. And then she talked to me . . . she said she wanted to be friends, but she was always telling me how to dress, how to do my hair-"

Luci pursed her lips. "You could use some advice there-"

"It's my hair!" Esmay heard her own voice rise, and brought it down with an effort. "Sorry. She wanted to talk about Altiplano, and about our customs, and it sounded so . . . so condescending, and one day she was talking about Barin, and I just . . . blew up."

"Told her to keep her sticky fingers off your man, did you?"

"Well . . . not exactly. I told her-" She didn't want to repeat those angry phrases, which echoed in her head sounding far worse than they had at the time. "I called her names, Luci, and told her she had no morals worth mentioning, and should go away and quit corrupting people."

"Oof. I can see I don't ever want you mad at me."

"And then I had to leave for the field exercise in Escape and Evasion-no, I'll tell you about that later-and when I came back she'd left Copper Mountain, and my commander was furious with me for what I'd said to her. She was under surveillance, being the Speaker's daughter, so they had it all recorded, and somehow the news vids had got hold of it. Barin-I thought he'd slept with her, and then he was mad at me for thinking he would. And as if that weren't bad enough, she was later captured by pirates, and they tortured her and took her away-and everyone's blaming me."

Luci gave her a long, cool look and shook her head slowly. "Landbride you may be, and Fleet officer, and decorated hero, but you've been acting like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Your brains have all gone to mush."

"What!?" After the previous conversation, she had expected some form of sympathy, not this.

"Yes," Luci said, nodding. "I guess I can see why-no background at all. But still-what a wet ninny you've been! Let me tell you something, cousin, if you don't get yourself back to wherever Barin is and tell him all about it-why you blew up at Brun, and that you love him-you will be confirmed as a total complete idiot."

Esmay could say nothing for the shock; she was aware that Luci was thoroughly enjoying what must be her first chance to lecture an elder.

"All right, this was your first love affair. But you've made every mistake there is."

"Like what?" Esmay said.

"Like not telling him. Not telling this Brun person. She may be the sort who snatches other peoples' lovers for the fun of it, but if you didn't even tell her-"

"How could I? We hadn't-and anyway there are the regulations-" Quickly she outlined the relevant portions of the code of conduct.

"Poppycock," Luci said confidently. On a roll, ready to lecture, apparently for hours-Esmay wondered if she had been like this with Brun. No wonder Brun had flounced away; if she'd known how to flounce, she'd have done it herself. "You weren't exploiting Barin; emotionally you're younger than I am. You could be reasonably careful and professional without turning into an icicle."

"I don't know . . ."

"I do. You are a fool if you sit here playing about at being Landbride, when you don't really care about this land at all-"

"I do so care about the land!"

"In the abstract, yes. And you'd like it to be here, unchanged, when you visit. But you can't convince me that you feel really passionate about whether coastal pastures are crossfenced to allow HILF grazing or left open and grazed in alternate years."

"Er . . . no." Esmay scrabbled at her memory, trying to think what "HILF grazing" was.

"Or whether we quit buying cattelope breeding stock from Garranos and develop our own breed, and if so, on what criteria."

"Not really . . ." She hadn't known they had been buying cattelope from the Garranos.

"Or whether to bring in new rootstock for the nut trees, or top-graft with the latest varieties

onto the old."

"I suppose not." Rootstock? Top-graft? She had not suspected her great-grandmother of knowing anything about any of this.

"Well, then. You have always wanted a wider world, and you made your way into it. You found love

there-that proves it was the right choice for you." That was a line of reasoning Esmay had never heard, let alone thought of, before. "Don't let anyone take it away from you," Luci finished, triumphantly.

"They can," Esmay said bleakly. "They can ask me to resign my commission-"

"Have they?"

"No, not yet. But Admiral Hornan hinted at it."

"There's more than one admiral, surely. Esmaya-you are older than I am, and you are the head of my

family now, but you cannot be a good Landbride if your heart is somewhere else. You want a career in Fleet, you want this man Barin-go get them. No one in our family has ever been shy about going after what he or she wanted. Don't break with tradition." Luci sat back, arms crossed, and gave Esmay a challenging stare.

The tumult inside subsided gradually. It seemed so simple to Luci, and it wasn't simple . . . and yet it was. If she had a goal-and she did-then why wasn't she pursuing it? Why had she been sidetracked? And, more importantly, what could she do about it?

"They're organizing an attempt to free Brun," Esmay said. She could talk calmly now. "The ship I was on is part of it. I should be part of it, but Lord Thornbuckle is blaming me for the whole thing-he insists that he doesn't want me to have anything to do with it. And someone I knew in the Academy is sticking to Barin like dried egg to a plate-"

"He's the sort of man other women want," Luci said, with no heat. "You said that-"

"Yes . . . but she's a bad one, really."

"So what would it take to get you back in Barin's good graces, so you can find out if he still

loves you, and back in your admiral's good graces?"

"I don't know . . ." She paused. "I don't know if Barin will ever forgive me . . ."

"He might not," Luci said frankly, "But you won't know that until you see him again. And the