He motions to the garage and two women scatter into his house. "Well then follow me," he says curiously.

We sit down in the garage while he lays out some lines. Petra's really generous about loosening up. You never deny his Dust. We snort a few lines before getting down to business.

"So, what's this help you need," he says wiping his nose.

"Snake."

"s.h.i.t... what did that s...o...b..ll addict do now?" He sighs.

Snake's always causing s.h.i.t with Petra's business. You would think the b.a.s.t.a.r.d would stop because Petra is his line to the product his club deals.

"He kidnapped my ol' lady, raped her and then let his son who was a prospect of mine rape her too."

"Man." He sits back letting out a few Spanish words. "What do you need from me?"

And it's that simple.

"I need you to make things difficult for Snake. I'm also trying to locate his son; the b.a.s.t.a.r.d fell off the grid. If you find him before we do, rough him up a bit, but leave it to my club for the rest of it. I should warn you though that when I'm done with Snake's son, I'm going after Snake. You're going to lose his business. I'll work up a few extra pipelines for s...o...b..a.l.l.s since we don't deal with that s.h.i.t to make up for it."

Petra runs his thumb under his chin.

"Three new pipelines the same as the last one you supplied for dust will measure out my loss. We have a deal." He stands, and I do too. We shake on it, say our goodbyes, and climb back on our ladies.

The entire ride back I'm all giddy and s.h.i.t. Things no doubt will run faster with the help of Petra's connection. PP will be mine before too long. The compound gate opens, and we ride on in. I back up my lady and throttle her down. When I climb off, I nod to my brothers and start heading inside until I spot Winter laying on the cement looking at the stars.

What the f.u.c.k?

"Angel," I say as I walk up to her and look down.

"Hey baby," she purrs drunkenly up at me.

s.h.i.t! I edge down next to her and rest my elbows on my knees. She's killing me. She's wearing a shirt that exposes the top half of her body and her fresh scar is staring at me in the face. Another f.u.c.king reminder I failed her.

"Where'd you run off too?" she asks.

I can't tell her. Bringing that s.h.i.t up just p.i.s.ses her off. I don't want another repeat of earlier tonight.

"Just club business."

"Right," she slurs while sitting up. "Always club business. I'm tired of being stuck here. I feel like I'm in f.u.c.king prison, Brax."

I reach over, pick her up, and lay back with her right on top of me. I can smell the whiskey on her breath as she breathes just inches from my face. I search her glossy eyes for any feeling, and I can't see one. I can't find one f.u.c.king feeling coming from her. One week was all I got to feel like my entire body belonged to someone else. I don't feel like that anymore. All the f.u.c.king bimbo's in the world never made me feel the way she did in that first week. I want that back. I will get that s.h.i.t back.

"Kiss me, baby," I croak.

She smiles and although it's not the smile I want to see, it's still a smile. She leans down and presses her lips to mine. I groan against her mouth and nip at her bottom lip. Her mouth opens just enough for me to slip my tongue in. It's f.u.c.king delicious. I roll her over gently laying her against the concrete, and I hover over her and suck on her tongue. Angel wraps her arms around my neck and arches into me. f.u.c.k that feels so good. I break from her tasty lips and start kissing down her delicate neck. When my tongue reaches the top of her collarbone, I rip open her shirt and kiss along her fresh scar. She cries out and wraps her legs around mine. This is the farthest we've been in over a month. I swirl my tongue around her right nipple and tease the left with my fingers. I'm so f.u.c.king hard it hurts. I drag my hand down her stomach and edge my fingers up her skirt. I rub on her swollen nub as I kiss all the way down, dragging my head to her core. She can't take my c.o.c.k yet, but she sure as s.h.i.t can take my tongue.

"Brax," she moans as her body tenses.

"Trust me, Angel."

"Okay," she breathes.

s.h.i.t yes!

I lap her slowly and carefully. I want to give her this. I need to give her this. I don't dare f.u.c.k her with my fingers. She's not ready for that yet. As I work her with my tongue, she writhes and shakes underneath me but never gets off. Finally, she gets p.i.s.sed in her drunken state and cries, pushing me off her. I fall back on my hands as she takes off running into the clubhouse.

What the f.u.c.k just happened? I can't even get my woman off with my tongue.

"G.o.d dammit," I roar.

I can't believe that just happened. I'm frigging damaged. I can't even let the guy I'm seeing get me off. I just left him there in the middle of the compound on the ground while I ran off. I run through the clubhouse and up to his small apartment. I shrug out of my already open shirt, kick off my shoes, slide my skirt down, and jump into the shower. At first, I only turn the cold water on so that it will help sober me up. I'm a wreck. I just want at least half of my life back. The little bit of me that was sane is no longer there and I feel this darkness swooping around inside me like a lost bat in a cave. It just wants to find its way out. I'm not living much of a life and it's slowly eating me alive.

I let the cold water blast me until I'm shivering. I reach up to turn on the hot water, and I slide down the shower stall. Once I hit the bottom, I lay down on my side and curl up, letting the water spray my entire body as I quietly sob, my chest heaving up and down. The bedroom door opens, and I hear Braxxon's footsteps. He stops in the bathroom doorway with a bottle of jack hanging in his right hand. He takes one look at me and brings the bottle to his lips.

After cursing up a storm, I get up and walk back into the clubhouse. I head straight for the bar, s.n.a.t.c.h a bottle of jack, and make my way upstairs. I'm p.i.s.sed, and I don't know why. All that makes sense is that I should check on her. I don't know what else the f.u.c.k to do. But when I get to my bathroom, and she's lying on the bottom of the shower, it makes my heart constrict as her gold eyes seize me to a stop. I don't understand how my feelings could be so deep rooted for her already, and that p.i.s.ses me off even more, so I tilt the bottle to my lips and gulp. She has no one to talk to. Lana blames herself, and she just hides away in the slam room. I don't know how to comfort a woman who was kidnapped and raped. I walk over to the shower, sit down on the floor next to it, and kick my feet up on the toilet. Right now, all I can do is be there for her. I lean my head against the wall and sigh before I turn it slightly to the right to peer at her. She looks so f.u.c.king sad.

When Braxxon sits down on the floor next to the shower, it makes my mind spin out of control. Why is he here? When his head turns to look at me, my heart almost stops. His gray eyes confused and lost. He's out of his element, and doesn't know what to do. I don't know what I need from him, and he doesn't know what he needs to give me. We're a screwed up pair. I mean h.e.l.l, we barely know one another, and we're already going through something that most couples wouldn't survive. Especially new couples that just started seeing each other. I take one of my wet hands and wipe the water from my eyes. I guess there's no better time than the present to learn things about one another.

"What was Christina to you and Sniper?"

It might seem like an odd question considering I killed her, but there's something there. Something I'm missing.

He sucks in a breath and releases it.

"There have only been three women in my life that ever meant something to me. She was one of them for a while," he answers and takes another drink.

Oh!

"What happened?" I whisper not sure if I wanna know the answer now.

"Baby... do you really wanna know?"

I close my eyes and nod my head yes.

"I didn't know Sniper was my brother for years. We don't have the same mother. Before he was my sergeant-at-arms, he belonged to another one of our Charters. Since we barely saw one another, we didn't have any idea that we were both s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g Christina. That part finally makes sense now that I know she was Snake's daughter. Anyway, she was this whole other person when I was with her. She was outgoing, funny, beautiful, and smart. So I developed feelings for her, and when my pop got sick and was dying in the hospital from infection, Sniper came to visit. Obviously Christina didn't know that Sniper and I knew we were brothers so when she showed up to comfort me while I waited for my pop to take his last breath, she ran into us both together. My guess is that she was getting intel from the both of us and when Sniper seen her he was all excited because he hadn't seen her for like a month or something. He was in love with her. So naturally, we both fought over her while my father died in the hospital. It was a mess that was put on hold because the brothers wanted to vote me in before my father pa.s.sed away. They came up to the hospital to do just that and saw Sniper and me going at it. So what they did next surprised the s.h.i.t outta us. I mean they all voted me in as MC President. I didn't know what the h.e.l.l to do. I was twenty-eight years old; I didn't wanna control an entire MC. I have responsibilities, not just my club, but for our other charters." He stops and takes another drink before he continues.

"So I'm sitting there in shock when they call another vote. They vote Sniper into our charter and then vote him in as my sergeant-at-arms. That blew us both away. It's unheard of, it doesn't happen, but my father built this MC and they wanted to make my father proud before he died. So after he pa.s.sed away, Sniper and I finally went at it. I mean we fought so f.u.c.king much and all because of Christina. Turns out that is almost the exact thing that happened with Snake and my pop. So now, it all clicks into place when I think about it. My father by d.a.m.ned was not going to let her ruin our newly found brotherhood," he exhales.

"Wow," is all I can murmur. I sit up and reach for the hot nuzzle and turn it on more. The water is starting to get chilly, but we're talking and not about what happened to me, so this is good.

Angel lies back down on the bottom of the shower after adjusting the water. Her scar is bright red from the warm water trickling against it.

"Tell me about the boyfriend who got his head blown off," I say and immediately cringe. f.u.c.k, I shouldn't have worded it like that. But then she shocks the h.e.l.l outta me.

"Just him, okay," she whispers as she sits back up and folds her knees to her chest, resting her chin against them. I'll remember this exact moment forever. It's the moment that I realize she'll always be my Angel, no matter what f.u.c.king happens. She looks so beautiful sitting there with the water running over her.

I can't say anything because I'm afraid I'll choke on my d.a.m.n tongue. This is what p.i.s.ses me off. She's the only woman who's been able to do this to me. I'm glad when she starts speaking because it drags me outta my mind f.u.c.k.

"His name was Allen, he worked for my father. I was seventeen years old when I first locked eyes with him. I came home from dance, and there he was doing some computer c.r.a.p on my father's laptop. I crushed on him instantly. He was the s.e.xy older employee of my fathers. I was always doing the right things. I never once disobeyed my father until I met Allen. We flirted for over a year because I was only seventeen and he was twenty-five. However, on my eighteenth birthday we snuck away to my family's boat. I gave myself to him that night. We were able to see one another until I was twenty-one without getting caught. It was a big deal because my father didn't want me mixing with his business and he considered Allen his business." She blows out a long breath before continuing. "One day I got a text from Allen's number, and it seemed off. Like he didn't send it; I figured he'd just had a long day, so I went to where the text said to go and. Once I get there... my eyes immediately find his. He has tears in his eyes, and my father stands behind him. My father kicks him to the ground, and I rush forward. Allen mouths... G.o.d, he mouthed I love you right before my father blew his brains out all over me" She sobs and buries her head into her folded up body. She continues talking, and it comes out as mumbles. "It was the first and only time he told me he loved me. After his funeral that I had to watch from a distance, I waited until my father thought I had gotten over it and I dropped out of my last year of dance, pulled my life savings and well..." She waves her hand around in the air.

f.u.c.k! No wonder she's screwed up. This past year has been s.h.i.t for her. She lifts her head, her look going cold.

"I grew up around this kinda s.h.i.t, and when I fall in love with a criminal he can't stand it? What did he expect? If he ever finds me," she shakes her head her voice going low, "people will die."

The bit about her falling in love with a criminal just p.i.s.ses me off. Her man might be dead, but the fact she's been in love before makes me see red, and I grind my teeth together. My brain is calling me a p.u.s.s.y as I have my inner jealous rage battle going on.

"I care about you, you know," I tell her again.

She laughs, and it's a beautiful sound since I haven't heard a true laugh from her in weeks.

"It's pretty messed up, right? I mean look at us." She points, smiling before her face goes serious again. "But I care about you too, Braxxon. I just don't know how much yet."

Thank Christ! It's not just me having these maddening thoughts.

"C'mere, Angel," I growl.

"No... you c'mere," she purrs. Playful, gorgeous Angel is back, and I'm going to take advantage of it.

I blast out my full watt smile and crawl towards her. She's inpatient and yanks me in, and my b.a.l.l.s shrivel on the spot.

"f.u.c.k, s.h.i.t, d.a.m.n... that's cold, Angel."

She giggles and slaps me on the arm. "Then help me out would ya?"

"C'mon on sweetness." I stand and help her to her feet.

"Thanks for checking on me, baby," she says through chattering teeth as I wrap a towel around her.

"I might've had motive. You know you were laying there all f.u.c.king soakin' wet and naked. I wasn't leaving that view for the world," I tease her.

"b.a.s.t.a.r.d," she mumbles with a smile on her face.

"Let's go to bed. I need to wrap my feet with yours."

Well h.e.l.l. Let me just cut off my b.a.l.l.s and hand them to her on a silver d.a.m.n dinner platter. Could I be any more of a little b.i.t.c.h?

It's been two flipping f.u.c.king long weeks since Winter and I had our shower talk. Petra has a lead on PP's location and every time my prepay rings I get all d.a.m.n jittery and s.h.i.t. Having the family on lockdown for this long is starting to wear thin. Everyone is at one another's throats, the kids, especially the older ones are wigging out. Tatiana is driving Berry, Phil, and ZZ insane. But it's been way too quiet for us to take a chance and release the lockdown. Angel is still drinking, snorting, and mentally healing. I don't know what will fix her if anything. All I know is that she's slowly letting me in, and I'm slowly letting her in. My d.i.c.k is about to fall off from no use, and I've never went this long without f.u.c.king. h.e.l.l, I've barely been two days without s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g some nameless wh.o.r.e. She's worth it though. f.u.c.k is she worth it. Every once in a while I'll catch her smiling at me, and that one look is my constant reminder that she's still in there somewhere. That girl that rushed the breath out of my lungs with one dance is still there. I'm sitting at the bar twirling a shot gla.s.s around in my fingers when I hear a bunch of ladies pull in. My eyes cut to the monitor above the bar, and I grin because our Lady chapter just pulled in. They're based just two counties away, but they're coming back from a charity ride. Angel walks up to the bar, looks at the screen, and her eyes cut to mine.

"I haven't seen you grin like that since the weekend I met you," she murmurs.

Oh, s.h.i.t!

"Is one of them one of the three you've ever cared about?"

How to answer that? She's just making progress and finally letting me in. If I don't answer truthfully, she'll just find out from someone else or from interaction. I take my shot gla.s.s, pour some whiskey in it, and hand it to her. She takes it and drinks it with a straight face, her gold eyes never leaving mine.

"Yes," I say.

"Oh... and is the third one here, too?"

She is the third one. It pulls at my chest for her to think I don't care about her when I constantly tell her that I do. f.u.c.k, why is s.h.i.t so complicated?

"I'm looking at her," I say honestly.

Her sad frown slowly edges to a smile and she nods, taking the whiskey bottle from me and throwing back another shot.

"That's nice," she whispers.

That's nice. That's all she can say? Jesus there she goes closing off again. Just when I think I'm making f.u.c.king progress.

"I'm gonna go visit with Lana."

That'll be good. Lana won't come outta that d.a.m.n room but only to eat. She's really taking this guilt thing a little too far. And the s.h.i.t she's putting in my VP's head is nuts. He's so bent over her.

"Yeah, okay."

"I'm gonna visit her for a long while. So maybe if you need to... umm... relieve yourself with," her eyes cut to the monitor, "the second one, I won't be upset. I can't give you want you need, and we're really not a couple. We don't know what we are because I'm so screwed up, and I know this isn't how you normally do things. I'm just gonna go," she says her voice low.

Did she just give me a green light to f.u.c.k someone else? Have I not been clear with her? I could f.u.c.k the m.u.f.fler bunnies running in and outta here if I wanted some that d.a.m.n badly.

f.u.c.k this s.h.i.t; I'm tired of it. She wants me to lay it to Dizzy, then I will. I'm done waiting around for her to realize what I mean when I say I care for her. I'm an MC f.u.c.king president; she can just go to f.u.c.king h.e.l.l now.

Besides, Dizzy will blow my f.u.c.king mind to oblivion. She was the best lay I've ever had until I stuck my d.i.c.k in Angel. s.h.i.t, there I go again.

I need to rectify this situation right now. Screw someone else and then just maybe I won't give a s.h.i.t about Angel anymore.

I slide out of my stool, head outside and when my eyes meet Dizzy's, I'm spun around again. She does that to people hence her name. She's so d.a.m.n hot. Her long black hair with bright red highlights running through it and her long legs clad in leather. f.u.c.k me. This is good. This is very good.

"Prez," she smiles walking up to me.

"I have an itch," I growl and pull her behind me walking so d.a.m.n fast.

"Mmm...and you need me to scratch it," she laughs keeping up the pace.

"Yes," I grit out.

If I don't look needy, then people are blind. I'm practically running down the hall with her hand in mine towards my room when I spot the slam room door halfway open. Angel's whispering to Lana and I guess she feels me because her head turns and her eyes meet mine. She takes a deep breath, shuts them, and turns her attention back to Lana.

"Braxxon," Dizzy says, and it's enough to remind me I have a hot f.u.c.k waiting for me.

"Let's roll." I slap her on the a.s.s.

I don't even have my bedroom door shut before she attacks me, ripping my clothes off. Her tongue thrusts in my mouth as I undo her leather pants. When we're stripped of our clothes, I pick her up, slam her down on my dresser, and reach for a condom. I shield myself in record time, slam into her, and groan.

"f.u.c.k baby," she curses.

No s.h.i.t.