aNot for long. Not for possibly weeksa. aDoesnat bother mea. Russell gave a faint groan. aBen, Iam so sorrya"a aItas OKa.

aNo, Iam sorry. Iam really sorry. And Iam wrong, quite wrong. Mum will kill me. Iall kill myself. Have the sodding sofa. Have ita.

Ben stirred uneasily in his chair.

aItas OK, Dad, honesta"a aNo!a Russell said almost shouting again. aI canat turn you away to sleep on the floor, of course I canat. What am I thinking of?a He put a hand out and clasped Benas arm firmly. aCome home, Ben, and have the sofaa.

Ben looked at his fatheras hand, and then at his face. Then he smiled. aCool, Dad,a he said.

Rosa telephoned Kate to say that shead been made employee of the month. Her photograph had been put in a frame on the manageras desk and she had been given a metal badge, like an elaborate medallion on a pin, to wear on her uniform jacket.

aBrilliant!a Kate said. She had the telephone held to one ear and the baby was asleep on her other shoulder. As long as he was on her shoulder, he slept deeply; the moment she transferred him, however gingerly, to the carrycot, he woke up and cried. aThank you,a Rosa said.

aRose,a Kate said, summoning all the generous energy she could manage, athis is good! I mean this is progress, real progress. Youall be able to think about your own place again any minutea.

There was a beat and then Rosa said, aOh, I donat think soa.

aWhy not?a aOh,a Rosa said again, ayou know. The old reasona.

aDebt?a aMmma.

aDayou mean youare intending to stay at home until youave paid off everything?a There was another brief pause and then Rosa said, aNot a" entirely just that,a and then she said quickly, aHowas the baby?a aAsleep. As long as I hold hima. aGoodnessa"a aItas amazing the things you can do with one hand. I even put my jeans on this morning, except the zip wonat do up. Not by milesa.

aHas he got a name yet?a aNo,a Kate said, aheas called Baby. Barney calls him Georgea.

aIall be round soon,a Rosa said, aor heall be old enough for school and Iall have missed hima.

aRosaa"a aWhat?a aNothing,a Kate said.

aWhat nothing? Are you OK?a aYes,a Kate said, aIam fine. Iam going to ring off now because my arm is aching. Bye bye, star saleswomana. aBye,a Rosa said.

Kate dropped the telephone on to the sofa and collapsed beside it, transferring the baby from her shoulder to her lap. He opened his eyes to check on his surroundings and then, satisfied, closed them again. It was so hard, so abidingly hard not to tell Rosa about Ruthas visit, but Ruth had been so fierce in making Kate promise to tell no one that she had had to agree.

aNo one knows,a Ruth had said. aNo one. Only you. I only told you because youave just had a babya.

aBut you must tell Matthew, if, that is, if itasa"a aOf course itas Matthewas,a Ruth said, aof course it is. And I will tell him. I will. But nobody must know before he does. Nobodya.

aBut,a Kate said pleadingly, athis is so lonely for youa"a aYes,a Ruth said.

She had left soon after. She had left before Kate could ask her what she planned to do after she had told Matthew, what she was going to do about her flat, her job, her future. She had left as abruptly as she had come, and after she had gone and Barney had said, in some surprise, aWhat was that all about?a Kate had had to go back and check on the baby as if some disruptive high wind had whirled through the flat and left chaos in its wake.

Very gradually, she eased the baby off her lap and on to the sofa. Then she lay down beside him and put her face as close to his as she could get it.

aYou have no idea,a she said, her mouth almost touching his cheek, athe difference youave made. You have no idea how hard youave made some things, how youave made me feel, how impossible it is to imagine what it was like before you were herea.

The baby yawned in his sleep, unclenching one hand in the process.

aI said Iad go back to work,a Kate told him, aI said I would. I want to. I donat want not to. But I canat. I canat do anything but be with youa.

She put a finger into the babyas hand. He grasped it, never opening his eyes.

aJust donat grow up,a Kate said. aJust donat get any bigger and then we wonat have to do any of it. Either of usa.

aGoodness,a Edie said, ayou still up?a aObviously,a Russell said.

She dropped her bag on the kitchen table and took off her jacket. She didnat look at Russell.

aGood tonight?a aYes,a she said.

He put his hand on the wine bottle in front of him.

aDrink?a She nodded. She went over to the sink and ran water into a mug and drank it. Then she came back to the table and sat down, at the opposite end to Russell.

He filled the wine glass for her and pushed it a foot along the table.

aHerea.

She didnat move.

aThanksa.

aWhat,a Russell said, ais the matter?a Edie reached for the wine glass, failed to, and sat back.

aIam just so dog tireda.

aUma.

aIt was a nice audience,a Edie said. aLovely, really. Not a bad house in numbers terms either. They were paying attention. It was a" well, it was mea.

aWhat was?a aIt was me,a Edie said, anot paying attentiona. Russell got up and moved Edieas wine glass so that she could reach it.

aTherea.

aThank youa.

aI think,a Russell said, athat you know so clearly what you are doing that, even when you arenat paying attention, it doesnat mattera.

Edie sighed.

aIt doesa.

Russell looked round the kitchen. He said guardedly, aWell, I think you should go straight to bed now, and Iall do whatever needs to be donea. Edie took a gulp of her wine. aAre they all in?a aI have no ideaa.

aI canat go to bed unless theyare all ina.

aEdiea"a aI canat,a Edie said idiotically. aI never could and I never will be able toa.

Russell closed his eyes.

He said under his breath, aMad and untruea.

aWhat?a aNothinga.

aDonat mutter at me,a Edie said. aDonat wait up for me just to muttera.

Russell took a breath. aWhat needs doing?a Edie let out a little yelp of sarcastic laughter.

aIt would be quicker to make a list of what doesnat need doinga"a aLook,a Russell said. aLook. This is worse than when they were at school. This is worse than when they were students. Just stop trying to do everything. Just stop. Theyall all do more if they only know what you want!a Edie turned her face aside.

aI canat let thema.

aWhy not?a aBecause theyare poor and broken-hearted and in a mess of one kind or another and itas all my faulta.

aRubbish,a Russell said vehemently. aAbsolute rubbish bloody crap. Youare behaving like this because you need to justify not wanting to let goa.

Edie put her face down sideways on the table.

aGive me strengtha"a aMe too,a Russell said.

Edie sniffed.

Russell ignored her.

She said, not moving from the table, aWhy on earth did you stay up if you only want to bawl me out?a There was a silence. Russell cleared his throat. Edie stared at the cooker and thought how the tiles on the wall behind it needed cleaning.

Then Russell said, aThereas something I have to tell youa.

Chapter Seventeen.

aSheas in reception,a Blaise said to Matthew.

Matthew was looking determinedly at his screen. He didnat reply.

aSheas been there since ninea.

aI knowa.

aShe says you know sheas herea.

aYesa.

aMatt,a Blaise said, bending down to try and interpose his head between Matthew and the computer screen, ayou canat leave her sitting out there. You canata.

Matthew said, aThe only way Iave been coping with any of this is by not seeing hera.

aItas no good, you know, just ducking outa"a Matthew transferred his gaze from the screen to Blaise.

aAnd dayou know what will happen if I go out to her? Sheall ask if we can go and talk and because itall be a public place and I canat make a scene Iall say yes, and weall go and have a coffee or something and then sheall start saying that it can work, that sheall do anything I want and Iall say itas too late, because it is, and then sheall cry and Iall feel a complete bastard and say I have to go and Iall get up and come back here and everything will be even worse, yet again, than if I hadnat gone in the first placea.

Blaise straightened up a little. Then he sat on the edge of Matthewas desk and stretched his legs out.

He said, aShe says sheas just got one thing to tell you and it wonat take longa.

aIt doesnat matter what it isa"a Blaise flung his head up and looked at the ceiling.

aMatt, you donat have a choicea.

aOh I do. Itas the last thing I do havea.

aWhatever you feel about her, you were in a relationship and you do have to listen to her, one more time. Itas humiliating for her, sitting out there, with people like me, who knew about the two of you, tramping through. She canat be doing this because she wants toa.

aWhy not?a aShe isnat that kind of girla. aSheas become that kind of girl,a Matthew said. aOnly because youare treating her like thisa. Matthew flung his chair back and shouted, aOh, for Godas sake!a Several people at nearby desks looked up. One girl called, aShut it!a aDonat lecture me,a Matthew hissed. aDonat preach at mea. Blaise shrugged. aLeave you to ita. Matthew said nothing. Blaise went back to his desk.

Matthew raised his eyes to the level of his screen and became aware that some of the people who had looked up when he shouted were still looking, in the unnervingly focused way of people waiting for the next development in a drama. Matthew shot his chair back in towards his desk and leaned to peer at his screen, his hand on the mouse. He counted to fifty and then he got up and walked, as slowly and nonchalantly as he could manage, across the office towards the reception area. He did not glance at Blaise as he passed him.

Ruth, wearing a business suit, was sitting in a black leather armchair, reading a copy of the Financial Times. Her hair was pulled back in a spiky knot behind her head and she had on the red-framed reading glasses Matthew remembered her telling him she hardly needed visually but found a useful psychological barrier in some meetings. Matthew paused. Ruth glanced up, on cue, and regarded him over her newspaper.

He walked across and stood awkwardly in front of her. She was wearing a completely inscrutable expression.

He said lamely, aWell, here I ama.

She folded the newspaper without any particular hurry and laid it on the glass-topped table beside her. Then she stood up. Matthew suddenly felt a little shaky.

Ruth said, in a voice presumably intended for the receptionist behind her barricade of brushed steel and black acrylic, aThis wonat take long,a then she bent and picked up her handbag and her briefcase.

Matthew put out an automatic hand to help her.

aNo, thank you,a Ruth said.

She moved past him and began to walk towards the bank of lifts. Her back seemed to Matthew to be emphatically straight. He turned to follow her, and as he did so it came to him, from some weird reservoir of sheer instinct, exactly what it was that she was going to tell him.

The contract cleaning company told Edie that a house the size of hers would occupy four people for a whole day and, if she wanted the windows included, would cost something in the region of three hundred and fifty pounds. Of course, that excluded any cleaning inside cupboards, and if she wanteda"

aNo, thank you,a Edie said.

aThen I assume a basic surface cleana"a aNo, thank youa.

aOur quotations are extremely competitivea"a aI donat doubt ita. aMrs Boyda"a aThank you,a Edie said loudly, abut no thank you. Noa. She threw the telephone into the armchair opposite. Ben had left a bath towel draped over the back of it. The rest of his possessions, including a duvet and a pillow, were piled behind the sofa, where Arsie had immediately found them and made a nest. It was a neat pile but it wasnat, however you looked at it, a small one. The mere knowledge that it was there made Edie feel rather tearful.

It was awful, really, that Ben should be reduced to sleeping on the sofa in the first place. But what was worse was that Edieas own feelings at having him home again were so confused, so unlike the rapture she had anticipated, that she hadnat known who to be furious with first. She had raged at Russell for being Benas confidant before she was and then at Rosa for being in Benas bedroom and had only been prevented from turning on Lazlo by Rosaas unexpected and forceful intervention. It had seemed to her, for a few days, intolerable that something she had longed for so intensely should be granted to her in a form that effectively stripped it of all its rightful satisfaction.

aDonat take it out on us!a Rosa had yelled. aJust because youave got what you wanted in the wrong way!a Lazlo had come to find her in her cupboard of a dressing room, painting on Mrs Alvingas Norwegian pallor.